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widower just now for the seventh time) has in hand "a shilling's worth of advice to any gentleman who is looking for a wife." It is the debtors only-well may they be called "Poor Debtors," who seem on all hands to be neglected. The "olden time" teems with the assertion of their rights -the dramatists of all ages have fed fat upon their exploits, and yet no one rises up to direct the wandering moderns in the path of profit and glory which was trodden by their ancestors. But there is still (as Dr Solomon says) "there is still a balm in Gilead:" I, Mr North, am the Samaritan who shall bind up the wounds of this bleeding and forsaken race! In short, my forthcoming work shall be a neat Pocket Manuel,-a kind, if I may so express myself, of Tailor Tickler's Vade Mecum-by which the student of Bond Street may read his way to the drab coat, as plainly as the student of Lincoln's-Inn reads his way to the stuff gown.

importunate petitioner with a look ;sooth him with a jest, or terrify with an execration; and then give forth a fresh order in such terms of winning pleasantry, that the poor rogue could only giggle-admire-and be undone. Oh, what a "falling off" is there now a-days, my countrymen!

Think of that tailor (he worked for John Dryden,) who could not contain his suits when a good jest was pronounced before him! Where is that tailor now?-He is gone from the shop-board. He has fled like the colour of a kerseymere in the spring.His goose has passed into another hand: it should have died with him! Long as the thread shall woo the needle's

eye!

Long as silk, twist, and buttons, have their

use!

But no; we will not weep. He is gone into Elysium. He wanders through those fields where the cabbages are ever green. He "makes" for Pluto now. But what are we?

Tempora mutantur : et nos, &c. Attorneys, bankers' clerks, and even prentices, owe money now! Yet, writing, as I do, for "Sunday men," and not for these " Sunday gentlemen," fellows for whom the Tread-millclarum si non venerabile nomen-by a stretch of modern genius is made and provided-I will hope that my book will restore the science-the gaye science may I not call it, as the Provençals, for distinction's sake, called their art of poetry ?-to a respectable, nay, even, again to a classical footing.

Then first, as to the means of getting into debt; a point upon which different ages have held different opinions.

Now I shall throw out altogether, in the course of this inquiry, the trading debtor; that is to say, the merchant, dealer, or chapman. I will have no dealings with people who are subject to the bankrupt laws; nor anything to say about" Set off,”—that is, in the sense of the ledger. Neither, on the other hand, will I be of counsel with rogues, or with sharpers, who pass by feigned names, or obtain goods under false pretences. No: I mean to labour exclusively for the benefit of those (a very numerous class in the year 1823,) who find padded coats, and stiff boots, points of indispensable necessity, who cannot possibly "survive" without a " cabriolet," and a "rascal," and who must dine, while "things are," at a coffee-house in Bond Street; but who are careful, notwithstanding, never to incur a particle of debt, without religiously intending to discharge the same-" the very moment they can make it convenient." And it shocks me really, to think, how, for want of some such code as I propose some regulatory system for men to wrong their neighbours by-the practice of indebitation has degenerated of late years. In the days of James and Charles, our chief debtors were the courtiers, men of high fancy, faculty, and breeding, fellows who had always wit, if they had not always money at their command,-who could overpower an_timatum?

Goldsmith (I think it is) gives a specimen of one manner-the" free style"-which was considered effective in his day. "Master, what's your name-damme? Cut me off six yards of that blue velvet, damme. But harkye! Don't fancy that I ever intend to pay you for it-damme."

Of late years the "free style" has fallen rather into disuse; and an improvement, in the way of apparent caution, has been devised. For instance" Six pounds six? That's not a price to suit me, Mr Staytape. Five pounds for the best article; and at the regular credit;—that's my ul

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For my own part, I think the "free" manner was too hastily laid aside. Caution did something while the bloom of novelty was upon it; but in the long run there is nothing like trusting to the natural principal; and the hope of huge gain is the true key to the heart of a shopkeeper.

Whatever style, however, you a dopt, half the battle lies in a proper

introduction of the affair. Never run headlong-open-mouthed, at a tradesman with your proposal;-but keep your design behind you, as a tooth drawer does his wrenching iron,-and let the same roar from your patient announce the developement of your intent and its completion.

