myself with computing three benefit nightslet me see six hundred pounds at least-a hundred more for the copy-besides a perpetual freedom of the house.'-These were temptations not to be resisted. I sat down therefore to a tragedy; but, before I got through the first act, despairing to make it sufficiently pathetic for the modern taste, I changed my scheme, and began a comedy; then again reflecting, that most of our comedies were in reality nothing but overgrown farces, contented myself with writing, what authors are now pleased to call a comedy of two acts. This I finished with a great deal of pains, and very much to my own satisfaction but not being able to get it on the stage, as one house was entirely taken up with pantomimes, and the manager of the other had so many farces of his own, I generously made a present of it to an actor for his benefit;-when to my great surprise it was damned. I have at last resolved to bend all my attention, and dedicate all my powers, to the carrying on this my present elaborate undertaking. I am sorry to own, that the success has not at all answered my expectations: I flattered myself with being universally known, read, and admired; but I find quite the contrary. I went into a coffee-house the other day by Whitechapel Mount, where on asking for the Connoisseur, the woman stared at me, and said she did not know what I meant. I dined last week at a foreign ambassador's; and not a word about me or my works passed at table. I wrote to a relation at Caermarthen, desiring to know what reputation my paper has in Wales; but he tells me, that nothing in the literary way comes down there but the King's speech and the London Evening Post. I have inquired into the sale of my first number, my second, my third, my fourth, and the last yet I cannot assure my readers, that I have sold three thousand of any one of them. In short, I give this public notice once for all, that if I do not find myself taken in all over England, by the time I have published two or three hundred papers,-let them look to it-let them look to it-I'll bid adieu to my ungrateful country, go directly to Berlin, and (as Voltaire is discarded) employ my pen in the service of that encourager of literary merit the King of Prussia. ** As several correspondents, since the first publication of this number, have desired to know, from what Italian author the Fable at the beginning of this paper is borrowed; we think it necessary to acquaint them, that the fiction is entirely our own. N° 7. THURSDAY, MARCH 14, 1754. Pænitet hospitii, cùm me spectante lacertos Oscula cùm verò coram non dura daretis, Ante oculos posui pocula sumpta meos.—OVID. I loath'd the dinner, while before my face SIR, To MR. Town. 'I SHALL make no apology for recommending to your notice as Censor-general, a fault that is too common among the married people; I mean the absurd trick of fondling before company. Love is, indeed, a very rare ingredient in modern wedlock nor can the parties entertain too much affection for each other but an open display of it on all occasions renders them ridiculous. A few days ago I was introduced to a young couple who were but lately married, and are reckoned by all their acquaintance to be exceeding happy in each other. I had scarce saluted the bride, when the husband caught her eagerly in his arms, and almost devoured her with kisses. When we were seated, they took care to place themselves close to each other; and during our conversation he was constantly piddling with her fingers, tapping her cheek, or playing with her hair. At dinner, they were mutually employed in pressing each other to taste of every dish; and the fond appellations of "my dear, my love," &c. were constantly bandied across the table. after the cloth was removed, the lady made a motion to retire; but the husband prevented the compliments of the rest of the company by saying, "We should be unhappy without her." As the bottle went round, he joined her health to every toast; and could not help now and then rising from his chair to press her hand, and manifest the warmth of his passion by the ardour of his caresses. Soon This precious fooling, though it highly entertained them, gave me great disgust: therefore, as my company might very well be spared, I took my leave as soon as possible. 6 Nothing is more common than to see a newmarried couple, setting out with a splendour in their equipage, furniture, and manner of living, which they have been afterward obliged to retrench. Thus it happens, when they have made themselves remarkable by a show of excessive love. They begin with great eclat, are lavish of their fondness, at first, but their whole stock is soon wasted; and their, poverty is the more insupport able, as their former profusion has made it more conspicuous. I have remarked the ill consequences of this indiscretion in both cases: one couple has at last had separate beds, while the other have been carried to the opera in hackney chairs. Two people, who are to pass their whole lives together, may surely find time enough for dalliance without playing over their pretty tricks in public. How ridiculous would it appear, if in a large assembly every one should select his mate, and the whole company should fall into couples, like the birds on Valentine's day! And it is surely no less absurd, to see a man and his wife eternally trifling and toying together, Still amorous, and fond, and billing, Like Philip and Mary on a shilling.-HUDIBRAS. 'I have often been reduced to a kind of awkward distress on these occasions; not knowing which way to look, or what to say. I consider them as playing a game, in which the stander-by is not at all interested; and would therefore recommend it to every third person in these circumstances, to take it as a hint, that the parties have a mind to be alone, and leave the room without farther ceremony. "A friend of mine happened to be engaged in a visit to one of these loving couples. He sat still for some time, without interrupting the little endearments that passed between them. Finding them at length quite lost in nods, whispers, ogles, and in short, wholly taken up with each other, he rang the bell, and desired the servant to send in my lady's woman. When she came, he led her very gravely to the settee, and began to indulge himself in certain freedoms, which provoked the damsel to complain loudly of his rudeness. The lady flew into a violent passion, and rated him severely for his monstrous behaviour. My friend begged her pardon with great politeness, hoped she was not offended, for that he thought there had been no harm in amusing himself a little while with Mrs. Betty, in the same manner as her ladyship and Sir John had been diverting themselves these two hours. This behaviour, though at all times improper, may in some sort be excused, where perhaps the match had been huddled up by the parents, and the young people are such new acquaintance, that they scarce ever saw each other till their marriage. Ă pair of loving turtles may be indulged in a little amorous billing at their first coming together: yet this licence should expire with the honey-moon, and even in that period be used but sparingly. But if this conduct is blamable in young people, how very absurd is it in those advanced in years! Who can help laughing when he sees a worn-out beau and belle, practising at threescore the very follies that are ridiculous at sixteen? I could wish, that such a pair of antiquated lovers were delineated by the pencil of a Hogarth. How humorously would he represent two emaciated wrinkled figures, with eyes sunk into their heads, lank cheeks, and toothless gums, affecting to leer, smile, and languish, at each other! But this affectation is still more remarkable, when a liquorish old fool is continually fondling a young wife: though, perhaps, the sight is not so disgusting to a stranger, who may reasonably suppose it to be the overflowings of a father's tenderness for his daughter. 'It sometimes happens, that one of the parties perceives the folly of this behaviour. I have seen a sensible man quite uneasy at the indiscreet marks of kindness shewn by his lady. I know a clergyman in the country, who is often put to the blush by the strange familiarities which his wife's love induces her to take with him. As she has had but an indif |