Speed. Come, fool, come; try me in thy paper. Laun. There; and St. Nicholas2 be thy speed! Speed. Imprimis, She can milk. Laun. Ay, that she can. Speed. Item, She brews good ale. Laun. And therefore comes the proverb, Bleffing of your heart, you brew good ale. Speed. Item, She can few. Laun. That's as much as to fay, Can the fo? Laun. What need a man care for a stock with a wench, when she can knit him a stock 3. Speed. Item, She can wash and feour. Laun. A fpecial virtue; for then she need not to be wash'd and scour'd. Speed. Item, She can fpin. Laun. Then may I fet the world on wheels, when the can fpin for her living. Speed. Item, She hath many nameless virtues. Laun. That's as much as to fay, Bastard virtues ; that, indeed, know not their fathers, and therefore have no names. Speed. Here follow her vices. Laun. Clofe at the heels of her virtues. Speed. Item, She is not to be kiss'd fafting, in reSpect of her breath. Laun. Well, that fault may be mended with a breakfast: Read on. Speed. Item, She hath a fweet mouth 4. Laun. That makes amends for her four breath. Speed. Item, She doth talk in her fleep. Laun. It's no matter for that, fo the fleep not in her talk. Speed. Item, She is flow in words. Laun. O villain! that fet down among her vices! To be flow in words, is a woman's only virtue: I pray thee, out with't; and place it for her chief virtue. Speed. Item, She is proud. Speed. Item, She will often praife ber liquor, Laun. If her liquor be good, the fhall if the will not, I will; for good things fhould be praised. Speed. Item, She is too liberal 5. Laun. Of her tongue she cannot; for that's writ down, fhe is flow of: of her purfe the fhall not; for that I'll keep fhut: now of another thing the may; and that I cannot help. Well, proceed. Speed. Item, She bath more hair than wit, and more efaults than bairs, and more wealth than faults. Laun Stop there; I'll have her: fhe was mine, and not mine, twice or thrice in that laft article: Rehearse that once more. Speed. Item, She bath more hair than wit, Laun. More hair than wit,-it may be; I'll prove it: The cover of the falt hides the falt, and therefore it is more than the falt: the hair, that covers the wit, is more than the wit; for the greater hides the lefs. What's next? Speed. And more faults than bairs Laun. That's monftrous: Oh, that that were out ! Speed. For me? Laun. For thee? ay; who art thou? he hath ftaid for a better man than thee, Speed. And muft I go to him? Lau. Thou must run to him, for thou haft staid fo long, that going will scarce ferve the turn. Speed. Why didft not tell me fooner? pox on your love-letters! Laun. Now will he be fwing'd for reading my letter; an unmannerly flave, that will thruft himfelf into fecrets!-I'll after, to rejoice in the boy's correction. [Excunt. SCENE II. Enter Duke and Thurio, and Protheus behind, Duke. Sir Thurio, fear not, but that the will love you, Now Valentine is banish'd from her fight, Thu. Since his exile fhe hath defpis'd me most, Forfworn my company, and rail'd at me, Laun. Out with that too; it was Eve's legacy, That I am defperate of obtaining her. and cannot be taken from her. Speed. Item, She bath no teeth. Duke. This weak imprefs of love is as a figure Trenched 7 in ice; which with an hour's heat Laun. I care not for that neither, because I love Diffolves to water, and doth lofe his form. Crufts. A little time will melt her frozen thoughts, Speed. Item, She is curft. Laun. Well; the belt is, fhe hath no teeth to How now, fir Protheus? Is your countryman, bite. According to our proclamation, gone? It is undoubtedly true that the mother only knows the legitimacy of the child. Launce probably infers, that if he could read, he must have read this well known obfervation. 2 St. Nicholas prefided over scholars, who were therefore call'd St. Nicholas's clerks. 3 That is, a flocking. 4 Dr. Johnfon is of opinion that fuees mouth implies the fame with what is now vulgarly called a Sweet tooth, a luxurious defire of dainties and fweetmeats; while Mr. Steevens believes, that by a fweet mouth is meant that he fings Sweetly. 5 Liberal, is licentious and grofs in language. Gracious, in old language, means graceful. 