"A cow and a calf,
"An ox and a half,

"Was Robbin a Bobbin's morning bit."

And afterwards, it is sublimely added, that
"He licked the ladle, and swallowed the spoon,
"And was not full when all was done."

There are others, who are scarcely less deserving of a statue than those last mentioned, who plume themselves on having drunk bottles of brandy, decanted dozens of madeira, and swilled oceans of port. Such heroes shall have a niche in the Temple of Fame, about to be established under the direction of the savage Piomingo.

THEOLOGY.

The antient Greeks and Romans worshipped a multitude of gods: the heavens, the earth, and hades swarmed with innumerable divinities. All the virtues and vices of humanity, and all the operations of nature, were under the direction of superintending deities and these gods being unaccountably prolific, there was no space left in nature that did not teem with their progeny. The progress of science and the light of the gospel have contributed to lessen the number of immortals. Jupiter has forsaken the Capitol, the thunder has been wrested from his hand, and the father of gods and men is forgotten. Neptune has lost the dominion of the waves, and Pluto, the empire of the shades. The sun is no longer in the chariot of Apollo, nor the moon under the regency of his sister. Paphos and Cyprus are deserted by Venus, and Samos and Argos by Juno. Mercury has lost his wand, and Pallas her egis. Etna and Lemnos remain; but where is the blacksmith of Jupiter? The wind raises the waves without the assistance of Eolus, and the storm is calmed without the interference of Neptune. Bacchus. is deprived of his thyrsis, and the mysteries of Ceres are secure from profanation. Thetis and the nereids are no more; we hear not the shell of the tritons. The dryads. and hamadryads have forsaken the woods, and the naiads: deserted the fountains. Hippocrene is dry; the muses have :

escaped to heaven. The shepherds have lost the protection of Pan, and the orchards the care of Pomona. Priapus has ceased to fray away' the birds, or interrupt the incantation of witches. No longer

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Satyrs and sylvan boys are seen,

Peeping from forth their alleys green,"

The harpies are expeiled from their kingdom; and the sirens have ceased to practise their allurements.

Charon has been shipwrecked in the Styx; Cerberus has been deprived of his heads; and the snakes have been taken from the furies. Mines is no longer judge; Phlegethon has ceased to burn; and the frogs of hell have desisted from creaking. The wheel of Ixion revolves no longer; the Danaides have filled their urns; and Sisyphus rests from his labors. The pythia is not forced to the tripod; the cave of Trophonius is neglected; and the smoke of the sacrifice has ceased to ascend. Where is the oak of Dodona? where are the sibyls of Cuma?

But there is one of the antient divinities who has maintained his situation in opposition to the efforts of philosophy and the benign influence of the gospel. He is worshipped with more sincere devotion at this day, than he has been at any former period. His temples are crowded from morning until evening by humble votaries of all sexes and ages. They do not serve him with "mere lip service;" for they have "his law written in their hearts." He is not the true God: yet they adore him "with all their heart, and with all their soul, and with all their strength, and with all their mind.” They offer up at his shrine, as freewill offerings, every thing that is precious and valuable. He is not Moloch: yet they make their children pass through the fire for his sake.

He is a very old god, and has performed innumerable exploits of the most heroic kind. A thousand volumes, in folio, would not be sufficient to contain the thousandth part of the wonders he has effected. What are the labors of Hercules, the feats of Samson, the wars of the giants, the building of pyramids, the turning aside of rivers, and removing mountains? What are such trifles as

these when compared with the stupendous operations of the god of the civilized world?

Question: Who is he?

Answer: He was worshipped by the children of Israel in the wilderness, when Moses tarried so long in the mount. Do you know him?

There are not seven thousand in the United States, who have not bowed the knee to this Baal of the moderns, and whose lips have not kissed him. By the antients he was called Plutus; in heaven, he is not known; and on earth, he is yclept The Mammon of unrighteousQuid non mortalia pectora cogis,

ness.

Auri sacra fames?

Longing after immortality.

