Shal. Not a whit. Eva. Yes, py 'r-lady; if he has a quarter of your coat, there is but three skirts for yourself, in my fimple conjectures: but that is all one: If fir John Falstaff have committed difparagements unto you, I am of the church, and will be glad to do my benevolence, to make atonements and compromifes be tween you. Shal. The council fhall hear it; it is a riot. Eva. It is not meet the council hear of a riot; there is no fear of Got in a riot: the council, look you, fhall defire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear a riot; take your vizaments in that. Sbal. Ha! o' my life, if I were young again, the fword fhould end it.. Eva. It is petter that friends is the fword, and end it: and there is alfo another device in my prain, which, peradventure, prings goot difcretions with it: There is Anne Page, which is daughter to matter George Page, which is pretty virginity. Slen. Miftrefs Anne Page? the has brown hair, and fpeaks fmall like a woman. Eva. It is that very person for all the 'orld, as juft as you will defire; and seven hundred pounds of monies, and gold, and filver, is her grandfire, upon his death's-bed, (Got deliver to a joyful refurrections!) give, when the is able to overtake seventeen years old: it were a goot motion, if we leave our pribbles and prabbles, and defire a marriage between mafter Abraham and mistress Anne Page. Slen. Did her grandfire leave her seven hundred pounds? Eva. Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny. Slen. I know the young gentlewoman; she has good gifts. Eva. Seven hundred pounds, and poffibilities, is good gifts. Shal. Well, let us fee honeft mafter Page: Is Falstaff there? e Eva. Shall I tell you a lie? I do defpife a liar, as I do defpife one that is false; or, as I defpife on that is not true. The knight, fir John, is there; and, I befeech you, be ruled by your well-willers. I will peat the door [Knocks] for mafter Page. What, hoa! Got plefs your house here! Enter Page. Page. Who's there? Eva. Here is Got's pleffing, and your friend, and juftice Shallow and here is young mafter Slender, that, peradventures, fhall tell you another Shal. Sir, he's a good dog, and a fair dog; can there be more faid? he is good, and fair.-Is fir John Falstaff here? a Page. Sir, he is within; and I would I could do good office between you. Eva. It is fpoke as a chriftians ought to Ipeak. Shal. If it be confefs'd, it is not redress'd; is not that fo, master Page? He hath wrong'd me;-indeed, he hath; at a word, he hath ;-believe me; -Robert Shallow, efquire, faith, he is wrong'd." Page. Here comes fir John. Enter Sir John Falfaff, Bardolph, Nym, and Pistoi. Fal. Now, mafter Shallow; you'll complain of me to the king? Shal. Knight, you have beaten my men, kill'd my deer, and broke open my lodge. Fal. But not kifs'd your keeper's daughter? Shal. Tut, a pin! this fhall be answer'd. Fal. I will anfwer it ftrait;-I have done all this:-That is now anfwer'd. Shal. The council fhall know this, Fal. 'Twere better for you, if 'twere known in council 3: you'll be laughed at. Eva. Pauca ve ba, fir John; good worts, Fal. Good worts 4! good cabbage :-Slender, I broke your head; What matter have you against me? Slen. Marry, fir, I have matter in my head against you; and against your coney-catching raf cals, Bardolph, Nym, and Pistol. Bar. You Banbury cheese ! Slen. Ay, it is no matter, 1 Advisement is now an obfolete word, 2 He means Catfwold, in Gloucestershire; where in the beginning of the reign of James the Firt, by permiffion of the king, Dover, a public-fpirited attorney of Barton on the Heath, in Warwickshire, inftituted on the hills of Cotswold an annual celebration of games, confifting of rural fports and exercifes. Thefe he conftantly conducted in perfon, well mounted, and accoutred in a fuit of his majefty's old cloaths; and they were fre quented above forty years by the nobility and gentry for fixty miles round, till the grand rebellion abolished every liberal eftablishment. The gaines were, chiefly, wrestling, leaping, pitching the bar, handling the pike, dancing of women, various kinds of hunting, and particularly courfing the hare with greyhounds. 3 Faillaff here probably quibbles between council and counfel; the latter fignifics fecrecy; and his meaning feems to be, Twere better for you if it were known only in fecrecy, i. e. among your friends. 4 Worts was the ancient name of all the cabbage kind, oney-catcher was, in the time of Elizabeth, a common name for a cheat or harper, This alludes to the thin carcafe of Slender. 5 A Pf. How now, Mephoftophilus ? SAy, it is no matter. Ny Slice, I fay! pauca, pauca; flice! that's my humour. Sten. Where's Simple, my man?