ize over his stage of six deal boards, and saw-dust in the boxes. Behold him at his morning levee, then bursting with importance, and swelling like a shirt bleaching in a high wind. “Ahem! Timothy !-- This is my court of Apollo, my morning nuisance, my-why, Timothy, I say,-oh, here you come, sir, crawling in like the half-price on a rainy evening-well, sir, who waits ?-anybody wanting the manager ?” “Oh, yes, lots of them, sir; there's a one-armed man inquires if you want another hand; a wooden-legged man to play the Lame Lover; a real blackamoor for Othello; four Romeos; two Hamlets; one Paul Pry; a Warwick ; a Sir John Fallstaff ; a Gertrude ; one Harlequin ; three fools; and a French marquess, to come out in Richard.” "All waiting now, eh, Timothy ?” “Yes sir." “Then tell the one-armed man to take to his heels, and the wooden-legged gentleman to hop the twig, and skip to another branch; Harlequin and the Romeos may keep the fools' company, and send me up the blackamoor and the French gentleman-one at a time.

The man of color having made his entree, after much grinning and gesticulation, thus addressed the astonished manager—"You, Massa Jonko-man ?-keep playhouse-show fine tragedy?" "Massa Jonkoo-man, why---oh! that's blackeylanguage for acting manager, I suppose !—I am, sir, at your service. You wish to appear in Othello, I understand, and to do you justice, you will look the part certainly." "Iss, massey, blackey all through, through, no come off when hug. Now me show how act, massa——Othello peech to him father-in-law.” “What, with that cursed twang, fellow; do you imagine that the noble Moor spoke after that fashion ?-however, even let's have it.” Upon which Chingaree assumed what might be an elegant attitude among his native tribes, and thus commenced the famous oration to the Venetian senate :

“ Most potented sir reverences,
My very good massa !---dat I take away
Old buckra man him daughter,
It all true--true-no lie was.
Den she marry-I inake her my chumchum ,

Dat all I do, 'cause I do no more was !” The manager could listen no longer-_-"Well, sir, if the noble Moor did harangue in that fashion, he might well say, “Rude am I in speech.' “Oh, de angel he, and you the blacker devil.” “You may begone, fellow; for much as the public like novelty, they never could bear your abominable chumchums; and the greatest favor you can do me, is to make your exit as fast as possible.”

Othello having followed the manager's advice, was very speedily succeeded by the French gentleman, whose ambition was to enact Richard Duke of Glo'ster. “Aha, sare je suis, I am come to surprise you—I shall astonish the town, ma foi !

De play has never been persone—it was never perform as I shall perform it. Mais vous etes silent—to all dis you say nothing !” “Then I will say that I shall be extremely happy to have a specimen, monsieur," "Ecoutes vous, shut your mout, listen, and you shall hear—I speak vid your tongue en perfection-je parlez Inglish just like un Inglishman. Aha, sare, je commence vid de beginning. Richard enter solo-attendez moi, look at me:

Now is de winter of our uneasiness
Made into a summer by York little boy, dat is, vat you call de son of York ;
And de dark cloud vhich stick atop of de house,
In de bottom of de sea, dead and buried ?
But as for me, alas ! I have de hump upon my back,
I have de bandy leg--I am unfashionable;

And—for all dis de dog he bark, bow-wow at me,

As I valk by him ;Monsieur, sare, dat is suffice, I hope dat is quite enough.” “Quite enough, and I fear the audience will think it a great deal too much. I must now bid you a good morning

XIX.—THE SNEEZING MAN.

WARD M, FLORENCE.

KINI

IND friends, your attention I ask,

Though I'm almost ashamed to be seen,
By a crowd of such wise looking heads,

For fear of your calling me “green ;''
As stern fate has so harshly ordained

That whenever my wish is to please
All the ladies who gaze upon me,

I'm sure to burst out in a SNEEZE.

My cradle was rocked by a nurse

Whose sneezing was worst than my own
And had it not been as it was,

This curse I would never have known;
I believe in my soul to this day

That she brought it from over the seas,
Where people take pleasure, they say,

In a loud-sounding, horrible sneeze.

When boyhood broke forth in its prime

With school-games, all happy and gay
I had to stand by and look on,

Without ever daring to play ;
But all of the rest of the boys

Would skip and play ball at their ease,
And leave me a-standing just so,
To comfort myself with-a sneeze.

One eve, I was taking a drive

With a lady whose beauty was rare,
And I managed to ask her at last,

What she thought of the cool evening (sneeze) air.
She said, “'Tis delightfully grand,

There is such a ponderous breeze,”
As I turned aside with my nose,

To indulge in a horrible sneeze.

I then became bold after this,

And thought of the life I had led ;
Its loneliness seemed so forlorn

That I asked this young damsel to wed,
And while my heart throbbed for reply,

Came on this infernal disease,
And ere she could answer my words,

The hills had re-echoed a sneeze.

