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The most fatal disease of friendship is gradual decay, or dislike hourly increased by causes too slender for complaint, and too numerous for re-' moval. Those who are angry may be reconciled; those who have been injured may receive a recompense : but when the desire of pleasing, and willingness to be pleased, are silently diminished, the renovation of friendship is hopeless; as when the vital powers sink into languor, there is no longer any use of the physician.
Ibid. vol. 1, p. 130.
Men only become friends by community of pleasures. "He who cannot be softened into gaiety cannot esily be melted into kindness. Upon this principle Falstaff despairs of gaining the love of Prince John of Lancaster, for “ he could not make him laugh.” . .8214**. . Notes upon Shakspeare, vol. 5, p. 560.
The kindnesses which are first experienced, are seldom forgotten.
i Life of Walsh. * When Mr. Addison 'was made Secretary to the Marquis of Wharton, then Lord Lieutenant of "Ireland, he made a law to himself, never to remit his regular fees in civility to his friends. « For, !” said he, '“. I may have an hundred friends; and, if my fee be two guineas, I shall, by relinquishing my right, lose two hundred guineas, and no friend gain more than two; there is, therefore, no proportion between the good imparted and the evil suffered.” );
Life of Addison Men sometimés suffer by injudicious kindness
and become ridiculous without their own faults, by the absurd admiration of their friends.
Life of-Phillips. :
There are few who in the wantonness of thought-less mirth, or heat of transient resentment, do not sometimes speak of their friends and benefactors. with levity and contempt, though, in their cooler, moments, they want neither sense of their kindness nor reverence for their virtues. This weakness is very common, and often proceeds rather from negligence than ingratitude..
Life of Savage.
He cannot be properly chosen för a friend, whose kindness is exhaled by its own warmth or frozen by the first blast of slander; he cannot be: a useful counsellor, who will hear no opinion: but his own; he will not much invite confidence, wbose principal maxim is to suspect.; nor can the candour and frankness of that man be much esteemed, who spreads his arms to human kind, and makes every man, without distinction, a denizen of his bosom.
Rambler; vol2p. 61. One of the Golden Precepts of Pythagoras dinrects us, “ That a friend should not be hated for little faults.
Ibid., vol. 4 p.: 220.
Friendship, like love, is destroyed by long abo. sence, though it may be increased by short.intermissions. What we have missed long enough to want it, we value more when it is regained; but that which has been lost till it is forgotten, will K 5.,
be found at last with little gladness, and with still less if a substitute has supplied the place.
Idler, vol. 1, p. 127. Among the many enemies of friendship may be reckoned suspicion and disgust. The former is always hardening the cautious, and the latter repelling the delicate.
Ibid. p. 130. Among the pleasing incidents of life may be numbered the unexpected renewals of old acquaintances.
Western Islands, p. 24. All feel the benefits of private friendship, but few can discern the advantages of a well-constituted government; hence the greater part of amankind will be naturally prejudiced against Brutus. . • Review of the Memoirs of the Court of Augustus, p. 5o FLATTERY. .
. • In every instance of vanity it will be found that the blame ought to be shared among more than it generally reaches. All who exalt trifles by immoderate praise, or instigate, needless emulation by invidious incitements, are to be considered as perverters of reason, and corrupters of the world, and since every man is obliged to promote happiness and virtue, he should be careful not to mislead unwary minds, by appearing to set too high a value upon things by which no real excellence is conferred.
Rambler, vol. 4, p. 84. . To be flattered is grateful, even when we know that our praises are not believed by those who
pronounce them; for they prove at least our power, and show that our favour is valued, since it is purchased by the ineanness of falsehoodi.
Ibid. p. 110. In order that all men may be taught to speak truth, it is necessary that all likewise should learn to hear it; for no species of falsehood is more frequent than Hattery, to which the coward is betrayed by fear, the dependent by interest, and the friend by tenderness. Those who are neither servile nor timorous, are yet desirous to bestow pleasure; and while unjust demands of praise, continue to be made, there will always be some whom hope, fear; or kindness, will disa pose to pay them.
Ibid. p. 247.
He that is much flattered, soon learns to flat. ter himself. We are commonly taught our duty By fear or shame; and how can they act upon the man who hears nothing but his own praises?
1 Life of Swift. Just praise is only a debt, but flattery is a present,
Rambler, vol. 3, p. 294.
Neither our virtues por vices are all our own, If there were no cowardice, there would be little insolence. Pride canpot rise to any great degree, but by the concurrence of blandishient, or the suffrance of tameness. The wretch who would shrink and crouch before one who should dart his eyes upon him with the spirit of natural equality, becomes capricious and tyrannical when he sees himself approached with a downcast K 6
look, and hears the soft addresses of awe and servility, To those who are willing to purchase favour by cringes and compliance, is to be imputed the haughtiness that leaves nothing to be hoped by firmness and integrity. Ai*07:,:.-01. . . Ibid. vol. 4, p. 3. : The Aatterer is not often detected; for an honest mind is not apt to suspect, and no one exerts the power of discernment with much vigour when self-love favours the deceit.
Rambler, vol. 2, p. 120. It is necessary to the success of flattery, that it be accommodated to particular circumstances or characters, and enter the heart on that side where the passions stand ready to receive it.
Ibid. vol. 3, p. I. ļ. FOLLY. No man will be found in whose mind airy notions do not sometimes tyrannise, and force him to hope or fear beyond the limits of sober probability. P U
Prince of Abyssinia, p. 259. The folly which is adapted to persons and times, has its propriety, and therefore produces no censure; but the folly of wise men, when it happens, taints their wit, and destroys the reputation of their judgment.
Notes upon Shakspeare, vol. 4, p. 225. As with folly no man is willing to confess 'himself very intimately acquainted, therefore its pains and pleasures are kept secret.
Review of the Origin of Evil, p. 1o.