and the doctor made a few guineas' worth | this period of his discourse, his lordship, of hieroglyphics, and presented it with a"Here, my lord;"-and" Here, doctor." So the doctor gave his prescription, and received his fee; and hurried down just as he had hurried up,—and hurried into his carriage just as he had hurried out, and the carriage hurried away, to hurry somewhere else.

Lord Killikelly stretched himself out of his library-chair just far enough to give the handle of the bell a sudden jerk. It was answered in due course by one of those stately, well dressed gentlemen, who borrow their importance from their master's dignity, and so imitate the solar system. We mean something about the moon, and the sun and all that.

exercising one of those masterly strokes, which none but a great orator, whose power lies in touching the springs of our hidden nature, would venture on resorting to, made a sudden transition from the dignified to the pathetic. Look at the marble houses of antiquity!' he exclaimed, 'look at the men of olden time! look at the demi-gods! What height, what breadth, what form, what size, what symmetry, what vigour ! But even these give place to our modern Irish. Look at the Irish bricklayers! Every man a Hercules. Men that could take up the world and carry it in their arms; or, without figure of speech, men to whom we are indebted for all the noble structures which adorn our land. This gentleman, being not less than six What would the architect be without the feet high, opened the door with great dig- Irish labourer ? Look at his arms, his nity, and bowed an inquiry to Lord Killi- hands, his limbs, his giant stature, and then, kelly, with an air of infinite condescension. noble lords and friends, look on him who Any native of any unheard-of island under addresses you! Look on me; look on the sun would have sworn that there was this attenuated form-these shrivelled some mistake-that the grand, highly-limbs-these wasted proportions; and listdressed gentleman was the great man, en to what I owe them. I owe them to and the little slovenly, slippered, shuffling this calamitous circumstance that my mortal, the inferior.

"The papers, Stapleton; the papers!" said the little fidgetty man. "The papers! Why have I not the papers?"

My lord, Mr. Wickham thought, as you were indisposed--"

"Mr. Wickham thought!

him leave to think?"

"I don't know, my lord."

"Or you either?"

"I did not think, my lord."
"Fetch me the papers."
"Yes, my lord."

Spencer

Who gave

parents, the late Lord and Lady Killikelly, had the utmost aversion to potatoes, and would never allow me to partake of them; a circumstance which I must ever deeply, most deeply, deplore. A circumstance to which I owe my puny stature—these arms without strength-these limbs without vigour this body'-Lord Killikelly's emotions became too powerful to allow him to proceed, and he sat down amidst thunders of applause."

presently a sense of the ridiculous of things began to dawn upon him, and he remembered, too, that he was, or ought to be, a philosopher.

Now when Lord Killikelly read this report of his own speech, the frenzy of all The man retired with the same dignity, Bedlam was as the blazing of a wisp of and returned with the same dignity, and straw to the burning of Moscow. He presented the papers with the same dignity. vowed he would prosecute all the papers, Nothing ever could surprise him out of that. have every reporter brought to the bar of Lord Killikelly seized the papers with the house-take away the liberty of the great avidity, and without any dignity at press-raze every printing-office in the all. Ay, ay, long reports-let me see-metropolis to the ground, and send all the Brougham-Melbourne-Lord Glenelg operatives to work in the mines. But Palmerston Killikelly-ah! here it is Lord Killikelly made a long and able speech,'-not so very long neither in which he spoke at great length;'not at such great length-and with much So, instead of massacring and extermiforcible argument, on the advantages to nating the whole race of typographers, be expected from encouraging the cultiva- Lord Killikelly only sat down in his libration of potatoes in this country.' "Pota-ry-chair, and suffered a little of that gall toes!" ejaculated the peer, doubting the testimony of his eyes, and beginning to read aloud, that he might obtain the evi dence of both senses- His lordship spoke very forcibly on the physical improvement that would undoubtedly arise in this country, if potatoes were universally made the prevailing article of food, and his eloquence became quite enthusiastic as he descanted on the muscular strength, the expansion of limb, and the noble stature of our neighbours, the Irish; lamenting, with a truly patriotic fervour, the inferior bone and muscle of our own countrymen. At

and bitterness of heart, which they, who have any heart at all, are made most convincingly sure of the fact by experiencing

they who have only a pulsation on the left side, and no heart at all, never knowhow should they?-that the world is full of ingratitude and serpents' teeth: O! one only knows this by having a heart, and feeling them gnawing, gnawing into it.