7 That is, cut, carv'd in ice, Pre Pra Gone, my good lord. Dr. My daughter takes his going heavily. Pra. A little time, my lord, will kill that grief. Duke. So I believe, but Thurio thinks not fo. Frotheus, the good conceit I hold of thee, (For thou haft thewn fome fign of good defert) Makes me the better to confer with thee. Pro. Longer than I prove loyal to your grace, Let me not live to look upon your grace. [effect Dake. Thou know'ft, how willingly I would The match between fir Thurio and my daughter. Pra. I do, my lord. Duke. And alfo, I do think, thou art not ignorant How the oppofes her against my will. Pra. She did, my lord, when Valentine was here. Duke. Ay, and perversely the persevers so. What might we do to make the girl forget The love of Valentine, and love fir Thurio? Pra. The best way is, to flander Valentine With falfhood, cowardice, and poor defcent; Tree things that women highly hold in hate. Duże. Ay, but she'll think that it is spoke in hate. Pra Ay, if his enemy deliver it : Therefore it muft, with circumstance, be spoken By one, whom the esteemeth as his friend. Dr. Then you must undertake to flander him. Pra And that, my lord, I fhall be loth to do: 'T's an ill office for a gentleman; Especially, against his very friend. I [him, Date. Where your good word cannot advantage Your flander never can endamage him ; Therefore the office is indifferent, Being intreated to it by your friend. Duke. And, Protheus, we dare trust you in this Because we know, on Valentine's report, [kind; You are already love's firm votary, And cannot foon revolt and change your mind. Pro. As much as I can do, I will effect :- Duke. Ay, much is the force of heaven-bred poefy. Vifit by night your lady's chamber-window Duke. This difcipline fhews thou haft been in Thu. And thy advice this night I'll put in practice: Pre. You have prevail'd, my lord: if I can do it, Therefore, fweet Protheus, my direction-giver, Very is immediate. 2 The meaning of this allufion is, As you wind off her love from him, make Be the button on which you wind it. The women's term for a ball of thread wound upon a central Dovy, is a bottom of thread. 3 That is, birdlime. 4 A dump was the ancient term for a mournful 5 To inherit, is here used for to obtain poffeffion of, without any idea of acquiring by inheritance, ⚫ laat is, to chuse out. 7 That is, I will excule you from waiting. My riches are thefe poor habiliments, Val. To Verona. 1 Out. Whence came you? Val. From Milan. 3 Out. Have you long fojourn'd there? Val. Some fixteen months; and longer might have ftaid, If crooked fortune had not thwarted me. 1 Out. What, were you banifh'd thence ? Val. I was. 2 Out. For what offence? Val. For that which now torments me to rehearse. I kill'd a man, whofe death I much repent ; But yet I flew him manfully in fight, Without falfe vantage, or base treachery. 1 Out. Why ne'er repent it, if it were done fo: She twits me with my falfhood to my friend; But were you banish'd for fo small a fault? Val. I was, and held me glad of fuch a doom. 1 Out. Have you the tongues? When to her beauty I commend my vows, Val. My youthful travel therein made me happy; Or else I often had been miferable. 3 Out. By the bare fcalp of Robin Hood's fat This fellow were a king for our wild faction. 1 Out. We'll have him: firs, a word. Speed. Mafter, be one of them; It is a kind of honourable thievery. Val. Peace, villain! [to? 2 Out. Tell us this; have you any thing to take Val. Nothing but my fortune. 3 Out. Know then, that fome of us are gentlemen, Such as the fury of ungovern'd youth Thraft from the company of awful 1 men: For practifing to fteal away a lady, An heir, and niece ally'd unto the duke. 2 Out. And I from Mantua, for a gentleman, Whom, in my mood, I ftabb'd unto the heart, 1 Out. And I, for fuch like petty crimes as thefe. But to the purpofe,-(for we cite our faults, That they may hold excus'd our lawless lives) And, partly, feeing you are beautify'd With goodly shape; and by your own report A linguift; and a man of fuch perfection, As we do in our quality much want,→→ 2 Out. Indeed, because you are a banish'd man, Therefore, above the reft, we parley to you: Are you content to be our general? To make a virtue of neceffity, And live, as we do, in the wildernefs? 