There are reasons why the wife should be found in the performance of these duties, 1. Taken from her creation, time, manner, and end of it; Adam was formed first, and then Eve; and therefore in point of time had the superiority; the man was not made of and for the woman; but the woman was made of and for the man, and to be an bp-meet and assistant to him, 1 Tim. ii. 13. 1 Cor. xi, 8, 9. Gen. ii. 18.2. From the consideration of the fall, and her concern in it; Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived, was in the transgression, at least first, and the means of drawing her husband into it; and therefore it is part of the sentence denounced upon her for her transgression, Thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee, Geŋ iii, 16. 3. From the man being the head of the woman; and therefore she should be in subjection to him as such, 1 Cor. xi. 3. Eph v. 23.4. From her being the weaker vessel, and therefore standing in need of his shelter and protection. 5. From her own credit and honour concerned herein; as it would be to her discredit and dishonour to behave irreverently, and to be disobedient; to submit him, as is fit in the Lord, is decent and becoming, Col. iii, 18, and so to be is ornamental to women, and the best ornament they can deck themselves with, Being in subjection to their own husbands, 1 Pel. iii. 3—5. 6. The chici argument of all is taken from the subjection of the church to Christ, Eph. v. 22-24. In short, both parties should consult each other's pleasure, peace, comfort, and happiness, and especially the glory of God; that his word, ways, and worship, may not be reproached and evil spoken of through any conduct of theirs, Til ii. 5. OF THE RESPECTIVE DUTIES OF PARENTS AND CHILDREN. THESE duties arise from a relation founded in nature. There is a natural in. stinct in all creatures, even in the brutal creation, and in the more brutish part of that, to love their young, take care of them, provide for them, supply them, protect and defend them; Even the sea-monsters give suck to the young ones, Lam. iv. 3. much more such an affection appears in human and rational beings; can a woman forget her sucking child? &c. Isa, xlix. 15, on the other hand, as they are among the most wicked and abandoned of mankind who are disobedient to parents; they are in the same description of them repre sented as without natural affection, Rom. i. 30, 31, 2 Tim, iii. 2, 3. as such must be, as well as guilty of gross ingratitude, who requite not their parents i with filial love and duty for all the care and trouble, pains and expences, they have been at in bringing them forth, and bringing them up in the world. Their performance of these duties is one part of natural religion. The apostle calls 7 shewing piety, or godliness, 1 Tim v. 4. The heathens by the light of nature taught these things; Solon, Phocylides, Pythagoras, Isocrates, Plutarch", and others, coupled and ranked them together, and exhorted first to honour God, and then to ho our parents f; and, indeed, parents in their exercise of their love, power, and care, greatly resemble the divine Being, as the Creator, Sustainer, Protector, and Governor of his creatures; since children receive their being from their parents, under God; who are the instruments of introducing them into the world, and of their sustentation, support, and protection in it; hence Philo observes, that the "fifth command concerning honouring parents, is placed between the two tables of the law; which seems to be done because the nature of parents is uopiov, a middle border, or term between immortal and -mortal; being mortal with respect to cognation to men, and other animals, and the corruptible body; immortal, as it resembles in generation God, the parent of all." And children are therefore under great obligation to various duties with respect unto them; with which I shall begin, and the rather, as they stand first in order, in the directions the apostle gives to both parents and children, I. The duties of children to their parents are included and comprehended in that general exhortation, Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right, Eph. vi. 1. The persons of whom this duty is required, are children; and the persons to whom it is to be performed, are parents; by the former are meant children of each sex, male and female, sons and daughters, being in an equal relation, and in equal obligation to obedience to parents; and of every age, from infancy to manhood; and though the power of parents over children is less when grown up, the duty of observance, gratitude, and filial reverence does not cease; yea, may be the more increased, since it may be then better known; and children of every class, state, and condition of life, though they may be superior to parents in worldly honour, wealth, and riches, are to obey them, as the cases of Joseph and Solomon shew. And though such who are the true and genuine offspring of parents, or who are so in a proper sense, may be chiefly meant, yet in them are included spurious ones, and such who are children