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Water, generally known by the soothing name of Hysteric Water; because it was a lure to the female sex to dram it by authority, and to get tipsy secundùm

artem.

If any of my fair readers have at all given into this pernicious practice of dram-drinking, I must intreat them to leave it off betimes, before it has taken such hold of them, as they can never shake off. For the desire of drams steals upon them, and grows to be habitual, by imperceptible degrees: as those who are accustomed to take opiates, are obliged to encrease the dose gradually, and at last cannot sleep without it. The following letter may serve to convince them of the deplorable situation of a lady, who covers her drinking under the pretence of mending her constitution.

SIR,

TO MR. TOWN.

I HAVE the misfortune to be married to a poor sickly creature, who labours under a complication of disorders, and which nothing can relieve but a continued course of strong liquors; though, poor woman! she would not else touch a dram for the world. Sometimes she is violently troubled with the tooth-ach, and then she is obliged to hold a glass of rum in her mouth, to numb the pain at other times she is seized with a racking fit of the cholic, and nothing will so soon give her ease as some right Holland's gin. She has the gout in her constitution; and whenever she feels a twitch of it, the only thing is sheer brandy to keep it from her head but this is sometimes too cold for her, and she is forced to drive it out of her stomach with true Irish

usquebaugh. She is never free from the vapours, notwithstanding she is continually drinking hartshorn and water: and ever since she miscarried, she is so hysterical in the night time, that she never lies with

out a cordial-water bottle by her bedside. I have paid the apothecary above fifty pounds for her in one year; and his bill is laced down with nothing but drops, pepper-mint water, and the cordial draught repeated.

Her very diet must always be made heartening, otherwise it will do her no good. Tea would make her low-spirited, except she was to qualify every dish with a large spoonful of rum. She has a glass of

mountain with bitters an hour before dinner to create an appetite; and her stomach is so poor, that when she is at table, she must force every bit down with a glass of Madeira. We usually have a tiff of punch together in the evening; but the acid would gripe her, and the water keep her awake all the night, if it was not made comfortable with more than an equal portion of spirit.

But notwithstanding the grievous complaints she hourly labours under, she is very hale; and her complexion is, to all appearance, as healthy and florid as a milk-maid's: except, indeed, that her nose and forehead are subject to red pimples, blotches, and breakings out, which the apothecary tells me are owing to a kind of a phlogistic humour in her blood. For my part, considering the quantity of combustibles she continually pours down, I should imagine the fire in her stomach would kindle a flame in her countenance; and I should not wonder, if she looked as horrible, as those who hang their face over a bowl of Burnt Brandy at snap-dragon,

T.

I am, Sir, your humble servant,

TIMOTHY NOGgan.

N° 54. THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 6, 1755.

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Frolicks, for men of spirit only fit,

Where rapes are jests, and murder is sheer wit.

THE noblest exploit of a man of the town, the highest proof and utmost effort of his genius and pleasantry, is the frolick. This piece of humour consists in playing the most wild and extravagant pranks, that wantonness and debauchery can suggest; and is the distinguishing characteristic of the buck and blood. These facetious gentlemen, whenever champagne has put them in spirits, sally out" flown with insolence and wine" in quest of adventures. At such a time the more harm they do the more they shew their wit; and their frolicks, like the mirth of a monkey, are made up of mischief.

S

The frolick formerly signified nothing more than a piece of innocent mirth and gayety: but the modern sense of the word is much more lively and pirited. The Mohocks and the members of the Hell-Fire-Club, the heroes of the last generation, were the first who introduced these elevated frolicks, and struck out mighty good jokes from all kinds of violence and blasphemy. The present race of bucks commonly begin their frolick in a tavern, and end it in the roundhouse; and during the course of it practise several mighty pretty pleasantries. There is a great deal of humour in what is called beating the rounds, that is in

plain English, taking a tour of the principal bawdyhouses; breaking of lamps and skirmishes with watchmen are very good jests; and the insulting any dull sober fools, that are quietly trudging about their business, or a rape on a modest woman, are particularly facetious. Whatever is in violation of all decency and order is an exquisite piece of wit; and in short, a frolick and playing the devil bear the same explanation in a modern glossary.

It is surprising how much invention there is in these exploits, and how wine inspires these gentlemen with thoughts more extraordinary and sublime, than any sober man could ever have devised. I have known a whole company start from their chairs, and begin tilting at each other merely for their diversion. Another time these exalted geniuses have cast lots, which should be thrown out of the window; and at another, make a bonfire of their clothes, and run naked into the streets. I remember a little gentleman not above five feet high, who was resolved, merely for the sake of the frolick, to lie with the tall woman; but the joke ended in his receiving a sound cudgelling from the hands of his Thalestris. It was no longer ago than last winter that a party of jovial Templars set out an hour or two after midnight on a voyage to Lisbon, in order to get good Port. They took boat at Temple stairs, and prudently laid in by way of provisions a cold venison pasty and two bottles of rasberry brandy: but when they imagined themselves just arrived at Gravesend, they found themselves suddenly overset in ChelseaReach, and very narrowly escaped being drowned. The most innocent frolicks of these men of humour are carried on in a literary way by advertisements in the news-papers, with which they often amuse the town; and alarm us with bottle conjurers, and persons who will jump down their own throats. Sometimes they divert themselves by imposing on their acquaintance with

fictious intrigues, and putting modest women to the blush by describing them in the public papers. Once, I remember, it was the frolick to call together all the wet nurses, that wanted a place; at another time, to summon several old women to bring their male tabby cats, for which they were to expect a considerable price; and not long ago, by the proffer of a curacy they drew all the poor parsons to St. Paul's coffeehouse, where the bucks themselves sat in another box to smoke their rusty wigs and brown cassocks.

But the highest frolick, that can possibly be put in execution, is a genteel murder; such as running a waiter through the body, knocking an old feeble watchman's brains out with his own staff, or taking away the life of some regular scoundrel, who has not spirit enough to whore and drink like a gentleman. The noblest frolick of this kind I ever remember, happened a few years ago at a country town. While a party of bucks were making a riot at an inn, and tossing the chairs and tables and looking-glasses into the street, the landlady was indiscreet enough to come up stairs, and interrupt their merriment with her impertinent remonstrances; upon which they immediately threw her out of the window after her own furniture. News was soon brought of the poor woman's death, and the whole company looked upon it as a very droll accident, and gave orders that she should be charged in the bill.

These wild pranks are instances of great spirit and invention: but alas! the generality of mankind have no taste for humour. Few people care to have a sword in their ribs for the sake of the joke, or to be beat to mummy, or shot through the head, for the diversion of the good company. They sometimes imagine the jest is carried too far, and are apt to apply the words of the old fable," it may be sport to you, but it is death to us.' For these reasons, a set of these merry

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