Ms. Ford. What cause of fufpicion? M Page. What cause of fufpicion ?-Out upon you'-how am I mistook in you? Ford. Buck? I would I could wash myself of the buck! Buck, buck, buck? Ay, buck; I warrant you, buck; and of the feafon too, it shall ap Mr. Ford. Why, alas! what's the matter? pear. [Exeunt Servants with the basket.] GentleMrs. Page. Your husband's coming hither, women, I have dream'd to-night; I'll tell you my man, with all the officers in Windfor, to fearch dream. Here, here, here be my keys: afcend for a gentleman, that, he says, is here now in the my chambers, fearch, feck, find out I'll warboufe, by your confent, to take an ill advantage of rant, we'll unkennel the fox:-Let me stop this his abfence: You are undone. way firft:-So, now uncape 2. Mrs. Ford. Speak louder.-[4fde.] 'Tis not fo, I hope. Mr. Page. Pray heaven it be not fo, that you have fuch a man here; but 'tis most certain your haband's coming with half Windfor at his heels, to fearch for fuch a one. I come before to tell you: If you know yourself clear, why I am glad of it: but if you have a friend here, convey him, convey Im out. Be not amaz'd; call all your fenfes to you; defend your reputation, or bid farewell to your good life for ever. Mr. Ford. What shall I do?-There is a gentleman, my dear friend; and I fear not mine own fhame, fo much as his peril: I had rather than a thousand pound, he were out of the house. Mrs. Page. For fhame, never stand you bad rather, aral you bad rather; your husband's here at hand, bethink you of fome conveyance: in the boufe you cannot hide him.-Oh, how have you deceived me !-Look, here is a basket; if he be of any reasonable ftature, he may creep in here; and throw foul linen upon him, as if it were going to backing: Or, it is whiting-time, fend him by your two men to Datchet mead. Page. Good mafter Ford, be contented: you wrong yourfelf too much. Ford. True, mafter Page.-Up, gentlemen; you shall fee fport anon: follow me, gentlemen. [Exit. Eva. This is fery fantaftical humours, and jea loufies. Caius. By gar, 'tis no de fathion of France: it is Mrs. Ford. I know not which pleases me better, that my hufband is deceiv'd, or fir John. Mrs. Page. What a taking was he in, when your husband afk'd who was in the basket! Mrs. Ford. I am half afraid, he will have need of wathing; fo throwing him into the water will do him a benefit. Mrs. Page. Hang him, dishonest rafcal! I would all of the fame ftrain were in the fame diftrefs. Mrs. Ford. I think, my husband hath fome fpecial fufpicion of Falstaff's being here; for I never Mei. Fard. He's too big to go in there: What faw him fo grofs in his jealoufy till now. fhad I do? Re-enter Faiftaff. Fal. Let me fee't, let me fee't! Olet me fee't! Tin, I'll in ;-follow your friend's counsel ;—I'll M Page. What! fir John Falstaff? Are thefe your letters, knight? Fat I love thee,-help me away: let me creep in here; I'll never Life goes into the basket, they cover him with foul linen. Mr. Ford. What, John, Robert, John! Go, take up these clothes here, quickly; Where's the cawl-Staff? look, how you drumble : carry them & the laundrefs in Datchet mead; quickly, come. Exter Ford, Page, Caius, and Sir Hugh Evans. Fzd. Pray you, come near: if I fufpect without cafe, why then make fport at me, then let me be your jest, I deferve it.-How now? whither bear you this ? Sers. To the laundrefs, forfooth. Mrs. Ferd. Why, what have you to do whither they bear it? you were beft meddle with buckWishing. Mrs. Page. I will lay a plot to try that: And we will yet have more tricks with Falftaff: his diffolute difeafe will fcarce obey this medicine. Mrs. Ford. Shall we fend that foolish carrion, miftrefs Quickly, to him, and excufe his throwing into the water; and give him another hope, to betray him to another punishment? Mrs. Page. We'll do it; let him be fent for tomorrow, eight o'clock, to have amends. Re-enter Ford, Page, and the rest at a distance. Ford. I cannot find him: may be the knave brag'd of that he could not compass. Mrs. Page. Heard you that? Mrs. Ford. I, I; peace :mafter Ford, do you? Ford. Ay, I do fo. -You ufe me well, 1 Leck how you drumble, means, how confufed you are. In the North, drumbled ale, means muddy, dale. 2 This alludes to the topping every hole at which a fox could enter, before they urcape or turn him out of the bag in which he was brought. Every one has heard of a bag-fox. Pagt Page. Fie, fie, mafter Ford! are you not afham'd? what spirit, what devil fuggefts this imagination? I would not have your diftemper in this kind, for the wealth of Windsor Castle. Ford. 