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and the doctor made a few guineas' worth this period of his discourse, his lordship, of hieroglyphics, and presented it with a exercising one of those masterly strokes, “ Here, my lord;”-and “ Here, doctor.” which none but a great orator, whose
So the doctor gave his prescription, and power lies in touching the springs of our received his fee; and hurried down just as hidden nature, would venture on resorting he had hurried up,—and hurried into his to, made a sudden transition from the digcarriage just as he had hurried out,—and nified to the pathetic. Look at the mar. the carriage hurried away, to hurry some- ble houses of antiquity !'he exclaimed, where else.
look at the men of olden time! look at Lord Killikelly stretched himself out of the demi.gods! What height, what breadth, his library-chair just far enough to give what form, what size, what symmetry, the handle of the bell a sudden jerk. It was what vigour ! But even these give place answered in due course by one of those to our modern Irish. Look at the Irish stately, well.Cressed gentlemen, who bor- bricklayers ! Every man a Hercules. Men row their importance from their master's that could take up the world and carry it dignity, and so imitate the solar system. in their arms; or, without figure of speech, We mean something about the moon, and men to whom we are indebted for all the the sun and all that.
noble structures which adorn our land. This gentleman, being not less than six What would the architect be without the feet high, opened the door with great dig- Irish labourer ? Look at his arms, his nity, and bowed an inquiry to Lord Killi- hands, his limbs, his giant stature, and then, kelly, with an air of infinite condescension. noble lords and friends, look on him who Any native of any unheard-of island under addresses you! Look on me; look on the sun would have sworn that there was this attenuated form-hese shrivelled some mistake-that the grand, highly. limbs-these wasted proportions; and listdressed gentleman was the great man, en to what I owe them. I owe them to and the little slovenly, slippered, shuffling this calamitous circumstance—that my mortal, the inferior.
parents, the late Lord and Lady Killikelly, “ The papers, Stapleton; the papers !" had the utmost aversion to potatoes, and said the little fidgetty man. “ The papers! would never allow me to partake of them ; Why have I not the papers ?".
a circumstance which I must ever deeply, My lord, Mr, Wickham thought, as you most deeply, deplore. A circumstance to were indisposed"
which I owe my puny stature—these arms “ Mr. Wickham thought! Who gave without strength-these limbs without him leave to think?"
vigour--this body'-Lord Killikelly's o I don't know, my lord.”
emotions became too powerful to allow him • Or you either ?”
to proceed, and he sat down amidst thun"I did not think, my lord.”
ders of applause." 6 Fetch me the papers.”
Now when Lord Killikelly read this re6 Yes, my lord."
port of his own speech, the frenzy of all The man retired with the same dignity, Bedlam was as the blazing of a wisp of and returned with the same dignity, and straw to the burning of Moscow. He presented the papers with the same dignity. vowed he would prosecute all the papers, Nothing ever could surprise him out of that have every reporter brought to the bar of
Lord Killikelly seized the papers with the house-take away the liberty of the great avidity, and without any dignity at press-raze every printing-office in the all. Ay, ay, long reports-let me see metropolis to the ground, and send all the Brougham- Melbourne-Lord Glenelg- operatives to work in the mines. But Spencer — Palmersion — Killikelly - ah! presently a sense of the ridiculous of things here it is— Lord Killikelly made a long began to dawn upon him, and he rememand able speech,'-not so very long neither bered, too, that he was, or ought to be, a
in which he spoke at great length;'- philosopher. not at such great length, and with much So, instead of massacring and extermi. forcible argument, on the advantages to nating the whole race of typographers, be expected from encouraging the cultiva- Lord Killikelly only sat down in his libration of potatoes in this country.! " Pota- ry-chair, and suffered a little of that gall toes!" ejaculated the peer, doubting the and bitterness of heart, which they, who testimony of his eyes, and beginning to have any heart at all, are made most conread aloud, that he might obtain the evi vincingly sure of the fact by experiencing dence of both senses— His lordship spoke - they who have only a pulsation on the very forcibly on the physical improve- left side, and no heart at all, never knowment that would undoubtedly arise in this how should they ?—that the world is full country, if potatoes were universally made of ingratitude and serpents' teeth: 0! one the prevailing article of food, and his elo only knows this by having a heart, and quence became quite enthusiastic as he feeling them gnawing, gnawing into it. descanted on the muscular strength, the And the boy whom he had nurture], fed, expansion of limb, and the noble stature of loved from childhood, had derided, ridicul. our neighbours, the Irish ; lamenting, with ed, scorned him ! Yes, he was not at all a truly patriotic fervour, the inferior bone angry, but he would disinherit him. and muscle of our own countrymen. At And his public career, that he had
fondly hoped would have won him a name ed to hear that Lord Killikelly was ill. He amongst the statesman of the land, was watched the doctor's arrival and the docnow closed upon him: he was like a man tor's departure, and delayed that gentlesuddenly lamed in a race—but he would man not less that three seconds and a half discard his ungrateful country.
