Fame, heaven, and hell, are thy exalted theme, 'Such hints alone could British Virgil* lend, And fame, when shared with him, is double fame, 'Permit these lines by thee to live-nor blame 'So some weak shoot, which else would poorly rise, 'TO THE SPECTATOR-GENERAL. 'Mr. John Sly humbly showeth, That upon reading the deputation given to the said Mr. John Sly,t all persons passing by his observatory behaved themselves with the same decorum as if your honour yourself had been present. That your said officer is preparing, according to your honour's secret instructions, hats for the several kinds of heads that make figures in the † See No. 526, and note. * Addison. realms of Great Britain, with cocks significant of their powers and faculties. That your said officer has taken due notice of your instructions and admonitions concerning the internals of the head from the outward form of the same. His hats for men of the faculties of law and physic do but just turn up to give a little life to their sagacity: his military hats glare full in the face; and he has prepared a familiar easy cock for all good companions between the abovementioned extremes. For this end he has consulted the most learned of his acquaintance for the true forms and dimensions of the lepidum caput, and made a hat fit for it. Your said officer does further represent, that the young divines about town are many of them got into the cock military, and desires your instructions therein. That the town has been for several days very well behaved: and further your said officer saith not. STEELE. T. No. 533. TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 11. Immo duas dabo, inquit ille, una si parum est: PLAUT. Nay, says he, if one is too little, I will give you two, SIR, 'TO THE SPECTATOR. 'You have often given us very excellent discourses against that unnatural custom of parents, in forcing their children to marry contrary to their inclinations. My own case, without farther preface, I will lay before you, and leave you to judge of it. My father and mother both being in declining years, would fain see me, their eldest son, as they call it, settled. I am as much for that as they can be; but I must be settled, it seems, not according to my own, but their liking. Upon this account, I am teased every day, because I have not yet fallen in love, in spite of nature, with one of a neighbouring gentleman's daughters; for out of their abundant generosity they give me the choice of four. "Jack," be gins my father, "Mrs. Catharine is a fine woman. "—"Yes, sir, but she is rather too old:""She will make the more discreet manager, boy." Then my mother plays her part. "Is not Mrs. Betty exceeding fair?"—"Yes, madam, but she is of no conversation; she has no fire, no agreeable vivacity; she neither speaks nor looks with spirit."-"True, son; but for those very reasons she will be an easy, soft, obliging, tractable creature.". "After all,' cries an old aunt, (who belongs to the class of those who read plays with spectacles on,) "what think you, nephew, of proper Mrs. Dorothy?""What do I think! why I think she can not be above six feet two inches high.". "Well, well, you may banter as long as you please, but height of stature is commanding and majestic.""Come, come, says a cousin of mine in the family, "I will fit him; Fidelia is yet behindpretty Miss Fiddy must please you."-"Oh! your very humble servant, dear coz, she is as much too young as her eldest sister is too old." "Is it so indeed," quoth she, “good Mr. Pert? You who are but barely turned of twentytwo, and Miss Fiddy in half a year's time will be in her teens; and she is capable of learning any thing. Then she will be so observant; she will cry perhaps now and then, but never be angry." Thus they will think for me in this matter wherein I am more particularly concerned than any body else. If I name any woman in the world, one of these daughters has certainly the same qualities. You see by these few hints, Mr. Spectator, what a comfortable life I lead. To be still more open and free with you, I have been passionately fond of a young lady (whom give me leave to call Miranda) now for these three years. I have often urged the matter home to my parents with all the submission of a son, but the impatience of a lover. Pray, sir, think of three years: what inexpressible scenes of inquietude, what variety of misery, must I have gone through in three long whole years? Miranda's fortune is equal to those I have mentioned; but her relations are not intimate with mine. Ah! there's the rub. Miranda's person, wit and humour, are what the nicest fancy could imagine; and though we know you to be so elegant a judge of beauty, yet there is none among all your various characters of fine women preferable to Miranda. In a word, she is never guilty of doing any thing but one amiss (if she can be thought to do amiss by me,) in being as blind to my faults as she is to her own perfections. I am, sir, "Your very humble obedient servant, MR. SPECTATOR, "When you spent so much time as you did lately in censuring the ambitious young gentlemen who ride in triumph through town and country in coach-boxes, I wished you had employed those moments in consideration of what passes sometimes withinside of those vehicles. I am sure I suffered sufficiently by the insolence and ill-breeding of some persons who travelled lately with me in a stage-coach out of Essex to London. I am sure when you have heard what I have to say, you will think there are persons under the character of gentlemen that are fit to be no where else but in the coach-box. Sir, I am a young woman of a sober and religious education, and have preserved that character; but on Monday was fortnight it was my misfortune to come to London. I was no sooner clapt in the coach, but to my great surprise, two persons in the habit of gentlemen attacked me with such indecent discourse as I can not repeat to you, so you may conclude not fit for me to hear. I had no relief but the hopes of a speedy end of my short journey. Sir, form to yourself what a persecution this must needs be to a virtuous and chaste mind; and in order to your proper handling such a subject, fancy your wife or daughter, if you had any, in such circumstances, and what treatment you would then think due to such dragoons. One of them was called a captain, and entertained us with nothing but filthy stupid questions, or lewd songs all the way. Ready to burst with shame and indignation, I repined that nature had not allowed us as easily to shut our ears as our eyes. But was not this a kind of rape? Why |