'Tis my fault, mafter Page: I fuffer for it. Eva. You fuffer for a pad confcience: your wife is as honeft a 'omans, as I will defires among five thousand, and five hundred too. Caius. By gar, I fee 'tis an honeft woman. Ford. Well;-I promis'd you a dinner :-Come, come, walk in the park: I pray you, pardon me ; I will hereafter make known to you, why I have done this. Come, wife; come, miftrefs Page; I pray you pardon me; pray heartily, pardon me. Page. Let's go in, gentlemen; but, trust me, we'll mock him. I do invite you to-morrow morning to my houfe to breakfast; after, we'll a birding together; I have a fine hawk for the bufh fhall it be fo? Ford. Any thing. Slen. No, the fhall not difmay me: I care not for that, but that I am afeard. Quic. Hark ye; master Slender would speak a word with you. Anne. I come to him.-This is my father's choice. O, what a world of vile ill-favour'd faults Look handsome in three hundred pounds a year! [Aide. Quic. And how does good master Fenton ? pray you, a word with you. Shal. She's coming; to her, coz. O boy, thou hadit a father! Slen. I had a father, mistress Anne ;--my uncle can tell you good jefts of him:-Pray you, uncle, Eva. If there is one, I fhall make two in the tell mistress Anne the jest, how my father stole two company. Enter Fenton and Miftrefs Anne Page. Fent. I fee, I cannot get thy father's love; Therefore no more turn me to him, fweet Nan. Anne. Alas! how then? Fent. Why, thou must be thyself. He doth object, I am too great of birth; And, that, my state being gall'd with my expence, I feek to heal it only by his wealth: Befides thefe, other bars he lays before me,My riots paft, my wild focieties; And tells me, 'tis a thing impotlible I thould love thee, but as a property. Anne. May be, he tells you true. Fent. No, heaven fo fpeed me in my time to come! Albeit, I will confefs, thy father's wealth Was the firft motive that I woo'd thee, Anne: Yet, wooing thee, I found thee of more value Than ftamps in gold, or fums in fealed bags; And 'tis the very riches of thyfelf That now I aim at. Anne. Gentle mafter Fenton, -Hark you hither. geefe out of a pen, good uncle. Shal. Miftrefs Anne, my coufin loves you. Slen. Ay, that I do; as well as I love any woman in Glocefterfhire. Shal. He will maintain you like a gentlewoman. Slen. Ay, that I will, come cut and long-tail, under the degree of a 'fquire. Shal. He will make you a hundred and fifty pounds jointure. Anne. Good mafter Shallow, let him woo for himself. Shal. Marry, I thank you for it; I thank you for that-good comfort. She calls you, coz: I'll leave you. Anne. Now, master Slender. Slen. My will? od's heartlings, that's a pretty jeft indeed! I ne'er made my will yet, I thank heaven; I am not fuch a fickly creature, I give heaven praife. Anne. I mean, master Slender, what would you with me? Slen. Truly, for mine own part, I would little or nothing with you: Your father, and my uncle, have made motions: if it be my luck, fo; if not, happy man be his dole 2! They can tell you how things go, better than I can: You may atk your father; here he comes. Enter Page and Mifirefs Page. Page. Now, mafter Slender :-Love him, daugh ter Anne. Why how now! what does mafter Fenton here? You wrong me, fir, thus ftill to haunt my house! I told you, fir, my daughter is difpos'd of. Fent. Nay, mafter Page, be not impatient. [child. Mrs. Page. Good mafter Fenton, come not to my Page. She is no match for you. 1 That is, come poor, or rich, to offer himself as my rival. The phrafe is derived from the foreft laws, according to which, a man who had no right to the privilege of chace, was obliged to cut or Lite his dog, amongst other modes of disabling him, by depriving him of his tail. A dog fo cut was called a cut, or curt-tail, and by contraction cur. Cut and long-tail therefore lignified the dog of a clown, and the dog of a gentleman. A proverbial expreffion. Fent. Fest. Sir, will you hear me? Page. No, good master Fenton. Curie, mafter Shallow;-come, fon Slender; in:- e. Good mother, do not marry me to yon' fool. Mr. Page. I mean it not; I feek you a better husband c. That's my master, master doctor. ere. Alas, I had rather be fet quick i' the earth, And bow I'd to death with turnips . Mr. Page. Come, trouble not yourself: Good I will not be your friend, nor enemy: Fal. Simple of itself; I'll no pullet-sperm in my brewage.-How now? Quic. Marry, fir, I come to your worship from miftrefs Ford. Fal. Mutrefs Ford! I have had ford enough: I was thrown into the ford; I have my belly-full of Quic. Alas the day! good heart, that was not her fault: fhe does fo take on with her men; they mistook their erection. Ill then, farewell, fir:-She must needs go in; Fal. So did I mine, to build upon a foolish woman's promife. Quic. Well, the laments, fir, for it, that it would [Exit.