-can you tell, courin ? Eva. Peace, I pray you! Now let us underftand: There is three umpires in this matter, as I understand; that is-mafter Page, fidelicet, master Page; and there is myself, fidelicet, myself; and the three party is, laftly and finally, mine hoft of the Garter. Page. We three to hear it, and end it between them. Eva. Fery goot: I will make a prief of it in my note-book; and we will afterwards 'ork upon the caufe, with 25 great difcreetly as we can. Fal. Putol, P. He hears with ears. but in honeft, civil, godly company, for this trick if I be drunk, I'll be drunk with thofe that have the fear of God, and not with drunken knaves. Eva. So Got 'udge me, that is a virtuous mind, Fal. You hear all thefe matters deny'd, gentlemen; you hear it. Enter Miftrefs Anne Page with wine; mistress Ford and mifirefs Page following. Page. Nay, daughter, carry the wine in; we'll drink within. [Exit Anne Page. Slen. O heaven! this is miftrefs Anne Page. Page. How now, mistress Ford? Fal. Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very well met: by your leave, good mistress. [Kiffing ber. Page. Wife, bid thefe gentlemen welcome :-Come, we have a hot venifon pafty to dinner come, gentlemen, I hope, we fhall drink down is all unkindness. [Exe. all but Shal. Slend, and Evans. Slen. I had rather than forty fhillings, I had my book of fongs and fonnets here :Enter Simple. Eva. The tevil and his tam! what phrafe this, He bears with ear? Why, it is affectations. Fal. Piftol, did you pick mafter Slender's purfe Slen. Ay, by thefe gloves, did he, (or I would I might never come in mine own great chamber again elfe) of seven groats in mill-fixpences 2, and two Edward fhovel-boards 3; that coft me two fhilling and two-pence a-plece of Yead Miller, by thele gloves. Fal. Is this true, Pistol ?, Eva, No; it is falfe, if it is a pick-purse. Į combat challenge of this latten bilboe4; Nym. Be advis'd, Sir, and pafs good humours: I will fay, murry trap, with you, if you run the nut-hook's humour 7 on me; that is the very note of 1. How now, Simple; where have you been; I must wait on myfelf, muft I? You have not the book of riddles about you, have you? Sim. Book of riddles! why, did you not lend it to Alice Shortcake upon Allhallowmas laft, a fortnight afore Michaelmas ? Shal. Come, coz; come, coz; we stay for you. A word with you, coz; marry this, coz: There is, as 'twere, a tender, a kind of tender, made afar off by fir Hugh here;--do you understand me? Slen. Ay, fir, you fhall find me reasonable; if Eva. Give ear to his motions, master Slender : will defcription the matter to you, if you be capacity of it. I Slen. Nay, I will do, as my coufin Shallow fays: I pray you, pardon me; he's a justice of peace in his country, fimple though I stand here. Eva. But that is not the queftion; the question is concerning your marriage. Shal. Ay, there's the point, fir. Eva. Marry is it; the very point of it; to mistress Anne Page. Slen. Why, if it be fo, I will marry her, upon any reasonable demands. Eva. But can you affection the 'oman? let us command to know that of your mouth, or of your lips; for divers philofophers hold, that the lips is The name of a fpirit or familiar, in the old story book of Sir Jahn Fauftus, or Joan Fauft, and in thofe times a cant phrafe of abufe. 2 Mill'd-fixpences were ufed by way of counters to caft up money.. 3 Thefe were the broad fhillings of Edward VI. and at that time ufed at the play of fhovel-board. 4 Mr. Theobald is of opinion, that by latten bifhoe Pistol, seeing Slender fuch a flim, puny wight, would intimate," that he is as thin as a plate of that compound metal which is called latten; whilft" Mr. Steevens thinks, that latten bilboe means no more than a blade as thin as a lath. 5 That is, hear the word of denial in my lips. Thou ly's. We often talk of giving the lie in a man's teeth, or in his throat. Pistol chooses to throw the word of denial in the lips of his adverfary. When a man caught in his own ftratagem, the exclamation of infult probably was marry, trap! 7 Nuthook was a tern of reproach in cant strain; and, if you run the nuthook's humour on me, is in plain English, if you for I am a thief, A military phrafe. was parcel parcel of the mouth: Therefore, precifely, can your dogs bark so! be there bears i' the town? you carry your good-will to the maid? Anne. I think there are, fir; I heard them Shal. Coufin Abraham Slender, can you love talk'd of. her? Slen. I love the fport well; but I fhall as foon Slew. I hope, fir,-I will do, as it fhall become quarrel at it, as