And the boy whom he had nurtured, fed, loved from childhood, had derided, ridiculed, scorned him! Yes, he was not at all angry, but he would disinherit him.

And his public career, that he had

fondly hoped would have won him a name ed to hear that Lord Killikelly was ill. He amongst the statesman of the land, was watched the doctor's arrival and the docnow closed upon him: he was like a man tor's departure, and delayed that gentlesuddenly lamed in a race-but he would man not less that three seconds and a half discard his ungrateful country. in his anxiety to know the worst. "Do you find his lordship ill-seriously ill?" asked Wickham.

And thus with wealth, prosperity, and health, Lord Killikelly, through, two trifling and ridiculous circumstances, was rendered miserable, both in his public and private life. He thought himself a philosopher; but philosophers, after all, are only made of like passions with ourselves.

CHAPTER III.

"Yes, yes, ill-seriously ill," said the doctor, trying to pass on. "Yes, yes; very ill indeed: requires great care great care."

"But I hope I trust"

"O, indeed, indeed; but you don't know the value of my time-you don't indeed." Wickham would have been much pleased to have accelerated his motions by a It may be presumed that Mr. Walter little additional impetus. The doctor would Wickham did not find his bed very well probably not have remembered the invalumade on the night on which we have enter- able value of his time, had he not recoled on our memoirs-a fact of which he lected also that he was probably speaking to was so convincingly assured that he never a disinherited gentleman. But a moment's even tried it. It is not exactly the fashion consideration dispelled the worst of Wickfor the moderns to tear their hair, and rend ham's fears; his commonest sense told him their clothes, and dash their heads against that medical men always magnify little the wall; these being ancient customs, things, and diminish great ones-allow which have now grown obsolete, nobody, danger where it is not, and deny it where now-a-days, liking to hurt themselves; and it is. So, for decency's sake, and for fear even Wickham, in his present paroxysm, of what Mrs. Grundy might say, he sat did not feel inclined to revive an old bar- down to breakfast, though with no very parbarism for his own particular advantage, ticular appetite; and by way of penance neither did he think of all the various kinda sackcloth shirt, peas in one's shoes, or of vehicles which might carry him out of any little comfortable accommodation of the world in good style, or of the diversified that kind-set himself to read his uncle's modes which he had taken into considera- speech. tion in his consultation with Forbes. The matter was now too serious. He did, however, call himself all the particular fools and ungrateful idiots in the world; and not any of the alleviations of self-love, or self-justification, arising in his heart, or his mind, to convince him that he did not deserve to be thus branded, he was fain to bear the weight of the appropriation.

Now Wickham, from his own particular knowledge of the subject, could not have been upon oath whether the newspaper version were or were not the true one; certainly his body had been present during those eternal five hours and a half, and he had been sensible of a long monotony of wire; but as to what Lord Killikelly had said, he knew no more than Methuselah's greatgreat-great-grandfather.

Having, however, a slight acquaintance with Lord Killikelly, and being aware of a few of his peculiarities, he could only conclude that some amiable hoax, something pleasantly jocular, was intended on the part of the gentlemen of the press; and as among those peculiarities was a very sensitive tenderness on the measurement of his stature, having once dismissed his tailor for saying that his lordship only required a little coat-why, on these considerations Wickham thought it would on the whole be better to suppress the obnoxious papers.

