mination. I endeavoured to count the cost, and considered it probable that I should suffer in consequence of my resolution not to bear arms, I was not disappointed; for in due time, I was required to pay my fine or go to prison. As I considered paying my fine the same thing as continuing in the practice, I told them that I could not acquiesce, notwithstanding many of my friends persuaded me to do it, and one man stood ready with money to pay for me, if I had not any of my own ready at hand. But this was

I

not the difficulty; but the principle involved I could not accede to. I was disgusted at that time with one young man, who had said more on the subject of bearing arms than most any other person of my acquaintance-declaring it to be unscriptural, wicked, &c. but who now advised me to pay my fine, or thought I had much better do it than to suffer by going to prison, as I did not know when I should be extricated. thought it best to try to be honest, and trust God for deliverance. It was indeed a trial; for I was called upon just at the close of the day, and at a time too when the health of my family seemed to require constant attention. I have thought that this time was selected with the expectation that I should recant and give up my principles for the sake of convenience, or to avoid the very disagreeable results from the stand which I had taken. But I was enabled to stand in the evil day against principalities and powers, and spiritual wickedness in high places; and at the same time submitted to the " powers that be," without resistance. I was attended by the officer to the prison in Providence-it was quite dark before we arrived there,and one may well imagine, that thus to be thrust into close confinement, when I had always calculated to live "above board," pay my debts punctually, and live independently, required some support from objects more than worldly to keep me in a tolerable comfortable state of mind. I was locked up in the upper room in the debtor's apartment; a most disagreeable and loathsome situation to be sure; yet notwithstanding I tried

to content myself and trust in God. The Lord however gave me "favour in sight of the keeper of the prison," and I had not been in the room where I was first confined but a short time-perhaps not an hour,before I was permitted to enjoy the liberty of the whole house. I remained in prison two days, when the doors were opened, and I was set at liberty; but why and wherefore I have never learned. Let every one judge for himself, in respect to this subject of bearing arms; as for me, I cannot endure the thought of being instrumental in precipitating my fellow men into eternity, who have been driven into the field of battle by ambitious and avaricious kings or rulers.

After I had been preaching about nine months, I was one Sabbath returning home from an appointment, which I had been filling in the neighbourhood of the Lippitt Factory, in Warwick, when I became absorbed in serious reflections on the important station which I had assumed. I thought I had seen the dreadful consequences of young ministers being flattered; that they had been lifted up with pride, and fallen into "the condemnation of the devil." I stopped in the road and cried mightily to God, to preserve me from such a dreadful fall. I remember perfectly well one expression which I made, and repeated.Lord, (said I,) Solomon asked for wisdom, but first of all, I beseech thee to give me humility. I was conscious that I needed wisdom also, but I was so fearful of being puffed up in consequence of the undivided approbation which I received from my brethren, and the attention which was paid to my preaching by the world, that for a season I scarcely knew how to contain myself. But I little expected that God would answer my prayer, and humble me in the way which I have reason to believe he did. this time I laboured at my trade during the week, and used to carry my small New Testament, which had marginal notes, in my pocket, and studied it attentively almost every leisure moment. I preached frequently, evenings; but when I was not thus

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engaged, I was generally alone, by myself, absorbed in meditation and prayer. I had, about this time, thoughts of emigrating to the western country, and felt determined to exert myself to obtain property, that I might preach independently of receiving a temporal support, and so blow the gospel trumpet in those destitute regions, of which I heard much from my brother T- -m, who had, by an appointment of the yearly meeting, just visited them.While I was one day meditating on this subject, and at the same time driving on with my work, in a great hurry, I struck a fatal blow to all my calculations, and in a moment demolished all the castles which I had been building in the air. I plunged accidentally a small gouge in the palm of my hand; and although the instrument was small, yet at the moment I received the wound, I felt a kind of foreboding that the consequences would be serious, if not fatal. The pain ran up my arm into my shoulder and neck, and I was advised to use precautions against the lock-jaw. I visited an old lady in the neighbourhood, who had once been attacked with that dreadful complaint, in consequence of a wound in the end of one of her fingers, by a small cambric needle: (how frail we are!) She gave me advice how to treat the wound, and I followed it aecordingly; but was unable to labour, in consequence of the soreness of my hand; so I devoted the time to visiting, and occasionally preaching. It was about this time, I think, that I visited Pawtucket, for the first time, in order to enquire into the state of business, and if I might find a good job of work, after my hand was restored, so that I might attend to it, which now appeared to be doing well, and had almost healed over on the outside.

