The Honourable HENRY COWPER moved the Address, which was seconded by MR. MUNDELLA, new Member for Sheffield. MR. DISRAELI thought that the former had spoken with ability. Doubtless the latter thought so about himself.

Really, MR. DISRAELI and MR. GLADSTONE were so courteous and civil to one another, that Punch had better refer the universe to his Cartoon, for an idea of the impression produced upon him.

MR. WHITE asked why the Speech said nothing about Spain. MR. GLADSTONE replied, that as the work of the Spaniards was incomplete, it would have been premature to talk about it, but that they had, of course, our best sympathy. As MR. WHITE is a China merchant, it seems to Mr. Punch that the Honourable Member for Brighton might more properly have inquired why we heard nothing of the new treaty by which we are bound not to cut off an offending Chinaman's pigtail ourselves, but to remit him for Imperial justice. Some of the lesser stars blazed out a little. MR. NEWDEGATE ingeniously suggested that the reason why the Spanish revolution had not been mentioned was that it was a heavy blow and a great discouragement to the POPE, whose friends in the Government did not like to allude to the subject. Surely, MR. NEWDEGATE must have said this to oblige WHALLEY-he could not have meant such nonsense on his own account.

MR. MACFIE, Member for Leith, was pleased that Scotland was mentioned in the Speech. This was becomingly humble, as all that was said of Scotland was, that her education would bear improving. MR. M'MAHON was not pleased that there was no mention of a new Reform Bill for Ireland. What, another! Come, has not Ireland got her share of the programme for this Session?

SIR P. O'BRIEN hoped that Government would let Fenian bygones be bygones in Ireland.

MR. HADFIELD spoke ill of Bishops, and hoped that they would all be ejected from the House of Lords, their restoration to which was one of the blackest pages in history. Hereat was laughter, and the speaker then sneered at the Bishops as old tutors and schoolmasters. The venerable schismatic must have been getting crusty for want of his dinner. The House may have felt this, for the Address was instantly voted, and we were up by 7'45.

Wednesday. Symptoms that the halcyon days will not last. LORD ROBERT MONTAGUE brought in a Bill about Cattle, and MR. HEADLAM promised to defeat it if he could.

Thursday. The young DUKE OF NORFOLK, Earl of Arundel and of Surrey, Baron Fitz-Alan, Clun, Oswaldestre, and Maltravers, descendant of him of whom we have all read :

"The murdered Surrey's love, the tears of GERALDINE,"

took the oath and appeared as Hereditary Earl Marshal, Premier Duke and Earl of England.

Processions Act repealed. Whack! Your sowls to glory! Ubbubboo, &c., &c. Friday. It was announced, in both Houses, that HER MAJESTY would receive the Addresses on the following Monday. But the nation next day heard, with sorrow, that the illness of the PRINCE LEOPOLD would detain his Royal Mother at Osborne.

Two matters of different interest presented themselves in the House of Commons. A protest, raised by LORD ELCHO, and seconded by the Chief Commissioner of Works, against a useless and hideous viaduct to be raised in the rear of the beautiful Embankment; and a revelation, by MR. FOWLER, of such atrocities, perpetrated by our allies the Boers, upon the miserable Kaffirs, as may here only be alluded to. We arm the Boers, and refuse arms to the Kaffirs, so that the savage_murder of the latter is easy—and the Boers do worse than murder. It seems that we cannot interfere, but we can cease to sell guns to the Boersand this has been ordered. About as revolting a bit of detail this night, as you shall find in your Parliamentary annals, MR. PHILISTINE PHARISEE BULL.

GREEK STREET ALIAS QUEER STREET.

