Obrazy na stronie

ARSENIC USED BY HORSE DEALERS AT VIENNA. In Vienna, the use of arsenic is of every day occurrence, among horse dealers, and especially with the coachmen of the nobility. They either shake it in the pulverised state among the corn, or they tie a bit the size of a pea in a piece of linen, which they fasten to the curb when the horse is harnessed, and the saliva of the animal soon dissolves it. The sleek, round, shining appearance of the carriage horses, and especially the much admired foaming at the mouth, is the result of the arsenic feeding. It is a common practice with the farm servants in the mountainous parts, to strew a pinch of arsenic on the last feed of hay, before going up a steep road. This is done for years without the least unfavourable result; but should the horse fall into the hands of another owner who withholds the arsenic, he loses flesh immediately, is not longer lively, and even with the best feeding there is no possibility of restoring him to his former sleek appearance.

THE ADVANTAGE OF LONG HAIR. “ No one would take you for what you are,” said an old fashioned gentleman to a dandy, who had more hair then brains," “ Why ?" was immediately asked, “ Because they cannot see your ears.

Mr. PARTINGTON, reading the death of a distinguished lawyer, who was stated to be the Father of the Bar, exclaimed—“ Poor man, he had a dreadful noisy set of children."

NOTHING was so much dreaded in our school-boy days, as to be punished by sitting between two girls. Ah! the force of education. In after years we learned to submit to such things without shedding a tear.

PHILOSOPHERS say that shutting the eyes makes the sense of hearing more acute. A wag suggests that this accounts for the many dozed eyes which are seen in church every Sunday.

THERE is a Grocer up town, who is said to be so mean that he was seen to catch a fly off his counter, hold him up by his hind legs, and look into the cracks of his feet, to see if he hadn't been stealing some of his sugar.

How often we hear the harsh expression “a good natured fool !" as if the milk of human kindness was always adulterated-like our common milk in London-with calves' brains.

An Irish clergyman, having gone to visit the portraits of the Scotch kings, in Holyrood House, observed one of the monarchs of a very youthful appearance, whilst his son was depicted with a long beard, and wore the traits of extreme old age. “Sanc a Maria,” exclaimed the good Hibernian, “is it possible that this gentleman was an old man when his father was born.


DIRECTIONS FOR MAKING WILLS. We had intended giving our readers a few directions for making their Wills, but we have abandoned the idea, because the Wills of the married ladies would not be legal, and it is of no use giving directions for the use of the husbands, who seldom have a Will of their own.

A SHINING CHARACTER. My character,” said an Alderman, who had cleared himself from a charge of jobbery,“ my character, sir, is like my boots, all the brighter for blacking."

Why oh! why this parturbation ?

Why this tumult in my breast?
Why this unknown sweet sensation ?

Charming though it chases rest!
Why this tender soft confusion ?

Why this downcast timid eye?
O'er my cheeks why this confusion ?

Why the unconscious, frequent sigh ?
Why this trembling fond emotion ?

Why the pulse maddening play?
Throbbing bosom, soft commotion,

Restless night and listless day!
Why do crowds no longer please me?

Why so dear the lonely grove ?
Why delight in thoughts that teaze me?

Tell me, pray sir-Is this love?

LITTLE HUSBANDS AND BIG WIVES. The veteran wag and patriarch of the American press, M. M. Noah, takes off the common propensity to intermarriage of big and little people, thus—“Can any of the acute Philosophers who discover in every man's physical conformations the cause of his actions explain to us the reason of this. Why will a little man, as a general rule, select the biggest woman he can find, as a matrimonial partner? Is it that contrarieties are reconciled, and extremities meet in love ? Or is it that the man of piginy proportions is more ambitious in his wedding desires, more daring in his aspirations than his taller fellows? Does he take wider views of wedlock than others, or can nothing but a stupendous wife satisfy his expansive soul ? Does he add a cubit to his stature by marrying a woman whom he can look up to ?”.

MEANNESS. An editor, down South, describing a family of his acquaintance, says—"they were so mean, they had to die by subscription."

THE VERY PRETTY FACES. INTERESTING people have almost always eyes which tell that they are so. Such eyes may be black, blue, or grey; they may be of any form, though we fancy not quite set in any manner, but they always convey an idea of extraordinary capability, both in the way of receiving and of giving out; and whatever subject is conversed upon, they seem, when attentive, to be enjoyed in following that subject out to its remotest bearings; and then returning to beam forth, and tell what they have discovered. Eyes of this kind can easily make acquaintances without the ceremony of introduction. There are seldom such eyes without accompanying features of similar expression. The countenance may not have the slightest pretensions to beauty. It may not even harmonize one part of it with another. In some respects common observers may pronounce it ugly; and yet it may grow upon us, and brighten, and deepen in expression until it becomes profoundly interesting, without our knowing how or why. It is precisely this charm which so many pretty faces, and some handsome ones, want. They respond to nothing, reveal 'nothing, and evidently feel nothing; and thus a a combination of mere fine features, form and complexion, thought beautiful at first, grows flat like a picture, and affects our feelings no more than one that is finely painted—nay, not even half so much; for the very movements of a living face, if they do not speak in the language of a present and pervading soul, speak of its absence, and reveal the wants and the vacancy of an uninteresting character.