|yern your heart to fee it. Her husband goes this . Now heaven send thee good fortune! A morning a birding; the defires you once more to kind heart he hath: a woman would run through come to her between eight and nine: I mult carry fire and water for fuch a kind heart. But yet, I her word quickly: fhe'll make you amends, I would my mafter had mistress Anne; or I would warrant you. matter Slender had her; or, in footh, I would multer Fenton had her: I will do what I can for them all three; for fo I have promis'd, and I'll be a good as my word; but fpeciously 3 for master Feton. Well, I muft of another errand to fir Jota Falstaff from my two miftreffes: What a beat am I to flack it? SCENE V. Enter Falfaff and Bardolph. [Exit. Fal. Well, I will vifit her: Tell her fo; and Fal. Do fo. Between nine and ten, say'st thou ? [Exit. Fal. Well, be gone: I will not miss her. Quic. Peace be with you, fir! Fal. I marvel, I hear not of mafter Brook; he fent me word to ftay within: I like his money well. Oh, here he comes. Enter Ford. Ford. Blefs you, fir! Fal. Now, mafter Brook? you come to know what hath pais'd between me and Ford's wife? Ford. That, indeed, fir John, is my business. Pal. Go fetch me a quart of fack; put a toaft in't. [Fat Bands/ph.] Have I liv'd to be carried in a bufet, like a barrow of butcher's offal; and to be thrown into the Thames? Well; if I be ferv'd fach another trick, I'll have my brains ta'en out, and butter'd, and give them to a dog for a newyour's-gift. The rogues flighted me into the river] with as little remorfe as they would have drown'd a bitch's blind puppies, fifteen i' the litter: and|mination? you may know by my fize, that I have a kind of Fal. Very ill-favour'dly, mafter Brook. Fal. No, mafter Brook: but the peaking corority in finking; if the bottom were as deep as nuto her husband, mafter Brook, dwelling in a be, I fhould down. I had been drown'd, but continual 'larum of jealoufy, comes me in the inthe the shore was fhelvy and fhallow; a death ftant of our encounter, after we had embrac'è, that I abhor; for the water fwells a man; and what kifs'd, protefted, and as it were, fpoke the pro A common proverb in the Southern counties of England. 2 That is, fome time to-night. She intends to lay Specially. logue 11 fogue of our comedy; and at his heels a rabble of Jown greafe: think of that, a man of my kidney 3--his companions, thither provok'd and inftigated by think of that; that am as fubject to heat as butter; his diftemper, and forfooth, to fearch his houfe for a man of continual diffolution and thaw; it was a his wife's love. Ford. What, while you were there? Fal. While I was there. miracle to 'fcape fuffocation. And in the height of this bath, when I was more than half stew'd in greafe, like a Dutch dish, to be thrown into the Ford. And did he search for you, and could not Thames, and cool'd, glowing hot, in that furge, find you? Fal. You fhall hear. As good luck would have it, comes in one mittrefs Page; gives intelligence of Ford's approach; and by her invention, and Ford's wife's diftraction, they convey'd me into a buck-basket. Ford. A buck-basket! Fal. Yea, a buck-basket: ramm'd me in with foul fhirts and fmocks, focks, foul ftockings, and greafy napkins; that, mafter Brook, there was the rankeft compound of villanous fmell, that ever offended noftril. Ford. And how long lay you there? like a horfe-thoc; think of that-hilling hot-think of that, mafter Brook. Ford. In good fadnefs, fir, I am forry that for my fake you have fuffer'd all this. My fuit is then defperate; you'll undertake her no more? Fal. Mafter Brook, I will be thrown into Etna, as I have been into Thames, ere I will leave her thus. Her husband is this morning gone a birding: I have received from her another embally of meet ing: 'twixt eight and nine is the hour, mafter Brook. Ford. 'Tis paft eight already, fir. Fal. Is it? I will then addrefs me 4 to my appointment. Come to me at your convenient leiFal. Nay, you fhall hear, master Brook, what fure, and you fhall know how I fpeed; and the I have fuffer'd to bring this woman to evil for your conclufion shall be crown'd with your enjoying her: good. Being thus cramm'd in the basket, a couple Adieu. You fhall have her, mafter Brook; mafter of Ford's knaves, his hinds, were call'd forth by Brook, you shall cuckold Ford. [Exit. their mistress, to carry me in the name of foul cloaths Ford. Hum! ha! is this a vifion? is this a dream? to Datchet-lane: they took me on their fhoulders; do I fleep Mafter Ford, awake! awake, master met the jealous knave their master in the door; who | Ford; there's a hole made in your best coat, master afk'd them once or twice, what they had in their Ford. This 'tis to be married! this 'tis to have basket: I quak'd for fear, left the lunatic knave linen, and buck-baskets!