122 THOUGHTS. CHAPTER II. "Alas! what boots it with incessant care MILTON'S Lycidas. THERE is nothing more salutary to active men than occasional intervals of repose-when we look within, instead of without, and examine almost insensibly (for I hold strict and conscious self-scrutiny a thing much rarer than we suspect) what we have done, what we are capable of doing. It is settling, as it were, a debtor and creditor account with the past before we plunge into new speculations. Such an interval of repose did Maltravers now enjoy. In utter solitude, so far as familiar companionship is concerned, he had for several weeks been making himself acquainted with his own character and mind. He read and thought much, but without any exact or defined object. I think it is Montaigne who says somewhere" People talk about thinking; but, for my part, I never think, except when I set down to write." I believe this is not a very common case, for people who don't write think as well as people who do; but connected, severe, well-developed thought, in contradistinction to vague meditation, must be connected with some tangible plan or object; and therefore we must be either writing men or acting men, if we desire to test the logic and unfold the symmetrical and fused colours of our reasoning faculty. Maltravers did not yet feel this, but he was sensible of some intellectual want. His ideas, his memories, his dreams, crowded thick and confused upon him; wished to arrange them in order, and he could not. He was overpowered by the unorganized affluence of his own imagination and intellect. He had often, even as a child, fancied that he was formed to do something in the world, but he had never steadily considered what it was to be, whether he was to become a man of books or a man of deeds. He had written poetry he MALTRAVERS BEGINS TO COMPOSE. 123 when it poured irresistibly from the fount of emotion within, but looked at his effusions with a cold and neglectful eye when the enthusiasm had passed away. Maltravers was not much gnawed by the desire of fame-perhaps few men of real genius are until artificially worked up to it. There is in a sound and correct intellect, with all its gifts fairly balanced, a calm consciousness of power, a certainty that, when its strength is fairly put out, it must be to realize the usual result of strength. Men of second-rate genius, on the contrary, are fretful and nervous, fidgeting after a celebrity which they do not estimate by their own talents, but by the talents of some one else. They see a tower, but are occupied only with measuring its shadow, and think their own height (which they never calculate) is to cast as broad a one over the earth. It is the short man who is always throwing up his chin, and is as erect as a dart. The tall man stoops, and the strong man is not always using the dumb-bells. Maltravers had not yet, then, the keen and sharp yearning for reputation; he had not, as yet, tasted its sweets and bitters-fatal draught, which, once tasted, begets too often an insatiable thirst! neither had he enemies and decriers whom he was desirous of abashing by merit; and that is a very ordinary cause for exertion in proud minds. He was, it is true, generally reputed clever, and fools were afraid of him; but as he actively interfered with no man's pretensions, so no man thought it necessary to call him a blockhead. At present, therefore, it was quietly and naturally that his mind was working its legitimate way to its destiny of exertion. He began idly and carelessly to note down his thoughts and impressions; what was once put on the paper begot new matter; his ideas became more lucid to himself; and the page grew a looking-glass, which presented the likeness of his own features. He began by writing with rapidity, and without method. He had no object but to please himself, and to find a vent for an overcharged spirit; and, like most writings of the young, the matter was egotistical. We commence with the small nucleus of passion and experience, to widen the circle afterward; and, perhaps, the most extensive and universal masters of life and character have begun by being egotists. For there is, in a man that has much in him, a wonderfully acute and sensi 124 DELIGHT IN COMPOSING. tive perception of his own existence. An imaginative and susceptible person has, indeed, ten times as much life as a dull fellow, "an he be Hercules." He multiplies himself in a thousand objects, associates each with his own identity, lives in each, and almost looks upon the world with its infinite objects as a part of his individual being. Afterward, as he tames down, he withdraws his forces into the citadel, but he still has a knowledge of and an interest in the land they once covered. He understands other people, for he has lived in other people-the dead and the living; fancied himself now Brutus and now Cæsar, and thought how he should act in almost every imaginable circumstance of life. Thus, when he begins to paint human characters essentially different from his own, his knowledge comes to him almost intuitively. It is as if he were describing the mansions in which he himself has formerly lodged, though for a short time. Hence, in great writers of history-of romance-of the drama-the gusto with which they paint their personages; their creations are flesh and blood, not shadows or machines. I ought, perhaps, to apologize for these reflections; but, if