« PoprzedniaDalej »
ty Seventh Years of his Age: A Time of Life too commonly given up to Senfuality and Va. nity. But here we fee a Young Man instead of Indulging himself in Folly and Pleasure, Bemoaning and Confeffing his Sins, earnestly Praying for Grace to refift every Temptation, and taking more Pains to fit his Soul for appearing at the Lord's Table, than others at that Age ufually do to Cloath and Adorn their Body's. The following Confefsion and Prayer, Written on Whitfon Eve,in the Twenty Sixth Year of his Age, will fufficiently confirm what I fay.
O my God, I know I am unworthy, and I believe I am much more; I fee my Sins to be very great, but when thou fhalt open · mine Eyes, (as I humbly entreat thee) I shall fee them much greater. I who had undertaken the higheft Degree of Holiness find my felf not only to have come fhort of thy Righteoufnefs, but to have run too much the other way. 'Tis true thy Merciful Provi'dence ftill raifes me up, and fets me in the ، way of Returning to thy Favour, neverthelefs my Sins ceafe not to be fuch,nor confufi· on to overspread my Soul. 'Tis too much that I, whom thou haft Fed with thy Self, fhould do fo: But too too much that I fhould again prefent my felf before Thee, to ⚫ have that Honour repeated upon me, and I with all my Load of Sin, to receive the Affurances of being made for ever happy with thee. My Soul flyes back from this Honour in the fenfe of my great Unwor
"thiness; but while methinks I hear Thee cry to it, as thou didst to Peter, If I wash thee not • thou haft no part in me, I dare not refufe: 'I refolve then to force my felf into thy Prefence with all my Blushes and my Guilt, knowing if Thou doft not Feed me I have no part in Thee: But Lord, I must come in a 'Dress fitting my Condition; not in a Gawdy Wedding Robe, fuch as thy Happy Chil'dren Triumph in, but in a Mourning Veil, 'fuch as becomes one who is Widow'd of his 'Innocence. Under this will I fhrowd my
my felf, with this will I hide my Guilty Blushes while I wait upon Thy folemnity. 'I will creep behind Thee my Saviour, and 'find out thy Feet to wash with my Tears; ' and if I must needs partake of thy Feast, it 'fhall be only fuch Crumbs as fall from thy
Table. I will not prefume to reach my 'Hand to the Royal Mefs, nor ferve my self ' with the Glorious Affurances of being uni'ted to Thee for ever, who am fuch finful 'Duft and Afhes: But for this time it fhall ' be enough and too much for me to find that Thou wilt be graciously ready to accept of me upon my Repentance and Amendment, avoiding all Sin, and that there is a way open through the Wounds of my Saviour for my Admission to thy Mercy. Lord, Thou art Privy to this whole Difcourfe, and Judg'eft the fenfe of my Heart with which it is fpoken; O Graciously pardon what thou feeft amifs in it, more than I can difcern, and according to the appearing Integrity of
· it, to the utmost of what I my self can judge, be Intreated by me, thy poor fervant, to 'fhew good unto me, and to strengthen · me in thy Ways, according as I (unfeignedly) defire to walk in them.
. Lord, if fuch a wretch as I might have leave to Expoftulate with Thee, if Duft and Ashes might have leave to speak to thy Ma، jefty, and a Sinner to Argue with his God;
fince fuch Defires to ferve Thee are agreea'ble to thy Will, and pleafing in thy fight, ' and fince thou art of Power fufficient to pre6 ferve those who are thus Devoted to the
height of their Defires. Why may not my • humble Prayers now be heard, that I may be fo ftrengthen'd with thy Grace from this Moment, that I may proceed and go for'ward in all well doing, from Grace to Grace, < perfecting Holiness in thy Fear, and being · never more Guilty of any wilful Sin against ، Thee my God! But thus have I humbly entreated of thy Majesty before, and with the like feeming fincerity, to my own fenfe, as 'I now do, yet haft thou thought fit to let & me fometimes fall: Looking forward, I fee β ftill that my Life Depends on thy Favour; ( and that I muft Perish without thy Divine upholding. What can I do more, than thus ⚫ humbly to entreat thy Majefty, what can I 'do more than to Fly to Thee, who I fee
haft the Cuftody of all my Ways? 'Tis true "I am not to expect that any one Prayer should
laft me for my whole Life, or that this Petition now fhou'd acquit me from waiting
upon Thee each Day for the fame thing in 'due Form: But canft thou refufe any one Prayer that is faithfully poured forth before Thee in the Name of thy Dear Son for a 6 Thing agreeable to thy Will? Hear then this my humble Request, O Lord my God, according as I unfeignedly Defire to pour it forth before Thee: Let me have Grace to ferve Thee; Let me be Delivered from all 'Sin and occafions of falling; Let me have 'Grace to wait upon Thee with never cea
fing Diligence in well-doing, with humble 'conftant and earnest Prayer: Let me proceed in Holiness, Exemplarinefs, and all • Christian Graces; make me both Inwardly found in respect of my felf, and outwardly Influential to all I converfe with; that thy Grace may be in my Heart, and on my Tongue, in my Looks, and in my Eyes, and 'fhine bright in all my Actions. Deliver me from Temptations and offer'd Occasions ' of Falling, and may it please Thee, for Jefus fake, to establish my Soul in fuch Truth, as it may not go to feek out for it felf opportunities of Sinning, that it may be established in thy Fear and thy Love, and that 'I may be preferv'd ever more in perfect Integrity and Honesty of Heart before Thee my God. This is it which I humbly beg, and if I want Faith, it is because I know my felf unworthy to receive: But my hum'ble request being agreeable to thy Heavenly Will, I am bold to Affure my Soul, I fhall not go wholly without an Answer. Amen.
Comes for Ire-___ In the Year 1684, Mr. Bonnell leaving Mr. land and en-Freeman in France, came directly from thence ters upon bis into Ieland, and took his Employment of AcOffice of Ac-comptant General into his own hands, which comptant Ge had been since his Fathers Death, manag'd by Others for his Ufe. This is an Office of much Bufinefs, and great Truft; In the discharge of which, he was fo remarkably Diligent and Faithful, fo Dexterous in Dispatch, and fo ready to oblige, that he foon equally gain'd the Efteem of the Government, and the Love of all who were concern'd with him.
Is defirous to But as Religion ever had the principal quit all Secu-fway in his Affections, fo a mighty zeal for lar Employ that, a contempt of this World, and a Mind rais'd above its perifhing concerns, had before this time given him ftrong defires of quitting all Secular Employments, and dedicating himself entirely to the fervice of God; It cou'd be no Worldly confideration which fuggested that thought to him; for the Temporal Advantages of his Office, were greater than what he cou'd have expected in a long time, from any Ecclefiaftical Preferment; and his Station was befides, of fufficient Dignity and Credit. But in things relating to God, he conferr'd not with Flesh and Blood; and nothing hindred him from actually entring into Holy Orders, but the confideration that his Employment was a great Truft, and that he muft render an Account to God, not only for his Discharge of it, but for the Hands into which he fhou'd put it: A Man of knowledge and fufficient skill, but chiefly who had establish'd