Or nobly wild, with Budgell's fire and force, Paint angels trembling round his falling horse?
F. Then all your muse's softer art display, Let Carolina smooth the tuneful lay, Lull with Amelia's liquid name the nine, And sweetly flow through all the royal line.
P. Alas! few verses touch their nicer ear; They scarce can bear their laureat twice a year: And justly Cæsar scorns the poet's lays; It is to history he trusts for praise.
F. Better be Cibber, I'll maintain it still, Than ridicule all taste, blaspheme quadrille, Abuse the city's best good men in metre, And laugh at peers that put their trust in Peter. Ev'n those you touch not, hate you.
P. What should ail 'em?
F. A hundred smart in Timon and in Balaam: The fewer still you name, you wound the more; Bond is but one, but Harpax is a score.
P. Each mortal has his pleasure: none deny Scarsdale his bottle, Darty his ham-pie; Ridotta sips and dances, till she see The doubling lustres dance as fast as she: Floves the senate, Hockleyhole his brother, Like in all else, as one egg to another. I love to pour out all myself, as plain As downright Shippen, or as old Montagne: In them, as certain to be lov'd as seen,
The soul stood forth, nor kept a thought within; In me what spots (for spots I have) appear, Will prove at least the medium must be clear. In this impartial glass, my muse intends Fair to expose myself, my foes, my friends; Publish the present age; but where my text Is vice too high, reserve it for the next : My foes shall wish my life a longer date, And every friend the less lament my fate. My head and heart thus flowing through my quill, Verseman or proseman, term me what you will,
Papist or Protestant, or both between, Like good Erasmus in an honest mean, In moderation placing all my glory,
While Tories call me Whig, and Whigs a Tory. Satire's my weapon, but I'm too discreet To run a-muck, and tilt at all I meet; I only wear it in a land of Hectors,
Thieves, supercargoes, sharpers, and directors. Save but our army! and let Jove incrust Swords, pikes, and guns, with everlasting rust! Peace is my dear delight--not Fleury's more: But touch me, and no minister so sore. Whoe'er offends, at some unlucky time Slides into verse, and hitches in a rhyme, Sacred to ridicule his whole life long, And the sad burthen of some merry song. Slander or poison dread from Delia's rage; Hard words or hanging, if your judge be Page. From furious Sappho scarce a milder fate, P-x'd by her love, or libell'd by her hate. Its proper power to hurt, each creature feels; Bulls aim their horns, and asses lift their heels; 'Tis a bear's talent not to kick, but hug; And no man wonders he's not stung by pug. So drink with Walters, or with Chartres eat, They'll never poison you, they'll only cheat.
Then, learned sir! (to cut the matter short) Whate'er my fate, or well or ill at court; Whether old-age, with faint but cheerful ray, Attends to gild the evening of my day, Or Death's black wing already be display'd, To wrap me in the universal shade; Whether the darken'd room to muse invite, Or whiten'd wall provoke the skewer to write: In durance, exile, Bedlam, or the Mint, Like Lee or Budgell, I will rhyme and print.
F. Alas, young man! your days can ne'er be long,
In flower of age you perish for a song!
Plums and directors, Shylock and his wife, Will club their testers, now, to take your life!
P. What? arm'd fòr virtue when I point the pen, Brand the bold front of shameless guilty men; Dash the proud gamester in his gilded car; Bare the mean heart that lurks beneath a star; Can there be wanting, to defend her cause, Lights of the church, or guardians of the laws? Could pension'd Boileau lash in honest strain Flatterers and bigots ev'n in Louis' reign? Could laureat Dryden pimp and friar engage, Yet neither Charles nor James be in a rage?. And I not strip the gilding off a knave, Unplac'd, unpension'd, no man's heir or slave? I will, or perish in the generous cause:
Hear this and tremble! you who 'scape the laws. Yes, while I live, no rich or noble knave Shall walk the world in credit to his grave: To virtue only and her friends a friend, The world beside may murmur or commend. Know, all the distant din that world can keep, Rolls o'er my grotto, and but sooths my sleep. There, my retreat the best companions grace, Chiefs out of war, and statesmen out of place. There St. John mingles with my friendly bowl The feast of reason and the flow of soul:
And he, whose lightning pierc'd th' Iberian lines, Now forms my quincunx, and now ranks my vines; Or tames the genius of the stubborn plain, Almost as quickly as he conquer'd Spain.