THE Times Correspondent at Athens lets in a startling light on the little game of the last Greek Cabinet, or rather its head, M. BULGARES. It seems that M. BULGARES came into office a year ago with a proof the cut of MR. GLADSTONE'S, in short. gramme of peace, retrenchment, and administrative reform, very much

During eight months he carried out a policy in the teeth of his proreforming nothing. gramme, blowing up the coals of war, increasing expenditure, and At last, having emptied the national till, being unable to raise a being at his wits' end-not a very long journey, M. BULGARES found penny on the security of Greek credit, and his Financial Minister himself on the horns of a dilemma, between resignation and bankruptcy. The only thing like hard cash within reach was the specie in the National Bank, and the only way to get hold of that was by blowing the trumpet of war till the Chamber voted a war contribution of a million drachmas, and gave the Minister leave to get the money whenever he could find it. And then M. BULGARES walked into the bank, and swept out its specie-drawer. Then came, in rapid succession, the Crisis, the Conference, and the Collapse. Greece is left humiliated and sulky, with its paper-currency inconvertible, its industry stagnant, and its property insecure.

Mr. Punch, on the faith of these facts, would ask leave to alter a proverb and a name. For the well-known line

"When Greek meets Greek then comes the tug of war,"

he would propose to read henceforth

"When Greek robs Greek then comes the talk of war;"

interest as to be a measure which the Commons ought first to have. A graceful announcement was made in both Houses. The QUEEN desired to receive, in Person, the Addresses in reply to the Speech from the Throne. It was stated that Her Majesty had been most anxious to open the Reformed Parliament; but, said MR. GLADSTONE, the Sovereign "had been suffering, more than usual, from severe head-ache, and to a degree which precluded the required exertion.” That simple and homely language should be felt to be appropriate, and in tone with the affectionate relations which QUEEN VICTORIA has ever held with her people.

The Constitution, however, is always remembered, and English statesmen never forget precedent. It is exceptional for the Houses to attend a monarch with addresses, unless the Speech to which they reply has been delivered in person. One exception was made after the battle of Trafalgar, and MR. GLADSTONE thought that ours was somewhat of a kindred case, "the celebration of a great and peaceful triumph, which largely extends the liberties of the people." MR. DISRAELI held it "important and desirable that some personal relations should be established between the QUEEN and the new Parliament," but desired all precaution against the establishment of a precedent. SIR LAWRENCE PALK, of East Devon, winced at MR. GLADSTONE'S mention of a triumph, and protested against any congratulation on a political" victory. Of course, in both Houses the assent to the Royal visit was unanimous.

In the Commons the Right Hon. JOHN BRIGHT gave his first Ministerial answer-it was to say that the Portpatrick lighthouse would probably extinguish its light.

Do you know what Hypothec is? Find out. Or you may save yourselves the trouble, as it is going to be abolished.

MR. FORSTER brought in his Bill for reconstituting Endowed Schools. There is also to be an Examining Council, which is to have compulsory power, and to give certificates to masters and scholars.

There will be an Irish row presently. MR. JOHNSTON, remote Tory, and the O'DONOGHUE, remote Liberal, combine to have the Party

"The New York Weekly Review, discoursing upon the Atlantic Monthly, says:

"In another part of the same maga

zine, the reader is told that whenever MR. WALT WHITMAN speaks, you hear the voice of a man.' The fact that MR. WHITMAN is a man,' ought to be pretty well understood by this time, considering the strenuous emphasis and minute particularity with which MR. WHITMAN himself has described his physical attributes, to say nothing of the stress which his critical admirers have laid upon his virility. Could it not be agreed, all round, once for all, that MR. WHITMAN is a man,' and a very large and heavy one, so that the topic may be set at rest? Its disappearance from the field of literary discussion would be a great relief. The statement that MR. WHITMAN is a poet, would still remain for controversy, and surely that is sufficiently exasperating, in view of the copious catalogues, suggestive of nothing so much as a crazy auctioneer, which MR. WHITMAN continues to publish under the name of poetry."

If the M. W. sees any more such good bits, we shall be glad to read them in its pages, which we observe have lately become replete with a serener wisdom than of yore. Perhaps RABELAIS was a little over the heads of the majority of musical folk. Still, Punch hopes it will occasionally lend the good service due from all educational journals towards demolishing Shams, whereof there is no greater than MR. WHITMAN— we say it, even at the risk of bringing on an American War.

