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Mr. Fox, only he begged leave to retain the brush; and Price leapt at the offer, declaring he would have him stuffed, and placed at the winder of his Box at Hampstead.

"That's the Captain's lauch," quoth the Shepherd, and forthwith entered Odoherty, picturesquely ornamented with moorfowl, snipes, and flappers, all dangling round his waist, as one might suppose as many scalps round an Indian warrior. His fine features were stained with gunpowder and blood, and Mr. Tims had nearly fainted away. "Allow me, gentlemen, to introduce Timothy Tickler, Esq.," said the Standard-bearer, and in a trice he stood before us in all his altitude. His musket, with the bayonet fixed, was in his hand, and over his shoulders hung a young roe which he had slain in the forest. Even Seward of Christchurch, and Buller of Brazennose,_stood astounded at the apparition. "By the ghost of Dinah Gray, Buller, there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in Aristotle's philosophy." There, Mr. Editor," quoth Tickler, "is John Roe-Richard Doe has escaped mortally wounded;" and with that, he threw down the creature at our feet. At that moment was heard the bugle-horn of Wastle; and by the time "that a man with moderate haste might count a thousand," he and the physician were in the tent. "My dear friend, Dr. Morris !" What, Buller of Brazennose !" The meeting was most cordial; but the heat of the tent was quite insupportable, being about 96 of Henry Watson's thermometer-so it was proposed by Tickler to adjourn to the antechamber, whose dimensions could not easily have been

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We mustered very strong-Editor, Wastle, Morris, Tickler, Odoherty, Shepherd, Jarvie, Mullion, Kempferhausen, Seward of Christchurch, Buller of Brazennose, Tims, Price, John of Sky, Lord

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Fife's three gillies, Walter Ritchie, John Mackay, Katterfelto,

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Buller's valet, the Cockney's Londoner, four Highlanders from the

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Spittal of Glenshee, Peter's man John, Wastle's man Thomas.

It was altogether a most animating scene; and it is incredible in how short a time one kind and genial spirit seemed transferred through so great a body of men. "It's all the world like the coffee-room o' Glasgow about four o'clock," said Jarvie; "but, ochone, they'll be no punch-none o' Provost Hamilton's best here." John Mackay informed us, that he and his assistants were all at work, and that in an hour and a half dinner would be on the table. "But hae ye killed ony thing, doctor," quoth the Shepherd. Here Peter's man John, and Walter Ritchie, came forward, dragging several bags along

1819.]

ANTE-PRANDIAL.

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"There are

with them, which disembogued a brown flood of grouse, that overflowed many yards of the sod. Mr. Tims could not believe his eyes, when he saw, counted before them, thirty-seven brace. thirty brace mair o' them," said Watty Ritchie, "scouring for the pan. So much for Wastle and Morris.

The whole party now retired to their toilette, and most of us performed our ablutions in the limpid Dee. We, the Contributors, had greatly the advantage over the Oxonians and the Cockneys, whose wardrobe was at the Spittal of Glenshee; and we could not help observing, that when we ourselves returned to the tent in a full suit of black, little the worse for the gentle wear of three years Sundays, we were looked at with a pleasant surprise, and, if possible, an increased admiration, not only by Tims and Price, but also by Seward of Christchurch, and Buller of Brazennose.

When we all assembled again, furbished and figged up, we made a splendid figure on the mountain-side; and rarely had the heather waved over a finer body of men since the days of Fingal. It is true, that most of us were too sharp-set fully to enjoy the magnificence of the prospect. Yet it made itself be felt. Many hundred stupendous mountains towered up into the cloud-piled sky over a wide horizon -nor was it easy to distinguish earth from heaven as they lay blended together in that sublime confusion. The dark pine-forests of Mar stretched off into the dim and distant day, overshadowing rock and precipice; and in the blue misty hollows of the hill, we knew that unseen tarns and lakes were lying in their solitary beauty. Scarce visible in the dark blue sky, an eagle was heard yelling in wild and sullen fits; and when one gazed up to his flight, it was a grand feeling to imagine the boundless expanse of earth, sea, and sky, that must then have been submitted to the ken of the majestic Bird.

