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HOW TO BE HAPPY.

THE most important lesson of life is to know how to be happy, within ourselves; when home is our comfort, and all in it, even the dog and cat, share our affection. Do not refine away happiness, by thinking that which is good may be better.

ON AN EXCELLENT MUSICIAN PLAYING TO AWKWARD DANCERS.

"How ill the motion with the music suits,"

Thus fiddled Orpheus, and thus danced the brutes.

BOUSSEUT.

THE majestic eloquence of Bousseut, is like a river, which carries every thing along in its rapid course.

FENELON.

IT has been said of the Telemachus of the virtuous Fenelon, that it is the most useful present the Muses have made to mankind; for could the happiness of man be produced by a poem, it would be by that.

MADAM GREOFTIN disagreeing once with a literary gentleman, the dispute became very warm, and many high words were exchanged with great acrimony. "How now," said a mutual friend of theirs, slipping between them, "can it be that you are clandestinely married."

JUDGMENT and imagination are rarely united.

IN the path of life, we have the brilliant meteor of hope to dazzle us, and behind us truth.

AN honest man is the noblest work of God.

THE safest asylum is the bosom of a mother.

WHERE can one be happier than in the bosom of one's family? THE best method of all is a good master.

AN honorable life is the best legacy a father can leave to his children.

THE slanderous tongue is a poisoned dagger.

LIFE is divided into three terms; that which was, which is, and which will be. Let us learn from the past to profit by the present, and from the present to live better for the future.

ALEXANDER often said-" I am not more indebted to Philip, my father, than to Aristotle, my preceptor. If I owe the one my life, I am indebted to the other for virtue."

FENELON.

He was a wise legislator, who having given to his countrymen laws calculated to make them good and happy, made them swear not to violate any of those laws during his absence; after which he went away, exiled himself from his country, and died poor in a foreign land.

DURING the Bath season, in 1822, the word "Set," being a cant term, a lady, in high life, wrote the following lines on

"THE BATH SETS."

The little word set, how in Bath it pervades,
There's a set of devotionists, a set of old maids,
A musical set, a rare set of quizzes,

A card playing set, and of blue stocking Misses;
A set of poor humdrums, by nobody known,
Who walk in the country, and drink tea alone;
There's a set beyond all of belles and of beaux,
Whom every one sees where every one goes;
If you're in it you may dance at a ball,
If not 'tis a chance if you e'er dance at all;
There are sets of Quadrilles, White's 9th and 11th,
There's Colonet's first, and Payne's 107th;

To dance then a set is made up for a few,

And when eight bars are played they all must set to ;

But if not in the set, and you wish for a set,

You will fume, you will fidget, you'll sigh and you will fret;

For to make up a set what a fuss, what a pother,

In the asking, engaging, refusing each other;

When ladies you have got, four men you must get,

March boldly up to them and make a dead set;
Now that is the way the Bath heroes to treat,
For men asking women is quite obsolete;
If the sets not complete, if you want but one beau,
You must give up the dancing and set in a row;
And set an example befiting your station,
Of patience and temper, and meek resignation;
And thus you will find if you first set about it,
That set is the word-there's no doing without it.

A BEAUTIFUL PRECEPT.

AN all-wise Creator has ordained that as parents watch over the helpless infancy of their children, so the children are to nurse the declining days of their parents, support the tottering steps, and administer to the weakness of second childhood in those who administered to their wants.

HOMER, is considered the father of epic poetry; Eschylus, of tragedy; Æsop, of apologue; Pindar, of lyric poetry; and Theocritus, of pastoral poetry.

MOLIERE has taken from Aristophanes, the comic; from Plautus, fire and activity; from Terence, the picture of manners.

THE HAPPY MAN.

THE happy man is not he whose happiness is his only care, but he, who, with perfect resignation, leaves the care of his happiness to HIM who made him, while he pursues with ardour the road of his duty.

THE STUDY OF NATURE.

THE observation of the calm, energetic regularity of nature, the immense scale of her operations, and the certainty with which her ends are attained, tend irresistibly to tranquillize the mind, and render it less accessible to repining, selfish, and turbulent emotions.

DO GOOD FOR THE SAKE OF GOOD.

THE horse, when he has run his course; the bee, when it has made its honey; and the good man, when he has done good to others, do not make a noisy boast about it, but go on to repeat the action as the vine, in its season, new clusters again.

A POSTHUMOUS WORK.

SOME One (whom we will not disgrace by printing his name) says, that the lobster is a posthumous work of creation, for it is only red after its death.

VIRTUE.

THERE is a mean in all things. Even virtue itself hath its stated limits, which not being strictly observed, ceases to be virtue.