TAR TAR.

A VERY pretty story of tarring and feathering comes by a recent Melbourne letter. A person of the name of BLACK went to survey some mining property, and was laid hold of by a gang of ruffians, who tarred him, and then coated him with "fragments of wool, straw, or whatever rubbish came to hand." But BLACK is evidently a very longheaded man, and instead of divesting himself of his uncomfortable attire he had it "taken off" by a photographer. With this negative argument in his favour he goes into court claiming two thousand pounds damages. We heartily hope he will obtain a verdict.

66 Cheer, Boys, Cheer!"

ONE of the first things the House of Commons did, was to appoint a Committee to control the arrangements of the kitchen and refreshmentrooms, and, very wisely too, to place an Alderman upon it. As another prominent member is FRENCH, and VIVIAN has a convivial sound about it, the prospects of the Parliamentary cuisine may altogether be considered good cheerful.

A FINE OPENING.

HERE's a chance! The Strand Union is prepared to give twenty pounds a year and part rations to a night nurse. Her hours are to be from seven in the evening till seven in the morning. What munificence! Almost as much as the wages of an errand boy.

THE HAIR AND MANY FRIENDS.

VICTORY! Victory! Glorious news, my Punch. Only look at this:"The great ladies of Paris have determined to abolish chignons. False hair is to be repudiated, and women are to appear as if they dressed their own hair. In the daytime the hair is to be simply plaited and confined in a net. In the evening it will only be needful to put on the head a crown, or a wreath of roses or ivy, or some other creeping plant."

A bas les chignons! be our battle-cry in England, now that Common Sense has won the fight in France. What great ladies do the less are sure to imitate. No more wigs for women! No more borrowed plumes to bedizen silly jackdaws! No more piling up of Pelion on Ossa, or, as wags would say, on 'Oss hair! Ladies, for the future, or at any rate for the present, are to dress their heads au naturel, and only wear a crown, or else a wreath of roses, or some trifle of that sort. As they are to have the option, I would advise their wearing roses rather than a crown, for "uneasy lies the head that wears a crown," and only queens of fashion can be the fitting wearers of one. As for ladies wearing creepers in their hair, I see no harm in this, so long as they are only of a vegetable species. From creepers, such as gregarines and other little insects, ladies' heads will now be free, and this is more than could be said of them while chignons were in vogue. So long as these excrescences are worn, if I were a young man I should think twice before I asked a girl to give me a lock of her hair, lest I might discover it was hers by purchase only, when a microscope might show me certain little specimens of animated nature, imported possibly from Russia, and these would not increase my admiration or my love,

SIMPLE CYMON.

BALLET OF THE PERIOD.
TIME-Rehearsal.

SCENE-A Theatre.

Manager. Here, where's the fairy for the car? Who is it? Prompter. MISS MONTMORENCY, Sir, is the fairy. (To Callboy.) Call MISS MONTMORENCY. (Pause. Boy returns, and whispers Prompter.) Manager. Now then, where 's MISS

Prompter. She left about half an hour ago. She said she had waited long enough, and her brougham was there to fetch her.

Manager (growls fearfully, then inquires). Well then, DELAMEREwhere 's DELA

Prompter (apologetically). MISS DELAMERE told me, Sir, to tell you -when-that her Mother was very ill, and she was obliged to go away in a hurry.

Manager. And in a brougham, too. (Growls, but remembers the value of Stalls and Private Boxes.) Well, go on: this sort of thing won't do. No it won't, and here's poor honest hard-working and pretty MISS SMITH at fifteen or twenty shillings a week, with shoes and tights to find, has had to stop here all the morning, dinnerless, and she can't leave on any account, or if she did, she'd be fined. But you can't fine Stalls and Private Boxes, you know. An old story, perhaps, but one that doesn't come in badly now ye Gentlemen of England who sit in your stalls at EASE, and look at SHES.

