FESTIVALS OF ENGLAND.

MICHAELMAS DAY.

"There's many a slip,

"Twixt the cup and the lip."

GAMMER GURTON.

Mr. Mucius Moffatt was the Boy at Messrs. Raisin and Maccaroni, Grocers, Italian Warehouse, City Road.

Not that by 'boy' we mean an apparition of head and apron, occasionally discovered weighing butter in a dark corner-not so; our boy was a handsome young fellow in a fogle and whiskers-as upright and consequential as the strange figure, half negro, half highlander, always smoking at the door. Still M. M. was the boy in the shop; and we would argue that the word 'boy' by no means involves puerility. Only a week since we were travelling in a post-chaise-at one stage there appeared to be some delay in starting. The hostler assigned as a cause, 'that the boy had not arrived.' A paralytic veteran in boots appearing in the distance, Here he is-here he is,' was the cry, and the boy of seventy was hoisted wheezing to his saddle. Wordsworth says

"The child is father of the man!"

a seeming paradox, unless supposed to refer to the grown up families of post children.

Mucius Moffatt very odd name Mucius more singular than Moffatt. We will explain it. M. M.'s father was an usher in an establishment called 'The Yellow Boys' School,'-not signifying boys of an exclusively sallow complexion, but universally dressed in yellow breeches, etc., the founder conceiving that as the expenditure of his yellow boys had promoted the charity, he had a right to keep his goodness in perpetual remembrance by a juvenile masquerade. 'Boys! Boys!-there-playing at marbles,'-don't forget ME, cried the ghost of Justus Goodman-some time merchant-look at your yellow breeches.'

M. M.'s father mended pens,-could teach accounts,-recollected having seen the Annals of Rome, by the historian Trimmer,-observed an account of an individual who put his hand in the fire, by name Mucius-very much astonished at this conduct, though remembered having been present when a party in connexion with the Phoenix Insurance did the same-could swear that Mrs. M. accidentally burnt her hand with a kettle just before her confinement-could distinctly state that the child in consequence was christened Mucius'—and believed that alliteration had nothing to do with it.

It was the 1st of April, the postman stopped at the Italian warehouse, and the letter he brought for Mucius announced a legacy of 1007. from an aunt, If the spelling had not been rather awkward, we should

have at once traced an analogy between those most respected relativesaunts, and an amiable insect of a symphonious appellation. Bless their old hearts, they're always so provident! and dashing young flies, who have buzzed and glittered all their summers, come in for a share.

We will give Mucius three days of cigars and Eagle Tavern, to recover his surprise, and after that we find him determined to leave the shop, spend his 100 as quickly as possible, and with the reputation of a moneyed man to make his fortune.

M. therefore lets the hair grow on his upper lip-wears a white cloth zephyr-uses a cane that would have been just long enough for a crutch, if the chimpanzee had turned lame-inclines his hat slightly on one side -swears a little-looks into bonnets-speaks confidently of horse-flesh, and sets off for the Isle of Wight.

Any individual standing on the pier at Ryde on the evening of the 10th of April, 1843, might have observed our hero smoking a cigar on the deck of the Portsmouth packet. He might also have distinguished a middle-aged female of stout deportment and florid complexion, with a large feather on her bonnet and a good deal of plaid shawl, sitting very near Mucius; and when the final "stop her " was pronounced, and the ropes duly attached to the pier side, the spectator would certainly have allowed that M.'s attentions to the lady and her luggage (which consisted, by the way, of three bandboxes, a large wicker-work basket covered with black oil-skin, and an overgrown reticule) were decidedly empresses. We shall now give an extract from M. M.'s journal, which will more ably pourtray his life at Ryde than any fancy description of our own :

"April the 15th.-Got up at seven o'clock. Dressed for a walk on the pier-shooting jacket and cap, with no shirt collar. (The elegant negligent, as the nobs say, rather suits me). Called at Eliza's for the dog-took it to the pier head for a washing-apprehensive by its behaviour in the water that the animal hadn't learnt swimming-relieved when I found it soaked and gasping on the beach.

