Her mother, after this interview, expressed herself as much more satisfied. As I thought this would in all probability be her last day on earth, I called again in the evening, and sat with her for upwards of an hour. Of this interview I will give as clear and full a detail as memory will afford. May the Lord the Spirit as the Remembrancer help me, and may what I write be not only according to truth, and in exact conformity with what actually took place; but may it please Him to make use of this humble instrumentality to the glory of a Triune God, and to the edification, and refreshing, and comfort, of any poor sinner into whose hands this simple record may fall. 66 When I entered the room on the above evening, I found the dear sufferer still lower. She was evidently fast sinking. Every few minutes only the white of the eye was to be seen, and it was clear that at each such interval consciousness was gone. Then she would as it were come back, and, opening her full eye upon the bystanders, would become perfectly sensible. "Do you know me ?" Yes." I then repeated, at different intervals, sundry passages, and spoke of Christ Himself having gone through the dark valley before her, and having snatched away the sting of death, which was sin; that now those who were "looking to Jesus" could say, "O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? The sting of death is sin, and the strength of sin is the law; but thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." Her weakness now became so great, that she looked to her kind and deeply-attentive mother to change her position a little; but she immediately added," Never mind, mother." It was holiday time, and the railway trains hard by, together with the screeching of the engines, were making a sad noise. The boys, too, at her very door (her room being on the ground-floor) were at play in the street, and exceedingly troublesome : she heard all, but still remained unmoved. I could but think of the contrast of those pleasure-takers without to the scene I was witnessing within. It led me to speak of the noisy, bustling world in contrast with that where there are "No rude alarms of raging foes, No cares to break the long repose; I forget the different Scriptures which at intervals I quoted, but among them was that from Isaiah xliii." When thou passest through the waters I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned, neither shall the flames kindle upon thee." It was just about this time, and in direct answer to one of these Scriptures, that she made a remark which, together with its effects, I think I shall never forget. She was at the time in the most entire prostration. She had not the slightest power over her frame. If her leg was moved her mother must move it for her, she could not of herself. Her arm was simply all she could move. She had not taken so much as twopenny-worth of bread for six months, her mother said; she had been kept alive by liquids and little stimulants. She was the merest skeleton; the skin hardly covered her bones. For weeks before, as 1 had been informed, it had broken through, but withal there was not, as far as I heard, the slightest semblance of a murmur. But now, in these circumstances, and with the deathrattle in her throat, she suddenly said, upon the quoting of one of the Scriptures to which I have alluded, “It is gone." What is gone?" said I. My weak spirit." What do you mean? "I was weak," she replied, "but now the Lord has strengthened me." And it was evident in her countenance and from her whole bearing that He had done so. Oh, with what power that word from that dying one's lips came. It was such a reality. It afforded such a blessed proof of what the Lord was able to do in the very swellings of Jordan. There was such a triumphing over the extremest weakness, and such a perfect calm. I felt the power of that word, and it 66 Whatever doubts or fears about this case I may have had aforetime, they were now all removed. I felt this sweet word, and this blessed assurance, could be only from the Lord Himself. That was not the time, those not the circumstances, for deception, or the playing a part. It was evidently reality. Her poor anxious mother, standing by, felt the force of that sweet word, "The Lord has strengthened me." I now unhesitatingly strove to pour in of the oil and the wine of Divine consolation. I had striven before to the utmost to probe and to try and to test. I had again and again quoted David's words, "Search me, O God, and know my heart: prove me, and know my thoughts, and see if there be any wickedness in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." Can you say that?" again and again had I asked. "Yes," she would say. 66 "Nothing in my hands I bring, Simply to thy cross I cling.' "Is that your language ?" "Yes," was the answer.› "Jesus, Thy blood and righteousness My beauty are, my glorious dress, 'Midst flaming worlds in these arrayed, With joy shall I lift up my head."