The desire of being remembered when we are no more is deeply implanted in the human mind. We all cast "a longing lingering look behind" and desire to know what will be said of us when we are no more. "I shall not altogether die!" was the triumphant exclamation of a poet of antiquity, when speaking of the productions of his brain: "I shall leave a memorial of myself" is the idea of the swain who rudely carves the initials of his name on the glossy surface of a beech tree in the forest.

The idler who cuts letters with his knife on the benches in our public walks, the poet who writes verses with his pencil on the boards of the summer house are equally anxious that at least some part of them may escape the ravages of the gloomy Libitina.

We do not attempt to condemn this propensity merely because it discovers itself in trifles. No: had circumstances favored the ambition of these candidates for immortality, they might have plundered cities, ravaged kingdoms, established empires, and become "mighty hunters" on the earth. This is the same principle which induced men in early ages to say to each other: "Go to, let us build us a city and a tower, whose top may reach to heaven; and let us make us a name

[COMMUNICATION.]

Piomingo, As I know that you have perused with considerable attention our sacred books, and frequently attended our places of worship, in your peregrinations through these United States, I cannot resist the inclination I feel to request you to give the public some idea of the impression these things made on your mind.

Does there not appear to be an immense disparity between the conduct of the primitive and modern christians? Were you not, at first, almost led to form the conclusion, that the latter could not be derived from the former? Or did you suppose it possible that they might be the same people in a state of extreme degeneracy and degradation? The principles and practice of the early christians appear to have been consentaneous; but will any person in his senses assert that the conduct of the moderns is conformable with the precepts laid down in their books?

I do not intend to request you to particularize all the instances in which this disparity is glaringly apparent. That would be an unreasonable request. This is a boundless subject: and were you to engage in it, I know not how you would bring it to a conclusion. Of one thing I am certain; the topic would not easily be exhausted.

Should you be fortunate in your present undertaking, I hope you will touch on this subject occasionally. It must be admitted, on all hands, that every man of honor is bound by the professions he thinks proper deliberately to make; therefore, no man, nor set of men, can think it hard that their actions should be compared with that standard which they have deliberately and solemnly published to the world, as the rule by which their conduct is to be regulated.

I hope, Piomingo, that you will not be backward to take notice of the errors and follies you may observe among us. If we go wrong, we cannot plead ignorance as an excuse or palliation for our errors. We have enjoyed great advantages over your nation and the other aborigines of America. They, alas! have long wandered in the devious paths of error; but I hope the time is not far distant when they who have walked in darkness will see a marvellous light.

Old Age.

"Thou shalt rise up before the hoary head, and honor the "face of an old man- -I am the Lord."

This benevolent precept is found in the law, which was delivered to Moses. The Jews may, for aught we know to the contrary, observe this commandment; but the christians, we suppose, consider it as a part of the ceremonial law; and therefore not binding on them or their posterity. We have often heard religious sophists discuss this knotty point about the moral and ceremonial laws with uncommon ingenuity. Whenever any of the precepts or commandments found in the five books of Moses or indeed in any part of the Old or New Testament, appeared repugnant to the doctrines of the church or the practices of the faithful, these biblical critics will be sure to inform you that they are a part of the ceremonial law; and therefore not to be observed by christians under the new dispensation. Now as we have never seen a young christian "rise up to the hoary head or honor the face of an old man," unless his age were supported by wealth or authority, we are necessarily led to suppose that the precept above mentioned is considered as a part of the ceremonial law of the Jews, and imposes no obligation on "the children of the kingdom."

Among the savages of America age is universally respected. All unite to honor the face of the ola man whenever he appears, whether his blanket be old or new, his pipe plain or ornamented with silver. But among the civilized Americans I have always seen age, particularly if it exhibited any appearance of poverty or infirmity, neglected or insulted.

Does the old man appear desirous to relate any of his boyish exploits; no one is disposed to listen. No one can afford time to attend to the old dotard, who had better be in his bed or in his grave than to be here boring us with his antediluvian performances.

If the old man be possessed of any property, it is a hundred to one but some finely polished and highly civilized young christian will observe, "Damn the old codger: I wish he was in hell, and I had his money."