"Twelve o'clock,-Dressed accordingly for a sail; (small straw hat, turn down collar, blue jacket and trousers). Met Eliza on the pier and proposed taking her on the water; she said she couldn't abide the brine.' N.B. Rather prefer the Thames myself; so smoked a cigar instead, and went home to dinner.

"Four o'clock.-Dressed for the Prom Nard (blue sirtoot, satin vest, and whites). Met Eliza walking with that little gentleman from town. N.B. Don't like him at all.

Eliza said, 'She'd never seen so many flouncing girls before; children of eighteen and twenty just out of the nursery giving themselves airs like grown-up folks-and so dressed-she quite blushed for her sect."

"I took the opportunity of remarking, in one of my sotto voices, You whip them all into fits, Lizzy, in point of general loveliness.'— Small gentleman interrupted, with 'you young men must find the railway very handy to run down from the shop here for a lark.'

"'Sir,' said I, 'I have just arrived from my country place, 'Oh, provincial connexion,' replied he, it's just the same.' Whispered to Lizzy, to get rid of him, so she sent him to look at some fishermen, and then we turned and gave him the slip.

"Eight o'clock.-Growing dusk, Lizzy and I sat down in one of the alcoves on the pier. Pressed her hand, and told her I was rather tired of bachelor life, and anxious to share my fortune with one of the sex. Eliza stooped down and patted the dog. In short, said I, if you are not otherwise engaged (here I put on one of my regular melters), and will consent to link your fate with mine, I'll leave the army, and we'll settle in some fashionable watering place. Eliza was so much agitated, that she only answered hysterically,-"Thine! Thine!" I threw myself at her feet, and clasped her hands, at which crisis the dog flew at me (N.B. Hate dogs); and the little gentleman from London entered the alcove,-jumped up, feeling very awkward. Little gentleman, whose name is Ellison, by the way, took no notice, but sat down by our side.

"Fishermen, very interesting objects,' began he, 'quite a group, as the artists say. Suppose you get away to the Surrey, sometimes, Moffatt ! seen T. P. Cooke in the nautical line, perhaps !'

"Our circle do not frequent that house,' replied I.

"Ah, well! those fishermen remind me of that party rather,' continued he.

N.B.-This Ellison talks without ceasing.

"Nine o'clock.-Took Eliza home. cigar on the pier. Dressed accordingly. Glengarry cap, etc.)

Ellison asked me to smoke a

(P. coat with wooden buttons,

"Do you know Maccaroni?' said Ellison. I said Yes,' almost involuntarily, but immediately qualified with-'I employ a tradesman

of that name in town.'

"Oh, ah! I understand,' replied he, want to hook the old woman I suppose, eh?' With this observation, he inserted his thumb in my ribs, and, looking up at my face, winked very slightly.

"I left him as soon as possible, and went to bed.

Many days passed like the 15th of April, during which sundry expeditions were made by i promessi sposi,' but in which Ellison generally managed to join. One was a steam-boat trip round the island, weather and women very squally round the Needles, Moffatt was very ill indeed, which Ellison enjoyed greatly, calling it one heavy swell disagreeing with another.' Another trip was a coach journey to Ventnor; Ellison

happened to go the same day. A character that Ellison-talking to everybody,-rattling on laughing - punning, and chattering. He was a short slight man, almost dressed in black, with a gold watch chain and large seals. Before five minutes of the journey was over, everybody in the front of the coach knew that he was a jeweller from town, out for three weeks. Next Ellison, sat a rather stout middlesized young man, with light curly hair, fresh complexion, and bright merry eyes. His dress inclined very slightly to the slang,-black cutaway, with light summer coat over it, trousers white, with light blue stripe. He spoke a good deal to a pretty young lady, who chanced to be travelling the same way. He also leant forward once to the coachman to remark that the off-wheeler was a well-shaped mare.Ah!' said the coachman, looking back pleased, that old mare has been many a long day with the Puckeridge Hounds, and now she pulls the coach all her own way,-it's breed as does it, Sir.' Ellison saw and heard, and thus spoke-'That North-Eastern Line, when it's open to Cambridge, will be very convenient to you gentlemen, Sir!' He was right. The Cantab smiled, and Ellison began a long conversation with him. Was not Ellison glorious at Shancklin Chine; did not he manage to give Eliza his arm; and did not he stop Moffatt's mouth with a cigar; and did not he chaff the waiter at the inn, and order a bottle of soda water with a bottom of brandy, and recommend it to the Cantab; and did not the Cantab prefer porter?