POLITENESS. CARRYING politeness to excess is said to be raising your hat to a young lady in the street, and allowing a couple of dirty collars to fall out upon the pavement.

CHANCE FOR YOUNGSTERS. An attorney, in the country, advertises for a young lad that can write a legible hand and can read illegible writing.

The Spike Society (says a Boston Paper), will meet this evening and discuss the following question :— If a man buys a leg of fresh pork of a provision dealer, has the seller a right to send to his house another leg weighing two pounds less than the one paid for, and would the case stand any different if it was salt pork ?”.

A BOTANY Bay anecdote tells us of a convict who got so well on in the other world (Australia) that he rose to the bench ; and making some harsh reflections on a party brought before him, whom he fined 58., the delinquent retorted - There's the money : I remember the time in England when I should have liked much less to meet you with 5s. in my pocket.”

PRECEPT. He who has merited friends will seldom be without them, for attachment is not so rare as the desert, which attracts and secures it.

Little, simple, valued thing,

Made for little finger fair;
How much sorrow thou dost bring,

When for lucre you ensnare!
In each maidens ear I'll sing,
Oh! beware the wedding ring!
Symbol of eternity!

Death alone should part thy tie !
Awful is that word to me;

From thy tempting let me fly:-
For some spirit on the wing
Says-beware the wedding ring!
Many hearts your round does bind,

That were bound by love before;
Many hands by you are twined

That your twining will deplore :
And from them I warning bring
To beware the wedding ring !
Yet if heart and hand unite,

And if soul to soul is given,
Then the solemn nuptial rite

Is a sweet foretaste of Heaven !
Then persuasively I'll sing,
Maidens ! take the wedding ring !

MORALITIES. A SHIP ought not to be fixed by a single anchor, nor life upon a single hope.

If you employ your inoney in doing good, you put it out at the best interest.

“Men are mortal gods," said an ancient writer, “but gods are immortal men."

BEFORE an affliction is digested consolation ever comes too soon : and after it is digested it comes too late.

As a tree that is heavily laden with fruit breaks its own boughs, so men, by their own greatness, destroy themselves.

Time with all its celerity moves slowly on to him whose whole employment is to watch its flight.

NARROW souled people are like narrow necked bottles, the less they have in them the more noise they make in pouring it out.

OUR virtues would be proved if our faults whipped them not ; and our enemies would despair, if they were not cherished by our virtues.

DEFINITION OF A GENTLEMAN. We consider the following more to the point than one we have seen elsewhere cited :-A gentleman is a Christian in spirit, that will take a polish. The rest are but plated goods; and however excellent their fashion, rub them more or less, the base metal will appear through.

A BITTER CUP. The friends of Louis Napoleon pretend that he has acted with impartiality towards the soldiers, and the people, for he gave wine to the military, and he did not fail to give the citizens a taste of the grape.

WHEREVER I find a great deal of gratitude in a poor man, I take it for granted there would be as much generosity if he were a rich man,— Pope.

THERE is in most people a reluctance and unwillingness to be forgotten. We observe, even among the vulgar, how fond they are even to have an inscription over their graves.-Swift.

When Hofer was led to be shot, he was asked to kneel, but he replied—“ I have always stood upright before my Creator, and in that posture I will give up my spirit to him.”Life of Hofer.

He who in the same given time can produce more than many others, has vigour; he who can produce more and better, has talents ; he who can produce what none else can, has genius.Levater.

ASSUREDLY if the Church of England be a nursing mother to her own children, she is also, generally speaking, a quiet neighbour to those of other families.- Lord Brougham.

THOSE men who destroy a healthful constitution of body, by intemperance, as manifestly kill themselves as those who hang, or poison, or drown themselves.—Sherlock.

When you have lost your money in the street every one is ready to look for it, but when you have lost your character every one leaves you to recover it as you can.

Vessels large may venture more,

But little boats should keep near shore. The first slip to misery is to nourish in ourselves an affection for evil things, and the height of misfortune is to be able to indulge in such affections.

A DIVINE ought to calculate his sermon as an astrologer does his almanack, to the meridian of the place and people where he lives.

To relieve the oppressed is the most glorious act a man is capable ; it is, in the same measure doing the business of God,

« PoprzedniaDalej »