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No. VI.-DECEMBER, 1822.

DIE VENERIS, Nocte 15ta Mensis Decemb.

PRESENT THE EDITOR'S MOST EXCELLENT MAGAZINITY IN COUNCIL. North, (proloquitur.) Mr. Odoherty, it is to be hoped you have not come to such an affair as this, to eat the flesh of the wild boar of the forest, and the red deer of the hills, at the expense of our noble friend, without preparing a small canticle in honor of his giftssomething in the occasional way, as it were?

Odoherty. If the Hogg will take the Boar, I will venture on the Deer.

Hogg. Done for a saxpence-here's my thumb: sing ye awa, Captain, and I'll be casting for an edèeo in the meantime.

Odoherty. Look sharp, if you get a nibble, Shepherd-I nunc et versus,―here goes then.

Odoherty (sings.)

1.

There's a Spanish grandee on the banks of the Dee,*

A fine fellow is be-a finer is none ;

For though he is so great, and high in estate,

He is also first-rate in the peerage of fun.

Then fill to Lord Fife, in condiments rife

To the end of this life his career may he run;

And his tree that hath stood, at the least since the Flood,
Oh! may't flourish and bud till our Planet's undone !

2,

When our Monarch was here, this munificent peer
Did in glory, 'tis clear, make the famousest show,
With his swapping gray fillies, and "naked-feet" gillies;
Their Set-Outs look'd like Diilies--but his was the go.
Even the King took delight, in that equipage bright,
Through Auld Reekie, by night, for to ride to and fro;
When I look'd through the pane, I saw Him and the Thane:
Ere I die, once again let me look on them so.

3.

How genteel were his looks—not at all like some dukes,
Who stood shivering like rooks in a pluvious day-

* The Earl of Fife holds a Spanish title of nobility, and is also a General officer in the Spanish army. He obtained these honors during the Peninsular War.-M.

1822.]

LORD FIFE'S COUNTRY.

Sure his graceship of Brandon has but little to stand on,*
When he doth abandon the Gothic array.

If a man of that rank must sport such a shank,
My Maker I thank for my humble degree;

But I'd rather by half, have the Thane's rousing calf,
And enjoy a good laugh, with fine trews to my knee.

4.

Fill a glass to the brim, and down pour it to Him

Who our grave Sanhedrim doth so love and revere;
Who hath given his command, that the fat of his land
Be bestowed on the band of philosophers here.
The Boar of the wood hath to-day been our food,

And some slices we've chewed of a very fine Deer;
Till expires life's last ember, I'm sure we'll remember
The fifteenth of December-the chiefest of cheer.

5.

Let us hope he'll produce such affairs for the use
Of our gastric juice, merry years not a few;
Our bountiful friend may on one thing depend-
Such a feast shall not end sans disturbing the screw
No! by jingo, each throttle shall imbibe the sum-tottle*
Of a tappit-hen bottle of Chateau-margaux,—
Excepting old Hogg, who must stick to his grog,
Or else speedily jog to give Satan his due.

257

North. Very well, Adjutant. You are all filled; take the time from me-The THANE-(Here the roof is nearly brought down with a three-times-three.)

Hogg. But wha ever heard o' wild boars in Scotland at this time o' day?

North. Why, I believe the Thane has introduced the breed among the remains of the old Caledonian forest on his Mar estate. Hogg. What a grand country that is o' the Thane's! Did you never see it, Mr. North?

North. Only a slight view when I was at Deeside, for our famous 12th of August-but I'm sure 'tis not for want of invitations I don't see more of it. Here is a letter I had from the Thane this morning, in answer to my acknowledgment of the hamper which has just been contributing to your comforts.

Kempferhausen. I believe it is acknowledged, that the Thane has as fine estates as any nobleman in Scotland, and has done a vast deal for them.

Hogg. Oh! nothing like that magnificent country-nothing in all the North; and anybody may see it, for there are most noble roads through woods extremely valuable and important to the country, being now almost the only remains of the Caledonian Forests;

* The Hereditary Keeper of Holyrood Palace, head of the Douglas family, is the Duke of Hamilton in Scotland, and Brandon on the peerage of England.-M.

↑ Vide Hume passim.-C. N.

Odoherty. A fig for the Constitutional-you see they don't dare

to meddle with Lord Byron!

Hogg. What has Byron been doing in their line?
Odoherty. The Liberal, you know.

Tickler. Poo, poo, Odoherty, you know as well as I that he had very little to do with that humbug.

Odoherty. To be sure I do―There's nothing of his in it but the Vision of Judgment, and the Letter to Granny Roberts.

North. What do you think of those compositions, Timotheus? Tickler. I have never thought much about them. But it strikes me that the VISION is vastly inferior to BEPPO, to say nothing of the exquisite DON JUAN. It contains a dozen capital stanzas or so, but on the whole 'tis washy.

