THE WIFE OF BATH.

FROM CHAUCER.

BEHOLD the woes of matrimonial life,
And hear with rev'rence an experienc'd wife!
To dear-bought wisdom give the credit due,
And think, for once, a woman tells you true.
In all these trials I have borne a part,

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I was myself the scourge that caus'd the smart:
For since fifteen, in triumph have I led
Five captive husbands from the church to bed.
Christ saw a wedding once, the Scripture says,
And saw but one, 'tis thought, in all his days; 10
Whence some infer, whose conscience is too nice,
No pious Christian ought to marry twice.

But let them read, and solve me, if they can,
The words address'd to the Samaritan:
Five times in lawful wedlock she was join'd:
And sure the certain stint was ne'er defin'd.

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"Increase and multiply," was Heav'n's command,

And that's a text I clearly understand.

This too, "Let men their sires and mothers leave,
And to their dearer wives for ever cleave."

More wives than one by Solomon were try'd,
Or else the wisest of mankind's bely'd.

I've had myself full many a merry

fit;

And trust in Heav'n I may have many yet.

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For when my transitory spouse, unkind,

Shall die, and leave his woful wife behind,

I'll take the next good Christian I can find.

Paul, knowing one could never serve our turn, Declar'd 'twas better far to wed than burn.

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There's danger in assembling fire and tow ;

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I grant 'em that, and what it means you know.
The same apostle too has elsewhere own'd,
No precept for virginity he found:

"Tis but a counsel-and we women still

Take which we like, the counsel, or our will.

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I envy not their bliss, if he or she

Think fit to live in perfect chastity;

Pure let them be, and free from taint or vice;
I, for a few slight spots, am not so nice.

Heav'n calls us diff'rent ways, on these bestows 40
One proper gift, another grants to those:
Not every man's oblig❜d to sell his store,
And give up all his substance to the poor;
Such as are perfect, may, I can't deny :
But, by your leaves, divines, so am not I.

Full many a saint, since first the world began,
Liv'd an unspotted maid, in spite of man :
Let such (a God's name) with fine wheat be fed,
And let us honest wives eat barley-bread.

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For me, I'll keep the post assign'd by Heav'n, 50
And use the copious talent it has giv'n:

Let my good spouse pay tribute, do me right,
And keep an equal reck'ning ev'ry night:
His proper body is not his, but mine;

For so said Paul, and Paul's a sound divine.

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Know then, of those five husbands I have had, Three were just tolerable, two were bad.

The three were old, but rich and fond beside,
And toil'd most piteously to please their bride: 59
But since their wealth (the best they had) was mine,
The rest, without much loss, I could resign.
Sure to be lov'd I took no pains to please,
Yet had more Pleasure far than they had Ease.
Presents flow'd in apace: with show'rs of gold,
They made their court, like Jupiter of old.
If I but smil'd, a sudden youth they found,
And a new palsy seiz'd them when I frown'd.
Ye sov'reign wives! give ear, and understand,
Thus shall ye speak, and exercise command.
For never was it giv'n to mortal man,

To lie so boldly as we women can:

Forswear the fact, tho' seen with both his eyes,
And call your maids to witness how he lies.

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Hark, old Sir Paul! ('twas thus I us'd to say) Whence is our neighbour's wife so rich and gay? 75 Treated, caress'd where'er she's pleas'd to roam— I sit in tatters, and immur'd at home.

Why to her house dost thou so oft repair?

Art thou so am'rous? and is she so fair?

If I but see a cousin or a friend,

Lord! how you swell, and rage like any fiend!
But you reel home, a drunken beastly bear,
Then preach till midnight in your easy chair;
Cry, Wives are false, and every woman evil,
And give up all that's female to the devil.

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If poor (you say), she drains her husband's purse; If rich, she keeps her priest, or something worse;

If highly born, intolerably vain,

Vapours and pride by turns possess her brain,
Now gaily mad, now sourly splenetic,
Freakish when well, and fretful when she's sick.
If fair, then chaste she cannot long abide,
By pressing youth attack'd on ev'ry side:
If foul, her wealth the lusty lover lures,
Or else her wit some fool-gallant procures,
Or else she dances with becoming grace,
Or shape excuses the defects of face.
There swims no goose so gray, but soon or late,
She finds some honest gander for her mate.

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Horses (thou say'st) and asses men may try, 100 And ring suspected vessels ere they buy : But wives, a random choice, untry'd they take, They dream in courtship, but in wedlock wake; Then, nor till then, the veil's remov'd away, And all the woman glares in open day.

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You tell me, to preserve your wife's good grace, Your eyes must always languish on my face, Your tongue with constant flatt'ries feed my ear, And tag each sentence with, My life! my dear! If by strange chance a modest blush be rais'd, 110 Be sure my fine complexion must be prais'd. My garments always must be new and gay, And feasts still kept upon my wedding-day. Then must my nurse be pleas'd, and fav'rite maid; And endless treats, and endless visits paid, To a long train of kindred friends, allies; All this thou say'st, and all thou say'st, are lies. On Jenkin too you cast a squinting eye : What! can your 'prentice raise your jealousy?

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Fresh are his ruddy cheeks, his forehead fair, 120
And like the burnish'd gold his curling hair.
But clear thy wrinkled brow, and quit thy sorrow,
I'd scorn your 'prentice, should you die to-morrow.
Why are thy chests all lock'd? on what design?
Are not thy worldly goods and treasure mine? 125
Sir, I'm no fool; nor shall you, by St. John,
Have goods and body to yourself alone.
One you shall quit, in spite of both your eyes—
I heed not, I, the bolts, the locks, the spies.

If you
had wit, you'd say, "Go where you will, 130
Dear spouse, I credit not the tales they tell :
Take all the freedoms of a marry'd life;

I know thee for a virtuous, faithful wife."

Lord! when you have enough, what need you care How merrily soever others fare?

Tho' all the day I give and take delight,

Doubt not, sufficient will be left at night. 'Tis but a just and rational desire,

To light a taper at a neighbour's fire.

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There's danger too, you think, in rich array, 140
And none can long be modest that are gay:
The Cat, if you but singe her tabby skin,
The chimney keeps, and sits content within ;
But once grown sleek, will from her corner run,
Sport with her tail and wanton in the sun!
She licks her fair round face, and frisks abroad,
To shew her fur, and to be catterwaw'd.

Lo thus, my friends, I wrought to my desires
These three right ancient venerable sires.
I told 'em, Thus you say, and thus you do,
And told 'em false, but Jenkin swore 'twas true.

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