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Their ale they quaff'd ; And as they swigg'd the nappy, They both agreed, 'tis said,
That trade was wond'rous dead, They jok'd, sung, laughed,
And were completely happy.
The landlord's eye, bright as his sparkling ale,
For ev'ry jest, and song, and merry tale,
Had this blithe ending-" Bring us t'other mug!" Now Dick the glazier feels his bosom burn,
To do his friend Tom Tinker a good turn;
And where the heart to friendship feels inclin'd,
The kettle, gaily singing on the fire,
Gives Dick a hint just to his heart's desire;
And, while to draw more ale the landlord goes,
Then puts the kettle on the fire again,
And at the tinker winks,
Trade success!" he drinks,
Nor doubts the wish'd success Tom will obtain. Our landlord ne'er could such a toast withstand; So giving each kind customer a hand,
His friendship too display'd,
And drank-" Success to trade !"
But, oh! how pleasure vanish'd from his eye,
Soder the only fluid he could view !
He raved, he caper'd, and he swore,
And damn'd the kettle's body o'er and o'er.
"Come, come," says Dick, "fetch us, my friend, more ale; All trades you know must live;
Let's drink- May trade with none of us e'er fail !'
The job to Tom then give:
And, for the ale he drinks, my lad of metal,
Take my word for it, soon will mend your kettle."
But not a word he said:
The plot was in his head,
And off he nimbly trips.
Swift to the neighboring church his way he takes;
Nor in the dark,
Misses his mark,
But ev'ry pane of glass he quickly breaks.
But as he goes,
His bosom glows,
To think how great will be his friend Dick's joy
Return'd, he beckoning draws his friend aside,
And, to Dick's ear his mouth applied,
Thus briefly states the case:
"Dick, I may give you joy; you're a made man ;
I've done your business most complete, my friend :
I'm off-the devil catch me, if he can
Each window of the church you've got to mend ;
Then drops his under jaw,
And all his powers of utterance fail;
While horror in his ghastly face,
And bursting eye-balls, Tom can trace ;
Dick's unknown smart,
And two such phizzes ne'er met mortal view.
"You have indeed my business done!
Tom, Tom, I am a ruined man !
Zounds, zounds! this piece of friendship costs me dear;
I always mend church windows by the year!"
Down drops he then from off his horse,
But not a foot of room was there,
The guests were wedg'd together;
The trav'ller rueful looked about;
"A peck of oysters! oats, good heart !''
All mad to see this wond'rous steed,
They guess him of some monstrous breed,
Back posts the ostler; all, as fleet,
"The deuce he won't?-then faith I must!
And bring my bread, both crumb and crust,
Pepper and vinegar; and I trust
That I'm both glad and able."
OHN DAY he was the biggest man of all the coachman kind, With back too broad to be conceived by any narrow mind. The bar-maid of the "Crown" he loved, from whom he never ranged; For, though he changed his horses there, his love he never changed!
One day, as she was sitting down beside the porter pomp,
He came, and knelt-with all his fat—and made an offer, plump!
In vain he wooed-in vain he sued !—the maid was cold and proud,
At last her coldness made him pine to merely bones and skin,
Worn out, at last he made a vow to break his being's link,
The cruel maid, that caused his love, found out the fatal close;
XLI. THE JESTER'S SERMON.
HE Jester shook his hood and bells, and leaped upon a chair;
The pages laughed; the women screamed, and tossed their scented hair; The falcon whistled; stag-hounds bayed; the lap-dog barked without ; The scullion dropped the pitcher brown; the cook railed at the lout; The steward, counting out his gold, let pouch and money fall,And why! Because the jester rose to say grace in the hall.
The page played with the heron's plume, the steward with his chain;
And when they grew a little still, read half a yard of text,
And, waving hand, struck on the desk, and frowned like one perplexed.
"Dear sinners all," the fool began, "man's life is but a jest,
A dream, a shadow, bubble, air, a vapor at the best.
In a thousand pounds of law, I find not a single ounce of love,
“Let no man halloo he is safe, till he is through the wood.
To travel well,—an ass's cars, ape's face, hogs mouth, and ostrich legs.
Be always first man at a feast, and last man at a fray.
The short way round, in spite of all, is still the longest way.
Then loud they laughed; the fat cook's tears ran down into the pan ; The steward shook, that he was forced to drop the brimming can; And then again the women screamed, and every stag-hound bayed,— And why? Because the motley fool so wise a sermon made.
XLII.-A CHINESE STORY.
C. P. CRANCH.
ONE are so wise as they who make pretense
To know what fate conceals from mortal sense.
This moral from a tale of Ho-hang-ho
Might have been drawn a thousand years ago,
Two young, short-sighted fellows, Chang and Ching,
Fell to disputing which could see the best ;
Standing together at a certain place
In front, where we the letters just may trace;
"Nay, not so soon," said Chang: "I'm bound to go
So t'was arranged; but Ching was wide awake:
By those to whom the great Goh-Bang was dear.”
As babes, of course-these honest fellows went,