LASTING.

WHICH is the most economical suit you can have? A suit in Chancery, as it generally lasts for life.

"FAITH," said an Irishman, who could not get into his cabin, at Ballingary, his wife having turned the key upon him; "faith, but I'm regularly locked in.' "In," said his companion; "in where ?" Why, in the street!"

A GREAT "scientificker" explained the phenomina of expansion, by heat; and contraction, by cold; with the irrefragable illustration, that in summer, when it was hot, the days stretched out very long; but in winter, when it was cold, they contracted until they become very cold indeed!

A WIFE having run away from her husband, taking with her all that was portable among his effects, he followed in time to stop and secure the latter; when a wag remarked, that the position of the husband was decidedly preferable to that of the paramour, since the former had got the luggage, while the other had only secured the baggage.

EQUALITY OF MAN'S DESTINY.

THE different ranks and orders of mankind may be compared to so many streams and rivers of running water. All proceed from an original small and obscure source; some spread wider, travel over more countries, and make more noise in their passage than others; but all tend alike to an ocean, where distinction ceases, and where the largest and most celebrated rivers are equally lost and absorbed with the smallest and most unknown streams.

FOOL.

"Boy, you are not far from a fool!" "Well, as we aint more than three feet apart, I give into that," was the reply.

SYN-TAX.

"WELL, my boy, do you know what Syn-tax means?" said a schoolmaster to the child of a teetotaller." "Iss, sir; the dooty on sperrets."

EPITAPHS AT MELTON MOWBRAY.

Here lies the wife of Simon Stokes,
Who liv'd and died like other folks.

His last debt is paid-poor Tom's no more!
Last debt! Tom never paid a debt before!

JOCKEY CLUB.

Ar a dinner given to the members of the Jockey Club, by his late Majesty William IV., the Marquis of Westminster was boasting of the performances of Touchstone, and offering to back him for a large sum, against any thing that could be named. "I accept the challenge," said the King, "and will name to beat him by a neck." The match was concluded, and his Majesty, amidst a roar of laughter, named the "Giraffe."

ONCE when Admiral Packenham landed at Portsmouth, a friend asked him how he had left the crew of his ship. "Oh!" said he, "I left them all, to a man, the merriest fellows in the world." "How so ?" asked his friend. "Why," replied the Admiral, "I flogged seventeen of them, and they are happy it is over; and all the rest are happy because they have escaped."

The Nonconformist gives a specimen of how sacrilege may be forbidden and sense set at nought. The following" notice" adorns the walls of Millbrook Church, Hants:-" It is respectfully requested that persons entering the sacred edifice do uncover at the entrance of the second door; and to observe the same on leaving the Church."

AFFECTATION.

IF any thing will sicken and disgust a man, it is the affected mincing way in which some people choose to talk. It is perfectly nauseous. If these young jackanapes, who screw their mouths into all manner of diabolical shapes, could only feel how perfectly disgusting they were, it might induce them to drop it. With many, it soon becomes such a confirmed habit, that they cannot again be taught to talk in a plain straightforward manly way. Do pray talk in your natural tone, if you don't wish to be utterly ridiculous and comtemptible, screwing your mouth like the aperture in a poor box.

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A FOOL AND HIS MONEY.

SOME merchants went to an Eastern Sovereign, and exhibited for sale some very fine horses. The King admired them, and bought them; he moreover gave the merchants a lac of rupees to purchase more horses for him. The King, one day, in a sportive humour,

ordered the Vizier to make out a list of all the fools in his dominions. He did so, and put his Majesty's name at the head of them. The King asked "Why?" He replied "Because you entrusted a lac of rupees to men you don't know, and who will never come back." Ay, but suppose they should come back." "Then I shall erase your name and insert theirs.'

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IN the celebrated and decisive naval engagement of Lord Howe's Fleet with that of France, on the 1st June, 1794, a game cock, on board one of his ships, chanced to have his house beaten to pieces by a shot, or some falling rigging, which set him at liberty. The feathered hero, now perched on the stump of the mainmast which had been carried away, continued crowing, and clapping his wings, during the remainder of the engagement, enjoying, to all appearance, the magnificent sternness of the scene.

A FEW years ago, there was in the possession of the Crawford's, Cowdowhill, Dumbartonshire, a silver spoon, which was bequeathed in a very singular manner to the largest mouthed member of the family. The spoon was three inches in diameter, at the mouth piece, and on the handle was inscribed the following lines, dated 1840:

This spoun I leave in legacee

To the biggest muthed, Crawfurd after me,
And if he sell or pawn 't cursed may he bee.

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