in his anxiety to know the worst. And thus with wealth, prosperity, and “Do you find his lordship ill-seriously health, Lord Killikelly, through, two trifling ill ?" asked Wickham. and ridiculous circumstances, was render • Yes, yes, ill-seriously ill,” said the ed miserable, both in his public and pri. doctor, trying to pass on. “ Yes, yes ; vevate life. He thought himself a philosopher; ry ill indeed : requires great care-great but philosophers, after all, are only made care.'' of like passions with ourselves.
“But I hope-I trust"
“O, indeed, indeed; but you don't know
Wickham would have been much pleas-
ed to have accelerated his motions by a
Besides the satisfaction arising from the great-great-grandfather. certainty that he was really and indeed a Having, however, a slight acquaintance very ungrateful wretch, he had likewise the with Lord Killikelly, and being aware of a comfort of knowing that he was a very ri. few of his peculiarities, he could only condiculous blockhead into the bargain. He clude that some amiable hoax, something now perfectly well remembered that Lord pleasantly jocular, was intended on the part Killikely, in a sort of simple consideration of the gentlemen of the press; and as for his servants, never kept his own carriage among those peculiarities was a very sensiin waiting at the House, when it was ex- tive tenderness on the measurement of his pected to sit late, but always contented him- stature, having once dismissed his tailor for self with a hack; secondly, he might have saying that his lordship only required a litknown, had he only had the sense to think tle coat-why, on these considerations of it, that Forbes expected too much pleas- Wickham thought it would on the whole be ure and indulgence from his dear friends, better to suppress the obnoxious papers. his dear cuisinier, his dear wine, and his dear But as his lordship happened to have a supper, to wait for him in the cold at the will of his own, Wickham's wish was defeatdoor of the House; thirdly, he remember. ed, and his lordship fully participated in the ed that that very particular bore, who had joke, to which, of course, he had the best held him by the button, had just given Lord right, as it was all at his own expense. Killikelly time to accommodate himself with The next morning Wickhan's fears for a hack; and, fourthly, that it was only like his uncle's health were entirely dispelled ; his uncle's usual kindness to wait and take Lord Killikelly was denied to his doctor-a him up. "No!” said penetration, “that circumstance which probably saved him was only to hear you praise his speech.” | from severe fit of illness. “False!” replied his heart, " what a wretch Lord Killikelly perfectly well rememberyou are!"
ed the twinkle of the eye with which the Morning came, and Wickham was shock-doctor had assured him that he had not read
his speech, and which now proved to him/gotten uncles, and aunts, and cousins, she more convincingly than words that he had. might have been as happy as any other‘ladySo Lord Killikelly was left to “chew the ship;' but because she had real kindliness cud of sweet and bitter fancy” at his lei- of heart, and also was troubled with a good sure ; for, though a philosopher, he was memory, which would not let her rest, and sensitive lo excess on the score of his un- as all the other ladyships in the aristocracy lucky speech, and lest the tongue of any happened to have good memories too, and heedless or malicious visitor should probe could on no account patronise a milliner's his wound, he resolutely shut them all out. girl, she was only coldly received, and nevAs for Wickham, he never referred to him, er quite forgiven for bringing her vulgar and Wickham, though living in the same caste so near to their nobility ; and consehouse with him, would have preferred quently the object of their scornful courtewalking over all the ploughshares that ever sy sometimes puzzled herself with a ques. were heated for the benefit of mankind, tion that might have been very easily anrather than have met one glance of his un- swered-namely, whether Lady Killikelly cle's eye. Damascus never made a blade. were really much happier than the millin. that could cut half so keenly or wound er's girl. half so deeply, as the glance of those we Howbeit it was towards this vulgar troop have injured ; and, on the other hand, Lord of his unknown relatives that the thoughts Killikelly had still less desire to see Wick- of Lord Killikelly now turned.
