and composedly cruel than Miss Jennings's behaviour. I went away overwhelmed with distress, and whatever respite I might have for a few moments, my heart was, as it were, eat up with fervent anguish, and pining with a self-consuming sorrow. I had little rest for several nights, through my excessive concern on account of her, who of all creatures upon earth least deserved so much as one friendly thought from me. And which was the necessary consequence of such an idolatrous passion? my heart was entirely alienated from God, and I had hardly any regard to him. I made a journey for about a week after the new year began, which was commenced without any of its usual solemnity, not so much as one memorandum of my religious reflections and purposes being made. In that journey my sorrows were renewed, and towards the close of it, they were something increased from another quarter; for I saw the dear excellent creature who is in almost all respects the reverse of Miss Jennings, but was incensed to the highest degree at my regard for her. She intimated that she thought of marrying very quickly, and that if she were ruined she would charge it upon me. I then came to Northampton, where I had not been a long while and the Monday afterwards, which was about the 13th of January, began housekeeping. I came to lodge at home on the Wednesday after, and the Wednesday following, January 21, I took possession of that chamber in which I hope to spend most of the remaining studious hours of my life. As it was evident, that religion had been very much on the decline, and I resolved upon taking one method for the revival of it that I had never yet done. The account of which I shall throw into the next article, having already drawn out this to so great a length.

A PARTICULAR ACCOUNT OF MY FIRST PRIVATE FAST.

A PRIVATE fast had often been recommended to me by others; and I resolved for once to make an experiment of it. It was a thing I was entirely unaccustomed to; and accordingly I went very awkwardly about it. I took but little care in preparation the night before. I went to bed late, and waked late too, and so lost some of the most sprightly moments of the morning. I had a great deal of other business to do; particularly the morning's exposition to prepare, and a sermon to get ready for the afternoon. When I first got up, I spent some time in prayer for the presence and blessing of God; but did not implore it so particularly as I ought, for the various particular circumstances of the day. I then read my usual lesson, and prepared an exposition for it; whereas, methinks, it might have been better to have read something more peculiarly seasonable to the purpose of the day. I eat something at breakfast, when I think it might have been better only to have drank two or three dishes of tea. I meditated partly before breakfast, and partly after upon my late conduct. I find many things very much amiss, which I shall take notice of in the next article. I humbled myself before God for them again and again, but it was in a poor broken manner. read some penitential cries and some of Mason's hymns; but I did not select either of them so properly as I might have done. I gave my pupils a lecture on self-examination, and I managed it much to my satisfaction. My heart was apparently in it, and I hope that God was with us. Immediately after dinner time I went to the Meeting, and there preached of the regard which Christians ought to maintain towards the Lord's Supper, even when they cannot have an oppor tunity of attending upon it, from Psalm xlii. 6. Omy God,

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my soul is cast down within me; therefore will I remember thee from the land of Jordan, and of the Hermonites from the hill Mizar; but not with a great deal of spirit, and it was wrong to fix on a day for this extraordinary secret devotion, in which the former part was to be employed in preaching to my pupils, and the latter in such a public service. In the afternoon I went to see Mr., which was wrong; because it was not a family where I could take so much freedom of religious discourse, as I might conveniently have done at some other places. And then I went to sup with Mr. where I did not take a becoming care to improve my discourse. Besides, I staid out so late, that some of the family missed the opportunity of being present at family prayer; the fault of which was in part chargeable upon myself. This likewise threw me so late into the evening, that I was forced to dispatch family prayer at home in a very hasty manner, and to sit up abundantly too late for secret devotion, which was dispatched something better than usual, but not entirely with a becoming care. From these indiscretions in the management of this day, which yet, as I hope, answered some valuable end, I would learn the following.

Rules for the better observance of a secret fast.

I GENERALLY propose, for the time to come, to observe the Saturday immediately preceding the sacrament as a day of extraordinary secret devotion. On the Friday night I will endeavour to have dispatched whatever is necessary for my preparation for it; particularly will have read over all my diary, and what other memorandums may be of use to me in the fast itself. I will rise in moderate time, neither excessively early nor remarkably late; I suppose generally about six o'clock. I will endeavour to fix upon my mind a sense of my own unworthiness while rising: and then

will solemnly address God for his assistance in all the particular services of the day, of which I will have a plan more particularly than this drawn up. I will then read, and afterwards expound in the family some portion of Scripture, which is more peculiarly suitable to such an occasion as this, and will take care to make a collection of such lessons. After having prayed it over, and seriously read some suitable psalms, I will set myself as seriously as I can to review the memoirs of my past conduct; and especially from the last monthly day of this kind. I will put such questions to myself as those I used yesterday, and will record my sins with their peculiar aggravations, that I may humble myself before God for them; and my mercies, with the circumstances that set them off, that I may return solemn thanks to God for them. Having made a catalogue of hints on both these subjects, I will then go into the presence of God, and particularly confess my sins, owning the demerit of them. After I have spent some time in previous meditation upon them, I will read some sacred poems, which may properly speak the language of that godly sorrow. will then solemnly renounce them in the Divine presence, and renew my covenant again, and consider what methods

it is

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proper to take, that I may avoid them for the time to come. I suppose a devotional lecture with my pupils will come in as a part of the work of this day, and an important part it will certainly be, and which I shall endeavour to dispatch as diligently as I can. I will afterwards generally spend some time in prayer to God for them and my people and family. The remainder of my work shall be praise, with which I think I ought to conclude even humiliation days; though sometimes I shall allot a larger and sometimes a smaller share to it, as peculiar circumstances of time and place require. I will then, perhaps, about three o'clock, take a little refreshment, but it shall not be too

much. I will perhaps employ a little time in talking with my pupils about inward religion; which I may possibly do with peculiar advantage, after I have been lecturing to them on such a subject, and praying for them in so particular a manner. The evening I will spend in the grave conversation of some pious friends, with whom I can use great freedom, as to the state of their souls, and I will take care neither to eat nor drink too freely at supper, nor to hurry over family or secret devotion, and will keep in this book an account of

[The continuation of this article is wanting in the MS.]

NORTHAMPTON, SATURDAY, JANUARY 31, 1730. My relish for the peculiar doctrines of the Gospel has been too low and small. I have very often been talking of them, never more frequently than of late, but God and my own conscience know how little I have been affected with them. O that God would give me a deeper sense of my own guilt and of my own weakness, which hardly any body upon earth has more reason to be sensible of, that Christ and the Spirit might be dearer to my soul !

On the whole, I cannot apprehend that I have improved in religion the last year, nor that I have made any considerable improvement even since my removal hither, though I promised myself great matters from it. However, I hope, by Divine grace, it is not yet too late, and I do now solemnly renew those resolutions which I yesterday repeated again and again in the presence of God, and I will endeavour to search and try my ways, and to turn my feet to his commandments. May the fulness of his Divine grace add efficacy to these resolutions, and prevent a relapse, which, after what passed yesterday, will be attended with peculiar aggravation.