six months after his marriage, before he took a girl he was formerly acquainted with, into keeping. His dear Polly uses him like a dog; and he is cruel enough to revenge the ill-treatment he receives from her, upon his wife. He seldom visits her, but when his wench has put him out of humour; and once, though indeed unknowingly, communicated to her a filthy disease, for which he was obliged to his mistress. Yet is be still so infatuated as to doat on this vile hussy, and wishes it in his power to annul his marriage, and legitimate his bastards by Polly. Though it is palpable to every one but Cynthio, that Polly has no attraction but the name of mistress, and Clarinda no fault but being his wife.

Sir Thrifty Gripe is arrived at his grand climacteric, and has just taken a girl into keeping. Until very lately the multiplication-table was his rule of life, and "a penny saved is a penny got" was his favourite maxim. But he has suddenly deserted Wingate for Rochester, and the 'Change for Covent-Garden. Here he met with the buxom Charlotte, who at once opened his heart and his purse, and soon began.to scatter his guineas in paying her debts, and supplying her fresh expences. Her equipage is as gentec! and elegant as that of a duchess; and the wise men in the Alley shake their heads at Sir Thrifty, as the greatest spendthrift in town. Sir Thrifty was formerly married to a merchant's daughter, who brought him a fortune of 20,0001. but after she had two sons by him, he sent her into the north of Wales to live cheap, and prevent the probable expence of more children. His sons were obliged to an uncle for education; and Sir Thrifty now scarce allows them enough to support them. His mistress and he almost always appear together at public places, where she constantly makes a jest of him, while the old dotard dangles at her elbow, like January by the side of May. Thus

Sir Thrifty lives, cursed by his own sons, jilted by his mistress, and laughed at by the rest of the world.

It is very diverting to observe the shifts, to which persons in middling or low life are reduced, in order to bear this new incumbrance, with which they sometimes chuse to load themselves. The extravagance of a girl has put many a clerk on defrauding his master, sent many a distressed gentleman's watch to the pawnbroker's, and his cloaths to Monmouth-Street, as well as the poor gentleman himself to the gamingtable, or perhaps to Hounslow-Heath. I know a templar, who always keeps a girl for the first month after he receives his allowance; at the end of which his poverty obliges him to discard her, and live on mutton-chops and porter for the rest of the quarter: and it was but lately, that my mercer discovered his apprentice, to be concerned with two others in an association, for maintaining one trull common to the whole three.

This review of one of the chief sources of extravagance, in the higher and middling walks of life, will help us to account for the frequent mortgages and distresses in families of fashion, and the numerous bankruptcies in trade. Here also I cannot help observing, that in this case, the mis-behaviour of the women is, in a great measure, to be charged to the men: for how can it be expected, that a lady should take any pleasure in discharging the domestic duties of a wife, when she sees her husband's affections placed abroad? Nothing, indeed, can be advanced in vindication of loose conduct in the fair sex ; but considering our modern morals, it is surely not much to be wondered at, when the husband openly affronts his family by keeping a wench, if the wife also takes care to provide herself a gallant.

No. LII. THURSDAY, JANUARY 23.

Quem si puellarum insereres choro,

Mire sagaces fallaret hospites
Discrimen obscurum, solutis
Crinibus, ambiguoque vultu.

In form so delicate, so soft his skin,

HOR.

So fair in feature, and so smooth his chin,

Quite to unman him nothing wants but this;
Put him in coats, and he's a very miss.

........Non illa collo calathisve Minervæ
Fæmineas assueta manus.......

See the she-rake her softer sex disown:

The breeches more become her than the gown.

VIRG.

I AM persuaded, that my readers will agree with me in thinking, that the writers of the following letters ought to change cloaths; since, as the case stands at present, the one seems to be a pretty Miss in breeches, and the other a blood in petticoats.

To Mr. Town.

SIR, ROCKS, deserts, wilds, wastes, savages, and barbarians, make up the sum total of the odious country. I am just returned from a visit there; and would not pass another three weeks in the same way to be lord of the manor.

Having received frequent invitations from Sir Sampson Five-bars, and having heard much of the beauty of his three sisters, in an evil hour I took a resolution to sacrifice this Christmas to him at his seat in Wiltshire. I flattered myself with the hopes, that the novelty and oddness of the scene would serve me at least to laugh at; and that if the rustics were

not mere stocks and stones, my cloaths and discourse would have taught them to talk and dress like human creatures. Need I tell you, that I was disappointed? Sir Sampson is what the country people call an hearty man: he has the shape and constitution of a porter, and is sturdy enough to encounter Broughton without mufflers; "when he speaks, thunder breaks;" he hunts almost every morning, and takes a toast and tankard for his breakfast. You may easily imagine, that what was pleasure to him must be torture to me; and, indeed, I would as soon draw in a mill, or carry a chair for my diversion, as follow any of their horrid country amusements. But Sir Sampson, out of his abundant good-nature, insisted on lending me a gun, and shewing me a day's sport of shooting. For this purpose he loaded me with an huge gun, threw a bag and pouch across my shoulders, and made me look for all the world like Robinson Crusoe ! After I had

followed him, through woods and thickets, and briars and brambles, a servant, who was with us, hollowed out, mark! when the baronet's gun went off so suddenly, that it threw me into a swoon; and at last I could hardly be convinced that Sir Sampson had shot nothing but a woodcock.

After this you will conclude, that I was not to be prevailed on to hunt. Once, indeed, Miss Fanny did tempt me to accompany her on a morning-ride; but even this I heartily repented. Miss Fanny, I found, valued neither hedge nor ditch, has the strength of a chair-woman, and in short, is more like Trulla in Hudibras, or Boadicea in the play, than a woman of fashion. Unluckily too, the horse I rode was skittish and unruly; so that while I was scampering after Miss Fanny, a sudden start brought me to the ground. I received no hurt, but the fall so fluttered my spirits, that Miss Fanny was obliged to take me up behind her. When we arrived at the house, I was in the ut

most confusion; for the booby servants stood gaping and grinning at my distress; and Sir Sampson himself told me, with a laugh as horrible as Caliban's, that he would lend me one of his maids, to carry me out an airing every morning.

Besides these and fifty other mortifications, I could scarce get any rest during the whole time I remained there: every other morning I was constantly waked by the hungry knight, just returned from the chace, and bawling for dinner. My breakfast was what they called their afternoon tea, at which I always assisted the ladies; for I should infallibly have perished, had I staid in the hall, amidst the jargon of toasts and the fumes of tobacco. I thought, indeed, my time might be much more agreeably employed in the parlour; but even here my disappointment was grievous past expression. These fair ones, for such they were, were hale indeed and ruddy; and having been always cooped up, like turkeys in a pen, were really no better than belles sauvages, being totally ignorant of the genteel airs and languishing delicatesse of women of fashion. Their cloaths were huddled on merely with a view to cover their nakedness; and they had no notion that their eyes were given them for any other purpose than to see, and (what is more strange) to read, forsooth! For my part, Mr. Town. unless a woman can use her eyes to more advantage, I should as soon fall in love with my lap-dog or my monkey; and what constitutes the difference between a lady and her cook-maid, but her taste in dress? Mobs and handkerchiefs answer the end of covering, but the main purpose of dress is to reveal. I really almost begin to think, that these awkward creatures were so stupid and unaccountable, as to have no design upon me. To complete the oddity of their characters, these girls are constant at church, but never dreamed of promoting an intrigue there; employ their whole time there