CONTENTS

OF

THE FIRST VOLUME.

INTRODUCTORY CHAPTER.

DOCTOR JOHNSON's style of writing; its plainness, and its

sesquipedality.-What an old man loves.-How to manage your

Brains, after six and fifty.-Retired Banker, and Tallow-Chand-

ler.-A Greek Receipt paraphrastically translated.-PROSPECTUS

of my RANDOM RECORDS.-A good Reason for writing your own

Life.-Tobacco-Smoking.-King James the First.-His “Coun-

ter-Blast."-The Domine and the Boys.-Excuses on their last

legs. Letter to a Friend in Devonshire, with a SECRET pro bono

publico.
p. 1

CHAPTER SECOND.

Off I go! My Birthday, and why memorable.-A Hero.-
Prosperity of Old England, and God bless the King!-My
Father, who he was, known to every body but the Margravine
of Anspach. The Margravine, a great truth-teller, according to
King George the Third.-Her Serene Highness's errors, as a
biographer.—William Pulteney, Earl of Bath.-My Grandfather
and Grandmother.-Marylebone School.-Doctor Fountain.-

The Doctor's Wife, and her head of hair.-Her Costume, and

her Batter Puddings.-Merits and Antiquity of Pudding. -King

John's Cook, in the days of Magna Charta.-The three Misses

Fountain. Mr. Hargrave, the Chancery Barrister.-A most

detestable housemaid.-How to take physick upon a staircase.—

The Domine, and his assistants.-Marylebone parly-voo, and a

French-Yorkshire Footman.-My Vow.-My Mother.-My Mo-

ther's death.-My Perjury.

CHAPTER THIRD.

15

Marylebone Gardens.-The Sieur Torré, and his Fireworks.

-Burlettas.-The Privy Council puzzled, and Lawyers at a

loss.-Licenses now granted for what are " call'd Burlettas."-

My Father's Villa, at Richmond; his fondness for it; his pet

phrases, and my irreverence.—I go to a Play, for the first time.

-My present opinion of the trade of a Dramatist.-Theatre

upon Richmond Green.-LOVE-not the passion, but the mana-

ger.-Dodd, and his chére amie.-Westminster School.-Queen

Elizabeth; Doctor Busby.-Doctors Smith and Vincent.-When

to flog, and not to flog; and how far a Pedagogue is privileged

as to castigation.-Gerrard Andrews.-Hayes.-Latin Epilogues,

and their style of wit.-Vincent Bourne's Poematia.-The

immorality of Terence's Plays.-Lord Colchester (late Speaker

of the House of Commons) an excellent Thais.-One thing

which should be abolish'd at Westminster, and another at Eton.-

Doubts upon fagging.—Publick and Private Education cursorily

consider'd, and the bore of treatises upon this subject.-Jones's

Boarding-House, afterwards Mother Clapham's; and the Boys

there, who have since become conspicuous Men.-I am drown'd.

-Taken out of the Thames by my young friend George Crans-

toun.-Brought to life by Dicky Roberts.-Peculiar mode of

Resuscitation. A School-boy's grief for the loss of his Father.-

Partnership in a Phaeton.-A Pancake, and a Pun.-Tipcat Jack-

son, the Baker of the Bowling-Alley. His poetical Votum.

-

46.

CHAPTER FOURTH.

The Currency of Silly Sayings.-Holidays out of number.--

The Saints detrimental to Learning.-Frequent Visits to my

Home. My preference of Modern Wits to the Ancient Classicks.

—The famed LITERARY CLUB; showing how it bullied the

Town, and how it was bullied by its leading Member.-Richard

Brinsley Sheridan in peril of being condemn'd for life as a

Blockhead!-Society's Emancipation from Literary Despotism.-

"MARCH OF INTELLECT, and the " SPREAD OF Knowledge;"

and the dangers and absurdities of them.-Boswell's list of the

Literary Club deficient.-The well-known Poem of "Retalia-

tion."-Caleb Whitefoord, Lord Kellie, and Sir Thomas Mills.—

My Introduction to Doctor Johnson, and his brutality.-My ill

behaviour to Doctor Goldsmith, and his good-nature.-My very

early intimacy with Goldsmith, and his death.-Foote, and his

mode of joking with me;-his paradoxical celebrity on the stage;

his Dress'd Leg, and his Undress'd Leg.-Powell's pony.-

Failure of my first attempt as an equestrian.-Old and dear

Friends.-Garrick, and our Game at Ninepins together, in my

fourth year. My frequent visits to him at Hampton.-His

monkey tricks, and acting.-My recollections of his Stage-per-

formances; the powers of his eye, and the power of subduing

those powers;
his vanity, and artificial character. - Gibbon,

and his notice of me.— Gibbon and Johnson compared.—Sheridan,

-Lord Erskine,—Jekyll.

