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night. Tickets $5.” I hesitated a moment, then walk ed on—who knows but what I may get it?'
1 said to myself. I stopped—turned about-still hesita
ting— Try again,'I heard, and retracing my steps, I 40 went into the office. A number of my acquaintances
were sitting there smoking. --The vender gave me a cigar, and after a while asked me if I should not like to try my luck in the lottery, which he was expecting
every moment to hear from; his clerk having gone out 45 to await the opening of the mail. So saying he hand
ed me out a package of quarters, which he prevailed on me to take, and pay twenty-five dollars; the price he sold them at. The clerk soon after came in with a list of
the drawing; and I left the office that evening, one 50 thousand dollars better off than when I entered. But
where for? For home? No-for the tavern; all went for a treat. At midnight, I went home to my anxious, sleepless wife, in a fit of intoxication. This was her
first experience. 55 A week went by, and Eliza began to smile again.
The excitement I was in that night, she admitted as an excuse for my conduct. But she tenderly advised me, nay, on her knees in the stillness of our chamber, every
night she implored God to have me in his keeping,—to 60 preserve me from temptation. I was ashamed of myself;
and I solemnly swore to abstain altogether from tickets. My wife was herself again. Months passed away;-a charge was entrusted to my keeping-a holy charge. I
was presented with a son. He took his father's name. 65. Thank God! he will not bear his sorrows_his shame!
I was happy as man need be for a year. Business prospered— I enjoyed good health, and was blessed with a happy home where all was peace.
PART II. I said I was happy_I was at times; but there was a secret thirst within me for riches—and yet I was not avaricious_nor was I parsimonious. But the desire had
been awakened—the hope been encouraged, that, by 5 venturing little, much might be had: and although by
lottery gambling, yet a burning thought of gain—of gain by lotteries—agitated me day and night. In the day time, when about my busineşs, the thought that by ven
turing a few dollars I might draw enough to make me 10 independent of labour—to allow me to live at ease, was
uppermost in my mind; and every night I received a large sum of prize money. I strove to banish such desires from my mind; but they haunted me like an
evil spirit. 15 About eighteen months after taking my oath, a grand
scheme was advertised to be drawn on a certain day in my own town. I felt a strong propensity to try my luck again.
I was importuned by friends to buy tickets--the scheme was so good—the chance of success 20 was so great; but I thought of the oath I had taken, and
was firm in my denial. The day of drawing drew nigh. The vender who sold me the prize urged me to take a few tickets—I was also urged by others—even in the presence of my wife. But I resisted it.
But I resisted it. She, trusting 25 me, said not a word—she knew my oath was pledged
-she knew that I remembered it, -and she had confidence in my keeping it sacred. She only gave a glance of pleasure, it may be triumph, as she heard me refusė
my friend's invitation.—That night I dreamt that a par30 ticular number would be a fortunate one—that I purchas
ed it, and it came up the highest prize. When I arose in the morning my firmness was a little shaken—it was the day of drawing A friend came into my store in the
forenoon and showed me a parcel of tickets; amongst 35 them I saw the number of
dream! He offered them to me-I forgot myself—I mocked my God—I broke my oath; I did not stay in the house at noon any longer than to hurry through with my dinner.—My wife's
presence was a burden to me; her happy smile discom40 fited me, and her cheerful tones went to my heart like a
reproach. From that day her presence was a curse to me;—not that I loved her less-not that she had changed—but how could I stand before her, perjured as I was,
and she the while not doubting my innocence-how 45 could I without feeling my unholiness? A thousand times
that forenoon did I resolve to seek my friend and return him the ticket, and so often did I break them. Conscience smote heavily. But the prize, thought I, will
check it. Fool, to think paltry gold would reconcile 50 an offended God-would buy off punishment!
The lottery was drawn that afternoon. That evening I sat
alone with my wife in her, room. She was talking of the folly of some men, in not being contented with what
they possessed, and for being ever on the search for more. 55 'How many hearts have been agitated-wound up to the
highest pitch, this afternoon, in hopes of drawing a prize,' said she. What could I do? I was there, and had to listen to her, although each word seemed like a burning
coal at my heart. She continued 60 • And how many have spent that, which should have
gone for bread and clothing for their families—and for what? For a vain hope of obtaining more! for a piece, of mere coloured paper! And think you, my husband,
there has been no vows violated, no oaths broken this 65 afternoon?' I made no answer, and she went on-If
there are any such, and if they have been unfortunate, how bitter must be their disappointment, and how doubly keen their remorse! Are you not, David, better
pleased with yourself this evening for not buying tickets 70 —allowing you had not pledged your oath not to med
dle with them—than you would have been, had you purchased them and made money by it?' Thus did the woman talk to me, as though I were as pure and guilt
less as herself. She knew not that at the moment her 75 words were like daggers to my heart—that at every mo
tion of her lips my soul writhed in agony;--she knew not that my pocket book was crammed with the accursed tickets-blank tickets! And when she poured out her
soul in prayer that night, she knew not that he, for 80 whom she prayed, dared not listen to her words, but stopped his ears.