-Well, I will proclaim would have fearch'd it; but fate, ordaining he thould myfelf what I am: I will now take the lecher; be a cuckold, held his hand. Well; on went he he is at my houfe: he cannot 'fcape me; 'tis imfor a fearch, and away went I for foul cloaths. But poffible he should; he cannot creep into a halfmark the fequel, mafter Brook: I fuffer'd the penny purse, nor into a pepper-box: but, left the pangs of three feveral deaths: firft, an intolerable devil that guides him, fhould aid him, I will fright, to be detected with a jealous rotten bell-search impoffible places. Though what I am I wether: next, to be compafs'd, like a good 2 bilbo, cannot avoid, yet to be what I would not, fhall not in the circumference of a peck, hilt to point, heel make me tame: If I have horns to make one to head and then, to be ftopp'd in, like a ftrong mad, let the proverb go with me, I'll be horndiftillation, with ftinking cloaths that fretted in their mad. [Exit. 1 With was fometimes used for of 2 A bilbo is a Spanish blade, of which the excellence is flexiblenefs and clafticity. 3 Kidney in this phrafe now fignifics kind or qualities; but Falitaif means, a man whofe kidneys are as fat as mine. 4 That is, make myself ready, Will Two. Truly I thought there had been one number more, because they fay, od's nouns. Eva. He is a good sprag 2 memory. Farewell, mistress Page. Mrs. Page. Adieu, good fir Hugh. Get you [Exeuns. Los. Peace your tatlings. What is fair, William ? home, boy.-Come, we stay too long. your brain. Enter Falftaff and Mrs. Ford. Fal. Miftrefs Ford, your forrow hath eaten up my fufferance: I fee, you are obfequious in your love, and I profefs requital to a hair's breadth; not Eva. No, it is Lapis; I pray you, remember in only, mistress Ford, in the fimple office of love, but in all the accoutrement, complement, and ceWill Lapis. remony of it. But are you fure of your husband Evs. That is a good William: What is he, Wil-now? Lam, that does lend articles? Mrs. Ford. He's a-birding, fweet fir John. Mrs. Page. [Within.] What hoa, goffip Ford! WILL Articles are borrow'd of the pronoun; and be that declin'd, Singulariter,nominativo, bic, hæc, hoc.what hoa! Esa. Nominativo, big, bag, bog:- -pray you, mark: genitivo, bajas: Well, what is your accufarior waje? W. Accufative, binc. Eva. I pray you, have your remembrance, cid; Aufativo, bung, bang, bog. Sg. Hang hog is Latin for bacon, I warrant E. Remember, William; focative is, caret. Zeu. 'Oman, forbear. M Page. Peace. Mrs. Page. Why, woman, your husband is in his old lunes 3 again: he fo takes on yonder with my husband; fo rails against all married mankind; fo curfes all Eve's daughters, of what com→ 2. What is your genitive cafe plural, William plexion foever; and fo buffets himself on the fore head, crying, 5 Peer-out, peer-out! that any madnefs, I ever yet beheld, feem'd but tamenefs, civility, and patience, to this diftemper he is in now: Vengeance of Giny's cafe! fie on her !--- I am glad the fat knight is not here. never name her, child, if the be a whore. Eva. For thame, 'oman. Mrs. Ford. Why, does he talk of him? Mrs. Page. Of none but him; and fwears, he . You do ill to teach the child fuch words: was carried out, the last time he search'd for him, be teaches him to hick and to hack, which they'll in a basket; protests to my husband, he is now eft enough of themfelves; and to call horum: here; and hath drawn him and the reft of their -fe upon you! company from their sport, to make another expe Eva. Oman, art thou lunatics? haft thou no un-riment of his fufpicion: but I am glad the knight defending for thy cafes, and the numbers of the 2 paders? thou art a foolish chriftian creatures, as I * defires. Page. Prythee, hold thy peace. Ez. Shew me now, William, fome declenars pour pronouns. Fortooth, I have forgot. EL. It is ki, ko, ced; if you forget your kier, bes, and your cods, you must be prceches 1. our ways and play, go. is not here; now he fhall fee his own foolery. Mrs. Ford. How near is he, miftrefs Page? Mrs. Page. Hard by; at ftreet end; he will be here anon. Mrs. Fo d. I am undone !—the knight is here. Mrs. Page. Why, then thou art utterly fham'd, and he's but a dead man. What a woman are you? Away with him, away with him; better shame than murther. Mrs. Ford. Which way fhould he go? how M.Page. He is a better scholar, than I thought should I beftow him? Shall I put him into the | basket again? 1 Sriegh means to fay, You must be breech'd, i. e. flogg'd. To breech is to flog. 2 This word kul in ute, and fignifies ready, alert, Sprightly: it is pronounced as if it was written-frack. *That is, lunacy, frenzy. 4 To take on, now used for to grieve, feems to be fed by our author 5 That is, appear horns. Enter |