3 Out. What fay't thou wilt thou be of our Say, ay, and be the captain of us all: 1 Out. But if thou fcorn our courtesy, thou dy'ft. Val. I take your offer, and will live with you; 1 Revererd, worshipful, fuch as magiftrates. hafty paffionate reproaches and fcoffs. Yet, fpaniel-like, the more the fpurns my love, And give fome evening mufic to her ear. Thu. How now, fir Protheus? are you crept before us? [love Pro. Ay, gentle Thurio; for, you know, that Will creep in fervice where it cannot go. Thu, Ay, but I hope, fir, that you love not here. Pro. Sir, but I do; or elfe I would be hence. Thu. Whom? Silvia? Pro. Ay, Silvia,-for your fake. Thu. I thank you for your own. Now, gentlemen, Let's tune, and to it luftily a while. Enter Hoft, at a diftance; and Julia in boy's cloaths. Hoft. Now, my young gueft! methinks you're allycholly; I pray you, why is it? Jul. Marry, mine holt, because I cannot be merry. Hoft. Come, we'll have you merry: I'll bring you where you fhall hear mufic, and fee the gentieman that you aik'd for. Jul. But fhall I hear him speak? Jul. That will be mufic. Hoft. Hark! hark! ful. Is he among these? Hoft. Ay: but peace, let's hear 'ent Who is Silvia? what is she, The heavens fuch grace did lend her, 2 Quality is nature relatively confidered. 3 That is, Is be kind, as he is fair? For beauty lives with kindness: Love deth to ber eyes repair, Ta belp him of bis blindness ; And, being belp'd, inhabits there. Then to Silvia let us fing, That Silvia is excelling ; She excells each mortal thing, Upon the dull earth dwelling: To ber let us garlands bring. For me,-by this pale queen of night, I fwear, Pro. I grant, fweet love, that I did love a lady: But the is dead. Jul. [Afide.] 'Twere false, if I should speak it ;. For, I am fure, fhe is not buried. Sil. Say, that she be; yet Valentine, thy friend, Survives; to whom, thyfelf art witness, Hat. How now? are you fadder than you were I am betroth'd; and art thou not afham'd before? How do you, man? the mufic likes you not. J He plays falfe, father. Hot. How, out of tune on the strings? Jal Not fo; but yet fő falfe, that he grieves my very heart-strings. H. You have a quick ear. Ja Ay, I would I were deaf! it makes me have a flow heart. H. I perceive, you delight not in music. Bz, hoft, doth this fir Protheus, that we talk on, To wrong him with thy importunacy? Pro. I likewife hear, that Valentine is dead. Sil. And fo, fuppofe, am I; for in his grave, Affure thyself, my love is buried. Pro. Sweet lady, let me rake it from the earth. Sil. Go to thy lady's grave, and call her's thence'; Or, at the leaft, in her's fepulchre thine. Jul. [Afide.] He heard not that. Pro. Madam, if that your heart be fo obdurate, And make it but a fhadow, as I am. Sil. I am very loath to be your idol, fir; H. I tell you what Launce, his man, told me, To worship fhadows, and adore faife shapes, le lov'd her out of all nick'. Ji. Where is Launce? Hed. Gone to feek his dog; which, to-morrow, by his master's command, he muft carry for a prefeat to his lady. J. Peace! ftand afide, the company parts. Pra. At Saint Gregory's well. Tes. Farewell. [Exeunt Thurio and mufick. Pro. Madam, good even to your ladyship. [truth, Pro. One, lady, if you knew his pure heart's Pro. Sir Protheus, gentle lady, and your fervant. Pra. That I may compaís yours. Sil. You have your wish; my will is even this,- That haft deceived fo many with thy vows? Send to me in the morning, and I'll fend it: Pro. As wretches have o'er-night, [Exeunt Protheus and Silvia. Jul. Hoft, will you go? Jul. Not fo; but it hath been the longest night [Exeunt. Egl. This is the hour that madam Silvia Entreated me to call, and know her mind; There's fome great matter she'd employ me in. Madam, madam ! Silvia, above at her window. Sil. Who calls? Egl. Your fervant, and your friend; Sil. Sir Eglamour, a thousand times good-morrow, I am thus early come to know what fervice ! Beyond all reckoning or count. Reckonings are kept upon nicked or notched