upon the wo

For the comic

ter of him! for if he has writ one fatire
men, he has writ fifteen upon the men.
poets and fatirifts, whom you mention in general, when
you name them in particular, I fhall give them parti-
cular anfwers. And now truly, fir, fee yourself reduced
to a miferable equipage; fome old hufbands, and jilted
lovers; fome men with ill faces, and worfe meins, may
poffibly stick to you ftill; but that is all: I am forry to
fee a man fo well made, of fo much wit, and who has
been so successful amongst the ladies, rank himfelf with
fuch a tribe; but you do it, I fuppofe by way of variety
only; and fo let Misogynes appear, at the head of his re-
giment, that makes a worse figure than fir John Falftaffe's;
let them be encouraged with ftummed wine and muddy
ale; let them give fire to their mundungus, and fo let
the battle begin, whilft we with all the heroes, wits,
and philofophers, fee how we can defend the cause we
have undertaken.

I am
fenfible, fir, that I have broken the order of your
difcourfe, and I beg your pardon for it: But I thought it
was neceffary to distinguish our enemies from our friends,
before the armies joined, that fo we might know whom
to attack, and whom to fpare; and having done that, I
fhall now confine myself to your method, and follow the
courfe that you please to lead me.

Though I perfectly agree with you in the esteem of the laws made for the encouragement of marriage, and confequently cannot but regret the want of them amongst ourfelves; yet I must beg your pardon, fir, if I wholly diffent from you, in the inference you would draw from it: For it is very apparent to me, and to any unbiaffed perfon elfe, I fuppofe, that thofe laws were never madę, as you fanfy, for the forcing men to the love of women, to which all countries were naturally enough inclined; but for the restraining them to particulars; that whilst they followed the general pleafures of the fex, they might

not lose the useful part, which was the procreation of children. Had there been fo few virtues amongst them, as you please to imagine, there had been no need of this; when we have but one dish of meat that we like, we fall upon that without any deliberation? but when the fancy is distracted with variety of dainties, we often lofe more time in the making our choice, than would otherwife be requifite to the fatisfying our ap, petites.

It is true, fir, it is a very good way to judge of people by the company they are fond of; but it is not a certain way to judge of people by the company that is fond of them. There was a tailor in love with queen Elizabeth, but it does not neceffarily follow that queen Elizabeth was in love with a tailor. If there are ridiculous fellows who follow the ladies, before we run down the ladies for it, let us fee if they do not laugh at them as well as we ourselves. And I cannot think their pursuing them any reafon at all for men of fenfe to avoid them. You would think it very hard that Alexander and Cæfar fhould quit the art of war, because fome Thrafoes and bragging bullies pretended to it as well as they; and Vir. gil and Horace would take it very ill that you should damn all forts of poetry because of the Bavius's and Mævius's, who fet up for it; and whatever reason you would give against the being a minister of ftate, I dare fay fir Politic Woudbee's aiming at it would be none. Here Philogynes feems to me not to understand the right use of that confiderable part of mankind call'd fools; for it is only the half-wit that is intolerable, and a true fool is next a true wit the beft company in the world; for as a noble author has extremely well obferved.

Wit like terce claret, when't begins to pall,
Neglected lies, and's of no ufe at all;

But

But in its full perfection of decay,

Turns vinegar, and comes again in play.

DORSET.

very

ill

After this I need not tell you, fir, that it is judging of people by their outfide; and as I laugh at those who like a man only for his being well dressed, fo I fanfy you will allow them to be as ridiculous who run him down only for the fame reafon. It was objected against Ariftotle and Cicero, that they were too fumptuous in their apparel, and over-curious in their drefs; and without doubt there were deep § critics in those times, faid they minded nothing but making themfelves fine; who yet, without any offence to their learning, we may suppose could not give fo good an account of their ftudies as these two great men have done of theirs.

1

(Courage! there are two good precedents for the beaux.)