by adoption, as Moses and Esther; or by the law of marriage, sons and daughtersin-law, as Moses to Jethro, and Ruth to Naomi, who were all obsequious to those to whom they stood thus related. By parents are meant, though chiefly immediate ones, yet include all in the ascending line, as a father's father and mother, a mother's father and mother, or grand-fathers and grand-mothers, or if any higher are living they are intitled to obedience; and, indeed, all who stand in the room and stead of parents, as adoptive ones, step fathers and step-mothers, tutors, guardians, governors, nurses, &c. whilst under their care, and in a Diligere parentes prima naturæ lex, ib. s. 7. & extern. s. 5. a Laert. vit. Solom. p. 46, d Parænes. ad Demonic. Orat. 1. πρωτα που τιμάς μετεπείται σε σεις γεγης, Phocyl. Pythag Poem. Admon. v. 6. c Aurea Carmin. v. 1, 2. * Περι Φιλαδελφίας, p. 479. vol. 8. 7 state of minority, obedience is to be yielded unto them; but particularly both parents are meant, father and mother, as it is explained in the next verse; Honour thy father and mother; fa.her is put first, on account of order, of precedence and dignity; sometimes the order is inverted, to shew the equal respect that should be had to both, Lev. xix. 3. The duty enjoined, is obedience, which includes love, honour, reverence, gratitude, and subjection. 1. Love; from whence all true obedience to God, to Christ, and to creatures flow; disobedience is owing to a want of love; such who are disobedient to parents, are without natural affections, as before observed: parents are greatly to be loved, but not more than God and Christ; He that loveth father or mother more than me, says Christ, is not worthy of me, Matt. x. 372. Honour: obedience is explained by honour, Eph. vi. 1, 2. which honour lies,— In thought and estimation; children are to think highly, and to entertain an honourable esteem of their parents; to which is opposed, a setting light by them, Deut. xxvii. 16. a mean and contemptible opinion of them leads to disobedience to them-Is expressed by words; by speaking honourably of them and to them; I go, Sir, was language which carried in it honour and respect, though it was not attended with obedience, Matt. xxi. 30. Cursing father or mother with the mouth and lips, is shocking, and was punishable with death by the Levitical law, and followed with the judgments of God, Lev. xx. 9. In gesture and behaviour; as by rising up to them, and bowing before them; instances of which are in Joseph and Solomon, Gen. xlvi. 29. 1 Kings ii. 19. 3. Obedience to parents, includes fear and reverence of them, Lev. xix. 3. which is shewn by a patient bearing their reproofs, and by a sub*mission to their corrections, Heb. xii. 2. by an acknowledgment of offences committed, and asking forgiveness of them, by concealing their infirmities, natural and moral, whether through old age or otherwise, an instance of this we have in Shem and Japhet, Gen. ix. 21-23.-4. Gratitude; a requital of them for all their kindness; by taking care of them when in want and dis"tress, and in old age; so Joseph nourished his father and his family in a time of famine: so Ruth gleaned for Naomi, though only her mother-in-law; and her son Obed was by prophecy to be a nourisher of her in her old age; and David, though in a state of exile himself, provided for his father and his mo. ther, to be with the king of Moab, til he knew how it would be with him. The Pharisees are charged with a breach of this duty, by a tradition of theirs, which wickedly excused persons from relieving their indigent parents, Matt. xv. 4-6. The heathens teach better things: Solon pronounces such ignoble and dishonourable, who neglect the care of their parents: in Æneas may be Laert. vit. Solon. 1. 1. Ergo age, chare pater, cervici imponere nostræ : Virgil. Eneid. 1. 2. prope finem. seen a specimen of filial piety to an aged parent, whom he carried on his back at the destruction of Troy. The storks in the heavens may teach men their duty, who are careful of their dams in old age, which Aristophanes wittily calls an ancient law in the tables of the storks. 5. Subjection and submission to their commands, advice, reproofs, and corrections.. The rule is, Children, obey your parents in all things, Col. iii. 20. not in things sinful, contrary to the laws of God, and ordinances of Christ; if parents command their children to worship another God, or a graven image; or do any thing forbidden in the first and second tables of the law; or enjoin them not to profess the name of Christ, nor submit to his ordinances; they are to be rejected, and, in a comparative sense, hated, Luke xiv. 26. for God is to be obeyed, and not man, not even parents, in such cases; but in things that are lawful and right, agreeable to the will of God, revealed in his word, and even in things indifferent, which are neither forbidden nor commanded, yet if enjoined by parents are to be ob served; an instance of this we have in the Rechabites, and whose filial observance was approved of by the Lord Jer. xxxv. 6—19. yea, also in things