Sometimes I am a Glover, And can do passing well Sir; But if by chance a Flaw I find, I straightway whip my Needle out, Sometimes I am a Cook, And in Fleet-Street I do dwell Sir: And put In weavering and Fulling, And underneath my Weavering-Beam, Sometimes I am a Shoe-maker, My Lasts for and my lasting Sticks, I know the length of Lasses Feet, The Tanner's Trade I practice, Of any Hide I dress'd Sir; For I have been tanning of a Hide, This long seven Years and more Sir; As ever it was before Sir. Sometimes I am a Taylor, And work with Thread that's strong Sir; I have a fine great Needle, About two handfulls long Sir: The finest Sempster in this Town, No Wit Like To a Woman's FROM THE EXETER GARLAND, 1720 You Gallants all London, pray draw near a while, She had a pretty Daughter, indeed she had no more, And she was Heir, as we do find to all her worldly Store. A Sailor came to court this Maid, but he was very poor, Yet ne'ertheless this Maiden fair did him much adore. This youthful Couple agreed to wed in a little Time, The Maiden said, Pray, Mother, let me wed my Dear, For we have loved each other above these seven Year. The Mother then she said, Have him with all my Heart, But with one Farthing of your Portion yet I will not part. The Daughter said, Your Reason for this let me know, Six thousand Pounds my Father has left me, that is true, As long as I have Wealth enough, I'll have the Man I love, And therefore I do hope you will of the Match approve. Then straightway in Passion the old Woman swore, You're too young to marry yet, and therefore pray forbear, For you must let me marry first, for tho' I'm old and gray, I have a Tooth within my Head that's coltish I do say; This Money 'twill bring me a Husband brisk and young, 'Tis Time enough for you to begin, I think, when I've done; My Child, you ne'er knew the Bliss, and so you cannot pine, As I for want of my Goodman have done a tedious Time. you Dear Mother, you make me blush to hear you talk so wild, But since do a Husband want, I swear as I'm your Child I'll stay till you're married first, and when it is my Turn, I hope to have the Man I love, so let the Game go on, Pray fit me for the Country, for there I mean to go, This young crafty Damsel has a Frolic in her Head, And therefore I'm resolved this Frolic for to play, And cheat the good old Woman of all the golden Prize. Her Lover he did heartily laugh to hear the same, I'll stifle her with Kisses, and put her in Surprize, I'll on her Bosom lay my head, her Bubbies to embrace; I've a Friend that soon shall go, my Person to commend, And tell I'm in Love with her, and soon she'll for me send: So fare you well, my dearest Dear, this Frolic I'll pursue, And every Day I'll let you know how all Matters go. The old Woman thinking her Daughter out of Town Her Daughter, drest like a Beau, one day she did meet, your She said, Go along with me, and if She not thinking who this young airy Spark might be Then gave her melting Kisses, & pulled her on's Knee, And with her ancient Bubbies played a pleasant Comedy. The old Woman did simper, & was pleased to the Heart, Saying, My Dear, a Diamond Ring, I'll give before we part. Then up Stairs she took him to see her golden Store, Saying, The Day I marry you, I'll give you this and more; But can you love me heartily, tell me, my pretty Dear, Because you see that I am old, and stricken well in Years. And you are but a Stripling, Just in your youthful Prime, I fear you will a Whoring run, and leave me for to pine. Dear Madam, I did never love a Whore in all my Life, I'll be as constant as the Dove when you are made my Wife. My Dear, said the old Woman, on St. Andrew's Day I'll make you Master of my Store before to Bed we go, With many amorous Kisses they parted that Night, A courting to her Mother each Day she constant went; At length St. Andrew's Day came, to her great Content. To Church then to be married this couple they did hie, The Marriage being over, the Fun comes by and by. As soon as e'er the Bridgeroom came within the Door She took him in and made him the Master of her Store, Her Gold, Bonds, & Leases, she did to her Spouse resign, Saying, Take Possession of my Store for thou'rt fairly mine. This done, the Female Bridegroom began to be in Care Which way the golden Prize to convey unto her Dear, Then turning to her Mother, said, My Heart's Delight, We'll go abroad to dine to Day, and home to Bed at Night. The Bride she had a Sister lived in Hanover-Square, Ten thousand Pound to the jolly Sailor she did give, The Sailor went off, the Bridegroom went to the Bride The Devil take her if it be, (The Mother then did say) I will have the Breeches down to know what Sort of Ware. Then rising in a Passion did about the Breeches fall The Daughter laughed heartily, she had no strength at all, She said, How can you be so rude such Things to discover? I'm sure I am as good a Man as ever was my Mother. She got the Breeches down, & found that it was true, She said, Since you've me deceived I'll surely make you rue. It is not in your Power, (the Daughter she did say) You fairly did surrender your Treasure unto me; So I'm resolved to-morrow to wed the Sailor bright, The old Woman tore the Teeth out of her Head, Pretty Kate of Windsor: ANONYMOUS. FROM PILLS TO PURGE MELANCHOLY, 1720 NEAR to the Town of Windsor, upon a pleasant Green, To treat with her in Private, first came a Booby Squire, Soon after came a Lawyer, as he the Circuit went, He swore he'd Cheat her Landlord, and she should pay no Rent; He questioned the Fee simple; but him she plainly told, The next came on a Trooper, that did of Fighting prate, A late discarded Courtier, would next her favour win, Next came a strutting Sailor that was of Mate's degree, For if you had stood to't, you Rogues, the French had ne'er come here. Then ah! be kind, etc. |