KINGS AND OTHER THINGS OF SPAIN.

So FRANCISO is to be King of Spain. What? The late titular king, F. DE ASSIS? No, M'm, he sporteth on the Boulevards, and may sport. Don't you know that his name is FRANCISCO-if women would only be accurate? It is Field Marshal DON FRANCISO SERRANO Y DOMINGUEZ, Duke de la Torre, born at Cadiz, 1810. What, King? Well, as soon as the Cortes shall have verified themselves, he is to be head of all things, and to form a new Cabinet. That is uncommonly like Kingship, M'm. The Directory seems to be laid on the shelf-a new nation cannot produce a good one, like KELLY'S, or THOM'S. KING SERRANO would sound very well. SERRANO, in Spanish, means Montagnard in French, and Highlander in English, So we may say of him, with the Princess in Love's Labour's Lost

"Who e'er he be, he shows a mountain mind."

It is possible, of course, that this mountain may bring forth a mouse in the shape of an insignificant king, of royal blood; but if we were SERRANO, and PRIM didn't mind, and the army were affable, we should put it to the Spanish nation whether a native nobleman were not better than a foreign prince. And probably Echo would (as a great writer said) answer in the affirmative.

Goody Four Shoes. By the more humane farriery which "The British Goodenough Horseshoe Company" wish to introduce, it appears that the horse is likely to be the gainer. On this account alone, therefore, the object of the company is good enough for us to wish it success.

THE BOW BEFORE BATTLE.
THERE never was known such a season!
So soft and so mild and serene,
'That Londoners looking the trees on,

Stare to find that they 're black and not green. And the mildness has spread to the Session,

And the Commons have 'countered in calm:
And the "outs" on the men in possession
For vials of wrath distil balm.

O'er Dizzy grave GLADSTONE drops honey:
For a kiss Dizzy drops bark and bite;
Each his compliments paying in money,
Which, whatever its worth, looks all right.
Then why should we look in their hearts
Or the hands that upon them they lay?
Consummately both play their parts,
And gracefully each says his say.

So Fontenoy's ranks prefaced burst

Of battle with bows, ere they drew,
The French Guards begging ours to fire first,
While the English replied, "After you!"
Does this bow before battle presage
That this Session's fight will enjoy
Butchers' bills, such as redden the page

Of Fame's ledger that holds Fontenoy?

Let us wait till politenesses pass,,
Nor pooh-pooh palaver and praise,

As if we thought either the ass

To believe his antagonist's phrase.

At the shake-hands a set-to before,

The ring "o'er the left" points its thumb, For it knows that, the handshaking o'er, There is tapping of claret to come!

WITHOUT TEARS."

66

"The LORD CHANCELLOR read, on yesterday afternoon, to the assembled Peers and Commons, a speech which, for directness, clearness, and grave dignity, will challenge comparison with any that have been put in the mouth of HER MAJESTY since her accession. A good cause, a knowledge that the nation is in thorough sympathy with the Government, and a clear view of the immediate exigencies of political progress in England, have helped MR. GLADSTONE to an exposition of his policy, at once simple and impressive, which stands out in marked contrast to the rhetorical cloud of phrases in which MR. DISRAELI has been accustomed to mask his meaning, or his want of meaning." -Star, Wednesday.

"The House of Commons, held to be the first which has hitherto represented 'the people,' and therefore deserving of especial distinction and respect, was yesterday convened to listen to a Royal Speech which, in substance, was retailed to the public by a daily contemporary on Monday last. Save in respect to its closing paragraphs, it is not a very provocative speech. Its style is feeble and stilted, it is clumsy in construction, its language is vague and affected, and its promises of useful legislation are meagre in the extreme; but we are not disposed to criticise too harshly a document composed under peculiar difficulty, and evidently inspired by the maxim, 'the least said the soonest mended.'"-Standard, Wednesday.