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wear it joyfully, as Thy Livery, and as a Badge of my being thy Care. Amin.
Again he Praises God for that which few in this World do think a Blesling, but to too many is one of the most Afflicting Effects of Sickness.
'I Praise thee, O my Saviour, (says he,) for these pale Looks, this wan Vilage, and for giving me such a Face as is not capable to Rival Thee nor Rob Thee of any Heart of thy Servants, which I fear the naughtiness
of my own Heart if thou didst give me other ' Looks, wou'd be apt to abuse to this End :
I dare not be secure of my felf; I willing
ly accuse my self to Thee, my Lord, and < rejoice and biefs Thee in that thou dost
put out of my power to be treacherous to 6 Thee.
In the same place he pursues his Devotions in the following manner,
I Praile Thee, O my God, for making me thy Care and for this proof of it, that thou
art pleas’d to chastise me with thy fatherly “ Rod. Two things I humbly beg of Thee, that
thou woud'st pardon those Sins which pro(voke thce to deal with me thus contrary to
thy Gracious Nature, and that thou woud'st & fanétifie thy Rod to me, that it may be effe< Ĉtual to remove my Sins, that thou may'st
remove it without danger of my Souls returning to folly. Anen.
These are some of Mr. Bonnell's Meditati. ons and Prayers, of Sickness and Pain ; nor did his Practice at all, fall short of them ; for
that Patience which he so earnestly pray'd for, he enjoy'd in a measure beyond the greatest part, even of good Men. When he has been in the greatest Anguish, with two very tormenting Distempers, (the Gravel and Cholick) he wou'd often say i Thy Will O God, thy Will be done with me, and upon me: I have no Will of my own, and rejoice in doing Thy Will. O that Mercies are these Sufferings, if they be the Way, God thinks fit to punish my Sins here, in order to spare me bereafier! How much
greater re my Saviour's Sufferings upon the Crojs! Did he undergo such Agonies for my Sins, and shall not I chearfully submit to , and embrace what ever God sees fit to lay upon me!
With much more, to the same purpose, in every fit of Pain. When any Medicine was given him, he wou'd, after begging God's Blesing, take it then wou'd usually fay; It is better than I deferve; 1 bless God for it, and for giving me such Alistances in this Extremity. Ob? bow many of his better Servants, want these Comforts! Blessed be bis Holy Name, for giving them to me.
Nor was he only patient under Bodily Pains, but submissive to the Will, and satisfied with the Wisdom of God in every Affair of Life, under every Disappointment, Diffi. culty and Trouble.' He considered that God gives us different Talents, different Capacities and Employments, and will not proportion our Reward to the part he gave us to act, but our Faithfulness in it. To this purpose is the following Meditation upon 1 Sam. 30. 24. And it was so from that Day forward, that he
made it a Statute and an Ordinance for Israel unto this day, that as his part is that goeth down to the Battle, lo shall his part be that tarrieth by the Stuff; they shall part a cike.
0 Blessed Son of David, and Captain of our Salvation, under whose Banner thy Ser
vants fight, and are thy Sworn Soldiers to ' their Lives End; when I hear some say thy 'Toke is easie and thy Burden light and they seem
to speak as they think, because they find
not much difficulties in Life, but run on in ' a happy and even composure of Health, and
of Business proportion'd to their strength, freed by their circumstances from violent Temptations, and by thy Favour in framing thein from strong Passions, (tho' I own and
exultingly declare with them, that thy Yoke ' is indeed an easie Yoke, and thy Service per
fect freedom, and that the keeping thy Com( mandments is its own infinitely abundant
Reward ; yet) I consider that in Warfare'all ( have not the same Posts of Hardship and
Danger. Some Confront the Enemies and ( some must stay by the Stuff What earthly " Commander knows how to suit these parts
exactly to his Men? But thou, O Lord, doft it with the highest degree of Wisdom,
and fitness to thy several Soldiers strength (and abilities. And because thou givest ? each his Burden according to his might in
nicest Equity, therefore thou hast ordain'd it for a perpetual Law to them, that those that tarry by the Stuff hall part alike with those that confront the Enemy. Both sħare
alike in thy Favour, both enjoy alike thy 'Love, and both partake alike in thy Glo
ry: Only here is the Difference ; not who chave had the hardest Posts, but who have ' behaved themselves faithfully in the Posts
they had, whether hard or easie, shall be re
warded by Thee, His Seif.De Such was Mr. Bonnell's Humility, such was nial. was his Meekness and Patience; and agreeable
to these, was his Mortification and Self-denial; a Grace which always proceeds from a meek and lowly Spirit. I Mall not here speak of his Mortification in point of Fasting, and the great Severity of his Life ; That must be re, served for another place. The Mortification here meant, and what Mr. Bonnell constantly labour'd after, was an unconcern'd Indifference to the World ; 'to its Profits and Pleasures, to Honour and Fame ; and all the other Idols of Mankind. His great Endeavour was, to gain the entire Mastery of his Will and Affections; and fo to discipline and time them, that they might not grow Stubborn and Rebellious. In order to this, his usual Practice, was to deny himself in small matters, to which he found his Inclinations prompted him, that so they might be under his Government in greater. This point, lie had nicely consider'd; and treats of it in feveral places of his Writings, with his usual Piety and Judgment; as will appear from one or two Meditations upon this Subject.
. That denying our selves in particular, and little Instances of lawful Enjoyments,
is not (says he) a superstitious and unprofita'ble Exercile; appears from hence, that God,
who is a bountijul Remarder of a Cup of Cold 'Water, gives us good Thoughts for it; which ( flow into our Minds, with a sensibly, more
freedom, and affectingness, upon such Occasion, than at other times. On the contrary, our not complying with such a Hint, when we have a Motion to deny our selves, in small things; but yielding to our Appetite, or Curiolity, and perhaps palliating our doing so, with saying, that it is a Trifle, not fit to make a Sacrifice of to God, deprives us of good Thoughts, and hardens our Minds against them; unless we recover our selves, < by being humbled before God, and fortifycing our Resolution against the next Encoun
For tho' this yielding to our Appetite, be not a Sin ; yet it has such a Relem
blance, and image of Sin, that no lover of c God, but ought to have an aversion to it.
What is Sin, but giving way to our Appe
tites and Inclinations, against the Checks of ( our Conscience ? The head-strong vio. < lence of our Wills, carrying away forci
bly our Powers and Faculties, to act a
gainst our Reason and Understanding. And • this agrees so far with sin, that it is an • Instance, tho’ in a lesser degree, of the <head strong unruliness of our Will, carrycing us on to act; tho' not against our Con< sciences, because the Matter of it is lawful; 6 yet against the Counsel of our Reason, exĆ horting us to exercise our selves, in little