difficult and disagreeable to flesh and blood; as the cases of Isaac in submitting to be sacrificed by his father, and in Jephtha's daughter, to be done unto by him according to his vow, shew, The manner in which this obedience is to be yielded is, in the Lord, Eph. vi. 1. which may be considered as a limitation of the above rule; that it must be in things pertaining to the Lord, which are well-pleasing in his sight, which make for his glory, and are done for his sake, according to his command and will, and in obedience to it; and also in imitation of the Lord Christ, who, in his human nature, was subject to his earthly parents, and thereby left an example of filial obedience to tread in his steps, Luke ii. 51. The reason enforcing such obedience is, for it is right; it is agreeable to the law and light of nature, as has been before observed; it is agreeable to reason, and to the law of equity; gratitude demands it, that children who have received so many favours from their parents, should make some suitable returns in a way of filial love, honour, reverence, and obedience: it is agreeable to the law of God; it stands among the precepts of the decalogue, it is the fifth in order there; but, as the apostle says, it is the first commandment with promise, with a promise of long life; which was always reckoned a great blessing, which disobedience to parents often deprives of, as in the case of Absalom. II. There are duties incumbent on parents with respect to their children, which are, 1. Negatively expressed; Ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, Eph. vi. 4. which may be done, 1. By words; by laying upon them unjust and unreasonable commands, by fiequent, public, and severe cuidings, by indiscreet and passionate expressions, and by contumelious and reproachful language; Ο Νόμος παλαίος, εν τοις των πελαργών κυριεσω; Aves, p. 604. such as that of Saul to Jonathan, 1 Sam. xx. 30.-2. By deeds; as by shewing more love to one than to another; as Jacob did to Joseph, which so incensed his brethren that they hated Joseph, and could not speak peaceably to him, Gen. xxxvii. 8. by not allowing them proper food, and a sufficiency of it, Matt. vii. 9, 10. 1 Tim. v. 8. by not indulging them with innocent recreation, which children should have, Zech. viii. 5. and when at a proper age for marriage, by disposing of them to persons not agreeable to their inclinations; and by restraining them from those that would be, without any just reason; and by squandering away their substance in riotous living, when they should have preserved it, and laid it up for the present use, or future good of their children; and especially by any cruel and inhuman treatment; as that of Saul to Jonathan, when he made an attempt on his life, 1 Sam. xx. 33, 34. Such provocation should be carefully avoided; since it renders all commands, counsel, and corrections ineffectual, alienating the affections of their children from them; the reason to dissuade from it, given by the apostle, is lest they be discouraged, Col. iii. 21. be overwhelmed with grief and sorrow, and thereby their spirits be broken, become pusillanimous, disheartened and dispirited; and despairing of pleasing their parents, and sharing in their affections, become careless of duty, and indolent to business. Parents, no doubt, have a right to rebuke and reprove their children when they do amiss; it was Eli's fault that he was too soft and lenient, and his reproofs too easy, when he should have restrained his sons from acting the vile part; should have frowned upon them, put on stern looks, and laid his commands on them, and severely threatened them, and punished them if refractory, 1 Sam. ii. 23. 24. and iii. 13. And they may use the rod of correction, which they should do betimes, and whilst there is hope; but always with moderation, and in love; and should take some pains with their children to convince them that they do love them; and that it is in love to them, and for their good, that they chastize them. Fathers are particularly mentioned, because they are apt to be most severe, and mothers most indulgent. 11. The duty of parents to their children is expressed positively; But bring them up in the nurture and adinonition of the Lord, Eph. vi. 4. which may relate, 1. To things civil, respecting them, that they should bring them up; that is, provide for their sustentation and support, food and raiment suitable and convenient for them, and what is honest in the sight of all men, Rom. xii. 17. 1. Tim. v. 8. take care of their education, suitable to their birth, to their capacity, and to what they are designed for in life; to put them to some trade and business at a proper time; the Jews have a saying, "that he that does not teach his son, or cause him to be taught, some trade or business, it is all one as if he taught him to be a thief, to steal privately or rob publicly ;" and when of age, to dispose of them in marriage, to take wives for their sons, and to give their daughters to husbands; and to give them portions, and part with *T. Bab. Kiddushin. fol. 30. 2. |