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"A sure application when the cold is severe."
DOSE THE SIXTH.
R. SAPONIS mollis-libram unam.
Eris alieni-quantum ex amicis suis procurandum sit.
Lynceorum oculorum-duos rectos, si sic possit et rectè a
Confectionis Latinæ linguæ (vulgo canina)—granulum. Curriculum cum aurigario vel tigre-pro vehiculo. Hæc in ordinem cautè et callidè redigenda sunt et fiunt remediatori cuique remedium dulce decorum efficaxque.
TO MAKE A FORMIDABLE DOCTOR.
Take of soft soap—one pound.
"Tin," alias cash-as much as he can procure from his
Conscience (gum elastic)—a scruple, if needful.
A blue-stocking's hand.
A lion's heart-one.
Of lynx's eyes-two sharp ones; if possible looking straight at the "blunt."
A mouthful of mixed Latin (vulgarly called Dog-Latin).
A "pill-box," or chaise, with a coachman, or a tiger—for a vehicle.
These are to be cunningly and cautiously combined, and will benefit the doctor, if not the patient.
DOSE THE SEVENTH.
COURTEOUS READER!-We are well aware that, after all we have so cleverly described and proscribed, you will still seek as eagerly as ever the prescription of the "gentleman in black."
The uninitiated, who, in the belief, that they have a genius for galenicals, are fond of dosing, may dose themselves; or, if they must dabble in "doctoring others, let them limit their practice to the sick, and leave the well alone, or-they may "kick the bucket."
Physic is the luxury of the rich. The artificial life they lead requires all the aid of tonics, stimulants, and
narcotics, to make that life worth; their maladies are commonly the result of malice prepense. With the poor, accident, or the dietary which sharp necessity and lean misery (two poor-devil guardians!) dole out with the concentrated stinginess of twenty step-mothers is the primary cause of disease. There is, however, one favourable feature in the position of the latter,they rarely get more than they require either of food or physic.
invariably suffer from the super
The rich almost abundance of both. But all the world is more or less fond of being "doctored." Why? Credulity is the offspring of Ignorance, and the prey of Cunning, and
Argent! argent! sans toi tout est stérile;
La vertu sans argent ne'st qu'un meuble inutile."
Dinero, llama, dinero."
"Das Glück dient wie ein Knecht für Gold;
66 They say that 'Knowledge is Power': I used to think so; but I now know that they meant 'money!' and when Socrates declared that all he knew was that he knew nothing,' he merely intended to declare, that he had not a drachm in the Athenian world."-BYRON.
NOTE THE FIRST.
MONEY, alias cash, Scotticè siller, vulgo tin, blunt, the mopusses, the shiners, the stuff, the dibs, the ready, under any or all of these various names, is indisputably-capital!
Possessed of it, vulgar pretension and stupidity become the objects of adulation, admiration, adoration; while wit, learning, and integrity, in the absence of it, are shunned and avoided-teetotally "cut,"-get the "cold shoulder" in the public way, and the "brown loaf" at the private board. It is universally acknowledged that "poverty is no sin," neither is the plague; but the "worldly wise " cautiously shrink from the contagion of both.
Still, paradoxical as it may appear, the poor have many friends, but the rich have none. For the rich, the proud, and the ostentatious, give that which they need not for that which they most desire-money for notoriety. Many indeed bestow their benefactions for the sake of the publicity which their pseudo-charity obtains. The rich have no friends-no; they are no more loved than the gay flowers are by the bees, although they are as eagerly sought after in the sunshine of prosperity for-the good that may be extracted