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' by making them believe That now their 'Hand is in they may go on: that since they
have begun a Score, it will not much encrease their Guilt, to gratify themselves in the next Enjoyments: The Sum of their Guilt will be much the same, if having gone so far, they take tother Satisfaction in also; the same Repentance will serve to account for both, and the same Humiliation to wipe out all, and this Temptation seldom fails to carry it; especially when there is a strong Party within, and a predisposition in our Minds by former Commißions. But O my Soul, let me know that it is Infinite matter of Rejoycing,
to be sav'd from one sin; that we who bear upon God's Patience by our Commisfions, shou'd rather than displease him, suffer any thing, to avoid one Evil. The contrary is
the Language of a Heart alineated from God, and that has forgot the Sweets of his Fa
vour: besides the consequence is more fatal, and feldom terininates in one Sin; but encreasing the Enmity of our Will towards God, disposes us afterwards to commit the 'fame, and other Sins, maliciously, and in a
kind of Defiance to him, which before we • did out of Weakness and Childish Infirmity, (For the First Sins which are committed by
a Child of God, are Innocent, in respect of the additional Repetitions, which are committed on presumption of God's reconcileableness, and hopes of Repentance: For this does Two Things; It habituates the Person to the Sin, and makes him more powerfully
dispos'd to it by a bodily and mental Habit and Inclination: And it raises in his Mind a Sense of greater Guilt, and by consequence of God's Displeasure; The effect
of which is, that he contracts an Ermity to 'God; for being habituated and inclin'd to
his Sin, and knowing on the other side, that 'God is displeas'd with himn for it, he likewise
becomes Angry with God, who stands in the !
way of his Enjoyment and Gratifying him'self; and this breeds Enmity to God, which ' is the constant Affection of a Sinner, as Love 'is of a Saint, and nothing more hardens our
Heart from returning to God, or concludes us in a state of Sin, than this does; because
it makes us Sin maliciously, the Breach is 'made wide, and Reconciliation not easy ;
and in the mean time Habits grow Power'ful,and they carry away the Soul that is thus ? Eitrang’d from God, with the same ease that "a Wolt devoursa Solitary Sheep that is gone
astray, and quite out of the sight of its Shepherd. It is in the condition of the Israelites, when Moses was so long in the Mount; As for this Man (and this God) who brought us out of Egypt, we know not what is become of them : Up, let us make other Gods.
Hear, O Lord my God, the Humble Request of Thy Unworthy Servant, according
as I unfeignedly desire to pour it out before 'Thee; Let me have Grace to serve Thee; . Let me be deliver'd from every sin, and all
occasions of Falling; Let me have Grace to wait upon Thee with never ceasing
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Diligence, in well-doing in humble, constant, and earnest Prayer ; Let me proceed in Holiness, Exemplariness, and all Christian Graces ; make me Inwardly Sound in re. spect of my self, and Outwardly Influential to all I converse with: that thy Grace may be in my Heart and on my Tongue, in my Looks and in my Eyes, and shine bright in all my Actions.
Teach me, O my God, the wisdom of Salvation, and let me understand Thy Will, ' and way of proceeding in dealing with my
Soul. In all my Sufferings I find that this ' gives me ease, and makes me able quietly to
submit, while Thou dost tell my Soul, It is thy Will I shou'd thus Suffer ; For in submitting to Thy Will, I hope to please Thee; and in gaining Thy Favour, I gain more
than the World can make me lose. Fare'wel then all Projects and vain Contrivances;
this is the Will of my God, This must be best for my soul; Here I will stay, and here will I fubmit.
The great Benefit of these severe Tryals, from Sickness and other Afflictions he expresses in the following Meditation, Compos'd soon after the Former.
• O Lord, Thou didst bring the Wise Heathen to the knowledge of Thy Son, by 'the leading of a Star : How carly didít 'Thou make them partakers of this great
Blessing ! whose Minds having duly improv'd their Natural Light, Thou didst Form by Thy Blessed Spirit to that degree of Saving
· Humility, that they were not offended at the ( meanness of our Saviours Circumstances. ' Had not that exceeding great Joy, wherewith (they were Transported, when they saw the
Star Conducting them to the place where
our Saviour lay, buried all Carnal Affections ' in them, the Pride of their Heart wou'd
have made them have flung back, as Naaman • did from Elisa, saying, surely we thought ? to have found some great Prince richly At' tended, and in despight of the Heavenly e Signal, counted all but a Delusion, and have
refusd to have submitted their reason to so "great Absurdities: But Thou, O Lord, didit • not only enlighten their Eyes, but touch
their Hearts, and inflame their Spirits with < Heavenly affections, so that when they saw
the Star, they rejoyced with exceeding great Joy. (Thou, O Lord, halt thought fit to Afflict (me in divers manners; in Mercy I Trust for "the good of my Soul, that thou may st not c Condemn me w.th the World: But, O Graci<cious Lord, while I find my Soul mov'd i to Thee by such Chastisements, while I find ( each of them to have its natural and due Efcfect upon my Spirit, while I find my Soul - humbled by Reproaches, my Mind drawn ! off the World, and resign'd to Thee with 'c humble and contented dependance at Losles; ( while it is thus with me upon each Occasion; "Let Men contemn and speak evil of me; (Let the News come of the loss of my Estate ' or other Calamity, I shall Rejoyce, O my God, with exceeding great Joy; because it ! brings me to the Haven were I would be, and to " that temper of Mind, which is more preci'ous than all things upon Earth. Indeed ' while afflictions have nct this due Effect they
are like wandering Fires, that lead my Soul 'so much the more Astray ; but when they I have, they are like this Blessed Star that Con
duets me to my Saviour ; whom when I I find warming my Soul with heavenly Affe* ctions, I cannot but Rejoice with exceeding
great Joy; with Joy, to find my Lord, while "I lose the World; with Joy to find my hea- 1 venly Physick work kindly on my Soul;
and an Eternal Health springing up in it.
O my God, so guide me, so conduct me, so ! prepare my Soul, and temper my Mind,
I that I may chearfully follow the Motions of .Thy Blessed Providence, and yield my self I to the mighty Workmanship of thy Eternal • Spirit.
There is another thing which I shall here take notice of, concerning Mr. Bonnell's early and happy progress in Piety ; which is, that as both at Cambridge,and Mr. Freeman's he was a constant Communicant, so his self Examinations for the Sacrament were strict and severe. He began very early a most useful Practice, which he continued during his whole Life, and that was, upon every Return of the Holy Sacrament, to put down in Writing those Thoughts which at that time most Affected and Entertained his Mind. I have a good number of Sacramental Meditations, compos'd by him, betwixt the Twenty First and Twen