GOD MY SUPREME, MY ONLY HOPE. 351 God my supreme, my only Hope. Why do I address Thee, my God, with no more confidence? Why do I indulge these remains of unbelief, and harbour these returns of infidelity and distrust? Can I survey the earth, can I gaze on the structure of the heavens, and ask if Thou art able to deliver? Can I call in question thy ability to succour me, when I consider the general and particular instances of Thy goodness and power? One age to another, in long succession, hath conveyed the records of Thy glory. "In all generations thou hast been our dwelling-place: my fathers trusted in thee, and were delivered." They have encouraged me, my own experience has encouraged me, to trust in Thee for ever. The sun may fail to rise, and men in vain expect its light, but Thy truth, Thy faithfulness cannot fail; the course of nature may be reversed, and all be chaos again, but Thou art immutable, and canst not, by any change, deceive the hopes of them that trust in Thee. I adore Thy power, and subscribe to Thy goodness and fidelity, and what farther objection would my unbelief raise? Is anything too hard for God to accomplish? Can the united force of earth and hell resist His will? Great God, how wide Thy glories shine! How broad Thy kingdom, how divine! Nature, and miracle, and fate, and chance are Thine. Therefore I apply myself immediately to Thee, and renounce all the terror and all the confidence that may rise from heaven or earth besides. Let Him bless me, and I shall be blessed-blessed without reserve or limitation-blessed in my going out and coming in, in my sitting down and rising up-blessed in time, and blessed to all eternity. That blessing from Thy lips will influence the whole creation, and attend me wherever I am. It shall go before me as a leading light, and follow me as my protecting angel. When I lie down it will cover me. I shall rest beneath the shadow of the Most High, and dwell safely in the secret of His tabernacle. "Thy kingdom ruleth over all, O Lord; and thou dost according to thy will in the armies of heaven, and among the inhabitants of the earth." I confess and acknowledge Thy providence. The ways of man are not at his own disposal, but all his goings are ordered by Thee; all events are in Thy hands, and Thou only canst succeed or disappoint his hopes. If Thou blow on his designs, they are for ever blasted; if Thou bless them, neither earth nor hell can hinder their success; therefore I apply myself immediately to Thee, for not all created power can assist me without Thee. At Thy command nature and necessity are no more; all things are alike easy to a God. Speak but Thou the word, and my desires are granted: say, "Let there be light,” and there shall be light. Thou canst look me into peace, when the tumult of thoughts raise a storm within. Bid my soul be still, and all its tempests shall obey Thee. I depend only on Thee: do Thou smile, and all the world may frown: do Thou succeed my affairs, and I shall fear no obstacle that earth or hell can put in my way. Thou only art the object of my fear, and all my desires are directed to Thee. Human things have lost their being and their names, and vanish into nothing before Thee: they are but shades and disguises to veil the active Divinity. Oh! let me break through all these separations, and see and confess the great, the governing Cause. Let no appearance of created things, however specious, hide Thee from my view; let me look through all to Thee, nor cast a glance of love or hope below Thee. With a holy contempt let me survey the ample round of the creation as lying in the hollow of Thy hand, and every being in heaven and on earth as immoveable by the most potent cause in MERCIES REMEMBERED. 353 nature, till commissioned by Thee to do good or hurt. O let Thy hand be with me to keep me from evil, and let me abide under the shadow of the Almighty! I shall be secure in Thy pavilion. To Thee I fly for shelter from all the ills of mortality. A Review of Divine Mercy and Faithfulness. [Dated "April 30, 1735," when the writer had passed threescore years in the house of her pilgrimage. This concludes her "Devout Exercises."] I am now setting to my seal that God is true, and leaving this as my last testimony to the Divine veracity. I can from numerous experiences assert His faithfulness, and witness to the certainty of His promises. "The word of the Lord has been tried, and He is a buckler to all those that put their trust in Him." "O come, all ye that fear the Lord, and