tite: I snuff up my nose at a savoury smell; am weak, lazy, and, if you have a mind to add any thing else, a sot. But, seeing you are as I am, and perhaps something worse, why do you wilfully call me to an account, as if you were the better man? and, with specious phrases, disguise your own vices? What if you are found out to be a greater fool than me, who was purchased for five hundred drachmas?* Forbear to terrify me with your looks; restrain your hand and your anger, while I relate to you what Crispinus' porter taught me.

Another man's wife captivates you; a harlot, Davus: which of us sins more deservingly of the gallows? When keen nature inflames me, any common wench that picks me up dismisses me neither dishonoured, nor in the least solicitous whether a richer or a handsomer man enjoys her next. You, when you have cast off your ensigns of dignity, your equestrian ring, and your Roman habit, turn out, from a grave magistrate, a wretched Dama,† hiding with a cape your essenced head: are you not really what you personate? You are introduced, apprehensive of consequences, and as you are altercating with your passions, your bones shake with fear. What is is the difference, whether you go condemned, like a gladiator, to be galled with scourges, or to be slain with the sword; or be squeezed up, neck and heels, in a filthy chest, where the maid, conscious of her mistress's crime

* About fifty crowns sterling, if the Attic drachma was, as is computed, six shillings of our money. † A common name for a slave in Rome.

A gladiator, when he was sold, laid himself under these

sanguinary obligations.

has stowed you? Has not the husband of the offending dame a just power of punishing both? against the seducer even a juster? but she neither changes her dress, nor place, nor sins to that excess as you do; since the woman is in dread even of you, nor gives any credit to you, though you profess to love her. You must go under the yoke knowingly, and put all your fortune, and livelihood, and your reputation, together with your limbs, into the power of an enraged husband. Have you escaped? I suppose then you will be afraid for the future, and, being warned, will be cautious. No, you will seek occasion when again you may be in terror, and again may be likely to perish. O so often a slave! what beast, when it has once escaped, by breaking its toils, ever absurdly trusts itself to them again? You say, "I am no adulterer." Nor, by Hercules, am I a thief, when I wisely pass by the silver vases. Take away the danger and vagrant nature will spring forth, when all restraints are removed. Are you then, my master, so much my inferior, by being subjected to the dominion of so many things and persons? whom vengeance, though inflicted three or four times over, can never free from this wretched solicitude? Add to what has been said above, a thing of no less weight: for whether he be an underling, who obeys the master-slave,* as it is your custom to affirm, or only a fellow slave, what am I in respect of you? You, for example, who have the command of me, are in subjection to other things,† and are led about, like a puppet, which is movable by the means of wires not its own.

Who is then free? The wise man, who has dominion over himself; whom neither poverty, nor death, nor chains, affright; brave in the checking of his appetites, and in contemning honours; and perfect in himself, polished* and round; so that nothing can retard him in his level course; against whom misfortune ever advances ineffectually. Can you, out of all these, recognise any thing applicable to yourself? A woman demands five talents of you, plagues you, and, after you are turned out of doors, she bedews you with cold water; she calls you again. Rescue your neck from this vile yoke: Come, say I am free, quite free. You are not able: For an implacable master oppresses your mind, and claps the sharp spurs to your jaded appetite, and forces you on, though reluctant. When you, a fool, quite languish at a picture by Pausias, how are you less to blame than I, when I admire the combats of Fulvius, and Rutuba, and Placideianus, with their bended knees painted in crayons, or charcoal, as if the men were actually engaged, and push, and parry, moving their weapons! Davus is a scoundrel and a loiterer; but you have the character of an exquisite and expert connoisseur in antiquities. If I am allured by a smoking pasty, I am a good-for-nothing fellow: Does your great virtue and soul resist the temptation of delicate entertainments? A tenderness for my belly is too destructive for me; Why so? For does not my

* Alluding to a globe, which, having no asperities, goes smoothly on its course.

back pay for it? But how do you come off with more impunity, since you hanker after such dainties as cannot be had for a little expense ? Then those delicacies, perpetually taken, pall upon the stomach; and your mistaken feet will not support your sickly body. Is that boy guilty, who by night pawns a stolen scraper* for some grapes? And has he nothing servile about him, who, in indulgence to his guts, sells his estates? Add to this, that you yourself cannot be an hour by yourself, nor dispose of your leisure in a right manner; and desert yourself as a mere fugitive and vagabond, one while endeavouring with wine, another with sleep, to cheat care: in vain; for the gloomy companion presses upon you, and pursues you in your flight.

Where can I get a stone? What occasion is there for it? Where can I get some darts? The man is either mad, or making of verses. If you do not take yourself away in an instant, you shall go and make a † ninth labourer at my Sabine

1

SATIRE VIII.

A smart description of a miser ridiculously acting the extravagant.

How did the entertainment of that happy felfow Nasidienus please you? for yesterday, as I was seeking to make you my guest, you were said to be drinking there from mid-day. It pleased me so that I never was happier in my life. Say, if it is not troublesome, what food first calmed your raging appetite?

In the first place, there was a Lucanian boar, which was taken while the gentle south-wind blew, as the father of the entertainment affirmed; around it, poignant rapes, lettuces, radishes; such things as provoke a languid appetite; skirrets, anchovies, dregs of Coan wine.* These once removed, one slave, tucked high, with a purple cloth wiped the maple table, and a second gathered up whatever laid useless, and whatever could offend the guests; swarthy Hydaspes advances, like an Attic maid, with Ceres's sacred rites, bearing wines of Cæcubum; Alcon brings those of Chios, undamaged by the sea.t Here the master cries; Mæcenas, if Alban or Falernian wine delight you more than those already brought, we have both.

Ill-fated riches! But, Fundanus, I am impatient to know who were sharers in this feast, where you fared so well.