sticks or tallies? * Impofe is injunction, command. It is your pleasure to command me in. Sil. O Eglamour, thou art a gentleman, Nor how my father would enforce me marry thrufts me himfelf into the company of three of four gentlemen-like dogs under the duke's table: he had not been there (blefs the mark) a piffing while, but all the chamber fmelt him. Out with the dog, fays one; Il bat car is that? fays another; Whip him out, fays the third; Hang him up, fays the duke: I, having been acquainted with the smell before, knew it was Crab; and goes me to the fellow that whips the dogs7: Friend, quoth I, you mean to whip the dog? ly, marry, do I, quoth he. You do him the more wrong, quoth I; 'twas I did the thing you wot of. He makes no more ado, but whips me out of the chamber. How many mafters would do this for their fervant? nay, I'll be fworn I have fat in the ftocks for puddings he hath stolen, otherwife he had been executed: I have stood on the pillory for geefe he hath kill'd, otherwife he had fuffer'd for 't: thou think'ft not of this now! -Nay, I remember the trick you ferv'd me, when I took my leave of madam Silvia; did not I bid [plagues. thee still mark me, and do as I do? When did'ft with thou fee me heave up my leg, and make water against a gentlewoman's farthingale ? didst thou ever fee me do fuch a trick? To Mantua, where, I hear, he makes abode; Egl. Madam, I pity much your 3 grievances; Which fince I know they virtuously are plac'd, 1.give confent to go along with you; Recking as little what betideth me, As much I with all good befortune you." When will you go? Sil. This evening coming. Egl. Where fhall I meet you? 翼 Sil. At friar Patrick's cell, Where I intend holy confeffion. Egl. I will not fail your ladyship: Good-morrow, gentle lady. Enter Protheus and Julia. Pro. Sebaftian is thy name? I like thee well, And will employ thee in fome service presently. Jal. In what you please ;—I'll do, fir, what I can. Pro. I hope, thou wilt.-How now, you whorefon peafant, [To Launce Where have you been these two days loitering? Laun. Marry, fir, I carry'd mistress Silvia the dog you bade me.. Pro. And what fays the to my little jewel? Laun. Marry, the fays, your dog was a cur; and tells you, currith thanks is good enough for fuch a prefent. Pro. But the receiv'd my dog? Laun. No, indeed, the did not: here I have Sil. Good-morrow, kind fir Eglamour. [Exeunt. brought him back again. Enter Launce with his dog. | | Pro. What, didft thou offer her this from me? Laun. Ay, fir; the other squirrel was ftol'n from me by the hangman's boy in the market-place: and then I offer'd her mine own; who is a dog as big as ten of yours, and therefore the gift the greater. Pro. Go, get thee hence, and find my dog again, [Exit Launce. When a man's fervant fhall play the cur with him, look you, it goes hard: one that I brought up of a puppy; one that I fav'd from drowning, when three or four of his blind brothers and fifters went to it! I have taught him-even as one would fay precifely, Thus I would teach a dog. 1 was fent to deliver hin, as a prefent to mistress Silvia, from my mafter; and I came no fooner into the dining chamber, but he fteps me to her trencher, and fteals her capon's leg. O, 'tis a foul thing, when a cur cannot keeps himself in all companies! I would have, as one should say, one that takes upon him to be a dog indeed, to be, as it were, a dog at all things. If I had not had more wit than he, to take a fault upon me that he did, Which (if my augury deceive me not) think verily he had been hang'd for 't; fure as I Witnefs good bringing up, fortune, and truth: live, he had fuffer'd for't: you fhall judge. He Therefore know thou, for this I entertain thee. Sebaftian, I have entertained thee, 3 Sorrows. Remorseful is pitiful. 2 It was common in former ages for widowers and widows to make vows of chaitity in honour of their deceafed wives or hufbands. 4 To reck is to care for. 5 That is, reftrain himself. A proverbial expreffion of thofe times. 7 This appears to have been part of the office of an ufher of the table. 8 That is, in the end, at the conclusion of every bufinefs he undertakes. Go |