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send you back again to your master, for a jewel,—the juvenal, the prince your master, whose chin is not yet fledged. I will sooner have a beard grow in the palın of my hand than he shall get one on his cheek; and yet he will not stick to say his face is a faceroyal : God may finish it when he will, 'tis not a hair amiss yet: he may keep it still at a face-royal, for a barber shall never earn sixpence out of it; and yet he'll be crowing as if he had writ man ever since his father was a bachelor. He may keep his own grace, but he's almost out of mine, I can assure him. What said Master Dombledon about the satin for my short cloak and my slops?
Page. He said, sir, you should procure him better assurance than Bardolph: he would not take his band and yours; he liked not the security.
Fal. Let him be damned, like the glutton ! pray God his tongue be hotter! A whoreson Achitophel! a rascally yea-forsooth knave! to bear a gentleman in hand, and then stand upon security! The whoreson smooth-pates do now wear nothing but high shoes, and bunches of keys at their girdles; and if a man is through with them in honest taking up, then they must stand upon security. I had as lief they would put ratsbane in my mouth as offer to stop it with security. I looked a' should have sent me two and twenty yards of satin, as I am a true knight, and he sends me security. Well, he may sleep in security; for he hath the horn of abundance, and the lightness of his wife shines through it: and yet cannot he
see, though he have his own lanthorn to light him. Where's Bardolph ?
Page. He's gone into Smithfield to buy your worship a horse.
Fal. I bought him in Paul's, and he'll buy me a horse Smithfield : an I could get me but a wife in the stews, I were manned, horsed, and wived.
Enter the Lord Chief Justice and Servant. Pagr. Sir, here comes the nobleman that committed the prince for striking him about Bardolph.
Fal. Wait close; I will not see him.
Serv. He, my lord : but he hath since done good service at Shrewsbury; and, as I hear, is now going with some charge to the Lord John of Lancaster.
Ch. Just. What, to York? Call him back again.
CH. Just. I am sure he is, to the hearing of any thing good. Go, pluck him by the elbow; I must speak with him.
Serv. Sir John!
Fal. What! a young knave, and begging! Is there not wars? is there not employment P doth not the king lack subjects ? do not the rebels need soldiers ? Though it be a shame to be on any side
but one, it is worse shame to beg than to be on the worst side, were it worse than the name of rebellion can tell how to make it.
Serv. You mistake me, sir.
Fal. Why, sir, did I say you were an honest man? setting my knighthood and my soldiership aside, I had lied in my throat, if I had said so.
Serv. I pray you, sir, then set your knighthood and your soldiership aside; and give me leave to tell you, you lie in your throat, if you say I am any other than an honest man.
Fal. I give thee leave to tell me so! I lay aside that which grows to me! If thou gettest any leave of me, hang me; if thou takest leave, thou wert better be hanged. You hunt counter: hence! avaunt!
Serv. Sir, my lord would speak with you.
Fal. My good lord! God give your lordship good time of day. I am glad to see your lordship abroad: I heard say your lordship was sick : I hope your lordship goes abroad by advice. Your lordship, though not clean past your youth, hath yet some smack of age
in you, some relish of the saltness of time; and I most humbly beseech your lordship to have a reverent care of
health. Ch. Just. Sir John, I sent for
your expedition to Shrewsbury.
Fal. An't please your lordship, I hear his majesty is returned with some discomfort from Wales.
Ch. Just. I talk not of his majesty : you
would not come when I sent for
you. FAL. And I hear, moreover, his highness is fallen into this same whoreson apoplexy.
CH. Just. Well, God mend him! I pray you, let me speak with you.
Fal. This apoplexy is, as I take it, a kind of lethargy, an't please your lordship; a kind of sleeping in the blood, a whoreson tingling.
Ch. Just. What tell you me of it? be it as it is.
Fal. It hath its original from much grief, from study and perturbation of the brain : I have read the cause of his effects in Galen: it is a kind of deafness.
CH. Just. I think you are fallen into the disease; for you hear not what I say
you. Fal. Very well, my lord, very well: rather, an't please you, it is the disease of not listening, the malady of not marking, that I am troubled withal.
CH. Just. To punish you by the heels would amend the attention of your ears; and I care not if I do become your physician. Fal. I am
as poor as Job, my lord, but not so patient: your lordship may minister the potion of imprisonment to me in respect of poverty; but how I should be your patient to follow your prescriptions, the wise may make some dram of a scruple, or indeed a scruple itself.
CH. Just. I sent for you, when there were matters against you
your life, to come speak with me,
FAL. As I was then advised by my learned counsel in the laws of this land-service, I did not come.
CH. Just. Well, the truth is, Sir John, you live in great infamy.
Fal. He that buckles him in my belt cannot live in less.
Ch. Just. Your means are very slender, and your waste is great.
Fal. I would it were otherwise; I would my means were greater, and my waist slenderer.
CH. Just. You have misled the youthful prince.
Fal. The young prince hath misled me: I am the fellow with the great belly, and he my dog.
CH. Just. Well, I am loath to gall a new-healed wound : your day's service at Shrewsbury hath a littlc gilded over your night's exploit on Gad'shill: you may thank the unquiet time for your quiet o'er-posting that action.
FAL. My lord?
CH. Just. But since all is well, keep it so: wake not a sleeping wolf.
Fal. To wake a wolf is as bad as to smell a fox.
CH. Just. What! you are as a candle, the better part burnt out.
Fal. A wassail candle, my lord, all tallow: if I did say
of f wax, my growth would approve the truth. CH. Just. There is not a white hair on your face but should have his effect of gravity.
FAL, His effect of gravy, gravy, gravy,