any man in England :-You are one that would do reafon. afraid, if you fee the bear loofe, are you not? Anne. Ay, indeed, fir. Eva. Nay, Got's lords and his ladies, you must fpeak poffitable, if you can carry her your defires towards her. Sbal. Nay, conceive me, conceive me, fweet coz; what I do, is to pleasure you, coz: Can you love the maid? ; Slen. That's meat and drink to me now: I have feen Sackerfon2 loofe, twenty times; and have taken him by the chain: but, I warrant you, the women have fo cry'd and shriek'd at it, that it pafs'd 3:— but women, indeed, cannot abide 'em; they are very ill-favour'd rough things. Re-enter Page. Page. Come, gentle mafter Slender, come; we ftay for you. Slen. I'll eat nothing, I thank you, fir. Slen. Nay, pray you, lead the way. Sten. I will marry her, fir, at your request but if there be no great love in the beginning, yet heaven may decrease it upon better acquaintance, fir: come, come. when we are marry'd, and have more occafion to know one another: I hope, upon familiarity will grow more contempt: but if you fay, marry her, I will marry her, that I am freely difolved, and diffolutely. Eva. It is a fery difcretion anfwer; fave, the faul' is in the 'ort diffolutely; the 'ort is, according to our meaning, refolutely-his meaning is good. Shal. Ay, I think my coufin meant well. Slen. Ay, or elfe I would I might be hang'd, la. Re-enter Anne Pags, Shal. Here comes fair mistress Anne:-Would I were young, for your fake, miftrefs Anne ! Page. Come on, fir.. Slen. Miftrefs Anne, yourfelf fhall go first. Slen. Truly, I will not go first; truly-la; I will not do you that wrong. Anne. I pray you, fir. Slen. I'll rather be unmannerly, than troublefome: you do yourself wrong, indeed-la. [Exeunt, 5 CE NE II. Enter Evans and Simple. Eva. Go your ways, and afk of Dr. Caius' inne. The dinner is on the table; my father de-houte, which is the way; and there dwells one fires your worship's company. Shal. I will wait on him, fair miftrefs Anne. Eva. Od's pleffed will! I will not be abfence at the grace. [Ex. Shal, and Evans. Aune. Will't please your worship to come in, fir? Slen. No, I thank you, forfooth, heartily; I am very well. : Anne. The dinner attends you, fir, Slen. I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forfoath Go, firrah, for all you are my man, go, wait upon my coufin Shallow : [Exit Simple.] A juftice of peace fometime may be beholden to his friend for a man :-I keep but three men and a boy yet, till my mother be dead: But what though yet I live like a poor gentleman born. Anne. I may not go in without your worship ;| they will not fit till you come. Slen. I'faith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you as much as though I did. Anne. I pray you, fir, walk in. miftrefs Quickly, which is in the manner of his nurse, or his dry murfe, or his cook, or his laundry, his wather, and his wringer. Simp. Well, fir. Eva. Nay, it is petter yet :-give her this letter; for it is a 'oman that altogether's acquaintance with miftrefs Anne Page; and the letter is, to de-' fire and require her to folicit your master's defires to mistress Anne Page I pray you be gone; I will make an end of my dinner; there's pippins and cheefe to come. [Exeunt feverally. III. SCENE The Garter inn. Enter Falstaff, Hoft, Bardolph, Nym, Pistol, and Robin. Hoft. What fays my bully-rook? speak schollarly, and wifely. Fal. Truly, mine host, I must turn away fome of my followers. Slen. I had rather walk here, I thank you: Iwag; trot, troț. bruis'd my fhin the other day with playing at fword] Fal. I fit at ten pounds a week. Haft. Difcard, bully Hercules; cafhier; let them and dagger with a master of fence, three veneys I Hoft. Thou 'rt an emperor, Cæfar, Keifar, and for a difh of ftew'd pruens; and, by my troth, IPheezar, I will entertain Bardolph; he fhall cannot abide the smell of hot meat since. Why do draw, he shall tap; faid I well, befly Hector › a The name That is, three different fet-to's, bouts, a technical term from the French, venue, of a bear. 3 Meaning, that it paffed all expreffion. 