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And till he came unto the wash
Of Edmonton so gay.
And, there, he threw the wash about,
On both sides of the way ; Just like unto a trundling mop,
Or a wild goose at play.
At Edmonton,-his loving wife,
From balcony, espied
To see how he dide ride.
“Stop! stop, John Gilpin ! here's the house,”
They all at once did cry; “The dinner waits and we are tired.”
Said Gilpin, “So am I !"
Now Mistress Gilpin, when she saw
Her husband posting down Into the country, far away,
She pull’d out half a crown.
And thus unto the youth she said,
That drove them to the Bell, • This shall be yours when you bring back
My husband, safe and well.”
The youth did ride, and soon did meet
John coming back amain ; Whom, in a trice, he tried to stop,
By catching at his rein.
But not performing what he meant,
And gladly would have done,
And made him faster run.
Away went Gilpin ; and away
Went post-boy at his heels :-
The lumbering of the wheels.
Stx gentlemen upon the road,
Thus seeing Gilpin fly,
They rais'd the hue and cry:
“Stop thief! stop thief! A highwayman!"
Not one of them was mute ;
Did join in the pursuit.
And gallop'd off with all his might,
As he had done before.
Now let us sing, long live the king,
And Gilpin, long live he;
May I be there to see!
II.-AN EMPIRICAL ORATION.
I DR. WALTHO Von BLOUSTERBOURG, last from the Emporium of the Universe,
am just medicines every Saturday, for the benefit of my fellow-creatures. I am a native of Arabia Deserta, citizen and burgomaster of the city of Brandinopolis—am the seventh son of a seventh son, studied chemistry in High Germany—have made myself master of the works of Galen, Hippocrates, Albumagar, and Paracelsus, and am become the Æsculapius of the age. I have studied and was educated in twelve universities, have travelled through fifty-two kingdoms, being counsellor to the counsellors of several monarchs ; am lately arrived from the farthest part of Utopia ; have travelled throughout all Europe, Asia, Africa, and America, from the sun's oriental exaltation to his occidental declination, and have, out of mere pity to languishing mortals, by the entreaties of several dukes, earls, lords, and honorable personages, been prevailed upon to favor this kingdom with my notice, that all persons, young or old, blind or lame, deaf or dumb, curable or incurable, may know where to repair for cure in all cephalalgias, paralytic paroxysms, palpitations of the pericardium,
syncopes arising either from a plethora, or cachochimy, vertiginous vapours, hydrocephalous diastasis, podagrical inflammations, iliac passions, icterical effusions, the ascites, tympanites, anasarca, and the entire legion of the lethiferous distempers. I have the true Carthamophra of the triple kingdom, this never-failing Heliogenes being the tincture of the sun, deriving vigour, influence and dominion from the same light. . It causes all countenances and complexions to laugh or smile at the very time of taking ; is seven years preparing, and being prepared secundum artem, by fermentation, cohobation, calcination, sublimation, fixation, circulation, and qhidlibitification, in balneo mariæ, crucible and fixatory, the athanor, cucurbita, and reverberatory, is the only sovereign medicine in the world. This is Nature's palladium, Health's magazine; and it works seven manner of ways, as Nature herself, requires, for it scorns to be confined to any particular way of operation. If a man chance to have his brains beat out, or head chopped off, two drops seasonably applied will recal the fleeting spirits, reinthrone the deposed archeus, cement the discontinuity of the parts, and in six minutes restore the lifeless trunk to all its pristine functions, vital, natural, and animal. I have it under the hands and seals of all the greatest sultans, sophys, bashaws, viziers, chams, seraskiers, mufties, &c., in Christendom, to verificate the truth of my operations; and that I have absolutely performed such cures as are really beyond common human abilities, is also attested by my aid and assistant—"Togoroogooroo.
III. -THE RAZOR-SELLER.
FELLOW, in a marked-town, most musical cried “Razors !” up and down
and offered twelve for eighteen-pence; which certainly seemed wondrous cheap, and for the money, quite a hap, as every man should buy—with cash and sense. A country bumpkin the great offer heard ; poor Hodge! who
suffered by a thick, black beard, that seemed a shoe-brush stuck beneath his nose ; with cheerfulness the eighteen-pence he paid, and proudly to himself, in whispers, said, “This rascal stole the razors, I suppose ! “No matter, if the fellow be a knave, provided that the razors shave, it sartinly will be a monstrous prize." So home the clown with his good fortune went, smiling in heart and soul content, and quickly soaped himself to ears and eyes.
Being well lathered from a dish or tub, Hodge now began with grinning pain to grub, just like a hedger cutting furze: 'twas a vile razor—then the rest he tried -all were impostors—“Ah!" Hodge sighed, “I wish my eighteen-pence within my purse !”
In vain to chase his beard, and bring the graces, he cut, and dug, and winced, and stamped, and swore ; brought blood and danced, gaped, grinned, and made wry faces, and hacked the razors' edges o’er and o’er !” His muzzle, formed of opposition stuff, firm as a statesman, would not lose its ruff; so kept it -laughing at the steel and suds : Hodge, in a passion, stretched his angry jaws, vowing the direst vengeance, with clenched claws, on the vile cheat that sold the goods. “Razors ! a vile confounded dog ? not fit to scrape a hog!”
Hodge sought the fellow_found him, and began :-"Perhaps Master Razorrogue, to you 'tis fun, that people flay themselves out of their lives : you rascal ! for an hour have I been grubbing, giving my scoundrel whiskers here a scrubbing, with razors just like oyster-knives- Sirrah! I tell you, you're a knave, to cry up razors that can't shave.” “Friend,” quoth the razor-merchant. “I'm no knave, as for the razors you have bought, upon my word I never thought that they would shave.” “Not think they'd shave !" cried Hodge, with wondering eyes, and voice not much unlike an Indian yell ; "what were they made for, then, you dog ?” he cries. “Made !” quote the fellow, with a smile,—" to sell.''
No cockle-shell or cowl had he,
No pilgrim's staff so tall;
If any shoon at all.
He ate, he drank, he praised the ale,
Most sumptuously he fed,
He marched up stairs to bed.
Next morning breakfast was prepared,
Of which he ate his fill;
Brought in the pilgrim's bill.
He heeded not the items there,
But unto Jones did say,
And ne'er bring cash to pay.
« To touch vile polluted ore
My conscience would offend; I neither borrow cash nor plate,
Nor either do I lend.
“ Daughter, I liked thy supper much,
And much I liked thy dressing ; Therefore, for all I have received,
I leave thee, child, my blessing."
Poor Mary Jones astonished stood,
To see the good man pray ;
And thus to him did say:
“I ne'er a pilgrim housed before,
Or such like holy folk;
I bend beneath the yoke.
“No doubt you have a conscience good,
Nor do I mean to shock it;
Bring money in your pocket."
NCE a solicitor of high renown,
The most notorius tricking knave in town, By his pert clerk was asked, a full-grown elf, Just entering on the trade himself,