Look carefully to the ushering in of the transaction. To use the name of an acquaintance by way of passport would be dishonourable; but, if you can manage to call in the company of a friend, it may do well. You can then be seized with a fancy for the "d-d fellow's cut." He may try" just one coat ;" and, "if it hits,' you'll do something more for him." Give your order, if possible, in the presence of your acquaintance; because that, in fact, makes him bail by implication; and yet he can't, though he sees his danger, for decency's sake, interfere. Above all, take care that the whole appears to arise out of the whim of the moment. Seem to be well served already, but capricious. Lead the creature gently, and he'll follow like a lamb. And be cautious always to take your measures, -or rather to have them taken-in good time; and as you hope for credit, don't go in an old coat to give orders

for a new one.

And what a field does this practice throw open for bold and dexterous manœuvre! Talk of Talavera, Salamanca, or Waterloo? I saw a display of gladiatorship not six weeks ago, between a friend of mine (a half-pay captain) and a tailor in Covent-Garden, such as Agincourt nor Pharsalia ever beheld the like of. He of the needle, to do him justice, was as very a devil as ever sat cross-legged. He had been twenty years in business; dealing with all customers; taking the measures of all kinds of men; he was a member of seven societies for the prosecution of swindlers; a list of insolvents hung behind his counter; it was a bailiff's brother who managed his books; and his eld

est son was clerk to an attorney! My friend opened the ball by paying an arrear of twenty guineas, meaning to "give it" the schneider, (as the phrase is) at least, for a hundred; and the set-to was the sweetest thing I ever beheld in my life! All the high ground was on the enemy's side. The slightest symptom of purpose,-the smallest shew of eagerness anything like a hasty offer, or promise too good to be kept, would have ruined us. But, as good as the tailor was, it was nine to one against him from the beginning. The captain was over him

length and science every way. He gave his large order with detail and precision; stood the hint that followed as to "what credit ?" without changing colour.-The victim doubted. His head was in Chancery."Probable profit;"-" possible loss!" -At length it came to "last cards" on both sides. The Schneider was forced to speak first. "Will you give me a bill for the whole at three months?" he asked-It was well played for the king; but we had the ace behind." I can't do it on a certainty at three months," replied my friend; but you shall have your bill at six.' He bit.

Upon the general management of creditors, my first direction is-see all your duns. When you have made up your mind to pay nothing, what possible risk can you incur?

There is good authority upon the books for receiving such dependants as these at breakfast. Take especial care always to keep about you that cheap corner-stone of credit a handsome, nay, an expensive appearance in trifles. Loll upon a rich sofa-though unpaid for, 'tis no matter. Wear a magnificent dressing-gown-it shall strike awe into the very artist that made it. See that you have a sufficiently expensive tea equipage upon your table ¿ with show of flowers, perfumes, and such perishable commodities as mark the habitual carelessness of money, if not its habitual abundance.

For your manner, let it be easy; yet never so free but that you can be offended on the sudden if you happen to find it convenient. If the enemy is civil, talk of disappointments, low prices, no rents, agricultural distress; these are good topics now. Property in Ireland may always come in well. Whiteboys, Shanavats, outrages, and Captain Rock. You may burn crops

of wheat, if you like, on the bog of Allan; or even have three acres of land and a windmill all carried off your estate in one night! On the other hand, never suffer yourself to be disturbed by an insolent or pertinacious demand. Remember on such occasions that the power is in you. If a fellow is troublesome, tell him plump that "he shall wait three months for his impertinence"-meantime," you withdraw your custom from him altogether" and, if he plagues you a moment longer, " you shall be compelled to kick him down stairs."-Indeed I have known that course taken in the first instance with very admirable effect.

Then, as a rule which deserves to be written in the Fives Court and at Tattersall's, I say-Do things (I say) upon an extensive scale. I will not talk about the proverb of the Sheep and the Lamb, because there is something of an unlucky turn about the first half line of it; but, depend upon it, it is more creditable to owe for claret than for port; besides that the former is the more pleasant and gentlemanly drinking. Tradesmen have, from some instinct in their nature, a predilection, nay, a kind of veneration, for anything that leads to a long bill. I am not sure that a shopkeeper could refuse a 500l. order, even although he were certain that he should never get a shilling of the money. I am clear that he would like a man better for owing him 500l., than for paying him 2501. And as regards arrangements (after the ceremony) with sufferers in esse, the mere circumstance of having issued a command to the amount of a thousand pounds, gives you such a hold upon a tradesman's weakness and bonhommie! He remembers the lordly air with which the order was given. The profits which have accrued-no, which are to accrue, when the money is paid. And he hopes that it will be paid. He thinks it must." Not now, Francis; but to-morrow; or on Friday, Francis." A man never sure can have ordered for five hundred pounds, and have no means at all!-I shall have infinite to say, in my to-beesteemed work, on behalf of an order to the extent of Five hundred pounds.