` She responded in the same heartfelt way; and, though her words were few, they were evidently followed by the most fervent mental ejaculations. Continually was she to be seen looking up in simple earnest prayer. Once, on the last day she spent on earth, when I quoted the verse, "There is a fountain filled with blood," she seemed, as it were, to grasp that word blood. Blood," she whispered to herself, "blood." As much as to say, “That's it; there's my hope." But to return. I now felt I dared not doubt; and I did my utmost to minister consolation. "Your sufferings will soon be over. A little more faith, and a little more patience. The worst is over. I don't think you will suffer, but simply sleep or glide away." She said something about the death-struggle, but was cheered in a moment from the hope that it would be nothing. "One moment in heaven,” said I, “and you would forget a thousand years' sufferings on earth. Oh, think of what awaits you-where you are going to-who you will see. Jesus, face to face; not as the Man of Sorrows now; not sweating great drops of blood falling down to the ground; not in His dying agonies; but on His throne! The Lamb on the throne! Shall I read a verse or two about it ?" "Do." "And I saw no temple therein; for the Lord God Almighty and the Lamb are the temple of it. And the city had no need of the sun, neither of the moon, to shine in it; for the glory of GOD did lighten it, and the Lamb is the light thereof." "What are these which are arrayed in white robes? and whence came they? And I said unto him, Sir, thou knowest. And he said to me, These are they which came out of great tribulation, and have washed their robes, and made them white in the blood of the Lamb. Therefore are they before the throne of God, and serve Him day and night in His temple and He that sitteth on the throne shall dwell among them. They shall hunger no more, neither thirst any more; neither shall the sun light on them, nor any heat. For the Lamb which is in the midst of the throne shall feed them, and shall lead them unto living fountains of waters: and God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes." God Himself to wipe away all tears from their eyes! Don't you think that's worth waiting "Yes." for, and suffering for ?" "Yet a season, and we know And earth exchang'd for heaven." "Would you come back ?” "Not for fifty worlds," she said. "Not for the crown of England ?" "No," said she; "that would bring trouble with it, and I should not know the future; but I do know my future." 66 Once she spoke of the night she had before her, and seemed to dread it. Oh," said I, "I don't think you will see to-morrow morning." "Don't you? oh, the Lord grant it, if it is His blessed will. I should be so glad not to open my eyes upon this world tomorrow morning.' When I repeated the lines, "Jesus can make a dying-bed, Feel soft as downy pillows are, While on His breast I lean my head, And breathe my life out sweetly there," she exclaimed, "Beautiful;" and again when I quoted the verse, "There shall I bathe my weary soul In seas of heavenly rest; she said again, "Beautiful." "Shall I pray with you once more?" "Do, please." I did so, simply committing and commending her to the Lord, and, a little before nine o'clock, bidding her "look to Jesus," wished her good-bye, believing our next meeting would be in eternity. She thanked me heartily for visiting her, and shook my hand affectionately, saying, “Good-bye." Next morning, the closed shutter told me the conflict had ceased, and that all was over. Upon reaching the house, I found she only tarried in this vale of tears a little more than two hours after I left her. " Mother," said she, "get your supper quickly, and I shall soon go after that," and so it was, for about eleven o'clock, without a struggle, and scarcely a sigh, she fell asleep in Jesus. Blessed, blessed be His great and glorious name! Wayside Notes. SELF SUMMED UP AND CHRIST LIFTED UP. "He must increase and I must decrease."--JOHN iii. 30. THE Christian, as he advances in divine experience, will find out that one of the greatest enemies to his spiritual growth is "self." "O wretched man that I am!" said the apostle, "who shall deliver me from this body of sin and death?" But some will say, "Is there not something exceedingly good in self?” We, for one, have never found it, and must therefore bear_testimony to the truth of the Scripture, which sums up self thus: "From the sole of the foot even unto the head there is no soundness in it, but wounds and bruises and putrifying sores." Others will say, 66 Ah, depend upon it human nature is better than you take it to be!" We reply, facts that are coming to light daily certainly do not bear out the dogma of creature excellency. No, reader, human nature, if put in the balance, even though it be dressed in the highest morality, will be found wanting. For our own part, we have no confidence in the flesh, and we pray that the creature may decrease in our experience, and Christ become all and in all. And satisfied we are that he who thinks highly of self, does not realize the fact of the fall and its results. Reader, feeling its effects personally, do we not cease to look for any good in the creature, and are we not learning that self assumes various and opposing influences to our comfort and growth in grace? There is (1) sinful self-for we find out to our cost that the old Adam nature is within still, even after we have received a sense of pardoning love and mercy. The lusts of the flesh, and a large company of evils, abide in the town of Mansoul, even after Emanuel has driven Diabolus out of the castle. Sin "dwelleth in me," is the acknowledgment of the beloved apostle, who yet could say, "For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Yes, it is on the one hand a glorious fact that if the Lord's, we have within us a sinless nature, that nothing can destroy, while at the same time it is a painful fact that the old nature is within still. "Poor wretched, worthless worm! In what sad plight I stand, When good I would perform, And this old nature shows itself often in the form of— 2. Righteous Self-It is a difficult matter for human nature really to feel that there is not some good in the creature. There