“ Among ham ; the reflux of his feelings seemed to them,” said the peer, “I might find some have carried with it all his former affection village Hampden,” some "gem with ray sefor his nephew, and if the tide could have rene"-psha! speechifying again! Well, turned back again into its natural channel, the whole of the matter is, I'll go amongst the satire of the newspaper report on the them, and see if there is any one I can like very subject of their division made that di- -any one I can love-any one I can make vision still wider. The first wound had in my heir, now that I have disinherited Wick. deed disappeared, but only because he, ham." poor man! had received a larger and deep Lord Killikelly, having made this resoluer in the same place.
tion, found his health wonderfully better; The boy that I have made my compa- and having settled a few preliminaries with nion and friend!” said Lord Killikelly-"ibe himself, actually pulled the bell, as the first only relation that I have in the world !” step to action; and that first step! what an
Something like a twinge in poor Lord Kil- important thing it is! likelly's heart made a little impression up The dignified Stapleton came with his on him at this moment. “My only relation, usual dignity, did I say? Yes, yes; my only accredited "My great-coat." relation on the Killikelly side ; but on my “Yes, my lord.” mother's—ah! I dare say they are some. thing like the sands on the sea-shore. The A profound bow, by way of asking “any vulgar have always a plenteous progeny. thing more?” The eagle in its flight, the lion in its lair, "Only my great-coat-nothing else.” are followed by but one solitary wing, one “Beg pardon, my lord. Did your lordlonely footprint.
ship order the carriage ?" Lord Killikelly found himself speechify “No, no—I don't want it. I shall walk.” ing again. He broke off abruptly, but he The dignified Stapleton was almost surcontinued to ponder on an idea which had prised out of his dignity. entered into his brain.
“It rains, my lord.” Be it known to the reader that Lord Kil No matter." likelly's father had, in his early days, mar. So the invalid peer went out in the heavy ried a milliner.
rain, much to the surprise of his whole It was a very ridiculous thing-nobody household; but he was full of his new procould deny that—a man of his large fortune, ject-he was interested-he was almost his high birth, his condition of life, even to happy. I will go amongst them quite as an look at a milliner's girl ; but he had looked humble individual-I will drop my title-I unwarily enough, and he saw a pair of lus- will not be at all distinguished-I shall have trous eyes, a complexion all radiant, a an opportunity of finding my real weight in mouth all smiles-all evidencing as kind a society, and these relations of mine, not heart as ever beat within a woman's bosom; knowing me, will not think it necessary to and so, notwithstanding his lordliness, he act a part." condescended to accept those trifling So Lord Killikelly went out in the rain, things which happened to please his fancy, bought himself a pair of green spectacles, merely bargaining that in return for so and
ordered the engraving of a new card. great a favour the little milliner should for “ Pray, sir, what name shall I engrave ?" sake all her kith and kin of every degree, asked the president of the counter. forgetting that she had ever known such of Charles Kelly.” people as uncles, and aunts, and cousins, • Mr. Charles Kelly, sir ?" and all that sort of things; and she prom “No, sir." ising more than everything, he made her “Charles Kelly, Esq. sir ?" Lady Killikelly; and if she could have for “No, sir, simply Charles Kelly."
Lord Killikelly might equivocate, but he " It shall be done,” replied the card-enhad a great horror of a direct falsehood. graver, with the air of a man who promises Charles was his own baptismal name-Kel the next thing to an impossibility. ly the half of his title, therefore his own, but he could lay no claim to the prefixing of
(To be continued.) 6. Mr.” or the affixing of “ Esq."
SONNETS TO A FRIEND.
BY MAJOR CALDER CAMPBELL.
NAY, cherish not despondency, my friend,
MEMS IN THE MEDITERRANEAN. * friends. The big fellow actually blubber
ed when he left us. BY LAUNCELOT LAMPREY.
Our trunks being packed, our provisions
stowed Chi va lontan dalla sua patria vede,
away, and all ready, we walked Cose da quel che gia credea, lontane.
down to the quay to see why the sailors did
not, according to the terms of our engage. No. XII.
ment with Pietro, come to take the luggage on board.
We found Pietro quietly sitting The Polizia della Marina-Departure from Mes on the top of the little wooden canopy, sina-Charybdis—Stromboli— Waterspouts—Visit smoking his pipe, and contemplating the to Pæstum-Return to Naples.