Besides the satisfaction arising from the certainty that he was really and indeed a very ungrateful wretch, he had likewise the comfort of knowing that he was a very ridiculous blockhead into the bargain. He now perfectly well remembered that Lord Killikely, in a sort of simple consideration for his servants, never kept his own carriage in waiting at the House, when it was expected to sit late, but always contented himself with a hack; secondly, he might have known, had he only had the sense to think of it, that Forbes expected too much pleasure and indulgence from his dear friends, his dear cuisinier, his dear wine, and his dear supper, to wait for him in the cold at the door of the House; thirdly, he remember. ed that that very particular bore, who had held him by the button, had just given Lord Killikelly time to accommodate himself with a hack; and, fourthly, that it was only like his uncle's usual kindness to wait and take him up. "No!" said penetration, "that was only to hear you praise his speech." "False" replied his heart, "what a wretch Lord Killikelly perfectly well rememberyou are!" ed the twinkle of the eye with which the Morning came, and Wickham was shock-doctor had assured him that he had not read

But as his lordship happened to have a will of his own, Wickham's wish was defeated, and his lordship fully participated in the joke, to which, of course, he had the best right, as it was all at his own expense.

The next morning Wickham's fears for his uncle's health were entirely dispelled; Lord Killikelly was denied to his doctor-a circumstance which probably saved him from a severe fit of illness.

his speech, and which now proved to him gotten uncles, and aunts, and cousins, she more convincingly than words that he had. might have been as happy as any other ladySo Lord Killikelly was left to "chew the ship;' but because she had real kindliness cud of sweet and bitter fancy" at his lei- of heart, and also was troubled with a good sure; for, though a philosopher, he was memory, which would not let her rest, and sensitive to excess on the score of his un- as all the other ladyships in the aristocracy lucky speech, and lest the tongue of any happened to have good memories too, and heedless or malicious visitor should probe could on no account patronise a milliner's his wound, he resolutely shut them all out. girl, she was only coldly received, and nevAs for Wickham, he never referred to him, er quite forgiven for bringing her vulgar and Wickham, though living in the same caste so near to their nobility; and consehouse with him, would have preferred quently the object of their scornful courtewalking over all the ploughshares that ever sy sometimes puzzled herself with a queswere heated for the benefit of mankind, tion that might have been very easily anrather than have met one glance of his un-swered-namely, whether Lady Killikelly cle's eye. Damascus never made a blade were really much happier than the millinthat could cut half so keenly or wounder's girl. half so deeply, as the glance of those we have injured; and, on the other hand, Lord Killikelly had still less desire to see Wickham; the reflux of his feelings seemed to have carried with it all his former affection for his nephew, and if the tide could have turned back again into its natural channel, the satire of the newspaper report on the very subject of their division made that division still wider. The first wound had indeed disappeared, but only because he, poor man! had received a larger and deeper in the same place.

"The boy that I have made my companion and friend!" said Lord Killikelly-"the only relation that I have in the world!"

Something like a twinge in poor Lord Killikelly's heart made a little impression upon him at this moment. "My only relation, did I say? Yes, yes; my only accredited relation on the Killikelly side; but on my mother's-ah! I dare say they are something like the sands on the sea-shore. The vulgar have always a plenteous progeny. The eagle in its flight, the lion in its lair, are followed by but one solitary wing, one lonely footprint."

Lord Killikelly found himself speechifying again. He broke off abruptly, but he continued to ponder on an idea which had entered into his brain.

Be it known to the reader that Lord Killikelly's father had, in his early days, married a milliner.

It was a very ridiculous thing-nobody could deny that—a man of his large fortune, his high birth, his condition of life, even to look at a milliner's girl; but he had looked unwarily enough, and he saw a pair of lustrous eyes, a complexion all radiant, a mouth all smiles,—all evidencing as kind a heart as ever beat within a woman's bosom; and so, notwithstanding his lordliness, he condescended to accept those trifling things which happened to please his fancy, merely bargaining that in return for so great a favour the little milliner should forsake all her kith and kin of every degree, forgetting that she had ever known such people as uncles, and aunts, and cousins, and all that sort of things; and she promising more than everything, he made her Lady Killikelly; and if she could have for

66

Howbeit it was towards this vulgar troop of his unknown relatives that the thoughts of Lord Killikelly now turned. Among them," said the peer, "I might find some village Hampden," some (6 gem with ray serene"-psha! specchifying again! Well, the whole of the matter is, I'll go amongst them, and see if there is any one I can like -any one I can love-any one I can make my heir, now that I have disinherited Wickham."

