A DEFENCE OF THE -FAIR SEX. I To EUGENIA. T is a dangerous thing, madam, it must be confeffed, this converfing with fair ladies; and it draws us into inconveniences, of which we do not at first fee the confequences. I little thought, when I talked with your ladyship, of the virtues of your fex, that you would have commanded me to have given my fentiments upon that fubject in writing. I grant you, madam, you might have spoken to feveral of your acquaintance, who would have undertaken the bufinefs at first word, with all the courage imaginable; but to me, who never durft take pen in hand to write any thing beyond a billet, the enterprise seems very terrible. I confefs, when you spoke to me of it first, I was well enough pleased with the defign; for I thought a defence of the fex would be a means of obliging all the fex, who were worth defending; and therefore look'd upon it as the writing a circular love-letter to all the fair ladies in the kingdom. But as men generally mix intereft I 4 with with honour, fo upon fecond thoughts, I confidered what I fhould get by it, befides fame, if it should fucceed, and I found, if I perfuaded all men to be as paffionate servants to the ladies as myself, I should make but a very indifferent hand of it, thus, madam, you would engage me in a controversy, where it would be a fcandal to be vanquish'd, and a disadvantage to overcome; For I, who could never fucceed in an amour where there was any fool pretended befides myself, fhould have great hopes indeed, when I had perfuaded all mankind to be my rivals. After all, madam, there were your commands to encourage me to it; and the commands of a fair lady are to me beyond all the arguments in nature; I therefore refolved upon the undertaking. But as it is no new thing to fee people undertake a business that they are altogether unable to perform, so I must own, I found a thing of this nature quite beyond my ftrength you may believe, madam, I was very melancholy at it, and it was then that a friend coming into my chamber, asked me the occafion. As I never love to conceal any thing that afflicts me from a friend, fo I presently told him the bufinefs, that a lady had commanded me to write her a treatise in defence of women. If that be all (fays he brifkly) I am come to your deliverance; for this very morning have I been at a converfation, where the queftion concerning the virtues and vices of that fex, has been handled as fully as can be defired. Thou appeareft to me, my dear friend, (faid I, embracing him) like my better genius, and therefore, without any farther ceremony, fit down and give me an account of the conference. Taking a walk (fays he) this morning in St. James's Park, with feveral of my acquaintance, there was one among the reft, who was all the while either gazing upon the ladies as they came by, or fpeaking with that indifference to us, that made us very plainly fee, he did not not mind the fubject of cur difcourfe, tho' we talked of all the most confiderable things that offer themselves in fuch converfations. (A very ftrange man this, madam, who was thinking upon fome miftrefs, I warrant, when they were raifing taxes, and beating the French.) Another, who was a person of excellent fenfe, and had a particular friendship for this, tho' they would often difpute about their several thoughts of women, in which point they could never agree: (I wonder they should difpute about that, madam, for the greatest disputes in those cafes are, when they do agree) began to rally him upon this fubject; which he did fo handfomly, that he pleased the rest of the company very well, without displeasing his friend in the leaft. Philogynes (which was the name of the firft, as Myfogynes was of the other) (here, madam, I must confefs, I fancied my friend put falfe names upon me; for befides, that I remember neither of these families in England, the one, you must know, fignifies a woman-hater, and the other a woman-lover) cried to Misogynes, tho' I allow you to rally me as much as you please, and am glad of any occafion I can give you, to exercise a talent you poffefs in fo eminent degree, yet I hope you do not in carneft think the converfation of women fo ridiculous as you would make us believe. Ten times worse, faid Misogynes, than I can represent it; and fince we have often had flight fkirmishes upon that occafion, and we have now time enough to fight it out, you have the courage to lofe one morning's gazing at them, I challenge you to the private walk by the canal-fide, to defend their caufe: and thefe gentlemen, if they please shall be our judges. Tho' I am very unwilling, anfwered Philogynes, to lose a morning that has called out all the best company of the town, yet fince it is in defence of the ladies, and you fo boldly challenge me, I take you at your word, upon condition, that if I get the better in the judgment of these gentlemen, you |