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Thou art, indeed, the drug a gardner wants,
To poison vermin that infest his plants ;
But are we so to wit and beauty blind,
As to despise the glory of our kind,
And show the softest minds and fairest forms
As little mercy as he grubs and worms?
They dare not wait the riotous abuse,
Thy thirst-creating steams at length produce,
When wine has given indecent language birth,
And forc'd the flood-gates of licentious mirth;
For sea-born Venus her attachment shows,
Still to that element from which she rose,
And with a quiet, which no fumes disturb,
Sips meek infusions of a milder herb.

Th' emphatic speaker dearly loves t'oppose,
In contact inconvenient, nose to nose,
Is if the gnomon on his neighbour's phiz,
Touch'd with a magnet, had attracted his.
His whisper'd theme, dilated, and at large,
Proves after all a wind-gun's airy charge,
An extract of his diary-no more,
A tasteless journal of the day before.
He walk'd abroad, o'ertaken in the rain
Callid on a friend, drank tea, stept home again,
Resum'd his

purpose,

had a world of talk With one he stumbled on, and lost his walk. I interrupt him with a sudden bow, Adieu, dear Sir ! lest you should lose it now.

I cannot talk with civet in the room, A fine puss-gentleman that's all perfume ;

The sight's enough-no need to smell a beau-
Who thrusts his nose into a raree-show;
His odoriferous attempts to please
Perhaps might prosper with a swarm of bees ;
But we, that make no honey, though we sting,
Poets, are sometimes apt to maul the thing.
'Tis wrong to bring into a mix'd resort,
What makes some sick, and others a-la-mort ;
An argument of cogence, we may say,
Why such an one should keep himself away.

A

graver coxcomb we may sometimes see, Quite as absurd, though not so light as he : A shallow brain behind a serious mask, An oracle within an empty cask, The solemn fop; significant and budge; A fool with judges, amongst fools a judge. He says but little, and that little said Owes all its weight, like loaded dice, to lead. His wit invites you by his looks to come, But when you knock

never is at home : "I'is like a parcel sent you by the stage, Some handsome present, as your hopes presage ; 'Tis heavy, bulky, and bids fair to prove An absent friend's fidelity and love, But when unpack'd your disappointment groans, To find it stuff'd with brick-bats, earth, and stones,

Some men employ their health, an ugly trick, In making known how oft they have been sick,

VOL. I.

And give us, in recitals of disease,
A doctor's trouble, but without the fees;
Relate how many weeks they kept their bed,
How an emetic or cathartic sped ;
Nothing is slightly touch'd, much less forgot,
Nose, ears,

and eyes, seem present on the spot.
Now the distemper, spite of draught or pill,
Victorious seem'd, and now the doctor's skill ;
And now-alas, for unforeseen mishaps !
They put on a damp night-cap and relapse;
They thought they must have died they were so bad
Their peevish hearers almost wish they had.

Some fretful tempers wince at every touch, You always do too little or too much ; You speak with life, in hopes to entertain, Your elevated voice goes through the brain ; You fall at once into a lower key, That's worse--the drone-pipe of a humble-bee. The southern sash admits too strong a light, You rise and drop the curtain--now it's night. He shakes with cold-you stir the fire and strive To make a blaze-that's roasting him alive. Serve him with venison, and he chooses fish; With soal—that's just the sort he would not wish. He takes what he at first profess'd to loath, And in due time feeds heartily on both ; Yet still, o'erclouded with a constant frown, He does not swallow, but he gulps it down. Your hope to please him, vain on every plan, Himself should ork that wonder, if he can

Affords a plea, allowable or just,
For making speech the pamperer of lust ;
But, when the breath of age commits the fault,
'Tis nauseous as the vapour of a vault.
So wither'd stumps disgrace the sylvan scene,
No longer fruitful, and no longer green ;
The sapless wood, divested of the bark,
Grows fungous, and takes fire at every spark.

Oaths terminate, as Paul observes, all strife
Some men have surely then a peaceful life !
Whatever subject occupy discourse,
The feats of Vestris, or the naval force,
Asseveration, blustering in your face,
Makes contradiction such a hopeless case :
In every tale they tell, or false or true,
Well known, or such as no man ever knew,
They fix attention, heedless of your pain,
With oaths, like rivets, forc'd into the brain ;
And e’en when sober truth prevails throughout,
They swear it, till affirmance breeds a doubt.
A Persian, humble servant of the sun,
Who, though devout, yet bigotry had none,
Hearing a lawyer grave in his address,
With adjurations every word impress,
Suppos’d the man a bishop, or at least,
God's name so much upon his lips, a priest ;,
Bow'd at the close with all his graceful airs,
And begg's an interest in his frequent prayers.
Go, quit the rank to which ye stood preferr'd,
Henceforth associate in one common herd;
Religion, virtue, reason, common sense,
Pronounce your human form a false pretence ;
A mere disguise, in which a devil lurks,
Who yet betrays his secret by his works.

Ye powers who rule the tongue, if such there are, And make colloquial happiness your care, Preserve me from the thing I dread and hate A duel in the form of a debate. The clash of arguments and jar of words, Worse than the mortal brunt of rival swords, Decide no question with their tedious length, (For opposition gives opinion strength) Divert the champions, prodigal of breath, And put the peaceably.dispos’d to death. Oh, thwart me not, Sir Soph, at every turn, Nor carp at every flaw you may discern ; Though syllogisms hang not on my tongue, I am not surely always in the wrong! "Tis hard, if all is false that I advance A fool must now and then be right by chance. Not that all freedom of dissent I blame ; No-there I grant the privilege I claim. A disputable point is no man's ground; Rove where you please, 'tis common all around. Discourse may want an animated No, To brush the surface, and to make it flow ; But still remember, if you mean to please, To press your point with modesty and casa

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