of those generous virtues by which it ought to be obtained. But that our military glory is arrived at his prefent height, and that men of all ranks fo paffionately affect their share in it, is certainly owing to the merit and conduct of our glorious general: for as the great fecret in chemistry, though not in nature, has occafioned many ufeful difcoveries; and the fantastic notion of being wholly difinterested in friendship has made men do a thoufand generous actions above themfelves; fo, though the prefent grandeur and fame of the duke of Marlborough is a ftation of glory to which no one hopes to arrive, yet all carry their actions to an higher pitch, by having that great example laid before them. NO. 47. THURSDAY, JULY 28, 1709. Quicquid agunt homines-noftri farrago libelli. Juv. Sat. i. v. 84, 85. Whatever good is done, whatever ill. By human kind, fhall this collection fill. White's Chocolate-house, July 27. My friend fir Thomas has communicated to me his letters from Epfom of the twenty-fifth inftant, which give, in general, a very good account of the prefent pofture of affairs in that place; but that the tranquillity and correfpondence of the company begins to be interrupted by the arrival of fir Taffety Trippet, a fortunehunter, whofe follies are too grofs to give diverfion; and whofe vanity is too ftupid to let him be fenfible that he is a public offence. If people will indulge a fplenetic humour, it is impoffible to be at eafe, when fuch creatures as are the scandal of our species fet up for gallantry and adventures. It will be much more eafy therefore to laugh fir Taffety into reafon, than convert him from his his foppery by any ferious contempt. I knew a gentleman that made it a maxim to open his doors, and ever run into the way of bullies, to avoid their infolence. This rule will hold as well with coxcombs: they are never mortified, but when they fee you receive and despise them: otherwise they rest affured, that it is your ignorance makes them out of your good graces; or, that it is only want of admittance prevents their being amiable where they are fhunned and avoided. But fir Taffety is a fop of fo fanguine a complexion, that I fear it will be very hard for the fair-one he at prefent pursues to get rid of the chace, without being fo tired, as, for her own ease, to fall into the mouth of the mongrel fhe runs from. But the hiftory of fir Taffety is as pleasant as his character. It happened, that when he first fet up for a fortunehunter, he chofe Tunbridge for the fcene of action, where were at that time two fifters upon the fame defign. The kinght believed of courfe the elder must be the better prize; and confequently makes all his fail that way. People that want fenfe do always in an egregious manner want modefty, which made our hero triumph in making his amour as public as was poffible. The adored lady was no less vain of his public addreffes. An attorney with one caufe is not half so reftlefs as a woman with one lover. Wherever they met, they talked to each other aloud, chofe each other partner at balls, faluted at the most confpicuous parts of the fervice of the church, and practifed, in honour of each other,, all the remarkable particularities which are usual for perfons who admire one another, and are contemptible to the reft of the world Thefe two lovers seemed as much made for each other as Adam and Eve, and all pronounced it a match of nature's own making; but the night before the nuptials, fo univerfally approved, the younger fifter, envious of the good fortune even of her fifter, who had been prefent at most of their interviews, and had an equal tafte for the charms of a fop, as there are a fet of women made for that order of men ; the younger, I fay, unable to fee fo rich a prize pafs by her, difcovered to fir Taffety, that a coquet air, much tongue, and three fuits, was all the portion of his mistress. His His love vanished that moment, himself and equipage the next morning. It is uncertain where the lover has been ever fince engaged; but certain it is, he has not appeared in his character as a follower of love and fortune until he arrived at Epfom, where there is at prefent a young lady of youth, beauty, and fortune, who has alarmed all the vain and the impertinent to infeft that quarter. At the head of this affembly, fir Taffety fhines in the brightest manner, with all the accomplishments which ufually enfnare the heart of a woman; with this particular merit, which often is of great fervice, that he is laughed at for her fake. The friends of the fair-one are in much pain for the fufferings fhe goes through from the perfeverance of this hero; but they may be much more fo from the danger of his fucceeding, toward which they gave a helping-hand, if they diffuade her with bitternefs; for there is a fantastical generofity in the fex to approve creatures of the leaft merit imaginable, when they fee the imperfections of their admirers are become marks of derifion for their fakes; and there is nothing fo frequent, as that he, who was