Lord Killikelly, having made this resolution, found his health wonderfully better; and having settled a few preliminaries with himself, actually pulled the bell, as the first step to action; and that first step! what an important thing it is!

The dignified Stapleton came with his usual dignity,

"My great-coat."
"Yes, my lord."

So the invalid peer went out in the heavy rain, much to the surprise of his whole household; but he was full of his new project-he was interested-he was almost happy. I will go amongst them quite as an humble individual-I will drop my title-I will not be at all distinguished-I shall have an opportunity of finding my real weight in society, and these relations of mine, not knowing me, will not think it necessary to act a part."

So Lord Killikelly went out in the rain, bought himself a pair of green spectacles, and ordered the engraving of a new card.

"Pray, sir, what name shall I engrave ?"
asked the president of the counter.
"Charles Kelly."

"Mr. Charles Kelly, sir?"
"No, sir."

"Charles Kelly, Esq. sir ?"
"No, sir, simply Charles Kelly."

Yet, friend, I blame thee not,-for well thou know'st
The heart of him who writes is frail and weak;

But I would bid thee fairer pastures seek

Than such as he hath trod. Frankly thou show'st
The honest mind to me,-frankly thy cheek,

Thy brow, thine eye, display the thoughts within ;
And I to thee, too, own each secret sin,

And erring wish, and chain, I fain would break,
That tell me I am faulty. Let us win

A good report, each for the other; let

Our future life, our faithful love, display

That each true heart in one high cause hath met,

To conquer ILL 'neath bright RELIGION'S Sway,
That sheds a gentle peace which passeth not away!

MEMS IN THE MEDITERRANEAN. *| friends.

BY LAUNCELOT LAMPREY.

Chi va lontan dalla sua patria vede,
Cose da quel che gia credea, lontane.

The big fellow actually blubbered when he left us.

Our trunks being packed, our provisions stowed away, and all ready, we walked down to the quay to see why the sailors did not, according to the terms of our engagement with Pietro, come to take the luggage on board. The Polizia della Marina-Departure from Mes- on the top of the little wooden canopy, We found Pietro quietly sitting sina-Charybdis-Stromboli-Waterspouts-Visit smoking his pipe, and contemplating the

No. XII.

to Pæstum-Return to Naples.

On the day appointed for our departure from Messina, we gave Domenico his congé, paying him so much per day for the time he had been in our service, and four days return to Palermo. The addition of a handsome buona mano made us part the best of

* Continued from vol. VII. p. 380.

proceedings of one of the sailors, who was lazily stowing away some merchandise below. He started into all his usual activity upon seeing us, and, in reply to the inquiry why he had not sent for our trunks, went on with incredible rapidity to rehearse certain grievances to which he had been subjected, the sum-total of all which, however, when we could fairly collect it, proved to be, that he

did not intend to start that day, as he had not got his papers from the custom-house.

The doctor immediately declared his intention of proceeding to the Polizia della Marina and procuring the adjudication of the magistrato there, as to a certain couple of golden Venetian zecchini, which we had prudently exacted as hostages for the punctual departure of Il Delfino. Pietro leaped from his vessel and walked before the doctor along the quay, prayed, entreated, wept, clasped his hands, tore his hair, and finally, wrought up to a climax, smashed his pipe to atoms on the pavement. The doctor, however, was inexorable, and having some curiosity to see how they managed things in a Messenian Bow-street, we proceeded to a little wooden building on the quay, which we had visited in the course of arranging our passports the day before, and were ushered in the presence of a large gaunt man dressed in rusty black, with a huge sallow face, on whose brow sat all the Olympian dignity of a constable.

