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The mansion was an ancient-looking ruin, Moreover, he'd some inkling of astrology A lone, unshapely, moss-clad, tottering And used, at times, a powerful logic ham. tower ;
mer ; And, certes, ne'er romantic artist drew one He read the arguments upon theology, Half so expressive of time's awful power. And echoed each polemic's noisy clamour; The lady ne'er could think upon a new one, He could repeat the table of chronology, Though many a hint she got from wind Without one hesitation, stop, or stammer: and shower,
In short, his knowledge was a mental olio, And though the garret seem'd inclin'd to Whose very index would fill up a folio.
pitch in Some sudden visit to the inviting kitchen. But oft his wits would go to gather wool ;
Sometimes his wisdom was obscure and Yo wish had he to hunt the fox or hare,
hazy ; He thought, with me, that there was The first would make him blunder like a something rude in't ;
fool, But, when he got his lands, another care
The second made most people think him His mind pursued, more rational and
crazy ; prudent:
Too busy now to let his dinner cool, In short (though you may laugh) he did And then to eat it, while 'twas warm, too repair
lazyBack to his native town-became a stu.
Mistaking for a mushroom some large dent
fungus, And fagg'd as hard as if he meant to pur. And calling good tobacco-mere mundunchase
gus ! The pulpit of the richest of our churches. He studied at the King's, or Alton, College, The mind a sheet of paper (say good pot,)
All this can be accounted for by calling To wbich, for certain reasons, he was partial;
Whereon th’unguarded pen has long been Not that it whets, with better hone, the
scrawling dull age
Sideways and crossways, till 'tis all one
blot. Of nature's witty weapon than the Ma. rischal :
Perhaps upon the sheet wit has been fall. In both, the file-like discipline of knowledge,
But, is it legible ? I say 'tis not To fine poetic feelings must be harshall:
There is no use your studious pen to
brandishHowever, as I took degrees neither, I shall not venture to enlarge on either.
To soil the leaves, you should upset the
standish. Soon was his mind imbued with classic learning,
With all this mass of heterogeneous matter, And soon he scann'd the page of Greek Dan Duffe return'd unto his home in and Latin,
quiet : For which his bowels ay began a yearning Although much wiser, yet by no means Whene'er the cock proclaim'd the winter fatter matin.
Than when he fed upon his quondam diet ; Think well of this, Collegians! whose For love and study keep a meagre platter, discerning
And give small room for knife and fork Is bounded to the skill of silk and satin.-- to riot : I've known, in En'bro', students leave a But, having brows'd so long on learning's lecture,
trees, Wise as the daws that build in th' archi. He needs must chew the cud a while at
tecture. In mathematics he fell very deep, His mortal food, indeed, was plain and And could have written lemma well, or simple; scholium ;
for breakfast-porridge ; rarely tea or He had, besides, a philosophic heap
coffee : Of instruments, as compass-quadrant- His barley-broth had never made him column.
limp ill, He knew if tides would turn out spring So that he had to give the doctor no fee.
His liquor never give his face a pimple, Without applying to that annual volume That brilliant gem which is the toper's Hight Almanack, and sometimes Paddy's trophy ; Watch,
And gout and pleurisy are seldom put on la which the times, before they come, me
The same dish with a serag of Highland catch.
Timo now had plough'd some furrows His other necessary part of dress o'er his forehead,
Was plush-blue plush, of rather large And from his cheeks had stol'n the youth- dimension ; ful roses ;
I do not name the thing, but you may Yet there was nothing in his aspect horrid,
guess As maybe some young lady now supposes. To what small-clothes I beg your kind The promontory of his face not torrid,
attention. Like those who smear with claret their Names are odd things, and 'tis a great red noses.
distress Gaunt, though athletic_muscular, though When things have names so under repremeagre,
hension, With sharp, grey eyes-expressive, quick, That you must hint, and shist, and can't
When you might tell your meaning all in Full forty years he kept beneath his tiles, His study being as a cell or prison is, And seldom walking farther than two
No pilgrim's staff had he to trudge withal ; miles,
A large umbrella did supply its place!
