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My master has sent for the doctor, who, and I and the post, is no better than an I was in the workshop last night, where—'

"Where, no doubt, you saw a great deal," facetiously interrupted the Axe.

'twixt you

old file !'

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The Saw showed his teeth in a sort of grin betwixt melancholy and mirth, and resumed,


Why, I may say so with some truth; and I consider it no more than a duty I owe Mr. Carpenter to do as much as I can, in spite of my teeth, for he is really liberal-in point of board."

"And, do you never grow rusty ?" asked the Axe. "Not with over work," replied the Saw; "and, indeed, I have always found that constant employment best preserves our polish; which, after all, is only artificial."

"You are quite a philosopher."

"Not exactly so; for I sometimes do grow exceedingly hot, and lose my temper."

"And what says your master?"

"Why, he generously desists awhile, and I soon grow cool again, and then I cut away like a razor through a piece of mottled soap!



"You are a happy fellow," said the Axe. "How differently am I situated! My master is a chopping boy,' with a thick block, which is tantamount to saying he is a fat fool. He is very sharp with me sometimes; and when he finds I am inclined to be blunt, he grinds me most cruelly."

"Alas!" cried the Saw; "it's the way of the world, my friend; for I have invariably remarked, that

the rich always grind the poor for the sake of the




"Bravo!" exclaimed the Axe.

"You see I've not lived in the world all this time without getting a notch or two," said the Saw.

"Nor I either," replied the Axe; "although, in obtaining the said notches, I have not only lost my courage, but a portion of my metal too!"



Well, I never saw ! exclaimed his friend; "how you talk! I am sure your teeth do not give you any trouble, at any rate.”

"I ax your pardon, old boy," remonstrated the Axe; "for, although I do not complain of my teeth exactly, my chops give me a pretty considerable deal of trouble, I can tell you."

The Saw grinned an approval of the Axe's wit. "Peace!" exclaimed the Axe. "Here comes Mr. Carpenter; so don't show your teeth, till you can bite,'-I believe that is the maxim of a relation of yours?"

"Not a relation," said the other; 66 are the words of a wise old saw!"

though they


OH! Molly, there are very few
Such plump and rosy girls as you;
Me, or abuse,

Why I shall feel

Just like an eel

Cut up and in a stew !

[blocks in formation]

And you a tartar.

Relent, dear Molly, or you'll make

Your love a martyr,

And bring him to the stake!

Then love me, dearest Doll, and I Will make you mine, and mother of our fry!


O cruel trap! O sad mishap!
O! what a tale of woe!

'Twas love of cheese deluded her,
And all my hopes laid low.

But though a bait has caught my spouse,
My love can naught abate ;

Against the cruel bars I rail,
And rail at cruel Fate.

So kind she was, I never felt
The matrimonial noose;
And then her virtue-lack-a-day!
I wish that she were loose!
Two tender daughters in the nest
Demand a mother's care;

O! may her present case n'er fall

To either darling's share!

Fast flies the night, like one in flight
Before a conqu❜ring foe;

And morning breaks, and breaks my heartThe light brings heavy woe.

The cruel cook, who set the trap,

Will soon be up and down;

And when she sees my love, will seize
Her victim with a frown,

And plunge her in a pail, perhaps ;
Or, oh! much worse than that,
Will sentence her-like mutineer-
To the infernal-cat!

Farewell! dear partner of my toils,
Whom cruel toils now bind;
I never thought my wife would be
So soon again confined.



O Thomas, dear Thomas, I think
Somehow you are given to drink.


O no!--you're mistaken, d'ye see,
For the drink it was given to me:
All I know is, I went to the Docks,
And now-I am fast in the stocks;
But, no more will I drink, unless mix'd,
I'm resolved-nay, you see I am fix'd.


Your poor wife was frighten'd to death, And vented her sighs with her breath.


Poor soul!-she must still wait a bit
Before I get out of this fit;
And a precious strong fit it is too;
And yet I have safely "got through."

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