sition, in prose or rhyme, and on any subject, may be procured at a minute's warning, by applying to my office and I dare say, you yourself, Mr. Town, will be very glad now and then to purchase a Connoisseur of me, whenever the idle fit seizes you. If that should happen to come upon you this week, and you have nothing better, you will oblige me by laying the scheme here set before your readers; and in return, you shall have the credit of publishing your papers at my office, as soon as it is opened, and welcome. I am, Sir, Your humble servant, J. WITSELL. N° 97. THURSDAY, DECEMBER 4, 1755. Your friend, your pimp, your hanger-on, what not? I REMEMBER to have heard a cousin of mine, who was formerly at Cambridge, often mentioning a sect of philosophers, distinguished by the rest of the collegians under the appellation of Tuft-Hunters. These were not the disciples of the Stoics or Epicureans, or the advocates for the old or new philosophy, but the followers (literally speaking) of the fellow-commoners, noblemen, and other rich students, whom, it seems, the courtesy of the university has honoured with a cap adorned with a gold tassel. These gold threads have almost as much influence in the university, as a red or blue ribband at court; and always draw after the wearer a train of humble companions, who will be at his call to breakfast, dine or sup with him whenever he pleases, will go with him any where, drink with him, wench with him, borrow his money, or let him pay their reckoning. They are, I am told, a sort of disease of the place, which a man of fortune is sure to catch as soon as he arrives there: and these fast friends stick so close to him, that he can never shake them off while he keeps his gown on his back. The university of London is not without it's tufthunters; who fasten, like leeches, on a young man of fortune at his first coming to town. They beset him as soon as he arrives, and when they have once surrounded him, seldom fail of securing him to themselves; for no persons of character care to have any connections with him, when he has been frequently seen in such bad company. It is a great misfortune for any young gentleman to fall into their hands: though indeed, as a fool is the natural prey of knaves, the wealthy maintainers of this fraternity are generally none of the wisest: and as at the university, "where the learned pate ducks to the golden fool," the gentleman-student is distinguished by a cap with a gold tuft, I always consider these sons of folly in town, as adorned with a showy cap hung with bells, which serve at once to denote the depth of their parts, and to call their train about them. The dialect of the town has very expressively characterised these humble dependents on men of fortune by the name of Hangers-on. They will, indeed, take such sure hold, and hang on a man so constantly, that it is almost impossible to drop them. Whenever the gentleman appears, the Hanger-on is sure to be at his elbow. They will squeeze themselves into every party that is formed; and I have known instances of their thrusting themselves into strange families, by sticking to their patron's skirts, and impudently introduc ing themselves where he has been invited to dinner: which, indeed, I think would not be an improper custom, provided they would submit to stand behind his chair. They will stick so closely, that all the adhesive quality of burs, pitch, &c. seem to be collected in them; and the line in Pope's Odyssey, so often ridiculed, may rather be considered as emphasis than tautology in speaking of them. The Hanger-on clings to his fool, as Ulysses did to the rock, and in Pope's words, They stick adherent, and suspended hang. The tenaciousness of an Hanger-on is so very strong, that whoever is drawn into their snares, is so firmly limed that he can hardly ever loose himself from them. For as nothing but the lowest meanness of spirit could ever prevail on a man to submit to such dependence on another, it is in vain to think of getting rid of such abject wretches by treating them with contempt. They will take as much beating, provided you will allow them an equal degree of familiarity, as a spaniel. They will also submit to do any little offices, and are glad to make themselves useful, whenever they have an opportunity. They will go among the brokers to borrow money for you, pimp for you, or submit to any other such gentleman-like employment to serve their friend. It must here be noted, that every Hanger-on is a person of strict honour and a gentleman; for though his fortune is (to be sure) somewhat inferior to yours, and he submits to make himself convenient on several occasions, yet on that account you are indebted to his infinite good-nature; and all his endeavours to serve you proceed from his great regard for you. I remember one of these friendly gentlemen, who carried his esteem so far, that in a quarrel with his rich companion, in which he was favoured with several tweaks by the nose and kicks on the breech, he received all these injuries with patience, and only said with tears in his eyes, 'Dear Jack, I never expected this usage from you. You know I don't mind fighting; but I should never have a moment's peace, if I was to do you the least injury. Come, Jack, let us buss and be friends. Their gentility is unquestionable; for they are seldom of any trade, though they are sometimes (being younger-brothers perhaps) of a profession. I know one, who is a nominal lawyer; but though his friend has often fee'd him, our counsellor could never with any propriety consider him as a client: and I know another, who (like Gibbet in the play) is called Captain, whose elegant manner of living must be supported by his being on full pay with his patron, since he does not receive even the common soldier's groat a day from his commission. However, considering at one view the gentility of their profession, and the shortness of their finances, I often look upon them as a band of decayed gentlemen, the honourable pensioners of those they follow. The great men among the Romans had a number of these Hangers-on, who attended them wherever they went, and were emphatically called Umbra, or shadows; and, indeed, this appellation conveys a very full idea of the nature of these humble retainers to the wealthy, since they not only follow them like their shadows, but "like a shadow prove the substance true:" for whenever you observe one or more of these Umbræ perpetually at the heels of any gentleman, you may fairly conclude him to be a man of fortune. These faithful friends are so careful of every thing that concerns you, that they always inquire with the greatest exactness into your affairs, and know almost as well as your steward the income of your estate. They are also so fond of your company, and so desirous of preserving your good opinion, that a Hang er-on will take as much pains to keep you entirely to himself, and to prevent a rival in your affections, as a mistress and as a convenient female is a very necessary part of the equipage of a person of fashion, these male companions must be a very agreeable part of the retinue of those high spirited young gentlemen, who are fond of being the head of their company. It is only a more refined taste in expence to pay a man for laughing at your wit, and indulging your humour; and who will either drink his bottle with you at the tavern, or run to the end of the town for you on an errand. I might also take notice of an humbler sort of Hangers-on, who fix themselves to no one particular, but fasten upon all their friends in their turns. Their views, indeed, are seldom extended beyond a present subsistence; and their utmost aim perhaps is to get a dinner. For this purpose they keep a register of the hours of dining of all their acquaintance; and though they contrive to call in upon you just as you are sitting down to table, they are always with much difficulty prevailed on to take a chair. If you dine abroad, or are gone into the country, they will eat with your family, to prevent their being melancholy on account of your absence; or if your family is out, they will breakfast, dine, and sup with you out of charity, because you should not be alone. Every house is haunted with these disturbers of our meals: and perhaps the best way to get rid of them, would be to put them, with the rest of your servants, upon board-wages. But besides these danglers after men of fortune, and intruders on your table in town, the country breeds a race of lowly retainers, which may properly be ranked among the same species. Almost every family supports a poor kinsman; who, happening to be no way related to the estate, was too proud of his blood to apply himself in his youth to any profession, and |