ministers and ministers' wives. Mr. Smith says, that harmony has always characterized this mission; and I pray that it always may.

"Another thing which I might have mentioned in connection with our benevolent feelings, or rather the interruption of them; if the people were cleanly in their habits, it would be more pleasant to have them about our persons. I often think of the Saviour, surrounded as he was by a multitude of the lower classes and you know his disciples sometimes objected to this. Mr. Bird says, 'No doubt they were just such dirty beings as we see all the time.' In character and in taste, the females are like children; would that I could say, in comparative innocence also.

"I have suffered some alternations of feeling in my rcligious hopes since I left America; which I believe is not unusual with missionaries, before they have acquired the language of the people to whom they go. I can enter feelingly into St. Paul's opinion of himself, thus expressed, though I have scarcely any of his zeal, 'I am not meet to be called an apostle.' So sacred appears my calling, that I feel wholly unfit to sustain it; and I have not those clear views of the Saviour's love that I wish. Perhaps when I am able to speak of him to others, a livelier flame will be kindled in my own breast. Pray much for me, dear sister."

A deep sense of personal responsibility is exhibited in the following extract:

"This is the day of the Monthly Concert, and according to the custom of this mission, a Fast also with us. It was a solemn season. Dr. Dodge remarked, that in addition to the guilt of the church as a body, for which we should humble ourselves before God, our individual guilt called for the deepest abasement. If,' said he, 6 we had been faithful servants of Christ from early childhood, how

many

souls we might have aided in introducing into the kingdom We had each of us been more or less associated

of heaven.

with schools, academies, and colleges; and how many of our companions were now living in rebellion against their Maker, or had already commenced their long lamentation of wo, in the world of darkness, that might have been saved through our efforts.' It was an overwhelming consideration to us all; and each heart feelingly, and with tears, responded to the suggestion, that personal guilt, in reference to the souls of men, rendered fasting an appropriate accompaniment to the duties of this interesting day. Since the meeting closed, in the solitude of retirement, I have wept bitterly at the remembrance of my own sins; and in the light of the truth which emanates from the pages of inspiration, my heart seems now to be harder than the nether millstone. Oh! how we shall view this subject in eternity, when worldly snares and associations cease their blinding influence !

"Some parts of your letter affected me powerfully. The scenes to which you allude of 1829 — when so many of the descendants of our venerated grand-parent were found sitting at the fountain of salvation, from which he derived all his support are indelibly imprinted upon my memory; but I knew not, until your letter informed me, that I was in any measure instrumental in leading you to the foot of the cross. Let all the glory be ascribed to Him who there bled for you. I beg you will not regard me, as missionaries are often regarded, too holy to need your prayers. Believe me, dear Hannah, I never required them so much, and never, never felt my own deficiencies as I now do; and were it not for the feeble hold which my soul takes on a Saviour's mercy, I should sink down into despair and wo. Forget not this, at least on Tuesday evenings."

"BEYROOT, MAY 20.

"Our warm weather has commenced earlier than usual here, and we have now your July heat. I bear it very well as yet. The abundant and brilliant foliage of this spot is a constant source of admiration to me. The lilac tree, or

pride of India, is now in blossom, also the pomegranate. The latter mamma once had, but it was little more than a shrub. Here they are of the size of peach trees, and their bright scarlet blossoms form a beautiful contrast with the rich green of the leaves. The kharoob tree and luxuriant grape vines, besides many other verdant productions, add beauty to the scene. The cactus is now in blossom, its flower a bright yellow. This latter lines every path, forming an arch and a pleasant shade, under which I pass every afternoon, as my donkey bears me to school.

"May 21.—It is ten months to-day, since my marriage; and the period has flown by with incredible swiftness. We commemorate the event, on every returning month, by a concert of prayer with Mr. and Mrs. Perkins, (who were married on the same day, and were our fellow-passengers across the Atlantic,) in behalf of the officers and crew of the brig George.

"May 22. If you wish to know with what we are most occupied, it is Arabic. If you ask, 'What beside?' like the Indian in another case, I can say, A little more Arabic; and 'What else?' A little more Arabic. With Mrs. Bird's children, it is like their mother tongue; particularly with the youngest, who is about five years of age. She speaks it more readily than the English.

May 28. While it requires but a short time to enable one to transact ordinary business in this language, it is long before such a knowledge can be obtained as to make religious conversation intelligible and profitable. For this I am exceedingly anxious, as I long to use my feeble talents in urging sinners to flee to the ark of safety; and I wish you would make it your constant prayer, that I may live to accomplish something in this way. In prayers that are offered for missionaries, I think the obstacles arising from the confusion of tongues, have been overlooked.

"This is the birth day of the king of England, and the flag of every Consul is waving in the breeze; among which the stars and stripes of our own happy country appear con

spicuous, and upon which I love to look. Every Sabbath they are to be seen likewise.

66

'June 11. Mr. Smith and I have just taken a walk by a well of water, at the time of the evening, even the time that women go out to draw water,' where we found a group ofdamsels,' doubtless exhibiting the same appearance as those who performed the same offices thousands of years ago. We stopped and conversed with them a little, and they offered us drink from the 'pitcher,' or jar. I have seen in Syria some very beautiful women, whose noble features and richness of complexion have led me to imagine how Sarah, Rebecca, and Rachel looked. I have often, in my .etters, alluded to the satisfaction which the Scriptures afford me in the unchangeable East,' as this country has been proverbially styled. Imagine with what peculiar feelings you would peruse them, if such localities as the banks of the Shetucket, the Falls, the Pine-tree, were mentioned, as the scenes of events which they described; or if the habits of the people, which are familiar to you, illustrated their truths. I was reading, a few mornings since, with exquisite satisfaction, the excursion of Abraham's servant to obtain a wife for Isaac. The well, the damsels, the jewels, the camels, the provender, the act of Rebecca in vailing herself; all have a reality, and I can think just how they appeared.

"June 20. From the public prints and other sources, you will doubtless hear of the present disturbances in Syria, and I fear you will suffer anxiety respecting us; but let not your hearts fail. 'As the mountains are round about Jerusalem, so the Lord is round about his people.' Moreover, Beyroot is a more quiet place than others in the country; and even should the commotions reach us, we are favorably situated for securing a refuge either in Mount Lebanon, or

on the sea.

"June 30.-I feel somewhat thoughtful, this afternoon, in consequence of having heard of the ready consent of the friends of a little girl, that I should take her, as I proposed, 9

Smith

194

MEMOIR OF MRS. SMITH.

and educate her. I am anxious to do it, and yet my experience and observation in reference to such a course, and my Knowledge of the sinful heart of a child, lead me to think I am undertaking a great thing. I feel, too, that my example and my instruction will control her eternal destiny. May I have your unceasing prayers, that I may possess wisdom and patience, gentleness and decision, and never take a wrong step in reference to her."