His sandal shoon, from Crispin's little stall,
tains trace ;
He had no scallop:-30 we scarce can call His brain was seiz'd with some romantic Dan Duffe a pilgrim, with a decent grace; dizziness;
Yet these are trifling things that scarcely And he resolv'd to quit his hermit desk, signify ; And wander forth to view the picturesque! For dress should neither humble one nor
dignify. There's no accounting for the whims of people,
It was upon a gentle morn of June Especially at sixty ; when the mind,
When he did wend his lonely pilgrim-way; Though creeking like the vane upon a
The birds did chant in most melodious steeple,
tune, Turns with the various shiftings of the
And nature all was innocent and gay : wind.
ween it had been well nigh unto noon, Dan Duffe, upon the thought of this, did
When he espied the towers so old and grey, sleep ill,
And eke the housen tops of safe St MaUntil he had resolv'd what he design'd;
char, To visit town and city-plain and moun.
Which gladden'd much the bosom of our tain
walker. Church, palace, ruin, cataract, and fountain. He pass'd through Grandholm's valea
while he gaz'd, For this, he dress'd himself from top to toe,
As when you look upon a lovely picture, More spruce and sprig than any far or Whose features time has scarcely yet near ;
eras'd, His shirt-a little whiter then the snow,
Though fading mem'ry may have fail'd, With a fine ruff that reach'd from ear to or trick'd your ear;
Ideas into error.
- He, amaz'd, His hat had been a new one long ago ; Stood for a moment, and, with careless Its shape and colour making it appear
stricture, Of such a fashion as we now make sport on, Beheld the varied scene of calm and bustle, But famous in the days of Regent Morton. And in a grin half-rais'd his labial muscle. His jerken was of velvet, richly garnished He pass'd the old cathedral, in whose With very fine embroidery of gold;
yard Grand in its day, though now a little tar- His parents layi-he walk'd round to the nished,
portal Because it really was a little old : He shook its iron ribs in vain-'twas His velvet vest had buttons finely var- barr'd, nisoed
As if it would not ope to living mortal. By his old aunt (if we belicve what's Between the balustrades he studied hard told :)
To see the epitaphs, much of a sort all : Besides, his knees were nicely trimm'd He read his parents-aunt-and thenwith buckles,
“ Here lies". And frills reach'd from his wristband to Bless me! his mistress !-sorrow, groans, his knuckles.
He pass'd the College, with its pretty And, though your pügrims often chose a towers;
cavern, 'Twas silent, dull, and drear, beyond ex- Ours, near the bridge of Dee, sits in a pression :
tavern. In various seasons we have various flowers, And buds of science bloom not till the
Next Canto shall be rife with scenes of session :
beauty, He pass'd his father's house, where youth. Sublimity, and grandeur ; mountains, ful hours
plains, Made play and pastime all their soft pro
Besides some things in poetry quite new fession :
t'ye, Alas! the door of that low habitation
Which we've collected for our future Was crowded with a stranger's generation.
Meantime, we think it our especial duty He pass'd through Aberdeen (I mean the
To thank the reader for his patient pains : New)
The muse is tir'd and jaded ; so I'll stop By Gallowgate and Broad-street, and the
And you may do whatever you think Wide, half-built Union Street, though fair
proper. to view, He view'd with calm indifference. Vexa. tious!
LONDON THEATRICAL CORRESPONSince the proud townsmen in its praises due,
DENCE. Are somewhat tiresome, fuolish, and loquacious.
London, 1st January. He pass'd the Denburn Bridge, with deep gulf under,
I DARE say, Mr Editor, some of Look'd o'er the parapetit mov'd-no your readers, from my late taciturniFonder.
ty, fancy I am dead. Two months
without a theatrical letter from one All these he pass'd; yet no one human
who seems to have so much pleasure face
in writing about plays, play-houses, Saw he, remembering to have seen before! and players ! Nothing but the siNot word spoke he, since he began to lence of the grave could have made trace
him silent! Then, as to the mode His pilgrim journey from his castle door. and manner of my death, the conjecAlas! how soon the men of dust give tures will have been various, nodoubt: place
perhaps dead of disappointment, havTo their own frail epitomes ! fourscore
ing taken to the stage myself, and Is foreign in the town of its nativity
finding I can do no better than Mr Who then would wish for wearisome
Barnard or Mr Penley: perhaps longevity?