But I am running this sketch to an impracticable length; and must pass, therefore, in silence, over a variety of important topics. My book will be printed in a neat octavo volume, with

copious index, references, and notes, after the manner of our law digests, along with which, indeed, it will take its place. For example, looking to the article of TAILOR in the index, the reader will find the following instructions:-"TAILOR; from the French, Tailler, to shape or cut. TAILORS, flourished first in Germany, p. 138; pilloried for cabbaging, pp. 42 and 165; men in law, p. 273; have a hell of their own, p. 364; ruined by giving credit, pp. 4, 13, 27, 30, 99, 101, 253; paid, p. 16; humorously cajoled, p. 196; tossed in a blanket, p. 222; felony to kill, p. 391.-TAILOR (Tailleur), see Sufferer; Schneider; Goose; Brentford, &c. &c. &c.

A total change in the conditiona reorganization, indeed-of society must arise, or I am mistaken, from the publication of this work I contemplate. To simplify and extend the means of getting credit, is, in effect, to open a new mine of subsistence to the community. It is not to our home policy alone that the operation of my principle will extend; thousands upon thousands from our superabundant home population shall go forth, not to starve in the back woods of America, but to live upon the fat of the land in the choicest countries of Europe.

Then, considering that the man who once pays for my book will be relieved, as long as he lives, from the necessity of paying for anything else, I

cannot doubt of an unprecedented sale. Thirty English editions at least, and translations out of number; some token of the national gratitude-it can't be less than 20,000l.; these, in a confined view of the matter, are profits which I may reckon upon. I look that, Mr Editor, your numerous contributors (more than any set of men perhaps interested in this new prospect thrown open), will send you at least an article a-piece upon the occasion. For myself, I can accept nothing beyond approbation from my fellow-craft; but, if "a particular ballad," in the pages of Blackwood's Magazine, should commend the true alchemist of the year 1823, who abandoned the hopeless task of making gold, and pursued the true secret of philosophy-that of doing without itsuch a tribute might perhaps ease the grateful hearts of those who offered it; and (in that view) would not be unacceptable to

PIERRE PHILOSOPHZ.

The Pewter Quart.

A New Song to an old Tuns.

Written and Composed for the Hollification of Bibbers of Beer, Porter, Ale, Stout, Nappy,

And all other Configurations of Malt and Hop.

Preface to the Reader, which serves also for Invocation.
Gentle Reader!

Poets there were, in ages back,

Who sung the fame of the bonny Black Jack;
Others tuned harmonious lays

En the Leathern Bottle's praise;

Shall not E then lift my quill,

To bymn a measure brighter still?

Maidens, who Helicon's hill resort,

aid me to chaunt of the Pewter Quart.

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A DISSERTATION ON THE LEATHER BOTTLE AND THE BLACK JACK.

In the works of the ingenious D'Urfey, which he who studies not with nocturnal and diurnal attention, is worthy of infinite reprobation, not to say worse, will be discovered two poems, which have not, as yet, excited the notice of the learned in the manner which they deserve. I shall therefore, as briefly as the importance of the matter will admit of, dissertate somewhat upon them; inviting the attention of the sage and erudite to my remarks; perfectly regardless of the approbation or disapprobation of those whom my friend, the Reverend Edward Irving, calls " the flush and flashy spirits of the age;" thereby making an agreeable and euphuistical alliteration at head and tail.

In the third volume of " Pills to Purge Melancholy," the two hundred and forty-seventh page, and first verse, will be found these words:

The Leather Bottle.

Now God above, that made all things,
Heaven and earth, and all therein;
The ships upon the seas to swim,
To keep foes out, they come not in.
Now every one doth what he can
All for the use and praise of man.

-

X wish in Heaven that soul may dwell
That first devised the leathern bottle.

A more splendid exordium is not in the whole compass of our poetry. The bard, about to sing of a noble invention, takes high ground. His eye, with a fine frenzy rolling, glances at the origin of the world, the glories of Heaven,

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