Envy must own I live among the great, No pimp of pleasure, and no spy of state; With eyes that pry not, tongue that ne'er repeats ; › Fond to spread friendships, but to cover heats; To help who want, to forward who excel; This, all who know me, know; who love me, tell; And who unknown defame me, let them be Scribblers or peers, alike are mob to me. This is my plea, on this I rest my cause--- What saith my counsel, learned in the laws? F. Your plea is good; but still I say, beware! Laws are explain'd by men-so have a care.
It stands on record, that in Richard's times A man was hang'd for very honest rhymes; Consult the statute, quart. I think it is, Edwardi sext. or prim. et quint. Eliz. See libels, satires-here you have it---read. P. Libels and satires! lawless things indeed! But grave epistles, bringing vice to light, Such as a king might read, a bishop write, Such as sir Robert would approve--
F. Indeed! The case is alter'd-you may then proceed; In such a case the plaintiff will be hiss'd, My lords the judges laugh, and you're dismiss'd.
WHAT, and how great, the virtue and the art
To live on little with a cheerful heart
(A doctrine sage, but truly none of mine); Let's talk, my friends, but talk before we dine. Not when a gilt buffet's reflected pride
Turns you from sound philosophy aside; Not when from plate to plate your eye-balls roll, And the brain dances to the mantling bowl.
Hear Bethel's sermon, one not vers'd in schools, But strong in sense, and wise without the rules. 'Go work, hunt, exercise,' he thus began, Then scorn a homely dinner, if you can. Your wine lock'd up, your butler stroll❜d abroad, Or fish denied (the river yet unthaw'd), If then plain bread and milk will do the feat, The pleasure lies in you, and not the meat. Preach as I please, I doubt our curious men Will choose a pheasant still before a hen;
Yet hens of Guinea full as good I hold, Except you eat the feathers green and gold. Of carps and mullets why prefer the great (Though cut in pieces ere my lord can eat), Yet for small turbots such esteem profess? Because God made these large, the other less. Oldfield, with more than harpy throat endu'd, Cries, Send me, gods! a whole hog barbecu'd !' O blast it, south-winds! till a stench exhale Rank as the ripeness of a rabbit's tail.
By what criteriou do you eat, d'ye think, If this is priz'd for sweetness, that for stink? When the tir'd glutton labours through a treat, He finds no relish in the sweetest meat; He calls for something bitter, something sour, And the rich feast concludes extremely poor: Cheap eggs, and herbs, and olives, still we see; Thus much is left of old simplicity!
The robin-red-breast till of late had rest, And children sacred held a martin's nest, Till beccaficos sold so dev'lish dear
To one that was, or would have been, a peer. Let me extol a cat on oysters fed, I'll have a party at the Bedford-head; Or ev'n to crack live crawfish recommend, I'd never doubt at court to make a friend. 'Tis yet in vain, I own, to keep a pother About one vice, and fall into the other: Between excess and famine lies a mean; Plain, but not sordid; though not splendid, clean. Avidien, or his wife (no matter which, For him you'll call a dog, and her a bitch) Sell their presented partridges and fruits, And humbly live on rabbits and on roots: One half-pint bottle serves them both to dine; And is at once their vinegar and wine. But on some lucky day (as when they found A lost bank bill, or heard their son was drown'd), At such a feast, old vinegar to spare,
Is what two souls so generous cannot bear:
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