contemptible to a woman in her own judgment, has won her by being too violently opposed by others. Grecian Coffee-house, July 27. In the feveral capacities I bear, of aftrologer, civilian, and phyfician, I have with great application ftudied the public emolument: to this end ferve all my lucubrations, fpeculations, and whatever other labours I undertake, whether nocturnal or diurnal. On this motive am I induced to publifh a never-failing medicine for the fspleen : my experience in this diftemper came from a very remarkable cure on my ever worthy friend Tom Spindle, who through exceffive gaiety had exhausted that natural stock of wir and fpirits he had long been bleffed with: he was funk and flattened to the loweft degree imaginable, fitting whole hours over the Book of Martyrs and Pilgrim's Progrefs; his other contemplations never rifing higher than the colour of his urine, or the regularity of his pulfe, pulfe. In this condition I found him, accompanied by the learned Dr. Drachm, and a good old nurfe. Drachm had prefcribed magazines of herbs, and mines of fteel. I foon difcovered the malady, and defcanted on the nature of it, until I convinced both the patient and his nurfe, that the spleen is not to be cured by medicine, but by poetry. Apollo, the author of phyfic, fhone with diffufive rays, the beft of poets as well as of phyficians; and it is in this double capacity that I have made my way; and have found sweet, eafy, flowing numbers, are oft fuperior to our nobleft medicines. When the fpirits are low, and nature funk, the mufe, with fprightly and harmonious notes, gives an unexpected turn with a grain of poetry; which I prepare without the ufe of mercury. I have done wonders in this kind; for the fpleen is like the tarantula, the effects of whofe malignant poifon are to be prevented by no other remedy but the charms of mufic: for you are to understand, that as fomne noxious animals carry antidotes. for their own poifons; fo there is fomething equally unaccountable in poetry: for though it is fometimes a difease, it is to be cured only by itfelf. Now I, knowing Tom Spindle's conftitution, and that he is not only a pretty gentleman, but also a pretty poet, found the true cause of his diftemper was a violent grief, that moved his affections too strongly: for during the late treaty of peace, he had writ a molt excellent poem on that fubject; and when he wanted but two lines in the last stanza for finishing the whole piece, there comes news that the French tyrant would not fign. Spindle in a few days took his bed, and had lain there ftill, had not I been fent for. I immediately told him, there was great probability the French would now fue to us for peace. I faw immediately a new life in his eyes; and I knew that nothing could help him forward fo well, as hearing verfes which he would believe worse than his own: I read him therefore the Bruffels poftfcript. After which I recited some -heroic lines of my own, which operated fo ftrongly on the tympanum of his ear, that I doubt not but I have kept out all other founds for a fortnight; and have reason to hope, we shall see him abroad the day before his poem. This, This, you fee, is a particular fecret I have found out, viz. That you are not to choose your phyfician for his knowledge in your diftemper, but for having it himself. Therefore I am at hand for all maladies arifing from poetical vapours, beyond which I never pretend. For being -called the other day to one in love, I took indeed their three guineas, and gave them my advice, which was to fend for Æfculapius. fculapius, as foon as he faw the patient, cries out, It is love! it is love! Oh! the unequal pulfe! these are the fymptoms a lover feels; such fighs, fuch pangs, attend the uneafy mind; nor can our art, or all our boasted skill, avail —Yet, O fair! for thee-Thus the fage ran on, and owned the paffion which he pitied, as well as that he felt a greater pain than ever he cured after which he concluded, All I can advife is marriage charins and beauty will give new life and vigour, and turn the courfe of nature to its better profpect. This is the new way: and thus Æfculapius has left his beloved powders, and writes a recipe for a wife at fixty.. In short, my friend followed the prescription, and married youth and beauty in its perfect bloom. Supine in Sylvia's fnowy arms he lies, Each happy hour is fill'd with fresh delight, From my own Apartment, July 27. It is TRAGICAL paffion was the fubject of the difcourfe where I laft vifited this evening and a gentleman who knows that I am at present writing a very deep tragedy, directed his difcourfe in a particular manner to me. the common fault, faid he, of you gentleman who write in the bufkin ftyle, that you give us rather the fentiments of fuch who behold tragical events, than of fuch who bear a part in them themselves. I would advise all who pretend this way, to read Shakespear with care; and they will foon be deterred from putting forth what is usually called tragedy. The way of common writers in this kind |