4 A popular adjuration of thofe times, Cock is no more than a corruption of the Sacred Name, as appears from cock's wounds, cock's bones, and cock's mother, and fome other exclamations which occur in the old Moralities and Interludes. The pye is a table in the old Roman offices, fhewing how to find out the service which is to be read on each day, Fal Do fo, good mine hoft. H. I have fpoke; let him follow: Let me fee thee froth, and lime 1; I am at a word; follow. [Exit Hoft. Fal. Bardolph, follow him; a tapfter is a good trade: An old cloak makes a new jerkin; a eyes too; examin'd my parts with most judicious Pift. Then did the fun on dung-hill shine. Fal. O, fhe did fo courfe o'er my exteriors with wither'd ferving-man, a fresh tapiter: Go; adieu. fuch a greedy intention 9, that the appetite of her Bard. It is a life that I have defir'd: I will eye did feem to fcorch me up like a burning-glafs ! thrive. [Exit Bard. Here's another letter to her: the bears the purse. P. O base Gongarian wight 2! wilt thou the too; fhe is a region in Guiana, all gold and fpigot wield? bounty. I will be cheater 10 to them both, and they fhall be exchequers to me; they shall be my Eaft and Weft-Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go, bear thou this letter to mistress Page; and thou this to mistress Ford: we will thrive, lads, we will Nym. He was gotten in drink: Is not the humour conceited? His mind is not heroic, and there's the humour of it. Pift. Shall I fir Pandarus of Troy become, Fat. I am glad, I am fo acquit of this tinderbox; his thefts were too open: his filching was like an thrive. ikilful finger, he kept not time. A. The good humour is, to steal at a minute's And by my fide wear steel? then, Lucifer take all ! reft 5. Nym. I will run no base humour: here, take the Pf. Convey, the wife it call; Steal! foh; a humour letter; I will keep the haviour of reputation. fico for the phrase! Fal. Hold, firrah, bear you thefe letters tightly I 11; Sail like my pinnace 12 to these golden fhores. Fal. Well, firs, I am almoft out at heels. [To Robin. Fal. There is no remedy; I must cony-catch, I Rogues, hence, avaunt! vanish like hailstones, go; moft shift. Pit. Young ravens must have food 4. PTwo vards, and more. Fal. No quips now, Piftol: Indeed, I am in the wait two yards about: but I am now about no wate; I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford's wife; I fpy entertainment in her; the difcourfes, fhe carves 5, the gives the leer of cavitation: I can conftrue the action of her familiar file; and the hardest voice of her behavar, to be English'd rightly, is, I am fir John Futas P. He hath study'd her will, and translated 6 her will; out of honefty into English. N. The anchor is deep: will that humour pafs? Fal. Now, the report goes, fhe has all the rule of ber haband's purfe; the hath a legion of angels. F. As many devils entertain 7; and, To her, boy, for L Ny. The humour rifes; it is good: humour me the angels. Fall I have writ me here a letter to her: and here ather to Page's wife; who even now gave me good Trudge, plod, away, o' the hoof; feek shelter, pack! French thrift, you rogues; myself, and fkirted page. Pift. Let vultures gripe thy guts! for gourd, And high and low beguiles the rich and poor: Nym. I have operations in my head, which be humours of revenge. Pift. Wilt thou revenge? Nym. With both the humours, I: I will difcufs the humour of this love to Ford. His dove will prove, his gold will hold, And his foft couch defile. Nym. My humour fhall not cool: I will incenfe Ford to deal with poifon; I will poffefs him with yellowness 14, for the revolt of mien 15 is dangerous: that is my true humour. Pit. Thou art the Mars of malecontents: I fecond thee; troop on. [Exeunt. This alludes to the tricks of frothing beer and liming fack, practifed in the time of Shakspeare. The first was done by putting foap into the bottom of the tankard when they drew the beer; the her, by mixing time with the fack (i. e. fherry) to make it fparkle in the glafs. 2 This is a Handy on a line taken from one of the old bombaft plays. 3 Nym means to fay, that the pertion of itealing is to do it in the shortest time possible. 4 A proverb. S In thofe times the sag of both fexes were inftructed in carving, as a neceffary accomplishment. 6 That is, tolased. 7 The old quarto reads: As s many devils attend her! Probably from ceillades, French. * That is, eagerness of defire. 10 By this is meant efcheatour, an officer in the Exchequer, in no repute with the common people. 11 Perhaps we fhould read rightly. 12 A pinnace anciently s to have fignified a finall veffel or floop, attending on a larger. At prefent it fignifies only a - of war's boat 13 Fullam is a cant term for falfe dice, high and low. Gourd was another nt of gaming. 14 That is, jealoufy. 15 Revolt of mien means change of countenance, one the effects he has just been afcribing to jealousy. Enter Mrs. Quickly, Simple, and John Rugby. Quic. What; John Rugby!