As love without efteem is volatile and capricious; esteem without love is languid and cold. I am afraid that many men, whofe wives have poffeffed their efteem, have yet lavished their fortune and their fondnefs upon a mistress: and that the love of others, however ardent, has been quickly alienated, because it was not dignified and supported by esteem.

Though good-nature does indeed participate the pains and pleasures of others, and may, therefore, be confidered as a conftant and forcible motive to communicate happiness and alleviate misery; yet it is at best but the imperfect excellence of imperfect beings, whose immediate gratifications are often selfish, and fuch as folly or vice render incompatible with the true happinefs of the individual, and of each other.

As there is not perhaps upon earth, any couple, whofe natural difpofitions and relish of life are so perfectly fimilar, as that their wills conftantly coincide; fo it must fometimes happen that the immediate pleasure of indulging oppofite inclinations, will be greater than a participation of that pleasure, which would arise to the other if this indulgence fhould be forborne: but as to forbear this indulgence can never fail to conciliate esteem, it should always be confidered as a means of happiness, and rather as an advantage than a lofs: efpecially if it be true, that the indulgence itself, in these circumstances, never gives the pleasure that it promifes.

Lady Charlotte Sprightly, the wife of a young Baronet, was dreffing for an affembly a few nights ago, when Sir Harry came in. "My dear Charlotte," fays he, "I am forry that you are going out to-night; for "my coufin George is juft arrived from the Eaft-Indies: I have invited him to fup; and as he has never

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as married; and as I am very far from thinking that they may now fit down in negligent fecurity, and remit at once their affiduity and circumfpection, I fhall warn them of fome opinions of which this conduct is the confequence, detect fome errors by which the general intention of good-nature may be difappointed, and endeavour to put them upon their guard against some propenfities by which it may be overborne,

It is now neceffary to remind them, that the paffion which is fuppofed to animate the lover, the passion which is represented by flames and darts, which fwells the bofom with perpetual rapture, and neither changes its object nor lofes its ardour, exifts only in poetry and The real paffion which wit and folly have thus concurred to difguife, is fubject to difguft and fatiety, is excited by novelty, and frequently extinguished by poffeffion.

romance.

It is alfo equally true, that a refined and abstracted friendship between perfons of different fexes, a union of fouls to which the corporal paffion is merely accidental, is only to be found in the writings of those enthufiafts, who have addreffed the world from a cave or a college, and perhaps denied the force of defires which they could not fubdue; or in the profeffions of infidious hypocrites, who have endeavoured thus to gain a confidence, which they intend only to abufe. But there is an esteem which is meliorated by love, and a love that is elevated by esteem; a kind of mixed affection, peculiar to mankind as beings compounded of inftinct and reason, or, in other words, of body and mind. This is that fpecies of affection, upon which the fupreme or peculiar happiness of marriage depends, and which can scarce be preserved without a conftant attention and perpetual efforts.

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As love without efteem is volatile and capricious; esteem without love is languid and cold. I am afraid that many men, whofe wives have poffeffed their efteem, have yet lavished their fortune and their fondness upon a mistress: and that the love of others, however ardent, has been quickly alienated, because it was not dignified and fupported by efteem.

Though good-nature does indeed participate the pains and pleasures of others, and may, therefore, be confidered as a conftant and forcible motive to communicate happiness and alleviate mifery; yet it is at best but the imperfect excellence of imperfect beings, whose immediate gratifications are often felfish, and fuch as folly or vice render incompatible with the true happiness of the individual, and of each other.

As there is not perhaps upon earth, any couple, whofe natural difpofitions and relish of life are so perfectly fimilar, as that their wills conftantly coincide; fo it must sometimes happen that the immediate pleasure of indulging oppofite inclinations, will be greater than a participation of that pleasure, which would arife to the other if this indulgence should be forborne: but as to forbear this indulgence can never fail to conciliate esteem, it should always be confidered as a means of happiness, and rather as an advantage than a lofs: efpecially if it be true, that the indulgence itself, in these circumstances, never gives the pleasure that it promifes.

Lady Charlotte Sprightly, the wife of a young Baronet, was dreffing for an affembly a few nights ago, when Sir Harry came in. "My dear Charlotte," fays he, "I am forry that you are going out to-night; for '' my coufin George is just arrived from the Eaft-Indies; I have invited him to fup; and as he has never

feen you, I promised him your company." "Nay, dear "Sir Harry," replied the lady, "do not afk me to "ftay at home to-night; you know I am fond of "dancing, and now my fancy is fet upon going, I am ❝fure you will not diffappoint me." Sir Harry, who was truly good-natured, would not urge her to stay; tor to ftay with apparent reluctance, would not have gratified his wish. She perceived that he was secretly difpleafed; however, away fhe went. But as fhe had not lefs good-nature than Sir Harry, the fuffered fo fo much pain by reflecting on the pain fhe had given him, that she often wished hcrfelf at home. Thus fhe affended the delicacy of his affection, by preferring a dance to the quiet of his mind; and forfeited part of the esteem, which was due to that very good-nature by which she lost the enjoyment of the night.

In this inftance the pain inflicted upon the husband, was accidental to the private gratification proposed by the wife. But there is a paffion very different both from malice and rage, to the gratification of which the pain of another is sometimes effentially neceffary. This paffion, which, though its effects are often directly oppofite to good-nature, is yet perhaps predominant in every breast, and indulged at whatever risque, is Vanity.

To a gratification of vanity, at the expence of reciprocal esteem, the wife is certainly under much stronger temptations than the husband and I warn the ladies against it, not only with more zeal, but with greater hope of fuccefs; because those only who have fuperior natural abilities, or have received uncommon advantages from education, have it in their power.

Successfully to rally a wife, confers no honour upon huroand; the attempt is regarded rather as an infult

than

than a contest; it is exulting in a masculine ftrength, to which the makes no pretenfions, and brandishing weapons he is not fuppofed to have skill to wield.

For the fame reasons, to confute or to ridicule a huf band with an apparent fuperiority of knowledge or of wit, affords all the parade of triumph to a wife; it is to be strong where weakness is no reproach, and to conquer when it would not have been dishonourable to fly. But thefe circumftances, which increase the force of the temptation, will be found to afford proportionate motives to refift it: whatever adds to the glory of the victor, adds equally to the dishonour of the vanquished; and that which can exalt a wife only by degrading a husband, will appear upon the whole not to be worth the acquifition, even though it could be made without changing fondness to refentment, or provoking to jealoufy by an implication of contempt. If the ladies do not perceive the force of this argument, I earnestly requeft that they would for once truft implicitly to my judgment; a requeft which, however extraordinary, is not unreafonable; because in this inftance the very vanity which hides truth from them, muft neceffarily discover it to

me.

But if good-nature is fufficiently vigorous to fecure the esteem of reafon, it may yet be too negligent to gratify the delicacy of love: it must therefore, not only be fteady, but watchful and affiduous: beauty muft fuffer no diminution by inelegance, but every charm must contribute to keep the heart which it contributed to win; whatever would have been concealed as a defect from the lover, muft with yet greater diligence be concealed from the husband. The most intimate and tender familiarity cannot furely be supposed to exclude decorum

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