Our readers will observe, that the above little bit of description is not our own, but copied out of Kempferhausen's journal; and we think it not so much amiss, considering that it was pencilled under a severe fit of the toothache. One hour in the drawing-room before dinner is longer than three in the dining-room after it, and this we all experienced, while lying on the greensward before our tent. Even the unwearied wit of Tickler, who lay stretched "many a rood" among the heather, was beginning to lose its charm, when Wastle's man Thomas, a comely varlet about his master's age, advanced with the ceremonious air of a true butler of the old school, and announced that dinner was on the table. Never did thunder follow the lightening so instantaneously, as we all leapt up on this enunciation; and on looking round, we found ourselves in the chair, supported by Wastle and Morris-while Tickler was seated croupier,* supported by

Croupier,-vice-chairman. Probably derived from two men riding on a horse, in which case one must sit on the croup, or loins of the animal, i. e. occupy a secondary or infirm position.

Odoherty and Buller of Brazennose. A principle of the most beautiful adaptation and fitness of parts seemed undesignedly to regulate the seating of the whole party; and we especially observed how finely the High-street face of Seward of Christchurch contrasted itself with the Cowgate face of the Shepherd on the one hand, and the Saltmarket one of Jarvie on the other-while that of Tims looked quite pale and interesting between the long sallow countenance of Kempferhausen and the broad rubicundity of Mullion.

By what magical process the dinner had been cooked we know not; but a fine cut of salmon lay before the chair; while Tickler cried, with a loud voice, "Dr. Morris, shall I help you to some roesoup?" On the middle of the table, midway between Mullion and Jarvie, was an immense tureen of grouse soup, composed, as Peter's man John declared, with uplifted hands and eyes, of fifteen brace of birds! Placed at judicious intervals, smoked trenchers of grouse roasted, stewed, and grilled-while a haunch of John Doe gave a crown and consummation to a feast fit for the Immortal Gods.

The party had just been helped to grouse or roe-soup, when a card was handed to the Chairman (we shall henceforth substitute Chairman in place of Editor) with the single word, A CONTRIBUTOR, written upon it in large characters. We left our seat for an instant to usher in the GREAT UNKNOWN. IT WAS DR. SCOTT, THE CELEBRATED ODONTIST OF GLASGOW.* He was still seated on his famous white trotting pony, with his legs boldly extended in ultra-dragoon fashion from its sides, and his armed heels so much depressed, that his feet stood perfectly perpendicular with elevated toes, and exposed to our gaze those well-known broad and formidable soles which could belong to no other living man but the doctor. On his head was a hat white as snow, and in circumference wide as a fairy-ring on a hill-side-his portly frame was shrouded in a light-drab surtout, and his sturdy limbs in trowsers of the purest milled cord, which, by the action of riding, had been worked up to his knees, and considerately suffered the eye to rest on a pair of valuable top-boots spick and span new for the occasion-no unworthy successors they to those of the Ettrick Shepherd, now no more. A green silk umbrella was gorgeously expanded over the illustrious Ödontist, who, having remained a full minute in all his pride of place, that we might have leisure to contemplate the fulness of his perfections, furled his banner in a style worthy of the Adjutant himself; and shouldering it as if he had been serving in the Scotch Fusileers, exclaimed, "You didna ask me to your tent, ye deevil, but here I am, in spite of your teeth. I heard o' you at Gordon Castle,† and I hae just come up to keep ye a' right

*

This Scott, whom it pleased North to call Doctor, and pass off as a miracle of wit and learning, was an obese odontist (or dentist) in Glasgow, eminent for nothing beyond tooth-drawing, except punch-drinking.

+ In Aberdeenshire. It was the seat of the Duke of Gordon; and Willis, who visited it, has described it in his Pencillings by the Way.-M.

1819.]

THE SQUABASH,

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and tight, ye nest o' veepers." We assured the Doctor that his honest face was always a welcome contribution to us, and that we had not asked him to join the party, solely from a feeling of compassion to his patients. The doctor's boy now ran up to assist his respected master to dismount, in a livery of blue and red, and a smart cockade; for the doctor had been a soldier in his youth, and performed many signal acts of valor in the green of Glasgow, along with the Anderston Volunteers, when that fine body of operatives were commanded by the gallant Colonel Geddes, and the invincible Major Cross. "Gentlemen, Dr. Scott from Glasgow," when such a shout arose as can only be described to those not present by its effects.