CHAPTER FIFTH.

91

Two Excursions to Bath.-Dancing at the Upper Rooms.-
Tom Storer.-Macaronies.-Prologue upon Publick Masque-
rades. Tour to the North.-Oxford.-A bad Inn. My Father's
Predilections.-Jackson, the Oxford Printer." The Connois-
seur."-My Father and Bonnell Thornton.-Thornton's Oddities,
Indolence, Intemperance, and Death.-Woodstock.-Fair Rosa-

mond, Chaucer, and Marlborough.-Castleton.-The Devil, and

the Peak. I am nearly Burnt to Death in the Water.-Tragi-

Comedy. An escape, all at once, from burning, drowning, hang-

ing, and shooting.-HIS LATE ROYAL HIGHNESS, THE DUKE

OF YORK.-Progress further North.-A travelling Party of Six ;

Captain Phipps, (afterwards Lord Mulgrave,) Sir Joseph Banks,

Omai, (the South-Sea Islander,) Augustus Phipps, (a boy,) my

Father, and Myself.-Oberea, Queen of Otaheite; and Sir Joseph

Banks "a gay deceiver."-Coach with curious appendages, and

heavily laden.-Botanizing, and Frog-swallowing.-Peep at the

German Ocean.-Mistaken notions of the Sea.-Scarborough.—

My Voyage of Three-Quarters of an Hour.-Whitby.-The Up-

Gang.-Apprehensions of a Coach-Wreck.-Quicksands.-Arri-

val at Mulgrave.

128

CHAPTER SIXTH.

Mulgrave Castle in the reign of Richard the Second.-Anecdote
of John Sheffield, Duke of Buckingham.-Mulgrave as it was,
and as it is, and a leap from one Century into another, and back
again.-Fat Friar Bacon.-An Address (in verse) to the year
1819, written in an Album.-Rural Sports of a new order.-Omai
and his Gun.-His descent upon a Partridge, seizure of a Horse,
and respect for a Bull.-Alum Works.-Story of a Scotchman's
tumble out of Window.-Botanical Researches, and Sir Joseph
cutteth up a Cauliflower.-TUMULI, or Barrows, and Grand Mus-
ter on opening one of them.-Dinner under a Tent.--Field Cook-
ery. A barbicued Hog.-Otaheitan Cuisine.-Nothing filthier
than a roasted Sea-Gull.-Old Coins, and my want of talent as
a Collector of any coin.-Languages, and the Hamiltonian
System forestall'd by Omai and myself.-Crazy Castle, and Crazy
Hall. Kirkleatham.-The two last Sirs Charles Turner, father
and son.-Anecdote of Captain Cook's Father.-False Logick,
as to the safety of fording a river.-Cocken Hall, and family party

there.-Captain Peter.-Coal-waggon roads near Newcastle, and

practical refutation of two Sayings.-Ruins of Finchal Abbey.-

Saint Godrick a Devil of a Saint!-Catholick Question.-Return

southward.-Raby Castle; discomforts on the road thither, and

sudden transition from disagreeables to luxury.-Canal-Works

near Manchester; Liverpool Docks.-Soho near Birmingham.-

Cheapness of Travelling.-My return to Westminster.

CHAPTER SEVENTH.

169

Little to say about 1776.-America, and Lord North.-His

Lordship's amiable Private Character.-Two Anecdotes relative

to him.-The Duchess of Kingston convicted of Bigamy.-School-

boys' expectation of her Corporal Punishment.—Garrick quits

the Stage. His Farewell Address, and the affectation of it.-The

Machinist, and the Elephant.-My Father commences (in the year

1777) his Lease of Foote's Theatrical Patent.-Terms of the Lease,

and State of the Theatre.-Foote's blundering with the Lessee.-

I obtain the entrée of the Hay-Market Green-Room.-Effects of

this privilege.—Enlarged Plan of Theatricals in the Hay-Market,

and List of the New Company of Performers.-John Palmer,

Parsons, Charles Bannister, and other Performers.-Miss Barsanti,

&c.-Henderson, Edwin, and Miss Farren.-Foote's Jealousies,

and Sarcasms.—The Spanish Barber, and Cato.-Digges and

his old-fashion'd Merit.-Mrs. Massey and Blissett.-Monsieur

Georgi's infantile Corps de Ballet.-Private Theatricals.-Wynn-

stay at Christmas.-The late Sir Watkin Williams Wynn's

hospitalities.-The Acting and Festivities at his Mansion in Den-

bighshire. Return to Town.-My Entrance at Christ Church,

Oxford, in the year 1779.

CHAPTER EIGHTH.

217

How to make a man in half an hour;-Oxford;-I am matri-
culated. My ignorance of Latin Orthography;-My coxcombry
in dress, and my unstatutable appearance.-The Precocity of