is sometimes the acknowledgment that there is none; but the actions prove that there is still a clinging to the old rags of creature righteousness. And this supposed goodness is the root of the ten thousand errors that exist in the present day, which lead men under the name of religion into countless vagaries and follies. Let a man feel that he has no righteousness of his own, and he will be kept to the simplicity of the truth as it is in Jesus, but not otherwise. "Oh, to be found in Him," says the apostle, "not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ- the righteousness which is of God by faith!" It is a mercy for us, beloved, if we have been taught the lesson of man's nothingness, and that "Christ must be all and all." And then another rearing up of the old nature will often be in the form of 3. Proud Self." My soul shall weep in secret places for my pride," said the Prophet Jeremiah; and how painful it is to see those who profess to be Christians lifting up their heads in a proud and lofty spirit! But so, alas! it is. If anything like success in connexion with one's business, oh, how pride is engendered; and what a creature greatness is often felt, while worldlymindedness, creeping over us, estrangeth us from our God! Or again If anything like success in connection with the spreading of the truth, what a difficult thing it is to keep pride of heart down; although personally we can say that in a great measure grace has subdued pride in this matter, for, when we get a testimony that the Lord has been pleased to bless the poor intrument, the tear of gratitude starts to the eye, and the heart becomes melted and humbled before the Lord at the thought of His great condescension in bringing strength out of perfect weakness. Still pride clings so to poor human nature, and in some cases even to the last, as it was with Hezekiah, of whom it is said that after all his mercies he was lifted up with pride of heart. Oh, to be delivered from this noxious evil, and to walk humbly before the Lord. And, then, another form of evil we have to contend with is 4. Rebellious Self.-If things do not go on just as we would have them, we think God is dealing hardly with us. We say His mercy is clean gone for ever, and thus utter an impossibility in the spirit of rebellion. Jonah carried things with a high hand indeed, when the Lord said unto him, "Doest thou well to be angry for the gourd ?" He replied, "I do well to be angry, even unto death." This is a wretched spirit to get into, and destructive of all peace and prosperity of soul. Well may the Psalmist say, "The rebellious dwell in a dry land." Yes, indeed they are brought into great barrenness of soul-absorbed with their miseries, they forget their mercies. O Thou passive, meek, loving Lamb of God, who never rebelled against the Father's will, but became "obedient unto death," make us more like Thyself— "O my Lord, one look from Thee And Thy rebellious worm is still." And further, the uprisings of creature-will shows itself in 5. Worrying Self.-Oh, how many Marthas there are in the Lord's family that are "cumbered about many things." How many there are of the Lord's children, that morning, noon, and night are always on the worry and fret. How sweet is the mild expostulation of our Lord to such, "And which of you by taking thought can add to his stature one cubit? If ye then be not able to do that thing which is least, why take ye thought for the rest? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, they spin not: and yet I say unto you, that Solomon, in all his glory, was not arrayed like one of these." And then lower down in that precious chapter, "Seek ye not what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink, neither be ye of doubtful mind." And again, "Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom." And yet, alas, with all these hallowed "seek nots" and "fear nots," we often worry as much as ever. Ah, and worry, too, about the veriest trifles of time, as if time was to last for ever. This state of self greatly impoverishes the soul, mars the comfort, and hinders growth in grace. Let us put up at the throne of grace such desires as these: "O Thou, who didst bid the winds and waves Peace, be still,' and they obeyed Thee, settle my discomposed mind, and quiet my troubled breast, and bring me to see the light of Thy countenance, and the joy of Thy salvation." Beloved, is it not the case, that worrying self cripples and cramps the Christian beyond measure, and prevents anything like liveliness or vigour in connexion with eternal things? We have need, then, to pray that grace may keep it under. And then there is another form of temptation even worse than this, viz. :6. Temper Self-Oh, how painful it is to see the Christian giving way to temper at the veriest trifles, and yet how common! We know that this may sometimes proceed from bodily disease and suffering; then it cannot be helped, and must be borne with,-but often it is otherwise. Oh, when temper-self is felt rising in unbecoming outbursts, we do well to check it with the cry, Grace, Lord! grace, Lord!" How mild and meek was our blessed Redeemer throughout His earthly career; what an example for us!_O thou precious One, save us from inbred sins; drive everything out, Thou stronger Man armed, that dishonours thee; curb our temper and make us child-like; subdue our wills and make them absorbed in Thine; check all uprising of self, and be Thou our all and in all. Now these varied inward evils, which prove "sin dwelleth in us," bring the soul into prison, and wrap it in clouds and darkness. Our mercy |