--I pray thee, go to the cafement, and fee if you can fee my master, mafter Doctor Caius, coming: if he do, i'faith, and find any body in the houfe, here will be an old abufing of God's patience, and the king's English. Rug. I'll go watch. [Exit Rugby. Quie. Go; and we'll have a posset for't soon at night, in faith, at the latter end of a fea-coal fire 1. An honeft, willing, kind fellow, as ever fervant fhall come in houfe withal; and, I warrant you, no tell-tale, nor no breed-bate 2: his worst fault is, that he is given to prayer; he is fomething peevish 3 that way: but no bedy but has his fault; but let that país. Peter Simple, you fay your name is ? Sim. Ay, for fault of a better. Quic. And mafter Slender's your master ? Sim. Ay, forfooth. Caius. Fe, fe, fe, fe! ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Caius. Ouy, mettez le au mon pocket; Depechez, quickly :-Vere is dat knave Rugby? Quic. What, John Rugby! John! Rug. Here, Sir. Caius. You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby: Come, take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to de court. Rug. 'Tis ready, Sir, here in the porch. Caius. By my trot, I tarry too long :-Od's me! Qu'ay j'oublie? dere is some fimples in my closet, dat 1 vill not for the varld I fhall leave behind. Quic. Ah me! he'll find the young man there, and be mad. Caius. diable, diable! vat is in my closet ?— Villaine, Larron! Rugby, my rapier. [Pulls Simple out of the clofet. Quic. Good mafter, be content. Caius. Verefore fhall I be content-a? Caius. Vat fhall de honest man do in my closet ? Quic. Does he not wear a great round beard, dere is no honeft man dat fhall come in my closet. like a glover's paring-knife? Sim. No, forfooth: he hath but a little wee4 face, with a little yellow beard; a 5 Cain-colour'd beard. Quic. A foftly-fprighted man, is he not ? Sim. Ay, forfooth: but he is as tall a man of his hands, as any is between this and his head; he hath fought with a warrener. Quic. How fay you ?—-—-oh, I should remember him; Does he not hold up his head, as it were? and ftrut in his gait? Sim. Yes, indeed, does he. Quic. Well, heaven fend Anne Page no worfe fortune! Tell master parfon Evans, I will do what I can for your matter: Anne is a good girl,| and I with Re-enter Rugby. Rug. Out, alas! here comes my master. Quic. We shall all be fhent 7: Run in here, good young man; go into this clofet. [Shuts Simple in the clofet.] He will not ftay long.-What, John Rugby! John, what, John, I fay !-Go, John, go enquire for my mafter; I doubt, he be not well, that he comes not home :—and down, down, a-down-a 8, &c. [Sings. Enter Dofior Caius. Caius. Vat is you sing? I do not like defe toys; Pray you, go and vetch me in my clofet un boitier werd; a box, a green-a box; do intend vat fpeak? a green-a box. Quick. Ay, forfooth, I'll fetch it you. I am glad he went not in himself: if he had found the young man, he would have been horn-mad. Quic. I befeech you, be not fo flegmatic; hear the truth of it. He came of an errand to me from parfon Hugh. Caius. Vell. Sim. Ay, forfooth, to defire her to- Caius. Peace-a your tongue: Speak-a your tale. Sim. To defire this honeft gentlewoman, your maid, to speak a good word to mistress Anne Page for my mafter in the way of marriage. Quic. This is all, indeed-la; but I'll never put my finger in the fire, and need not. Caius. Sir Hugh fend-a you?--Rugby, baillez me fome paper: Tarry you a little while. Quic. I am glad he is fo quiet: if he had been thoroughly moved, you should have heard him fo loud, and fo melancholy;-but notwithstanding, man, I'll do for your mafter what good I can; and the very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my mafter,-I may call him my master, look you, for I keep his houte; and I wafh, wring, brew, bake, fcour, drefs meat and drink, make the beds, and do all myself. Sim. 'Tis a great charge, to come under one body's hand. Quic. Are you avis'd o' that? you fhall find it a great charge: And to be up early, and down late ;-but notwithstanding, (to tell you in your Iear; I would have no words of it) my master himfelf is in love with miftrefs Anne Page: but notwithitanding that, I know Anne's mind, that's neither here nor there. Caius. You jack'nape; give-a dis letter to Sir [Afide. Hugh; by gar, it is a fhallenge: I vill cut his That is, when my mafter is in bed. 2 Bate is an obfolete word, fignifying ftrife, contention. 3 Foolish. 4 Wee, in the northern diale&t, fignifies very little. s Cain and Judas, in the tapestries and pictures of old, were reprefented with yellow beards. 6 Probably an allufion to the jocky meature, fo many hands high, ufed by grooms when fpeaking of horfes. 7 That is, fcolded. 8 To deceive her mafter, the fings as if at her work. 9 Boitier, in French, fignifies a cafe of furgeons inftruments, throat |