him. He trusted her implicitly, and I think she felt his confidence deserved to be respected. Such was not the opinion of the world, I am well aware; but we all know the charitable construction it is so eager to put on a fair face with a loud laugh and a good set of teeth. Dear me! if he looked for a lady that had never been talked about, Cæsar might have searched London for a wife in vain. Good Mr. Lumley professed a great affection for me, and would Occasionally favour me with long and technical dissertations, on the interior economy of the flea, for example; and once in the fulness of his heart confided to his wife, that

Miss Coventry was really a dear girl: it's my belief, Madge, that if she'd only been a man, she'd have been a naturalist.' These little dinners were indeed vastly agreeable. Nobody had such a comfortable house, or such a good cook, or so many pretty things, as Mrs. Lumley. Her old man' seemed to enjoy the relaxation of ladies' society after his morning labours and researches. With me he was good-humoured and full of fun; at his wife's jokes and stories, most of them somewhat scandalous, he would laugh till he cried.

'I'm responsible for you, Miss Coventry,' he would say, with a sly laugh; you're not fit to be trusted with Madge; upon my life, I believe she is the wildest of the two. If you wont have the carriage, I must walk back with you myself. How

far is it, Madge? do you think I can slay the distance, as you sporting people term it in your inexplicable jargon ?'

"Why, you know you can't get a hundred yards, you foolish old man,' laughed his wife; a nice chaperone you'd make for Kate; why, she'd have to carry you, and you know you'd tumble off even then. No, no, you and I will stay comfortably here by the fire, and I'll give you your tea and put you tidily to bed ; I shan't be at home other night this week. Kate has a convoy coming for her; haven't you, Kate? le beau cousin will take the best possible care of us, and even prim Aunt Deborah wont object to our walking back with him. I believe he came up from Wales on purpose. What

any

would somebody else give to take the charge off his hands? - you needn't blush, Kate; I can see through a millstone as far as my neighbours. I'm not quite such a fool as I look, am I, old man?' There's the door-bell. John, ask Mr. Jones if he wont step up and have some tea?' We were sitting by a blazing fire in the boudoir, a snug and beautiful little room, to which no one was admitted but the lady's especial favourites-even the 'old man' never entered it during the day.

Mr. Jones's compliments, and he hopes you'll excuse him, ma'am,' was the footman's answer on his return, but it's very late, and he promised to bring Miss Coventry back by eleven.'

'Well, I'm sure,' said Mrs. Lumley, if I was you, Kate, I shouldn't stand his anticipating his authority in this way. Never mind, be a good girl, and do as you're bid; pop your bonnet on; shall I lend you an extra shawl? There, you may give my 'old man' a kiss, if you like; bless him he's gone fast asleep. Goodnight, Kate; mind you come to luncheon to-morrow, there's a dear.' So saying, Mrs. Lumley bid me a most affectionate farewell, and I found myself leaning on John's arm, to walk home through the clear frosty night.

I do like perambulating London streets by gas-light,-of course with a gentleman to take care of one. It is so much pleasanter than being stewed up in a stifly brougham. How I wish it was the fashion for people to take their bonnets out to dinner with them, and walk back in the cool fresh air! If it is delightful even in winter, how much more so in the hot summer nights of the season! Your spirits rise and your nerves brace themselves as you inhale the midnight air, with all its smoky particles, pure by comparison with that which has just been poisoning you in a crowded drawing-room. Your cavalier asks leave to indulge in his weed,' and you enjoy its fragrance at second-hand, as he puff's it contentedly away, and chats on in that prosy confidential sort of manner, which no man ever succeeds in assuming, save with a cigar in his mouth. John lit his, of course,

1856.]

but was less communicative, to my fancy, than usual. After asking me if I had enjoyed a pleasant evening,' and whether I preferred walking,' he relapsed into a somewhat constrained silence. I too walked on without speaking. Much as I love the night it always makes me rather melancholy, and I dare say we should have got to Lowndesstreet without exchanging a syllable, had not some imp of mischief prompted me to cross-examine my cousin a little upon his séjour in Wales, and to quiz him, half spitefully, on his supposed penchant for pretty Fanny Lloyd. John rose freely in a moment.

I know where you pick up all this nonsense, Kate,' he burst out quite savagely; I know where half the scandal and half the mischief in London originates! With that odious woman whose house we have just quitted, whose tongue cannot be still for a single moment, who never by any chance speaks a word of truth, and who is seldom so happy as when she is making mischief. I pity that poor decrepit husband of hers, though he ought to keep her in better order, yet it is a hard case upon any man to be tied to such a Jezebel as that.'

'That's exactly what I complain of,' urged my cousin; that's my great objection to her, Kate; that's one of the things that I do believe is driving me out of my senses day by day. You know I don't wish you to associate with her; you know that I object extremely to your being seen everywhere in her company. But you don't care; the more I expostulate, the more obstinate and wilful you seem to become.'

It was my turn to be angry now. 'Obstinate and wilful, indeed!' I repeated, drawing myself up. ‘I should like to know what right you have to apply such terms to me? Who gave you authority to choose my society for me? or to determine where I shall go and what I shall do? You presume on your relationship, John; you take an ungenerous advantage of the regard and affection which I have always entertained for you.'