proceedings of one of the sailors, who was On the day appointed for our departure lazily stowing away some merchandise from Messina, we gave Domenico his congé, below. He started into all
his usual activity paying him so much per day for the time he upon seeing us, and, in reply to the inquiry had been in our service, and four days re- why he had not sent for our trunks, went on turn to Palermo. The addition of a hand with incredible rapidity to rehearse certain some buona mano nade us part the best of grievances to which he had been subjected,
the sum-total of all which, however, when we * Continued from vol. VII. p. 380. could fairly collect it, proved to be, that he
did not intend to start that day, as he had such would be the natural result of the not got his papers from the custom-house, ultra-indignant style of reproof wbich he
The doctor immediately declared his in- had adopted. tention of proceeding to the Polizia della Pietro then having promised with many Marina and procuring the adjudication of most solemn asseverations that ll Delfino the magistralo there, as to a certain couple of should be ready to depart on the following golden Venetian zecchini, which we had morning Danks was appeased, and we once prudently exacted as hostages for the punc-more adjourned to our hotel. Pietro accomtual departure of Il Delfino. Pietro leaped panied us, pouring out his thanks in blessings from his vessel and walked before the doc. that sounded as like curses as blessings, tor along the quay, prayed, entreated, wepl, even in Sicilian, could well do, and gesti. clasped his hands, tore his hair, and finally, culating with an energy that threatened to wrought up to a climax, smashed his pipe wring his arms out of the sockets. to atoms on the pavement. The doctor, The next morning our luggage was stowed however, was inexorable, and having some on board, including the commissariat departcuriosity to see how they managed things ment, the superintendence of which had in a Messenian Bow-street, we proceeded to been entrusted to Igins. This consisted of a little wooden building on the quay, which two large earthen pots of pesce spada, iwo we had visited in the course of arranging roast legs of mutton, a bag of biscuit, a pan our passports the day before, an were ush-of butter, half a dozen loaves, and a huge ered in the presence of a large gaunt man basket of Marsala. dressed in rusty black, with a huge sallow Nothing could be more splendid than the face, on whose brow sat all the Olympian morning, as we pushed out from the hardignity of a constable.
bour of Messina, and hoisted our long latine Signor," said the doctor ; but further sail to catch the light breeze that came sighprogress in vain the doctor tried to make. ing from the southward. Our crew, as has Pietro could utter at least twenty words for been said, consisted of four besides the cap. his one, and dashed on through his justifica- tain. One of these, the individual who tion like a winner at the Derby." In vain acted as mate, looked like a faded miniature the doctor tried to stay the torrent. His of the captain, being his younger brother, oration was nipped at the first syllable, and and still smaller as well as still more yellow. at last, after looking several times with in- As I stepped on board, the rays of the easttense malignity at the voluble opponent ern sun glancing in the water caught my beside him, he fairly caught the little fellow's eye, and I executed the operation called head under his arm, and clapping a huge sneezing, common, I believe, only to men fist upon his mouth, held him therè, like a and dogs, and which, since the days of Arismouse struggling in a mousetrap, until he totle, and long before, has always called had in a few words explained the reason of down the blessings of the bystanders upon his presence.
the performer. Mercy on us! The torrent of vitupera - Salute !" said the little mate, adding, tion that poured from the mouth of the sotto voce, with a look, intended to be very Sicilian dignitary on the head of the de- waggish, and with that long rest on the voted Pietro. “ Bestia ! Assassino! Cuccio broad final e which is peculiar to the SiciliCalabrese !" were among the most select ans, a me-a." and genteel of the epithets ; but their num. This was the little man's only joke, he ber, and variety, and the velocity with which lived but to perpetrate it, to look out for a they were uttered, surpassed all the powers sneeze, and appropriate to himself the blessof abuse I had ever had an opportunity of ing, which he seemed to bestow on others. measuring. The intensity of his indigna- This was his hobby, his appropriation tion was appalling, and Pietro, after a few clause, his breath of life. No man can live attempts to get in a word edgeways in the without an object, and this was the object of very interstices, was reduced to silence, Giuseppe Girolamo. clasping his hands, and looking the very He laughed, laughed with a glee of which picture of despair in the face of the man his thin parchment face did not seem to be in authority, an occasional deprecating Ma ! capable, at the only joke that, as we found ma! being all the endeavours to be heard afterwards, he ever thought worth the rewhich the overwhelming torrent permitted. peating. I laughed, for I have a predispoSo vehemently indeed did the gentleman tition to the infection of laughing. The take up the doctor's cause, that the client sailors laughed because the forestieri did so, himself became somewhat ashamed of his and proceeded to hoist our sail. advocate's intemperance, which exceeded “ Yeo, Sant Antonio.” A pull. cven the usual license of a police magis • Yeo, Santa Clara.” A pull. trate, and after listening for some minutes “ Yeo, Sant Elmo." A pull. to the outbreak which he had provoked, but “Yeo, San Nicola.” Another pull. which he little expected, he began actually “ Then, da capo, back again to Sant Anto intercede for poor annihilated Pietro, and tonio ;" and thus this pious “ Yeo heave-oh" to intimate his willingness to accept an unproceeded until the yard was chock home dertaking to be ready on the morrow. The to the block at the top of the short mast, and official was calmed at once, it was like oil on we slowly moved over the barely rippled the waters ; and so abruptly did he soften water towards the Point of Faro. down, that it seemed as if he had expected As we stretched across, the varying