sailors, who have the happiness to launch forth with a genteel and liberal education, not to suffer every trace of it to be washed away, like words written on the sands; but that, when they return from sea, they may be fit to be admitted at St. James's, as well as at Wapping or Rotherhithe.

Before I conclude, I must beg leave to say a word or two concerning our sea-chaplains. The common sailors are known to have, when on board, a very serious regard for religion: and their decent behaviour at prayers, and sedate attention to the sermon upon quarter-deck, might shame a more polite audience at St. James's Church. For this reason a truly religious chaplain, of good morals and sober conversation, will necessarily have as much influence on their behaviour, as a mild and prudent commander. Nor can a clergyman be too circumspect in this point; since, if he does not act in every respect conformable to his function, his place might be as well supplied by any one of the unbeneficed doctors of the Fleet. In a word, if a chaplain will so far divest himself of his sacred character, as to drink, swear, and behave in every respect like a common sailor, he should be obliged to work in the gang-way all the rest of the week, and on Sundays be invested with a jacket and trowsers instead of his canonicals.

I am, Sir, your humble servant,
T. FORE-CASTLE,

N° 85. THURSDAY, SEPT. 11, 1754.

So

- Animorum

Impulsu, et cæcâ magnâque cupidine.

HOR.

As the frail dame now love, now reason guides,
The magic mixture rises or subsides.

long ago as my fourth number (the reader perhaps may not remember) I made mention of a female thermometer, constructed by my ingenious friend Mr. James Ayscough, optician, on Ludgate-hill; and I then informed the public, that "the liquor contained within the tube was a chemical mixture, which being acted upon by the circulation of the blood and animal spirits, would rise and fall according to the desires and affections of the wearer." But I have now the further satisfaction to acquaint my fair readers, that after several repeated trials and improvements we have at length brought the instrument to so great a degree of perfection, that any common by-stander may, by a proper application of it, know the exact temperature of a lady's passions. The liquor, among other secret ingrediments, is distilled secundùm artem from the herbs lady's love and maiden hair, the wax of virgin-bees, and the five greater hot and cold seeds: and the properties of it are so subtle and penetrating, that immediately on it's coming within the atmosphere of a lady's affections, it is actuated by them in the same manner, as the spirits are by the impulse of the air in the common thermometer.

It was not without some difficulty, that we could

settle the different degrees of heat and cold in a lady's desires, which it would be proper to delineate on our thermometer: but at last we found, that the whole scale of female characters might be reduced to one or other of the following; viz.

From these degrees, which we have accurately marked on the side of the tube, we have been able to judge of the characters of several ladies, on whom we have made the experiment. In some of these we have found the gradations very sudden; and that the liquor has risen very fast from the lowest point to the highest. We could likewise discover, that it was differently affected according to the different station and quality of the subject; so that the same actions, which in a lady of fashion scarce raised the liquor beyond indiscretions, in another caused it to mount almost to impudence. Much also depended upon the air and temperature of the place, where we made our trials: and even the dress had some influence on our thermometer: as we frequently observed, that the rise and fall of the liquop in the tube bore an exact proportion to the rise anr fall of the stays and petticoat.

I shall now proceed to give a succinct account of the many repeated experiments, which we have made on different subjects in different places. During the winter season we had frequent opportunities of trying the effects, which the playhouse, the opera, and other places of diversion might have on the thermometer.

At the playhouse we always found the liquor rise in proportion, as the drama was more or less indecent or

immoral: at some comedies, and particularly the Chances, it's elevation kept pace exactly with the lusciousness of the dialogue and the ripening of the plot; so that it has often happened, that with some subjects, at the opening of the play, the liquor has struggled awhile, and rose and sunk about the degrees just above modesty; before the third act it has stood suspended at the middle point between modesty and impudence; in the fourth act it has advanced as far as loose behaviour; and at the conclusion of the play it has settled at downright impudence. At public concerts, and the opera especially, we observed that the thermometer constantly kept time (if I may say so) with the music and singing; and both at the opera and the playhouse, it always regulated its motions by the dancer's heels. We have frequently made trials of our instrument at the masquerades in the Hay-market: but the temperature of that climate always proved so exceeding hot, that on the moment of our coming into the room the liquor has boiled up with a surprising effervescence to abandoned impudence.

During the summer season we have not failed to mark our observations on the company at the public gardens. Here we found, indeed, that with some raw unpolished females, who came only to eat cheese-cakes and see the cascade and fire-works, the liquor did not stir beyond modesty; with many it has crept up to indiscretions; and with some it has advanced to loose behaviour. We had no opportunity to try our thermometer in the dark walks: but with some subjects we have plainly perceived the liquor hastening up towards innocent freedoms, as they were retiring to these walks from the rest of the company; while with others, who have gone the same way, it has only continued to point (as it did at the beginning of our observations) at gallantry. One young lady in particular we could not help remarking, whom we followed into

Vauxhall, gallanted by an officer. We were glad to see, at her first going in, that the liquor, though it now and then faintly aspired towards indiscretions, still gravitated back again to modesty: after they had taken a turn or two in the walks, we perceived it fluctuating between innocent freedoms and loose behaviour: after this we lost sight of them for some time; and at the conclusion of the entertainment (as we followed them out) we could not without concern observe, that the liquor was hastily bubbling up to a degree next to impudence.

Besides the experiments on those ladies, who frequent the public places of diversion, we have been no less careful in making remarks at several private routs and assemblies. We were here at first very much surprised at the extreme degree of cold, which our thermometer seemed to indicate in several ladies, who were seated round the card-tables; as we found not the least alteration in it either from the young or old: but we at last concluded, that this was owing to their love of play, which had totally absorded all their other passions. We have, indeed, more than once perceived, that when a lady has risen from cards after so much ill luck as to have involved herself in a debt of honour to a gentleman, the thermometer has been surprisingly affected; and as she has been handed to her chair, we have known the liquor which before was quite stagnate, run up instantaneously to the degree of gallantry. We have also been at the trouble to try it's efficacy in the long rooms at Bath, Tunbridge, Cheltenham, &c. and we have found, that these places have brought about surprising changes in the constitutions of those sick ladies, who go thither for the benefit of the

waters.

Having this sufficiently proved the perfection of our thermometer, it only remains to acquaint my readers, that Mr. Ayscough will be ready to supply the public