But just as I began to promise myself peace and safety, sudden destruction stared me in the face.On the morning of the fourth day of July, about nine days after I received the wound, and when to all appearance it was almost well, it began to pro

duce evident symptoms of the lock-jaw. I afterwards learned that this was the way which this terrible disorder often visited those who had fallen its victims. The physicians told me it was occasioned by a nerve's being wounded, or partly cut off internally, which remained in that disordered state, after the wound appeared to be externally well.Death now stared me in the face, and I repaired immediately to Providence, in order to put myself under the care of the most skilful surgeon I could find. Being unable to find Dr. Mackie, Dr. Fuller, his partner, examined my hand, and after learning the symptoms, told me there was danger of the complaint apprehended by myself and friends. The plan of treatment which he pursued, was to endeavour to again throw open the wound, cause it to materate, and separate some of the nerves in the palm of my hand. In order to effect this, he applied caustic to burn it, which was almost as excruciatingly painful as a live coal of fire lying continually on the wound. I was apprehensive that there was but a small chance for me to survive the attack, and felt solemn beyond description. I never can describe how the bustle and parade occasioned by the citizens engaged in the celebration of the birth of our national independence, looked to me at this time. Surely the course pursued by our citizens generally (and I am sorry to say by professors of religion, too) must be displeasing to him who rules our destinies, and who can pull us down at his pleasure, notwithstanding all our boasted strength and present independence and prosperity. The pomp and pride of the world now appeared to me to be but pride and vanity indeed. From that time to this I have never engaged in fourth of July celebrations, although frequently solicited, for I know it would be a situation I should not wish to die in-and should we go to any place, or be engaged in any undertaking from which we should not be willing to step off into eternity?

I returned home after my hand had been examined

and directions given me from the surgeon. I was in agonizing pain, and the next day visited the surgeon again in Providence, where I concluded to stay at the house of my sister some days, if I should live, that the more strict attention might be paid, to arrest the threatening calamity. The next day I walked down street, to have my hand dressed; but it was with great difficulty that I returned, on account of the dreadful pain with which I was exercised. I now sunk under the weight of my disorder, and took to my bed with the prospect of more terrible scenes near at hand. I was visited in the evening by Dr. Mackie, who manifested uncommon solicitude for the preservation of my life, but who began to give evident tokens of doubt and discouragement respecting the final issue. My fond mother, who had been long in the habit of being much with the sick, exerted herself to the utmost for my relief, and watched over me with paternal kindness. On the day following, I was seized instantaneously with a spasmodic affection, which was like the hand of death, and threatened me with immediate dissolution. It affected my whole system, causing universal distress, and I concluded myself actually passing through the dark solemn entry of death into the eternal world. Indeed I was told afterwards by the physicians, that it was impossible for a person to experience more death-like sensations than those spasms produced; nor do I expect to feel more like dying than I then did. I know not that I had the most distant thought of surviving. Dr. Mackie was immediately called, and through the mercy of God I soon obtained a partial temporary relief. The Doctor now conceived it to be necessary to use more powerful means, in order, if possible to baffle the disorder, and preserve life. I took opium most freely, mercury and a preparation of arsenic (vulgarly called ratsbane) until I was almost blind, in order to prevent the spasms. But they followed me up incessantly, notwithstanding, for a number of days, during which time I lay as I conceived, in the very arms of death, ex