I do so, I must apologize often in this narrative. For, after all, it will mix much of the essay with the novel; and I have abstained enough from the didactic in my later fictions to make me hope I may have my own way in this. Maltravers was at first, then, an egotist in the matter of his rude and desultory sketches; in the manner, as I said before, he was careless and negligent, as men will be who have not yet found that expression is an art. Still those wild and valueless essays, those rapt and secret confessions of his own heart, were a delight to him. He began to taste the transport, the intoxication of an author. And oh what a luxury is there in that first love of the muse! that process by which we give a palpable form to the long-intangible visions which have flitted across us; the beautiful ghost of the ideal within us, which we invoke in the Gadara of our still closets, with the wand of the simple pen. It was early noon, the day after he had formed his acquaintance with the De Montaignes, that Maltravers sat in his favourite room, the one he had selected for his study from the many chambers of his large and solitary habitation. He sat in a recess by the oper window which looked on the lake; and books were scattered on his table, and Maltravers was idly noting down his criticisms on what he read, mingled with his impressions on what he saw. It is the pleasantest kind of composition, the note-book of a man who studies in retirement, who observes in society, who in all things can admire and feel. He was yet engaged in this easy task, when Cæsarini was announced, and the young brother of the fair Teresa entered his apartment. "I have availed myself soon of your invitation," said the Italian. "I acknowledge the compliment,” replied Maltravers, pressing the hand shyly held out to him. "I see you have been writing; I thought you were attached to literature. I read it in your countenance, I heard it in your voice," said Cæsarini, seating himself. "I have been idly beguiling a very idle leisure, it is true," said Maltravers. "But you do not write for yourself alone; you have an eye to the great tribunals, time and the public.” "Not so, I assure you, honestly," said Maltravers, smiling. "If you look at the books on my table, you will see that they are the great masterpieces of ancient and modern lore; these are studies that discourage tyros." "But inspire them." "I do not think so. Models may form our taste as critics, but do not excite us to be authors. I fancy that our own emotions, our own sense of our destiny, make the great lever of the inert matter we accumulate. 'Look into thy heart and write,' said an old English writer, who did not, however, practise what he preached. And you, signor-" "Am nothing, and would be something," said the young man, shortly and bitterly. "And how does that wish not realize its object?" 66 Merely because I am an Italian," said Cæsarini. "With us there is no literary public, no vast reading class; we have dilettanti, and literati, and students, and even authors; but these make only a coterie, not a public. I have written, I have published; but no one listened to me. I am an author without readers." Sir Philip Sidney 126 VITALITY OF AMBITION. "It is no uncommon case in England," said Maltravers. The Italian continued: "I thought to live in the mouths of men, to stir up thoughts long dumb, to awaken the strings of the old lyre! In vain. Like the nightingale, I sing only to break my heart with a false and melancholy emulation of other notes." "There are epochs in all countries," said Maltravers, gently, "when peculiar veins of literature are out of vogue, and when no genius can bring them into public notice. But you wisely said there were two tribunals, the public and time. You have still the last to appeal to. Your great Italian historians wrote for the unborn; their works not even published till their death. That indifference to living reputation has in it, to me, something of the sublime." "I cannot imitate them, and they were not poets," said Cæsarini, sharply. "To poets, praise is a necessary aliment; neglect is death." 66 My dear Signor Cæsarini," said the Englishman, feelingly, "do not give way to these thoughts. There ought to be in a healthful ambition the stubborn stuff of persevering longevity; it must live on, and hope for the day which comes, slow or fast, to all whose labours deserve the goal." -it "But perhaps mine do not. I sometimes fear sois a horrid thought!" "You are very young yet," said Maltravers; "how few at your age ever sicken for fame. That first step is, perhaps, the half way to the prize." I am not sure that Ernest thought exactly as he spoke; but it was most delicate consolation to offer to a man whose abrupt frankness embarrassed and distressed him. The young man shook his head despondingly. Maltravers tried to change the subject-he rose and moved to the balcony which overhung the lake; he talked of the weather; he dwelt on the exquisite scenery; he pointed to the minute and more latent beauties around, with the eye and taste of one who had looked at nature in her details. The poet grew more animated and cheerful; he became even eloquent; he quoted poetry and he talked it. Maltravers was more and more interested in him. He felt a curiosity to know if his talents equalled his aspirations; he hinted to Cæsarini his wish to see his compositions; it was just what the |