can afford? Bread, herbs, a * bottle of wine, may be purchased with it; to which neceffaries add fuch others as being with-held, human nature would be uneasy with itfelf. What, to watch, half dead with terror, night and day, to dread profligate thieves, fire, and your flaves, left they should run away and plunder you; is this delightful? As for me, I should always with to be very poor in poffeffions held upon these terms. But if your body should be disordered by being feized with a cold, or any other cafualty fhould confine you to your bed; you have one that will abide by you, prepare medicines, intreat the phyfician that he would raife you to your feet, and restore you to your children and dear relations. Nor your wife, nor your fon, defires your recovery; all your neighbours, acquaintance, nay the very boys and girls, hate you. And do you wonder, that no one tenders you the affection, which you by no means merit, fince you prefer your money to every thing else? But if you think to retain, and preferve for your friends, the relations which nature gives you, without taking any pains; wretch that you are, you lofe your labour equally, as if any one fhould train an afs to be obedient to the rein, and run in the Campus Martius. At last, let there be fome end to your searching after riches and fince you have more than enough, be in less dread of poverty; and begin to ceafe from your toil, that being acquired which you coveted: nor do as did one Umidius, 'tis no tedious ftory, who was fo rich he measured his money, but so fordid that he never cloathed himself any better than a flave; and, even to his laft moments, was in dread left want of bread should ftarve him but his freed-woman, the † bravest of all the daughters of Tyndarus, cut him in two with a hatchet. *Sextarius, which is here rendered a bottle, was about a pint and balf measure. ONLY + Helen and Clytemneftra, the daughters of Tyndarus, killed their husbands, Deiphobus and Agamemnon, with this weapon. Quid mi igitur fuades? ut vivam Mænius? aut fc Ut Nomentanus? Pergis pugnantia fecum Frontibus adverfis componere. non ego avarum Cum veto te fieri, vappam jubeo ac nebulonem. Eft inter Tanaim quiddam, focerumque Vifelli: 105 Eft modus in rebus; funt certi denique fines, Quos ultra citraque nequit confiftere rectum. 110 Illuc, unde abii, redeo. nemon' ut avarus Ut cum carceribus miffos rapit ungula currus; Jam fatis eft: ne me Crifpini fcrinia Lippi (a) Neque fe meliori. 115 I 20 SATYRA What therefore do you perfuade me to? That I fhould lead the life of a* Mænius? Or in fuch a manner as a Nomentanus ? You are going now to make things tally, that are contradictory in their natures. When I bid you not be a mifer, I do not order you to become a spendthrift and a prodigal. There is fome difference, Sure, between the case of +Tanais and his fon-in-law Vifellius: there is a mean in all things; finally there are certain boundaries, on either fide of which moral rectitude cannot exist. But I return now from whence I digreffed. Can no one, after the mifer's example, like his own station, but must rather praise those who have different pursuits? And pine because his neighbour's fhe-goat bears a more diftended udder? Nor confider himself in relation to the greater multitude of poor? But labour to furpass, first one, and then another? Thus the richer man is always an obstacle to one that is haftening to be rich as when the courfer whirls along the chariot, difmiffed from the place of starting, the charioteer pushes at thofe horfes that outftrip his own, defpifing him that is left behind coming on amongst the laft. Hence it is, that we rarely find a man, who can truly fay he has lived happy, and con tent with his past life, can retire from the world, like a fatisfied gueft. But what I've faid at present is fufficient: nor will I add one word more, left you should fufpect that I have plundered the fcrutore of the bleareyed Crifpinus. *Mænius and Nomentanus, two infamous prodigals. † Tanais and Visellius, two perfons labouring under disorders of very oppofite natures. A voluminous feribler. SATYRA II. Improbos, dum vitia quædam declinant, in contrăria in A cidere. Mbubaiarum collegia, pharmacopola, 5 Mendici, mimæ balatrones; hoc genus omne Moftum ac folicitum eft cantoris morte Tigelli : Quippe benignus erat. contra hic, ne prodigus effe Dicatur, metuens, inopi dare nolit amico, Frigus quo duramque famem depellere poffit. Hunc fi perconteris, avi cur atque parentis Præclaram ingrata ftringat malus ingluvie rem, Omnia conductis coemens obfonia nummis ; Sordidus, atque animi quod parvi nolit haberi, Refpondet: laudatur ab his, culpatur ab illis. Fufidius vappæ famam timet ac nebulonis, Dives agris, dives pofitis in fenore nummis. Quinas hic capiti mercedes exfecat; atque Quanto perditior quifque eft, tanto acrius urget: 15 Nomina fectatur, modo fumta vefte virili 10 21 Sub patribus duris, tironum. maxime, quis non, 25 Inguen Bad men, when they avoid certain vices, fall into their oppofite extremes. HE tribes of minstrels, quacks, ftrollers, mi dejected on account of the death of the finger Tigellius: for he was liberal towards them. On the other hand, this man, dreading to be called a spendthrift, won't give a poor friend even wherewithal to keep off cold and pinching hunger. But if you ask him why he wickedly confumes the noble eftate of his grandfather and father in tastelefs gluttony, buying with borrowed money all forts of dainties; he answers, because he is unwilling to be reckoned fordid, or a man of a mean fpirit: for this he is praised by fome, and condemned by others. Fufidius, wealthy in land, wealthy in money put out at intereft, is afraid of having the chaFacter of a rake and fpendthrift. This fellow deducts per cent, intereft from the principal at the time of lends ing; and the more defperate in his circumstances any one is, the more feverely he pinches him : he hunts out the names of young fellows that have just put on the * toga virilis under rigid fathers. Who does not cry our, O fovereign Jupiter! when he has heard of fuch knavery? But you'll fay, perhaps, this man expends upon himself in proportion to his immenfe gain. What he? You can hardly believe how little a friend he is to himself: infomuch as that † father, whom Terence's comedy in. troduces as living miserable after he had caused his fon to run away from him, did not torment himself worfe than he. Now, if any one should ask, to what purpose does this matter tend? Ianfwer to this; namely, while fools fhun one fort of vices, they fall upon their oppofite extremes. Malthinus walks with his garments trailing upon the ground; there is another droll fellow *The Roman youths put on the toga virilis, or manly geron, at about seventeen. + Menedemus, in the Heautontimorumenos. who |