Odoherty. What a shame it is to banter such a respectable man as Dr. Southey at this rate-so uncalled for-so out of taste-so indefensible-so scurrilous!

Hogg. Hear till him! He has face for ony thing.

Tickler. I think Dr. Southey is the fairest of all subjects, for my part. The man's arrogance and dogmatical airs are worthy of much severer castigation than they have ever yet met with. Just open one of his articles in the Quarterly-what slow, solemn, pompous, self-conceit runs through all he writes. Do you remember the conclusion of his Brazil Balaam?

North. I am ashamed to say I never saw the work.

Tickler. Who ever did? but at the end of those two thumping leaden quartos about Caziques, hieroglyphical pictures, and so forth, thus saith the Doctor-"Thus have I finished one of those great and lasting works, to which, in the full vigor of manhood, I looked forward as the objects of a life of literature."-Tis something like that, however did you ever hear such like stuff?

Odoherty. Often from the Lakers. They're a high speaking set of boys.

Kempferhausen. Oh, Mr. North, Mr. North! that I should live to hear such words spoken at your table. I'm sure you respect Southey, and adore Wordsworth in your heart. Mein gott! mein gott! North. I respect Southey as one of the most accomplished scholars of the age; but I no more dream of mentioning him in the same day with the god Pan, than I should of classing a Jeffrey with a Hlogg.

Tickler. Allow me to utter a few mouthfuls of common sense.
Omnes. Out with them, Timothy.

Tickler. The fact of the matter is this-Lord Byron overdoes his satire. People won't suffer a Dunciad now-a-days with but one Dunce in it. And the world were not thinking of Mouthy Southey

or his hexameters.

258

NOCTES AMBROSIANÆ.

[Dec.

and if you will look at Barlow on the Strength of Timber and his Experiments, you will see that the timber there beats the Riga red pine. The Thane is careful to preserve it for the use of the country, whenever it may be wanted. The roads extend over mountains, the sides of some are defended by great dykes, and all planted to join the old wood, and to preserve the young natural plants. I assure you, Mr. North, that the place is well worth your attention whenever you can find time to see it.

North. I shall go next year, I think.

Tickler. What is best of all is, that the comfort of the people is attended to, and I do not believe there is a Highland district where the poor are so well provided. There is one side of the country kept for sheep, and the other for deer. Some of the highest mountains in the kingdom are to be seen. One of them is considered to be as high or higher than Ben Nevis-the Dee also rises in the Forest. All through Lord Fife's country great improvements are taking place. The Abbey of Pluscardine, near Elgin, has been

restored.

Odoherty. Hogg, you've been "glowring frae you," and preaching long enough; incipe nunc, musa !

Hogg. I canna sing yet, Captain: just bear wi' me till I've had another tumbler or twa-that's a good fellow, now—I'll gie ye sangs anew or the morn's morning.

North. No compulsion here; this is Liberty Hall: but you must tell a story, Shepherd, or drink the forfeit.

Hogg. Ae braw simmer day I was sitting wi' my corbie-craw piking at my taes and auld Hector, puir chield, him that's awaand wha should step in to tak his morning wi' me but Tammy Braidshaw, ye ken

Tickler. Come, come, Chaldean sage; we've all heard that a hundred times.

Hogg. Weel, try your haund yoursell. I'm to tell a' my new stories here forsooth, and what would come of my new Winter Evening Tales, think ye.

Tickler. To be sure mutton's a drug at present. What news from Germany, Meinheer Kempferhausen ?

Kempferhausen. The celebrated professor of Ingolstadt, Doctor Blumensucker, is about to put forth his long-expected work "De Re Chaldea,"-full notes, capital portraits of every body.

North. Bravo! Vir Clariss.—I wonder no London bookseller gets up an illustrated edition of the Chaldee-Barker for Editor.* Tickler. The Constitutional would be at it.†

* Edmund Henry Barker (born 1788, died 1839.) was one of the most eminent of modern scholars. He edited Stephens' "Thesaurus Linguæ Græcæ," a gigantic performance. Besides this, he edited Prolegomena to Homer, Lempriere, and other school books. He contributed largely to the Classical Journals, the British Critic, and other periodicals.-M.

The Constitutional Society, in London, prosecuted small vendors of sedition and irreligion, but were too well bred to trouble offenders of rank or wealth.-M.

North. There's some truth there. Nothing should be parodied but what is well known.

Tickler. Is the old song of An Hundred Years Hence well known?

North. Come, away with your parody then, if you have it in your pocket.

3

4

"Let

(TICKLER sings, accompanying himself on the fiddle.)

us drink and be merry, Dancé, joke, and re-joice, With cla- ret, and

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bo, and voice." So sings the old song, And a good one it

is; Few better were writ -ten From that day to this: And I hope I

may

say it, And give no offence, Few more will be better An hundred years hence.

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