I will tell you what He has done for my soul: I will ascribe righteousness to my Maker," and leave my record for a people yet unborn, that the generation to come may rise up and praise Him. Into whatever distress His wise providence has brought me, I have called on the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears; I trusted in God, and He saved me. Oh! let my experience stand a witness to them that hope in Thy mercy; let it be to the Lord for a praise and a glory. I know not where to begin the recital of Thy numerous favours. Thou hast hid me in the secret of Thy pavilion, from the pride of man, and from the strife of tongues, when by a thousand follies I have merited reproach; Thou hast graciously protected me, when the vanity of my friends, or the malice of my enemies, might have stained my reputation; thou hast covered me with Thy feathers, and under Thy wing have I trusted: Thy truth has been my shield and my buckler; to Thee I owe the blessing of a clear and unblemished name, and not to my own conduct, nor the partiality of my friend.— Glory be to Thee, O Lord. Thou hast led me through a thousand labyrinths, and enlightened my darkness. When shades and perplexity surrounded me, my light has broke forth out of obscurity, and my darkness been turned into noon-day. Thou hast been a Guide and a Father to me. When I knew not where to ask advice, Thou hast given me unerring counsel: "The secret of the Lord has been with me, and He has shewn me His covenant." In how many seen and unseen dangers hast Thou delivered me! how narrow my gratitude! how wide Thy mercy! how innumerable are Thy thoughts of love! how infinite the instances of Thy goodness! how high above the ways and thoughts of man! How often hast Thou supplied my wants and by Thy bounty confounded my unbelief! Thy benefits have surprised and justly reproached my diffidence; my faith has often failed, but Thy goodness has never failed. The world and all its flatteries have failed, my own heart and hopes have failed, but Thy mercy endures for ever, Thy faithfulness has never failed. The strength of Israel has never deceived me, nor made me ashamed of my confidence. Thou hast never been as a deceitful brook, or as waters that fail, to my soul. In loving-kindness, in truth, and in very faithfulness, Thou hast afflicted me. Oh! how unwillingly hast Thou seemed to grieve me! with how much indulgence has the punishment been mixed! Love has appeared through the disguise of every frown; its beams have glimmered through the darkest night; by every affliction Thou hast been still drawing me nearer to Thyself, and removing my carnal props, that I may lean with more assurance on the Eternal Rock. Thy love has been my leading glory from the first intricate steps of life: the first undesigned paths I trod were marked MERCIES REMEMBERED. 355 and guarded by the vigilance of Thy love: oh! whither else had my sin and folly led me? How often have I tried and experienced Thy clemency, and found an immediate answer to my prayers? Thou hast often literally fulfilled Thy word: I have a fresh instance of Thy faithfulness again: Thou hast made me triumph in Thy goodness, and given a new testimony to the veracity of Thy promises. And, after all, what ingratitude, what insensibility, reigns in my heart? Oh! cancel it by the blood of the covenant: root out this monstrous infidelity that still returns after the fullest evidence of Thy truth. Thou hast graciously condescended to answer me in Thy own time and way, and yet I am again doubting Thy faithfulness and care. Lord, pity me. I believe; O help my unbelief. Go on to succour, go on to pardon, and at last conquer my diffidence. Let me hope against hope, and in the greatest perplexity give glory to God, by believing what my own experience has so often found-"That the strength of Israel will not lie; nor is he as man, that he should repent." While I have memory and thought, let His goodness dwell on my soul. Let me not forget the depths of my distress, the anguish and importunity of my vows: when every human help failed, and all was darkness and perplexity, then God was all my stay. Then I knew no name but His, and He alone knew my soul in adversity. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits. Long as I live I'll bless Thy name, My King, and God of love; I have yet a thousand and ten thousand deliverances to recount, ten thousand unasked for mercies to recall! no moment my life has been destitute of Thy care; no accident has found of |