After all, fir, I know there are a great many of these gay coxcombs, of thefe eternal pretenders to love; and I have nothing to say in their behalf; let them even shift for themselves amongst the Thrafoes, and Bavius's. But they do not only pretend (you fay) they are fuccessful too. It is very poffible, fir; I do not know but there may be fools enough of the other fex, to like the fools of ours. But it is with the best fort of women too (you fay) that they fucceed. And who tells you fo, pray? they themselves. I fwear, fir, though I have a very great efteem for thofe gentlemen, yet I muft beg their pardon for my faith in this point; I can never think a woman, whofe wit we allow, can be fond of a man

+ Diogenes Laertius in vit. Aristot. Plutarch in vit, Ciceronis.

See Verre's jefts upon Cicero for his effeminacy.

L 3

Plut whofe

whofe folly we all fee. On the other fide, I know how natural it is for every one to avoid contempt; and when a man is defpifed in one place, what so reasonable as to make you believe he is esteemed in another. And I hope the gentlemen themselves will take it for a compliment, when I tell them I do not believe a word they fay in this point; fince certainly a man of honour would rather of the two, tell a lie to the prejudice of a woman who uses him ill, than a truth to the utter ruin of one who grants him all the favours he can ask.

But let us judge them by their actions, fay you! Do not most of the young heireffes run away with the pitiful fellows? If they do, Sir, it should rather deferve your pity than your anger; or if you must be angry, be angry with the guardians whofe feverity frightens them away, and yet hinders them the fight of any men of merit to run away with. It is no wonder that one who has never feen any town but where he was born, fhould think that the finest in the world; and you cannot blame a woman for being in love with a man who does not deferve her, if fhe never faw any who did. All that we can reasonably expect in that point is, that the fhould make fome fatisfaction when fhe fees the world better; and if the fhews her contempt of her choice then, it is as much, if not more, than can be required. In like manner you cannot fay a widow makes an ill choice, except you prove she was offered a better. If a man, who is obliged to ride a journey, does it upon an ill horfe, you will be very well fatisfy'd certainly, when he tells you it is the best he could get. (I confefs, madam, this feems to me but a very indifferent excufe for the widows; for he would make us believe it is but next oars with them; and fo I told my friend; but he reply'd, I must confider it is only those widows who make an ill choice, about which he is to speak; he cannot fay of them, as of the young maids,

and as

that it

was

was for want of feeing the world; fo they must be con. tented with this excufe, or make a better for themselves.) For the wives, who you fay cuckold their husbands, there may be fomewhat more to be faid. Modesty being almost an infeparable quality of wit, there is no wonder that a man who is poffeffed of that, should so seldom fucceed in these undertakings; whilft fools, by their natural impudence push on the thing; and married women are a fort of forts that are fooner taken by storm than treaty. So that this fhews rather the great confidence of the man, than the little judgment of the woman; who it is forty to one had much rather a man of fenfe was poffeffed of her, if he would take the fame methods to gain her as the other had done.

(After all, madam, I think none of these excufes extraordinary; therefore if I were worthy to advise the ladies, they thould rather make ufe of men of wit in all these capacities, than put their friends to the trouble of inventing fuch pitiful defences for them.)

Now, Sir, as I cannot fee any reason why women should naturally love fools more than men of wit, fo I fhall very hardly be brought to believe they do. In a husband I fuppofe they propose a man whofe converfation fhall be agreeable as well as his perfon; and who fhall have wit to entertain them, as well as wisdom to direct them; and in whom can this be found, but in men of the best fenfe? If in a gallant, as you fay, they propose pleasure without fcandal, 'tis very hard the heat that warms a man's brain, fhould fo entirely fettle there as to render him incapable of pleafing them otherwife; though it is poffible, by reafon of his having variety of thoughts to divert him, he may not give himself so entirely up to those pleasures, as people lefs capable of thinking do: and for the fcandal, who fo proper to hinder that, as those who have prudence to manage things fo as not to be found out, and wit enough

LA

to