But we linger in our story,-the end of June arrived, Ellison had returned long ago to London. Eliza Barton had breathed still stronger vows to Moffatt. Mucius had spent 601. out of his 100%., but he didn't care for that, he had 'hooked the old woman,' to use Ellison's phrase, and she had plenty of money. Eliza Barton was a widow, a fact which she made a point of not disclosing. She was the widow of a grocer, -M. M. would have fainted at the mention of that occupation. She had a 100l. a year of her own, and she managed to make it look like three. So much for E. B.

'Well,' said Mucius, on the 1st of July, I have got 407., and I'll have a lark in town for that, before I settle down to a married life."

So persuading E. B. that he had a few arrangements to make in London, and at his country seat, he left Ryde, promising a brisk correspondence, which, too, he kept up,-for the "old woman" was too good a catch to be trifled with.

July-August." Reg'lar lark," will, perhaps, be the most laconic way of detailing these months. But we have not so much to do with Reg'lar lark," as with the 10th of September, when Mr. Moffatt landed at the Pier-head, Ryde.

No fairy form (13 stone, perhaps, comes under the head of quasi

fairy) awaited his arrival. But he had not advanced far when Eliza broke on his sight. "Alone? No,-heavens! Arm in arm? Yes,by George, with Ellison? Well, I never!"

"My dear Eliza!" passionately exclaimed M. M., "how delighted I am to see you."

Thought you were coming on the 1st," said Eliza.

So I was, dearest; but I was enticed by the Shooting." 66 Shooting Gallery, Leicester-square. Plenty of birds,-ha! ha!

ha!" interrupted Ellison.

That evening Moffatt did not feel at all easy about his future prospects, but was agreeably surprised to find the next morning that all things were apparently right,-the widow gracious, and Ellison, though very waggish, cordial. The marriage was finally settled for Michaelmas-day, the license obtained,-but, lo and behold, the evening before arrived this fatal letter:

To Mr. Mucius Moffatt,

"Miss Eliza Barton's compliments and thanks to Mr. Mucius Moffatt, and you thought to deceive me, did you? You miserable overgrown errand-boy ;-go back to your short sixes and sugar. Your only town-house is your master's shop; and E. B. hopes, if you ever do live in the country, it will be New South Wales,-Botany Bay's your sphere. You rascal-you thought to hook the old woman,' did you? Good bye, dearest, To-morrow's goose day.

"

"ELIZA BARTON."

Twelve months have passed. Last Michaelmas-day poor Ellison was up at seven, nursing the baby, which was unusually vocal, boiling water for the biscuit powder, when the fire was unusually low, and finally waiting breakfast very long for Eliza, who was unusually late. My dear Elly!" cried she, as she floundered in, “this is our wedding day." "Ah!" said Ellison, with a comic forlorn look, and a deep sigh, goose day." At that moment a railway 'bus stopped at the shop door; Elly was sent out. The cad was a good-looking young man. It was a present from a country friend. Here, old fellow," cried the cad, as he brought the emblematic and seasonable bird from the roof of the carriage, "I hope this will prove better than the old 'un in the house there!" Saying this, and shaking his fist at Mrs. Ellison, who was frowning at the window, Moffatt jumped up behind; the 'bus rolled on, and the "Bank! Bank!" of the once fashionable Mucius, resounded in the distance.

L'ENVOY.

The writer of these trifling sketches having now drawn them to a close, would claim the parting privilege of saying a word concerning