"So far was heard the mighty knell,
The stag sprung up upon the fell,
Spread his broad nostril to the wind,
Listed, before, aside, behind-

Then couched him down beside the hind

And quaked among the mountain fern,

To hear that sound," &c.

The Doctor was soon seated; and the drab surtout being felt rather close, he imitated the fashion of Lady Heron in Marmion, and

It all for heat was laid aside."

"Hoo are a' the people o' the West ?" quoth Jarvie, delighted to see a Glasgow face in so high a northern latitude. "Just as you left them, Bailie-a' breaking clean aff by the stump-There's scarcely a house I wad uphald langer than a loose tooth-it's just a' ae general squabash!"

A short pause succeeded; and in the silence of the tent nothing was heard, save the clattering of knives and forks-the clashing of trenchers the smacking of lips-and occasionally those long deep sighs of full and perfect enjoyment, that, be our theoretical creed what it may concerning the summum bonum, are ever felt to breathe out the very inmost soul of all earthly felicity.

Just then arose outside of the tent such a throttling noise of unnumbered dogs, that had Earl Walter, the wild huntsman, been a daylight vision, we must have expected to see him now realized. Amidst the savage growl were heard the loud curses of Celt and Sasenach, maddening the fray which they sought to assuage. "Demme if the Highland curs be not murdering my Juno," exclaimed Mr. Seward of Christchurch, "I would not lose her for the Indies-she was bred by Jack Burton!" We had our own suspicion that Mr. Constable's brown bitch was at the bottom of all this disturbance-but we found it impossible to discover, in this general "colleshangy"* its

* See again Dr. Jamieson.

prime mover. Mr. Price declared himself at ease about the issue of this conflict, as he had purchased his dog Randal from Bill Gibbons,* and a better never entered a ring. The Shepherd did not allow this bravado to pass unnoticed-and we are almost confident that we heard him through the din offering to fight his Hector against the "Southron dog, for a gallon o' whisky and a haggis!" Meanwhile almost a score of dogs were fiercely at work among the heather -nor could we help contrasting with the agitated action of the rest of the party, the cool composure of Morris, the calm curiosity of Wastle, and the eager ecstasy of Tickler, who, standing together on a rock elevated above the scene of action, might, perhaps, be compared to Bonaparte and his staff witnessing the Great Battle from the observatory on the heights of Mont St. Jean.

Order was at last restored-and all the dogs came shaking their ears close to the heels of their respective masters-some of them piteously limping, and others licking their wounds, which were so numerous that it would have required Monsieur Larrey† himself to bind them all up on the field of battle. But a scene, if possible, of yet greater confusion was at hand. A strong body of Celts, collected among the mountains towards the Spittal of Glenshee, advanced, with a most hostile demonstration, to the tent, and demanded £20 for the slaughter committed among their flocks by the outlandish dogs of the four English Gentlemen. We drew up our forces in battle array, to repel the threatened charge of these fierce mountaineers-ourselves commanding in the centre, Odoherty on the right wing, and Dr. Scott on the left. On seeing this, the enemy took up a position in our rear, as if wishing to cut off our retreat to Braemar. Being averse to the unnecessary effusion of blood, we sent off, with a flag of truce, (a sprig of heather in a bottle of whisky) a deputation to the enemy's camp, consisting of the Shepherd and Walter Ritchie as Assessors, and John Mackay as Interpreter, to estimate the damage. On the return of the deputation we found that only one sheep had been worried, and an old tup severely wounded. The fact seemed to be clearly brought home to Mr. Price's dog Randal, and to Mr. Tim's dog Flash-and "as, by the laws of this and every other wellgoverned realm, the crime of murder, more especially when aggravated, &c., is, &c.," preparations were instantly made for carrying the law into effect. Indeed, no other expiation but blood for blood seemed likely to pacify the exasperated Highlanders. Tickler, however, interceded for the lives of both culprits, maintaining, in favor of Randal, that he was born and bred a fighting dog, and that, therefore, to put him to death for such an offence as this now laid to his charge, would be to fly in the very face of nature. His defence of Flash was not equally successful-and indeed it terminated with be

* A London pugilist of some notoriety.-M. † Napoleon's favorite surgeon.-M.

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