66

Signor," said the doctor; but further progress in vain the doctor tried to make. Pietro could utter at least twenty words for his one, and dashed on through his justification like a winner at the Derby. In vain the doctor tried to stay the torrent. His oration was nipped at the first syllable, and at last, after looking several times with intense malignity at the voluble opponent beside him, he fairly caught the little fellow's head under his arm, and clapping a huge fist upon his mouth, held him there, like a mouse struggling in a mousetrap, until he had in a few words explained the reason of his presence.

such would be the natural result of the ultra-indignant style of reproof which he had adopted.

Pietro then having promised with many most solemn asseverations that I Delfino should be ready to depart on the following morning Danks was appeased, and we once more adjourned to our hotel. Pietro accompanied us, pouring out his thanks in blessings that sounded as like curses as blessings, even in Sicilian, could well do, and gesticulating with an energy that threatened to wring his arms out of the sockets.

The next morning our luggage was stowed on board, including the commissariat department, the superintendence of which had been entrusted to Igins. This consisted of two large earthen pots of pesce spada, two roast legs of mutton, a bag of biscuit, a pan of butter, half a dozen loaves, and a huge basket of Marsala.

Nothing could be more splendid than the morning, as we pushed out from the harbour of Messina, and hoisted our long latine sail to catch the light breeze that came sighing from the southward. Our crew, as has been said, consisted of four besides the captain. One of these, the individual who acted as mate, looked like a faded miniature of the captain, being his younger brother, and still smaller as well as still more yellow. As I stepped on board, the rays of the eastern sun glancing in the water caught my eye, and I executed the operation called sneezing, common, I believe, only to men and dogs, and which, since the days of Aristotle, and long before, has always called down the blessings of the bystanders upon the performer.

"Salute!" said the little mate, adding, sotto voce, with a look, intended to be very waggish, and with that long rest on the broad final e which is peculiar to the Sicilians, "a me-a."

This was the little man's only joke, he lived but to perpetrate it, to look out for a sneeze, and appropriate to himself the blessing which he seemed to bestow on others. This was his hobby, his appropriation clause, his breath of life. No man can live without an object, and this was the object of Giuseppe Girolamo.

Mercy on us! The torrent of vituperation that poured from the mouth of the Sicilian dignitary on the head of the devoted Pietro. "Bestia! Assassino! Cuccio Calabrese!" were among the most select and genteel of the epithets; but their number, and variety, and the velocity with which they were uttered, surpassed all the powers of abuse I had ever had an opportunity of measuring. The intensity of his indignation was appalling, and Pietro, after a few attempts to get in a word edgeways in the very interstices, was reduced to silence, clasping his hands, and looking the very He laughed, laughed with a glee of which picture of despair in the face of the man his thin parchment face did not seem to be in authority, an occasional deprecating Ma! capable, at the only joke that, as we found ma! being all the endeavours to be heard afterwards, he ever thought worth the rewhich the overwhelming torrent permitted. So vehemently indeed did the gentleman take up the doctor's cause, that the client himself became somewhat ashamed of his advocate's intemperance, which exceeded "Yeo, Sant Antonio." A pull. even the usual license of a police magis- "Yeo, Santa Clara." A pull. trate, and after listening for some minutes "Yeo, Sant Elmo." A pull. to the outbreak which he had provoked, but "Yeo, San Nicola." Another pull. which he little expected, he began actually "Then, da capo, back again to Sant Anto intercede for poor annihilated Pietro, and tonio ;" and thus this pious" Yeo heave-oh" to intimate his willingness to accept an un-proceeded until the yard was chock home dertaking to be ready on the morrow. The to the block at the top of the short mast, and official was calmed at once, it was like oil on we slowly moved over the barely rippled the waters; and so abruptly did he soften water towards the Point of Faro. down, that it seemed as if he had expected As we stretched across, the varying

peating. I laughed, for I have a predispotition to the infection of laughing. The sailors laughed because the forestieri did so, and proceeded to hoist our sail.