squeezed to death in the crowd, on the What is our life? some call it a poor play, re-opening of Drury-Lane Theatre; Fild with strange scenes of happiness
or perhaps shot in a duel with my and sorrow :
friend (or rather enemy) Mr Atkins, Methinks 'tis but a short and varied day, of nose notoriety, and who, it may Begirt by yesterday and by to-morrow. be remembered, (as I take all responThis thing I know; we're always made sibility upon myself, and thereby repay
lighten the burden of the Editor,) To Mem'ry, what from Hope we beg and sent me a challenge, because I comborrow;
pared him, in this respect only, to We ask the time before it is our own, Lord Monboddo and Tom Paine. I And never know its presence till 'tis knew very well that Mr Atkins had fown.
been entrusted by the Manager of But I am getting serious : 'tis a sign
Covent-Garden with a pistol, when That we are near the close of this first he played one of Macheath's comsection ;
panions in the “ Beggars' Opera; Although we're not much nearer to our
but I did not know that he would shrine,
entrust himself with one in a duel, Having trod slowly, and in bent direction. recollecting what an unmissable mark There is a certain hour when folks should his nose must be, especially in prodine,
file. I almost wish I had accepted And Dan for dinner now feels no objection ; his “ daring to the field,” for since
my refusal, I find that he threatens sive subject. How I shall be able lustily, and I am of Seneca's opinion to pacify Mr Atkins I know not, in Thyestes,
especially if it be true, according to Pejor est bello timor ipse belli. the Latin epigrammatist, that NaIn the mean time, whatever course
sus est sodes ira. Mr Atkins may think fit to take, let
Let it satisfy the reader, then, to him console himself with the follow. learn, that I am yet in the land of ing stanza, from the Opere Burlesche
the living, and it satisfies me to of Berni, one of the merriest fellows know, that, during the interval in
which I have been silent, very little of his day, and who thus answered a man who found fault with his “nasal has been gone at either of our great promontory:”
theatres worth saying much about.
At Covent-Garden, indeed, the Ma" I have a 'nose, you say, and very true
nager has produced two new pieces, it is; A glorious, hook'd, capacious kind of one!
and one new performer. The first Many would give me very large annuities
of these was a comic opera, called But for a quarter of it-for they've none.
“ Maid Marian,” founded upon a I own myself, that bigger far than two it is; novel of the same name, and got up, But all that you can say when you have
as is asserted, by the same author. done,
There was nothing new in it, but Is like a hollow drum, that I can thump it; ingenuity in the adaptation to the And for my fame I need no other trum- stage and the music, by which it
was set off to great advantage. We I would give the original, but I doubt might just as well criticise the novel if Mr A. understands Italian. For
as the play, there was so little difhis benefit, (not his theatrical bene, has been some time in the hands of all
ference between them; and the novel fit,) and because it is in English, I readers of productions of that kind. will transcribe here a curious from an old play, called “ Ram Al- There was certainly a good deal of ley," written more than two hundred and the acting and singing of Miss
life and entertainment in the piece, years ago, by one Barrey.
M. Tree (in breeches, as usual,) 66 I tell thee what, made it go off very pleasantly: C. A witty woman may with ease distinguish Kemble also accomplished much for All men by their noses, as thus : your it: when he does not go out of his
way, and strive to attain what is Tuscan, is lovely, large, and broad,
beyond his power and capacity, he is Much like a goose : your valiant, gene- more than a respectable actor. I am A crooked, smooth, and a great puffing his attempting Coriolanus, Brutus,
glad to hear nothing further about Your scholars nose is very fresh and raw,
Cato, Hainlet, Macbeth, &c.; parts For want of fire in winter, and quickly which, it was threatened at the opensmells
ing of the winter theatres, he would His chops of mutton in his dish of por.
assume: indeed he tried Hamlet ridge."
once, and only once.
This reminds me of an anecdote I leave Mr A. to apply this quota- told of another of my theatrical tion, and to determine whether his friends, Mr Claremont. " Well, be a Tuscan nose, « inuch like a Mr Claremont,” said John Kemble goose," or a “valiant, generous nose. to him one day, “ where have you If I were to decide, I should certain- been during the summer?” I ly say the latter ;--whichever it be, have been performing in the counhe may truly say with the parodist try." “ Where, pray, Mr Clareof King David
mont, and what parts ?” “Why, “My nose, the glory of my face," &c.