A

PUPIL of the Æsculapian school

Was just prepared to quit his master's rule; Not that he knew his trade, as it appears, But that he then had learned it seven years. Yet think not that in knowledge he was cheated ;

All that he had to study still,

Was, when a man was well or illAnd how, if sick, he should be trated.

“The thought is happy,” the preceptor cries,
“A better method he could ne'er devise ;
So, Bob" (his pupil's name) "it shall be so,
And when I next pay visits, you shall go.”'
To bring the hour, alas ! time briskly fled ;

With dire intent,

Away they went,
And now behold them at a patient's bed.
The master doctor solemnly perused
His victim's face, and o'er his symptoms mused ;
Looked wise, said nothing-an unerring way,
When people have nothing to say ;
Then felt his pulse, then smelt his cane,
And paused and blinked, and smelt again,

And briefly of his corps performed each motion ; Maneuvres that for death's platoon are meant.

A kind of “Make ready, and present !”

Before the fell discharge of pill and potion.

At length the patien's wife he thus addressed ;

“Madam, your husband's danger's great,
And (what will never his complaints abate)
The man's been eating oysters, I perceive.”

“Dear! you're a witch I verily believe,' Madame replied, and to the truth confessed.

Skill so prodigious, Bobby too admired,
And home returning, of the sage enquired,

How these same oysters came into his head ; “Psha! my dear Bob, the thing was plainSure that can ne'er distaess thy brain ?

I saw the shells lie underneath the bed."

So, wise by such a lesson grown,
Next day Bob ventured forth alone,

And to the self-same sufferer paid his court ;
But soon with haste and wonder, out of breath,
Return’d the stripling minister of death,

And to his master made this dread report :

“Why, siró we ne'er can keep this patient under,

For such a man I never came across ; The fellow must be dying, and no wonder,

For, hang me! if he hasn't eat a horse.''

“A horse !" the elder man of physic cried,
(As if he meant his pupil to deride)-
“How came so wild a notion in your

head?''
“How! think not that in my duty I was idle ;
Like you, I took a peep beneath the bed,

And there I saw a SADDLE and a BRIDLE."

XXI.-DOT BABY OFF MINE.

CHARLES F. ADAMS.

MEN

INE cracious! Mine cracious! shust look here und see

A Deutscher so habby as happy can pe.
Der beoples all dink dat no brains I haf got,
Vas grazy mit trinking, or someding like dot;
Id vasn't pecause I trinks lager und vine,
Id vas all on aggount off dot baby off mine.

Dot schmall leedle vellow I dells you vas qveer ;
Not mooch pigger roundt as a goot glass off beer,
Mit a bare-footed hed und nose but a schpeck,
A mout dot goes most to der pack off his neck,
Und his little pink toes mit der rest all combine
To gife sooch a charm to dot baby off mine.

I dells you dot baby vas von off der poys,
Und beats leedle Yawcup for making a noise ;
He shust has pecun to shbeak goot English, too,
Says “mama,” und “bapa," und somedimes “ah-goo!”
You don'd find a baby den dimes out off nine
Dot vos quite so schmart as dot baby off mine.

He grawls der vloor ofer, und drows dings aboudt,
Und poots efryding he can find in his mout;
He dumbles der shtairs down, and falls vrom his chair,
Und gifes mine Katrina von derrible sckare;
Mine hair shtands like shquills on a mat borcubine
Ven I dinks off dose pranks off dot baby off mine.

Dere vos someding, you pet, I don'd likes pooty vell ;
To hear in der nighdt dimes dot young Deutscher yell,
Und dravel der ped-room midout many clo'es
Vhile der chills down der shpine off mine pack quickly goes;
Dose leedle shimnasdic dricks vasn't so fine,
Dot I cuts oop at nighdt mit dot baby off mine.

Vell, deese leedle schafers vas goin' to pe men,
Und all off dese droubles vill peen ofer den ;
Dey vill vare a vhite shirt vront inshted off a bib,
Und vil no more schleeb in deir schmall leedle crib-
Vell! Vell ! ven I'm feeple und in fife's decline,
May mine oldt age pe cheered py dot baby off mine.

XXII.-THE FRENCHMAN AND THE SHEEP'S

TROTTERS.

A

MONSIEUR, from the Gallic shore,

Who, though not over rich, wished to appearso, Came over in a ship, with friends a score

Poor emigrants, whose wealth, good lack !

Dwelt only on each ragged back-
Who thought him rich, they heard him oft declare so ;

For he was proud as Satan's self,
And often bragged about his pelf;

Aud as a proof—the least
That he could give-he promised, when on land,
At the first inn, in style so grand,

To give a “feast !"
The Frenchmen jumped at such an offer,
Monsieur did not forget his proffer.
But at the first hotel, on shore,

They stopped to lodge and board.
The Frenchman order’d, in his way,
A dinner to be done that day.

But here occurred a grivous bore :
Monsieur of English knew but little,
Tapps of French knew not a tittle ;