435

John was mollified in an instant. Do you entertain regard and affection for me, Kate ?' said he; 'do you value my good opinion, and consider me as your dearest and best friend?'

'Of course I do, John,' was my reply. Haven't we known each other from childhood? and are you not like a brother to me?'

John's face fell a little, and his voice shook as he spoke: Am I never to be more than a brother to you? never to obtain a greater interest in you, a larger share of your regard than I have now? Listen to me, Kate-I have something to tell you, and I can put it off no longer. This delay, this uncertainty day by day, I do believe will drive me mad. Kate, I promised Aunt Deborah faithfully that I would never enter on this subject till you came of age, and you know by your father's will you don't come of age till you're fiveand-twenty. By that time, John,' said my aunt, Kate will have seen plenty of others, and be old enough to know her own mind. If she takes you then, she takes you with her eyes open, and she wont get tired of you, and find out she likes some one else better. Promise me, John, that you'll wait till then.' And I did promise, Kate; but I can't keep my word-I can't wait all those years in this state of anxiety and uncertainty, and perhaps lose you after all. It's too

great a stake to play for, if one is to be kept so long in suspense, and I have resolved to be put out of my pain one way or the other.'

I

John paused. I had never seen him so excited before; he was quite hot, though the night was keen and frosty; his arm trembled as mine leant upon it; and though his cigar was gone out, he kept puffing away, utterly unconscious of the fact. He seemed to expect an answer. hesitated. I did not know what to reply. I had got so accustomed to Cousin John that I never looked upon him in any other light than that of a favourite brother, a constant companion and friend. Moreover, I was not prepared to take any such decisive step as that to which he now seemed to be urging me. There is a great difference between

liking people and giving them power of life and death over one for the rest of one's days. I will not say that the image of another did not rise before me in all its winning beauty, as I had seen it last, scarcely one short week ago. Altogether, I did not know what to say, so I wisely said nothing, but walked on, looking straight before me, with an uncomfortable feeling that I was driven into a corner, and should ere long be compelled to do that which is always highly distasteful to our liberty-loving sex-namely, to make up my mind.' John, too, walked on for a few paces in silence. We were at the corner of Lowndes-street. There was not a soul to be seen but our two selves. All at once he stopped short under the light of a lamp, and looked me full in the face. Kate,' said he, in a grave, deliberate voice, you know what I mean yes or no?'

6

6

I shook like a leaf. What would I have given to have been able to take counsel of one of my own sex -Mrs. Lumley, Aunt Deborah, or even cold, pitiless Lady Horsingham! But I had to choose for myself. I felt that the turning-point of my destiny had arrived-that the game was in my own hands, and that now I ought to decide one way or the other. I shrank from the responsibility. Like a very woman, I adopted a middle course.

Give me time, John,' I pleaded, 'give me time to weigh matters over in my own mind. This is an affair that equally concerns the happiness of each of us. Do not let us decide in a hurry. Aunt Deborah was quite right; her wishes ought to be my law. When I am five-and-twenty it will be soon enough to enter on this subject again. In the interval believe me, John, I have the greatest regard and esteem for you.'

'Nothing more, Kate?' said John, looking as if he didn't know whether he was pleased or annoyed-nothing but esteem?'

'Well, I mustn't say any more,' was my reply, but you know you have that.

John's face brightened consider ably. And in the mean time, Kate,' he urged, you wont allow yourself to be entangled with any one else?'

'Of course not,' was my vigorous disclaimer; and by this time we had arrived at my aunt's door, and it was time to say 'Good night.'

What's the matter, Kate?' exclaimed Mrs. Lumley, when I called to lunch with her the following day, according to promise. You look pale and worried. For goodness' sake, tell me what has happened. Have you found out the rover transferring his adoration to Miss Molasses? or did mon cousin take advantage of the hour and the opportunity to lecture us last night on our love of admiration and general levity of conduct? Tell me all about it, dear. We sha'n't be disturbed. I'm not at home' to a soul, and my old man is busy dissecting an earwig, so he's quite safe till dinner-time. Sit you down on the sofa, out with your pocket-handkerchief, and make a clean breast of it!'

I told her the whole of my conversation with my cousin the previous night, only suppressing the unflattering opinions he had thought fit to express of my present confidante. And oh, Mrs. Lumley,' I exclaimed, as I concluded,

how

could I sleep a wink last night, with all this to harass and reproach me? No wonder I'm pale and worried, and perfectly miserable. I feel I'm behaving shamefully to John, and not at all rightly towards Captain Lovell. I know I ought to come to an understanding with my cousin, and that Frank ought to be more explicit with me. I couldn't have given a decided answer last night if my life had depended on it. I can't give up the one without knowing exactly whether he means honestly (if I thought he did, Mrs. Lumley, nothing should induce me to throw him over); and I don't like to make the other miserable, which I am sure I should do if I refused him pointblank; nor do I think I could do at all well without him, accustomed as I have been to depend upon him for everything from childhood. So I have wavered and prevaricated and behaved disingenuously, almost falsely—and what must he think of me now?

Think of you, my dear?' replied my worldly friend; why of course he thinks of you more than ever.