Sir," replied Claremont, advaneing,
as on the stage, one manly leg, However, I have now pretty nearly “at Oakhampton I played Macbeth run my friend's nose off its legs, (for at Dunstable, Coriolanus-and at Mr A.'s are not so much the legs of Spinham-Lane, Hamlet, twice."his body as his nose), and for the “What! Mr Claremont,” cried John, present I must quit this very exten- “Hamlet twice-twice in one place?"
After this incident it was that Kem- Of the respective inerits of Kean ble advanced Mr Claremont to the and Young, who have at length aprank of the Duke in Romeo and Ju- peared on the London boards togeliet, a character he has always since ther, I should be inclined to say more, represented with great applause. if my sheet were not so nearly filled.
A tragedy, under the title of “ The It is the less necessary, however, not Huguenot," was also brought out at only because they are both so well Covent-Garden. The style of the known, but because I have seen no language may be instantly guessed criticism upon them, froin the penny from the fact that it was written by " Theatrical Observer,” up to the Mr Shiel, an Irish young gentleman, three and six-penny “ New Monthwho had the advantage, in his formerly," that is not, in general, very judiproductions, to be assisted by the rare cious: the styles of these two actors talents of Miss O'Neil. Her_place are extremely different, and the diswas now supplied by Miss F. H. tiuctions obvious. Othello is the onKelly, (I beg her parilon if I do not ly tragedy in which they have been give her initials correctly,) the new pitted against each other, and there actress to whom I alluded." She is a they can hardly be said to have been young lady of very considerable abi- fairly pitted in“ fearful opposition,” lity; but in the London papers and because the leading characters are so magazines, she has been injudicious- totally dissimilar. Kean has played ly over-rated. She first came out Othello, and Young only lago, wherewith great success as Juliet; then as if they had changed parts on alshe played a part in “ The Hugue- ternate nights, a judgment might not," and, lastly, she appeared as have been better formed on their Rutland in “The Earl of Essex.” respective talents. I freely admit The last character did not please the with, I believe, the public at large, public as much as was expected, and the superiority of Kean; but I think Mr Shiel's tragedy is already among
undue fault has been found, in some the dead, though it had the good quarters, with Young's lago, on the fortune to escape being among the score that he makes the villany too damned. The story was romantic, glaring and obtrusive. Shakespeare more fit for a melo-drama than a tras clearly meant these two persons to be gedy; but some of the incidents were contrasted; the generosity and openoffensive, though a good deal knowness of Othello was to be set off by the ledge of stage-effect was displayed in low-mindedness and wilyness of lago; the situations. Mr Shiel would write and on our stages, as at present conmuch better could he once be per- structed, the distinction must be suaded that highly-wrought, butcom- made broadly, or it will not be permon-place similes do not belong ceived at all. The error is, when a to dramatic poetry, if indeed they clumsy actor makes the character of belong to any poetry at all. Mr Mac- Iago appear so hideously deforined, ready (who was announced as “from that even Othello could not mistake a tour in Italy") supported the prin- it. I deny that Mr Young went so cipel male character very ably: he far as this, though perhaps, to one or has since done very little.
two of the questions he put to OthelThe head Manager and “ sole lo, he gave rather too much emphaLessee of the Theatre-Royal Drury- sis. On the whole, his may be proLane," has brought out no new nounced the best lago on the stage, piece, excepting an Opera, the title excepting Kean's, and it is a real of which is of little importance, treat to see their strength combined (though quite as important as either in the support of sɔ magnificent a the dialogue or music,) and a farce, tragedy. for the purpose of introducing Miss Ben vi siete accoppiate, io giurerci." Clara Fisher, " the infant protligy,"
London, 6th January. to the audience of a winter house. Of her I have before spoken, and it The following most important bulis judiciously stated in the bills, that letin has just been published in all she is only engaged “ for children's the newspapers. T'he subject to parts." Braham sung in the Opera, which it relates is of such deep in. but he could not do every thing.' terest, that I cannot omit it: it is en