So it was. Do, my dear husband, stay at home, one evening this week! You shall read to me, or I will read to you!
come, keep me company this evening.' Thus said my 85 wife one evening, as she took me affectionately by the
arm, a tear at the same time filling her eye. Brute that I was! I shook her off repulsively, scarcely deigning her a reply as I went out. I was an altered man-my
innocence had departed from me I had perjured my90 self. My oath once broken I still continued to break
it. Not a lottery was drawn but that I had some chance
Most of my hours were spent in lottery offices. I neglected my business debts ae
95 cumulated-wants came upon me; and I had nothing
to satisfy them with but a hope-a hope, that at the next drawing I should be lucky. As cares increased I went to a tavern for relief. Remorse gnawed at my heart like a worm. It had drank up
my happiness. When 100 I first broke my oath I thought gold would still my con
science. Gold I had none, so I attempted to ease it by strong drink. Rum burnt up my tender feelings-my better nature; but it only added to the quenchless fire
that was raging at my heart. It was not uncommon for me 105 at this stage, to get intoxicated every night. Oft have I
staggered home to my patient, dying Eliza—for my conduct was making sad inroads on a constitution naturally delicate; and without a shadow of cause fell to
abusing her. What insult and misery has not that wo110 man endured! and all brought on by me, her husband,
her protector! About this time our child died. I dare not think of his death-how it was brought on. child might have lived longer-perhaps he might-but
he complained of being cold sometimes, of wanting 115 clothes; and sometimes his cry for bread was vain. It
was a great shock to my wife; and her gradual failing, day by day sobered me, and made me thoughtful. But what had I to do with reflection? The past was made
up of sharp points, and when I turned to it I was 120 pierced! and the future—what could I anticipate? what
was there in store for me? So I closed my ears shut my heart to the starving condition of Eliza, and became, a brute again.
PART III. It was in the evening of a wet, cloudy day, that I sallied forth from my boarding hovel, to shame and sin, to learn the fate of my last ticket. To obtain it, I had to
dispose of a Bible, which belonged to my late wife--iny 5 dead Eliza—and which was the dying gift of her mo
ther. It was the last thing that I held that had belonged to her. One by one, had I disposed of what little effects she left, to gratify my passion for drinking and
gambling. I had lost all feelings of shame. My wife 10 had been dead two years.,
The ticket I now had was to seal my fate. I had fasted more than one day to obtain means to purchase
it; I had even stinted my drink for means, so strong
was my passion for gambling. Well, I went into the 15 office and called for the prize list. At a glance I saw
my hopes were frustrated; and crushing the list convulsively in my hand, I muttered a deep oath and stalked out of the office. That ticket indeed sealed my fate.
The world owes me a living, and a living I will have!' 20 I said to myself as I turned away with a despairing
heart and walked up the street. My mind was suddenly made up to a strong purpose.
There is money!' I said between my teeth, as I sauntered along meditat
ing some desperate deed. I knew not the time of night; 25 it was late, however, for the stores were all closed, when
a man brushed by me. As he passed I saw it was the vender of tickets—the man who had sold me the first and last ticket the man to whom I had paid dollar
after dollar, until all was gone. He had a trunk in his 30 hand, and was probably going home.
thought I, “has received from me even to the last farthing; shall not I be justified in compelling him to return a part? at least ought he not to be made to give me
something to relieve my misery-to keep me from starv35 ing?'. Such was my reasoning, as I buttoned my jack
et and slowly followed him. Before reaching his house, he had to pass over a lonely space, where there were no houses, and at that time of the night but little passing.
He had gone over half this space, when I stepped 40 quickly and warily behind him; and grasping with one
hand his collar and with the other his trunk, in a gruff voice demanded his money.
The words were barely uttered before I was grappled by the throat. He was a
strong man, and he had a dangerous hold. I put forth 45 all my strength to shake off his grasp, striking him at
the same time in the face and breast, but without availhe still kept his hold. Finding that something decisive must be done, for I could with difficulty breathe, I
clasped him round the middle, and giving him a sud50 den jerk we both fell to the ground. I fell underneath and he had me in his power.
I struggled in vain to free myself. He still held me by the throat, and he began to cry for assistance. What was to be done? I
had a jack knife in my pocket-there was no time for 55 reflection-my left hand was free—it was the work of
a moment—the hot blood spirted from his heart full in